Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 789972

Shown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

had T Tues

Posted by muffled on October 18, 2007, at 14:08:14

Was OK. Hard to reconnect for both of us.
T dunno where to start.
I said bout That kid some.
That Kid. We hate her.
T did a visual, said a sad kid sitting there, what would I do?
I'd kick her.
But thing that is SO strange, was next day, BAM, it falls into my head, that in MY mind visual, that there were TWO kids, like mirror images, bout 6 feet apart. Huddled in a dark alley. Hunched.
At the time, I was too busy trying to come up with a resonably civil answer for T. So it kinda passed me by, that htere was 2.
WHY TWO?
I hate to talk bout That kid.
T read thread bout sex too. She was nice.
WHY I so dumb?
I should be normal.
I dunno if I CAN'T or if in fact I WON'T remember....
I dunno.
Bad feelings.
That Kid is so disgusting. We want her to die.
T said, how you think that kid gonna respond to you kicking her? I said she would off herself.
This all sucks.
T concerned that T be theraputic, or why else we do it?
I all messed.
No escape.
I be OK, always am.
Just venting.
Less someone knows why there is TWO in the visual...
M

 

Re: had T Tues

Posted by arora on October 18, 2007, at 14:55:50

In reply to had T Tues, posted by muffled on October 18, 2007, at 14:08:14

Muffled, do you meditate?
Sometimes when I have something like that happen, I try and sit quietly... breathe deeply for a few minutes; visualize the images... then ask them why?

Sometimes it works, and I do get some very good answers. I do this with dreams that I think are meaningful- I've had my inner kid confront me and vent at me once, by meditating on a bad dream.
She still doesn't like me- but at least we do communicate now and again.

If you think it might be too triggering, then just ask them to keep a safe distance from you. They will... they probably want to, anyway. My kid certainly won't come too close to me- Lol!

arora

 

Re: had T Tues » muffled

Posted by TherapyGirl on October 18, 2007, at 15:23:58

In reply to had T Tues, posted by muffled on October 18, 2007, at 14:08:14

Sorry, Muffly. I'm sorry it's so hard right now. I have no idea why there are 2 kids, unless each one holds part of a memory -- like maybe it was too big for one kid?

I wish I could do more to help -- I'm crashing and burning a little bit here. I feel totally useless.

 

Re: had T Tues

Posted by muffled on October 18, 2007, at 19:54:06

In reply to Re: had T Tues, posted by arora on October 18, 2007, at 14:55:50

Thanks arora, nice to see you.
Ya, I know I need to look inside....
Just I spent my life NOT doing it....
Its proly all nothing, but I have grown to fear my unknown emotions.
I hide them from all.
My T only knows stuff from my writings.
In T I keep calm mostly.
Show little.
No wonder she gets confused.
Hope you doing OK.
M

 

Re: had T Tues » TherapyGirl

Posted by muffled on October 18, 2007, at 20:08:58

In reply to Re: had T Tues » muffled, posted by TherapyGirl on October 18, 2007, at 15:23:58

TG, alls I need is for you to do just what you did.
Be with me.
Thats nice.
thank you.
Hope all your doings are going OK?
M

 

Re: had T Tues » muffled

Posted by TherapyGirl on October 18, 2007, at 20:44:55

In reply to Re: had T Tues » TherapyGirl, posted by muffled on October 18, 2007, at 20:08:58

You are the sweetest thing, Muffly.

My doings aren't doing too good right now. The depression has reared its ugly head yet again. My T told me today that she's concerned -- she usually tries to avoid saying that. Last time she said it, I ended up in the hospital. We have an agreement now that the hospital isn't the place for me, but...

She's hoping this is extreme PMS (due to the gyn. issue I've been having). I think it's the black hole and I'm tired of fighting my way out of it.

When do I get to have the life I've worked to have?

Sorry -- now I've hijacked your thread. I'll be happy to be with you, though. Anytime, any place.

 

Re: had T Tues » muffled

Posted by littleone on October 18, 2007, at 21:05:38

In reply to had T Tues, posted by muffled on October 18, 2007, at 14:08:14

> But thing that is SO strange, was next day, BAM, it falls into my head, that in MY mind visual, that there were TWO kids, like mirror images, bout 6 feet apart. Huddled in a dark alley. Hunched.
> WHY TWO?
> Less someone knows why there is TWO in the visual...
> M

Some of mine come in two's too. I think part of it is because of the good and bad splitting that we do over everything. Find good/bad splitting in so much stuff, both inside me and when I look at outside people.

Like the 11 year olds. One is the nice kid just doing the best she can but real kind of uncertain and unconfident. Just wants to fit in with the other kids. Then there's the horrible disgusting one stuck in the bottom of the pit.

One day we tried helping the bad one in the pit. We imagined her as a princess locked in an underground prison cell. Tried to see that underneath all the disgustingness she was actually really beautiful.

And as soon as I did that (turned the "bad" one into a "good" one), the other one flipped too. Suddenly that nice kid just trying to fit in became horrible and evil. It was *her* that locked the princess in the prison. It was *her* that spat on the princess and hurled abuse at her and ground slimy grime into her.

You told your T you would kick that kid. But what about the other kid beside her? Would you kick her too? Or do you feel something different towards her?

 

Re: had T Tues

Posted by rskontos on October 18, 2007, at 21:55:22

In reply to Re: had T Tues » muffled, posted by littleone on October 18, 2007, at 21:05:38

Muffy, My T told me of one patient that she was just treating for what she thought was just an inner kid she needed to reconnect with and she has her visually think about the kid sitting in the chair and this patient saw 5 more kids behind a screen next to the kid. Both T and the patient were blown away. Neither realized how much dissociation she had done in her past. So that is probably why you saw two. You had something happen maybe at different ages and each has a part of that. They may different ages or different strengths. Whatever they both service a purpose for you to make it to where you are. It is ok. You are not bad or crazy and you are worth caring about. I care about you. You are a real sweetie, all of you including the kid you want to kick. I wouldn't kick her as she is part of you that probably feels misunderstood. As we all do sometimes. rk

 

Re: had T Tues

Posted by muffled on October 18, 2007, at 22:11:28

In reply to Re: had T Tues » muffled, posted by littleone on October 18, 2007, at 21:05:38

Good ideas.
Gonna think on it all.
I kinda was freaked cuz I worried that it was my sis...:-(
She seems well adjusted, but she got serious health compromising eating issues, with its resulting health issues. She puts on such a good show...
I think she got 'stuff' too :-(
But I dunno that she knows.
Denial should be our families last name....
AND first name...
So we could never say.
I hope its just another me I really do.
It was odd how they looked the same.
I wanted to kick the one, but I didn't seem to have much feeling for the other one, good or bad, just indifferent, like that one didn't count or something.
It was very brief.
It just SO wierd how it allasudden came back at me so clear like it did.
Its all so complicated.
Nice to see you LO :-)
TG, you can hijack my threads anytime! Just happy to 'see' you. Hope you mebbe post some and get some off your chest?
Take special care. Enjoy those funny odd moments of peace when they unexpectedly happen...

 

Re: had T Tues » muffled

Posted by Dinah on October 18, 2007, at 23:51:21

In reply to had T Tues, posted by muffled on October 18, 2007, at 14:08:14

My thought was that this happened right after your therapist tried to help you see this sad little girl, and that's not your view. So when you visualized you saw two visions of the same thing. One you were used to, and one you haven't really explored yet.

Angry little girls are often sad little girls. Angry on the outside and sad inside.

Just a thought.


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