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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 19 of 19. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by sunnydays on July 31, 2007, at 19:20:33
He's leaving again. He's going on vacation next week for two weeks again. I called him so hopefully he will call me tonight, but I just saw him today. I'm so sad. He told me at the end of the session today and we talked about it a little, and I see him one more time Friday and then he leaves. I am so sad. I feel like such an idiot for getting close to him and then getting so sad when he leaves when I know he needs vacations to do the job.
So sad. And it was a hard session anyway. I feel like I'm dying from sadness.
sunnydays
Posted by TherapyGirl on July 31, 2007, at 19:40:31
In reply to help, posted by sunnydays on July 31, 2007, at 19:20:33
I'm so sorry, SD.
Does he usually wait this long to tell you? I wouldn't like that at all, but maybe it works for you. Does it?
Posted by sunnydays on July 31, 2007, at 20:01:52
In reply to Re: help » sunnydays, posted by TherapyGirl on July 31, 2007, at 19:40:31
Well, I have a week's warning. Last time he told me two sessions before (so we had two sessions to talk about it). But still, I think it's fine the notice he gave me. It's just killing me that he's going.
sunnydays
Posted by TherapyGirl on July 31, 2007, at 20:04:23
In reply to Re: help » TherapyGirl, posted by sunnydays on July 31, 2007, at 20:01:52
Yeah, I definitely get that it's killing you. I'm so sorry. Glad the short notice isn't making it worse.
Could you borrow a page from Daisy and ask him for something from his office or something to hold onto while he's gone? It's been a while since she talked about it, so I may have lost the details, but you could probably search and find the posts about it. Maybe that would help?
Posted by TherapyGirl on July 31, 2007, at 20:04:58
In reply to Re: help » TherapyGirl, posted by sunnydays on July 31, 2007, at 20:01:52
my T is on vacation (yet again) next week. So I'll join you in Camp Comfort if you want.
Posted by sunnydays on July 31, 2007, at 21:07:38
In reply to Re: help » sunnydays, posted by TherapyGirl on July 31, 2007, at 20:04:23
I have something from his office. I'm going to bring it in to 'recharge' it next time, but I already have it. I just miss him so so so so much.
sunnydays
Posted by annierose on July 31, 2007, at 21:20:07
In reply to Re: help » TherapyGirl, posted by sunnydays on July 31, 2007, at 21:07:38
I'm sorry you are feeling so sad. You might want to tell your therapist that you would like more notice next time he goes on vacation so you can process it with him. My t usually gives me a month's notice. This year, I asked her in May regarding her summer plans so I could "prepare" myself. I'm glad I asked since she was taking three weeks off. It's been 19 days so far ... AND ... I have to cancel due to a traffic ticket I am fighting ... major disappointment.
I hope the week passes quickly. I have an almost 9 year old at home that kept me very very very busy ... in a good way.
And I did things for myself too. I went to yoga, had dinner with friends and on Thursday I am getting a massage.
Posted by sunnydays on July 31, 2007, at 23:04:44
In reply to help, posted by sunnydays on July 31, 2007, at 19:20:33
I'm just part of his job. Something he needs vacation from. :( Something that can be wearing, exhausting. Some thing.
sunnydays
Posted by TherapyGirl on August 1, 2007, at 6:41:28
In reply to Re: help, posted by sunnydays on July 31, 2007, at 23:04:44
I know, I have moments where I think that, too. But honestly, why would anyone choose this job if they didn't care? There are other, easier things to do to make money.
And recharging is not the same as needing a break from you. So try to reframe it in your head, okay? I know it's hard, but thinking those thoughts is just going to make his vacation harder for you to tolerate, I think.
Posted by JoniS on August 1, 2007, at 8:04:32
In reply to help, posted by sunnydays on July 31, 2007, at 19:20:33
> ... I'm so sad. He told me at the end of the session today and we talked about it a little, and I see him one more time Friday and then he leaves. I am so sad. I feel like such an idiot for getting close to him and then getting so sad when he leaves when I know he needs vacations to do the job.
>
> So sad. And it was a hard session anyway. I feel like I'm dying from sadness.
>Sunny,
So sorry for your sadness. I know that situation well. Don't beat yourself up "feel like such an idiot for getting so close to him..." -- thats THERAPY [oddly enough] you are supposed to get close to him. He understands that you are sad and that you feel close to him. It's not a bad thing, it's human, and it's part of why T is so painful.
