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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by PhytoEstrogen on April 5, 2007, at 9:49:34
What helps the most?
I have a good therapist, but we are trying to shift the focus of our work from talking about the past to talking about the future (which terrifies me)I haven't contemplated the future in a long time. It's kind of a big black blank in my mind.
I like this message board. sorry I don't have any juicy love stories about my psychotherapist. That's not really my style.
:P
Posted by gazo on April 5, 2007, at 14:39:41
In reply to Therapy for short-term anxiety, posted by PhytoEstrogen on April 5, 2007, at 9:49:34
> I like this message board. sorry I don't have any juicy love stories about my psychotherapist. That's not really my style.i like it here too, very supportive. are you joking when you say the above? cuz it kind of stings a little. It's not my style to be as attached to my former T as i am. i wish it wasn't the case. It's painful and it's hard to deal with. Juicy makes it sound like it's trivial or laughable. It isn't either of those things. i cry a lot about it.
i am chalking it up to joking. i'm not mad or anything. You seem nice. i just wanted you to know that it isn't funny to me. Being in torment isn't my style.
again, no ill will intended.
Posted by gazo on April 5, 2007, at 14:41:22
In reply to Therapy for short-term anxiety, posted by PhytoEstrogen on April 5, 2007, at 9:49:34
i shouldn't have said that. i am sorry. i don't know you or your intent. It's not your fault that i am suffering.
Posted by Declan on April 5, 2007, at 16:31:42
In reply to Therapy for short-term anxiety, posted by PhytoEstrogen on April 5, 2007, at 9:49:34
So the future terrifies you? It terrifies me too. At least you know what happened in the past. The future is liable to be worse. As you can see I have problems maintaining an optimistic focus. Not only that, the whole problem of finding a balance of grief for the past and fear for the future eludes me. But then (for reasons unexplained) I have been grieving all my life, except for those times I manage to be objectionable.
But what would happen if you could not keep yourself amused?
Goodness knows.I shall have to post again after I read and remember your question.
Posted by Declan on April 5, 2007, at 16:31:52
In reply to Therapy for short-term anxiety, posted by PhytoEstrogen on April 5, 2007, at 9:49:34
So the future terrifies you? It terrifies me too. At least you know what happened in the past. The future is liable to be worse. As you can see I have problems maintaining an optimistic focus. Not only that, the whole problem of finding a balance of grief for the past and fear for the future eludes me. But then (for reasons unexplained) I have been grieving all my life, except for those times I manage to be objectionable.
But what would happen if you could not keep yourself amused?
Goodness knows.I shall have to post again after I read and remember your question.
Posted by Declan on April 5, 2007, at 16:38:27
In reply to Therapy for short-term anxiety, posted by PhytoEstrogen on April 5, 2007, at 9:49:34
You mean, what kind of therapy helps most for anxiety?
Like, of the different types of therapy?
My experience was that psychodynamic therapy was (more or less) anxiety provoking, but it did satisfy and nurture within me a desire for truth and this may have strengthened me.
I'm afraid that's the best I can say.
What is it about the future that frightens you?
Posted by Declan on April 5, 2007, at 16:52:03
In reply to Therapy for short-term anxiety, posted by PhytoEstrogen on April 5, 2007, at 9:49:34
The world is made of glass.
>It's kind of a big black blank in my mind.<
Right, I understand.
You know those people who talk about goals?
They come out at Christmas and New Year and ask you what your goals are.I grew up in a situation where goals were inconceivable.
We had a toy as kids we made up that we called a 'Laliqueland Typewriter', presumably after lalique glassware.
The way it worked was you got a bike, put it upside down, got other wheels if you could get them, and then.....you connected all the wheels up with the string, and then moved one round, and then they all moved round, completely connected and (as I see now) unfree. This was deeply satisfying.So perhaps you can intuit that I am not a good person to ask about goals.
I suppose if Jesus (in person) turned up and said 'come, follow me'...well that would be good. I've never been good with freedom.
Posted by PhytoEstrogen on April 5, 2007, at 18:45:39
In reply to Re: Therapy for short-term anxiety, posted by gazo on April 5, 2007, at 14:39:41
poor choice of words. please allow me to rephrase:
"I'm sorry I have nothing to add about romantic transferance with my therapist. That seems to be one of the more typical topics on this board"
Posted by madeline on April 5, 2007, at 19:12:10
In reply to Therapy for short-term anxiety, posted by PhytoEstrogen on April 5, 2007, at 9:49:34
I really don't know that much about it, but I think cognitive-behavioral therapy might be used for that purpose - at least shorter term in nature.
