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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by B2chica on October 12, 2007, at 12:27:38
i emailed t to tentatively cancel next weeks appt. i just feeling so cruddy, i dont think its worth it to go....yes i know, you all will say to go anyway...
i probly end up going.
BUT
1)its so hard to even stare at a wall right now, how could the session be effective?
AND
2)im so kinda out of it i don't want her sending me to the hosp.
i'm feeling really bad.she emailed back saying she wants to keep appt., but i sent back telling her kinda like above, that its hard right now and dont want to waste $$ for null session.
*******
i think i'll just wait and see how i feel on monday...if i feel like today or worse i wont go, but if better i'll go.b2c
Posted by rskontos on October 12, 2007, at 12:57:41
In reply to trying to cancel..., posted by B2chica on October 12, 2007, at 12:27:38
You know she could make you feel better. Keep thinking about IRL kid and maybe that will help you sort things out. Keep telling all parts everything is ok. Tell T how you feel about her Do you think that will help. The part about her not really know how to handle all the parts of you, the alters or identities and see if she can reassure you and them. I am not sure if teen needs hugs. I wouldn't want that but that is me. I think maybe things are going to fast. Maybe to take it a little slower. Maybe Teen needs to feel safer with T, she likes her and that is a start but not still feeling safe yet to let go of her anger. I have a teen and when he is frustrated the most I get anger when he calms down the anger abates. So I would venture to say Teen is still upset about something and the anger stays until you and T find the root or make her feel safe. Again, my humble opinion. Also having two teenagers in the house again makes you relive that anger stage. I hope you keep the appt.
Posted by B2chica on October 12, 2007, at 13:12:40
In reply to Re: trying to cancel..., posted by rskontos on October 12, 2007, at 12:57:41
actually i think this depression is partly biological cuz it's been coming for a while now.
BUT i think that crash may be cuz teen went inside...i havent 'felt' her near in a while. and i heard once that anger tuned inward is depression.
wow...if that's true, i AM in trouble.but now i'm so down that i don't even want to bother talking aobut it.
i'll just take it day by day. and if i feel up to going tuesd. if i feel up to talking, maybe i can talk.
but i feel very non verbal right now.
(not that you could notice here). but typing seems easier for me than talking outloud.
its kinda like when you read to yourself...its just easier and faster.sorry tangent...i don't even understand where i went with this...
thanks RK
b2c.
Posted by DAisym on October 12, 2007, at 13:58:49
In reply to Re: trying to cancel... » rskontos, posted by B2chica on October 12, 2007, at 13:12:40
This is really hypocritical for me to type right now so this is a "do what I say, not what I do" post. But...
Make the commitment to keeping your appointments. No matter what, no matter who is "out" at that time. Otherwise the parts may go to war about going or not going. If "everyone" knows that therapy is mandatory, it will be easier in the long run. Even if you think you can't talk, silence with another person can be comforting. Usually you will find something to talk about.
I know it takes enormouse effort to go. My therapist told me once that I could come in my pjs, it was that important that I come. And once that decision is made, you have one less thing to struggle with over the weekend.
I'm sorry things are so hard right now.
Posted by muffled on October 12, 2007, at 14:14:24
In reply to Re: trying to cancel... » B2chica, posted by DAisym on October 12, 2007, at 13:58:49
OK, I said OK for break, mebbe I not right.
Just I been where it wasted and thats bad too.
But ya, continuity is good.
Thats why I thot phone.
But these days going to T is SO hard for me, gets all stirred.
I dunno.
Sometimes I just need to be away and pretend I am 'normal' for awhile steada keeping reinforcing the fact I wrecked.
But you be careful w/depression.
Careful w/SI.
And my people gone away before, ALLA them, for even a long time, like a WEEK. And its weird. But they come back.
Teen will come back.
Mebbe she just being smart and taking care of herself?
Dunno.
Mebbe she just needs some space.
I dunno.
Guess you gonna have to figger this.
Try and be good to yourself.