Hang in there. Do somethings good for yourself to help you get through the time he's away.
Wishing you well - peace & strength :-)
Posted by sunnydays on August 1, 2007, at 10:04:53
In reply to Re: help » sunnydays, posted by TherapyGirl on August 1, 2007, at 6:41:28
I'm trying. I hope he calls me back today and can help me reframe it. For me, once I have a thought like that it's really hard to get it out of my head. I know it's making it harder to face him going away, but it's really hard for me to get it out of my head.
sunnydays
Posted by sunnydays on August 1, 2007, at 10:06:18
In reply to Re: help » sunnydays, posted by JoniS on August 1, 2007, at 8:04:32
Thanks Joni. I'm going to try to do some good things for myself. It'll be harder because while he's gone I have to move (just from one building to another within my college), but it's still a move. But I'm going to try to do what I can.
sunnydays
Posted by Dinah on August 1, 2007, at 11:48:25
In reply to Re: help, posted by sunnydays on July 31, 2007, at 23:04:44
My therapist sounded so eager and relieved when his vacation came once that I plaintively told him he was sounding happy to get away from his work, and he was sitting right in front of his work. He looked so surprised, and said he of course didn't mean he was looking forward to getting away from *me*. And that seeing me was a nice way to end the week before his vacation.
Maybe you could think of it that way. Everyone needs a break from routine and work sometimes, but there are also pleasant parts of work. I prefer to see myself as one of the pleasant parts. :)
Posted by Dinah on August 1, 2007, at 11:50:29
In reply to Re: help, posted by annierose on July 31, 2007, at 21:20:07
I'm glad your time is almost up. :)
Posted by sunnydays on August 1, 2007, at 15:06:17
In reply to Re: help » sunnydays, posted by Dinah on August 1, 2007, at 11:48:25
Thanks Dinah. That does help. I'm waiting to hear from my T (hopefully soon, because I asked him not to call until I got done with work, and I just got done).
sunnydays
Posted by slugdoo on August 1, 2007, at 17:10:22
In reply to Re: help » Dinah, posted by sunnydays on August 1, 2007, at 15:06:17
Hope your T calls soon. I wish he gave you a bigger notice. At least the moving will help kill the time and then unpacking too. But take care of yourself too, do over do it. Take care sunnydays, your T will be home soon.
Posted by sunnydays on August 1, 2007, at 22:09:14
In reply to Re: help, posted by slugdoo on August 1, 2007, at 17:10:22
My T called this evening. He said he couldn't really understand very well what I said on the message because I was crying too hard. But he was very good on the phone. I told him I was finally feeling like he had gotten back and then he left again. And the way he said it was so great, "It makes sense that you would be like, "Where are you going now? You just got back?" because you just got secure again. But I'm really there for you the same as always."
And he guessed at what I said in the message and asked me, "Was it something about it being just a job?" And I said yes, and he said, "No, it's not. I mean, yes, it's my job, but it's really important, really serious stuff. It's really serious and important."
And he offered to call me twice while he was gone. I was really reluctant to accept that because I didn't want to be annoying, but he kept saying it was totally fine with him, so we'll do that. And he said it made total sense that this would bring up scared feelings for me since there's such a strong attachment. And when I apologized for getting upset and said I really did understand he needed a vacation, he said, "I know you understand that. But you honestly don't need to apologize. There are plenty of other people who have a hard time and call and their therapist calls them back. It makes total sense to me that you would be having a hard time."
So I would feel better if someone hadn't tried to play a joke on me earlier that triggered me big time and now I can't get the scared little-girl feeling to go away. :(
sunnydays
Posted by OzLand on August 1, 2007, at 22:55:30
In reply to he called, posted by sunnydays on August 1, 2007, at 22:09:14
I am so glad your therapist is going to talk to you when he is gone. I guess I don't understand what you are referring to about someone playing a joke on you, but that's okay. I don't have to know. I am paranoid and unstable enough right now that I am wondering, did I say something? I hopr not,
OzLand
Posted by sunnydays on August 1, 2007, at 23:05:58
In reply to Re: he called » sunnydays, posted by OzLand on August 1, 2007, at 22:55:30
Oh no, not someone here. It was someone else I know IRL that was playing a joke.
sunnydays
This is the end of the thread.
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