Maddie
Posted by sunnydays on April 5, 2007, at 22:45:12
In reply to Re: Therapy for short-term anxiety » gazo, posted by PhytoEstrogen on April 5, 2007, at 18:45:39
> poor choice of words. please allow me to rephrase:
>
> "I'm sorry I have nothing to add about romantic transferance with my therapist. That seems to be one of the more typical topics on this board"
Don't forget about parental transference!!! That's another big one, at least for me. I can't even imagine having romantic feelings for my T because I see him as SUCH a father figure. I'm lucky though because he understands and says it's ok and that I wasn't filled up enough with good parenting when I was younger and that's part of our work together. I loved it when he said that. It made me feel so safe and understood.sunnydays
Posted by PhytoEstrogen on April 5, 2007, at 23:22:59
In reply to Re: Therapy for short-term anxiety, posted by sunnydays on April 5, 2007, at 22:45:12
i guess i got some maternal transference going on with my therapist. the problem is that my mom has let me down so many times that it's hard for me to trust my therapist.
she said something interesting today (therapist, not mom) that being denied the chance to love my mom must have led to a lot of anger.
i think she was right. it's hard not to love a mother, no matter how flawed they are. we only get one (plus a therapist).
:P
Posted by Iwillsurvive on April 6, 2007, at 10:58:06
In reply to Therapy for short-term anxiety, posted by PhytoEstrogen on April 5, 2007, at 9:49:34
> What helps the most?
> I have a good therapist, but we are trying to shift the focus of our work from talking about the past to talking about the future (which terrifies me)**yeah, the future.....I tend to kinda fly by the seat of my pants...
I think I may have had a dream or two as a kid, but they were crushed so WTF. I have more recently have some new ideas, but I keep it REAL loose, cuz it'll proly not happen. i don't got the chutzpah to move it thru.
Mostly I want to live long enough and be healthy (mentally and physically) to raise my kids well.> I haven't contemplated the future in a long time. It's kind of a big black blank in my mind.
**You can do what you want. But its weird to think of isn't it?
Will you live in a cave?
Be a middle class mom?
Be an amazing inventor?
Mechanic?
Who the hell knows eh?
>
> I like this message board. sorry I don't have any juicy love stories about my psychotherapist. That's not really my style.*You are SO lucky, and so am I. Thats a thing I have a HUGE problem with, this stuff where people get SO attached and get hurt, its just bad.
Hope things go OK for you phyto.
Take care
Posted by PhytoEstrogen on April 6, 2007, at 11:23:21
In reply to Re: Therapy for short-term anxiety, posted by Iwillsurvive on April 6, 2007, at 10:58:06
> > What helps the most?
> > I have a good therapist, but we are trying to shift the focus of our work from talking about the past to talking about the future (which terrifies me)
>
> **yeah, the future.....I tend to kinda fly by the seat of my pants...
> I think I may have had a dream or two as a kid, but they were crushed so WTF. I have more recently have some new ideas, but I keep it REAL loose, cuz it'll proly not happen. i don't got the chutzpah to move it thru.
> Mostly I want to live long enough and be healthy (mentally and physically) to raise my kids well.
>
> > I haven't contemplated the future in a long time. It's kind of a big black blank in my mind.
I always had this dream and now it's about to come true and I don't know what my next dream is. Maybe I'll write a book. That might be fun.> **You can do what you want. But its weird to think of isn't it?
> Will you live in a cave?Only certain caves
> Be a middle class mom?Doesn't sound too bad either, except for the childbirth part
> Be an amazing inventor?
maybe I already am?
> Mechanic?
I'm awfully handy around the house. I even replaced the belts on my vaccuum cleaner and fixed my dryer a few times.> Who the hell knows eh?
> >
> > I like this message board. sorry I don't have any juicy love stories about my psychotherapist. That's not really my style.
>
> *You are SO lucky, and so am I. Thats a thing I have a HUGE problem with, this stuff where people get SO attached and get hurt, its just bad.
> Hope things go OK for you phyto.
> Take carethanks iwillsurvive
:P
Posted by Daisym on April 16, 2007, at 20:51:39
In reply to Re: Therapy for short-term anxiety, posted by Iwillsurvive on April 6, 2007, at 10:58:06
*You are SO lucky, and so am I. Thats a thing I have a HUGE problem with, this stuff where people get SO attached and get hurt, its just bad.
***Can I ask why you have a huge problem with this? Just curious about your wording...
Posted by muffled on April 16, 2007, at 22:53:51
In reply to Re: Therapy for short-term anxiety » Iwillsurvive, posted by Daisym on April 16, 2007, at 20:51:39
> *You are SO lucky, and so am I. Thats a thing I have a HUGE problem with, this stuff where people get SO attached and get hurt, its just bad.
>
> ***Can I ask why you have a huge problem with this? Just curious about your wording...
>**Sorry Daisy, I can see how you might get this confused. I had to read it 3x to remember wtf I was saying?!
I think what I was trying to get at is that not all therapists seem to handle transferrance well.
In some therapy its part of the therapy, and is considered useful. But in other therapy methods it doesn't seem to be adequateltly addressed. And it seems to be SO painful. Because the feelings involved are very very real, and yet T is a very narrow relationship in most cases.
I have struggled with this, seeing the others struggle so hard.
I HATE to see the hurt.
Its SO confusing.
I struggle with real life relationships let alone T ones...
There's no clear answers...
Sucks.
And so I am fortunate that I am not there. That additional pain..
And yet, as I write this I think, hmmm, I don't let ANYbody close...... mebbe thats a bad thing???? Maybe I not lucky, mebbe I just doing same old, same old???....hmmmm. AH SH*T! Therapy sucks.
You got me thinking Daisy.
Take care,
Muffled
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