M
Posted by cactus on October 12, 2007, at 19:50:34
In reply to trying to cancel..., posted by B2chica on October 12, 2007, at 12:27:38
Don't cancel unless it's for financial reason, you know you'll feel better once you go, pls go. I'm currently looking for a T myself
Posted by RealMe on October 12, 2007, at 21:06:45
In reply to trying to cancel..., posted by B2chica on October 12, 2007, at 12:27:38
I guess I did not mean that teen literally needs a hug; I meant that teen needs to know someonce cares even if she is angry. I happen to like teen from what I have hard of her, and I hope I don't scare you away with that. I also know fro my own experience that teen is really hurting under all the anger. Anger is a way to push someone away especially when hurt or scared.
This is what I like about my T. He is not pushed away by my anger. He understands what it is really all about. No I don't have separate identities anymore, but they are there nonetheless and push and pull. I hope you change your mind and go to T. I think you will kick yourself later if you don't go, B2teen; yes I think it is teen who is trying to cancel. She needs to go with you to therapy.
RealMe
Posted by antigua3 on October 13, 2007, at 10:35:48
In reply to trying to cancel..., posted by B2chica on October 12, 2007, at 12:27:38
You mentioned somewhere about weaning your little one. Are you doing that now? If so, hormones could be playing a role here. If I'm wrong, so sorry.
antigua
Posted by happyflower on October 14, 2007, at 6:02:49
In reply to trying to cancel..., posted by B2chica on October 12, 2007, at 12:27:38
I hope you go to your session, I know you are afraid, but I think even if you don't say much, you could use the connection right now.
Has your feelings changed this weekend about Monday? (which is my T day too)
Posted by B2chica on October 15, 2007, at 8:09:25
In reply to Queston, posted by antigua3 on October 13, 2007, at 10:35:48
yes antigua i am.
and im sure hormones are a part of this...but also its really emotionally hard for me to stop. i just feel like its the only good thing my body has ever been good for...
Posted by B2chica on October 15, 2007, at 8:13:26
In reply to How are you feeling B2? » B2chica, posted by happyflower on October 14, 2007, at 6:02:49
well luckily my T appt isnt till tomorrow.
but i think i actually made myself sick this weekend. i have this coughing thing going on...but i don't think its a cold or anything i actually think it's my asthma kicking in...but i have had any real issues with that since (get this) since i was a teenager....but with what everyone is saying. i think maybe they're right and i just need to go. i think the attitude' about the appt is gone...i'm in the "i truly don't care about anything' stage.
so if i go fine, if i don't fine....
Posted by B2chica on October 15, 2007, at 8:14:00
In reply to How are you feeling B2? » B2chica, posted by happyflower on October 14, 2007, at 6:02:49
btw, thanks for asking HF...
Posted by cactus on October 16, 2007, at 2:21:19
In reply to Re: How are you feeling B2? » happyflower, posted by B2chica on October 15, 2007, at 8:13:26
> well luckily my T appt isnt till tomorrow.
> but i think i actually made myself sick this weekend. i have this coughing thing going on...but i don't think its a cold or anything i actually think it's my asthma kicking in...but i have had any real issues with that since (get this) since i was a teenager....
>
> but with what everyone is saying. i think maybe they're right and i just need to go. i think the attitude' about the appt is gone...i'm in the "i truly don't care about anything' stage.
> so if i go fine, if i don't fine....
>I haven't had asthma for years but when I get super stressed out, it comes back. Brains are strange things aren't they????
Posted by B2chica on October 16, 2007, at 8:06:50
In reply to Re: How are you feeling B2? » B2chica, posted by cactus on October 16, 2007, at 2:21:19
>> I haven't had asthma for years but when I get super stressed out, it comes back. Brains are strange things aren't they????
they are probably the most amazing things cactus.
they hold such power, to help, to heal, to remember, to not, to think, to discover, to provide emotions, to learn, to understand, to create personalities.
they enmesh the physical the emotional and the academic. always knowing just which one we need.
so perfect yet so unknown.
This is the end of the thread.
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