![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by scentedgarden on March 4, 2007, at 11:12:52
Hi fellow babblers... to all those who have helped me, and been kind enough to care and reply to my posts these past few weeks... I just want to let you know I'm sorry i don't feel much like talking right now...
I guess when it all comes down to it, there's a time to share and a time to refrain... a time to talk and a time for silence, a time for love a time for hate, a time to laugh a time to cry... This is a toime for sorting it all out by myself... for lots of tears, and please God no more heart ache...To anyone who has babble mailed me and i doidnt reply, pls forgive me... I just can't face it right now... as i dont know what to say to you..
I have not gone ahead with a legal complaint as yet.. I have made some enquires but it wont be something i would do...
I have much to tell... and at same time nothing to tell.. Yes I'm still hurting, but i can't say much more... I'm juat all out of whatever it is that makes us post out troubles on these boards.. I've got nothing left right now but buckets of tears... that seem to be coming from the deepest depths of my core being...
I miss you guys somewhat... which really is a suprise to me..as i dont even know what you look like.. but i have my pictures of you in my mind..
So I guess if anyone really likes me and feels that they made a connection with me through cyber space, then they will also have a picture in their mind of me.
So you know who you are...
thanks again for the great support on here... It's helped me through some tough times.. just reading the posts helps, then when i began posting it helped, and to receive the responses always helps...
I guess sometimes we simply have to walk alone... not in a bad way.. but anyway... God bless everyone... and a special mention to (((wishing star))) but really everyone on here is special..!!! ***** we had a full lunar eclipse here in the U.K last Night, and the sky was clear as a bell for it... it was a weird atmosphere... like a cleansing ******
scentedgarden
p.s. i still cant seem to get into chat do you think i could help it if i changed my posting name?plus can someone tell me please who new posting name 'I will survive' used to be? thnaks as i like to keep track...
KInd wishes
garden
Posted by scentedgarden on March 4, 2007, at 11:35:38
In reply to I'm sorry to everyone for not being around lately., posted by scentedgarden on March 4, 2007, at 11:12:52
she knew I was not coping well with the ending etc... and I had mentioned I was so hurt that I flet like complaining about being emotionally abused... I wasnt trying to threaten her or anyhting i only wanted to try to get the conversation round to seriously addressing the pain i was in, and hopefully she'd lighten up on me with the heavy load of boundary clamping down that she has done since the new year..anyway here's just a few quotes for you from my 4th last sesion ever that i will have wi th her... it toook place on 27 th Feb...( also like to state thAT i had sent her an email on 12 Feb explaining all the hurt i was experiencing and I spent hours and hours writing all through the night...
1) she says she never got the email..!
***so i was upset and burst out crying as i knew the session was mostly wasted as she and i wre unable to be on the same page as she hadnt read what id thought she had read... and i ahd prepared the session from that point of view..***
2) she asked me who she could complain to about my behaviour.. if I was going to complain about her's...
*** I was lost for words***
3) she kindly (Im being sarastic) told me that no oe else would put up with me...
*** what could i say??***
4) she said she is not hurting me... I am hurting myself..!!!
***so its all my fault...that ive been suicidal cos im emotionally F*CKED UP..GEE THATS REASSURING THEN***
5)she said i can pull out all the stops i want.. but she will not callme or write to me in between... saying I'm only looking for attention.
*** I said ur hurting me as you never were like thid before, and i dont deserve this sudden change*** But she wasnt having any of it!!!!
seems her memory is selective and seems to only recall or even make up things to suit herself...
BIG sigh)))) anyway.. i still love her and i dont wish to diss her to anyone... thats not what im doing... I was just reading the post from annie rose about feling hurt and angry, and i though here was a possible similarity...
scented garden
Posted by Dinah on March 4, 2007, at 11:51:50
In reply to Guess what my therapist 2me at my 4th last appt.?! » scentedgarden, posted by scentedgarden on March 4, 2007, at 11:35:38
I'm sorry. The things she said would make anyone feel hurt I think. And she's the therapist. It isn't fair of her to put her own feelings or behaviors in the same context as yours.
Overall, at this point and however helpful she has been to you in the past, I think you're best away from her. I think there comes a point in relationships where they just are more toxic than helpful. Even if just becomes that way on one side.
I can't recall if you've found another therapist, but if you haven't I really think you should. It really stinks to need therapy to recover from therapy, but sometimes it seems that therapy brings about that very condition.
I'm sorry you're hurting.
Posted by caraher on March 4, 2007, at 12:45:19
In reply to Guess what my therapist 2me at my 4th last appt.?! » scentedgarden, posted by scentedgarden on March 4, 2007, at 11:35:38
> 2) she asked me who she could complain to about my behaviour.. if I was going to complain about her's...
How unfair of her to say this, even as she's playing the client/therapist boundaries card! If she wants to treat you as an equal, forgetting the customary boundaries, then you're the one she should complain to, and vice versa. But if she's the therapist and you're the client, she is the professional and is therefore the sole party in this relationship held accountable for maintaining professional standards.
> 3) she kindly (Im being sarastic) told me that no oe else would put up with me...Nice.
If that's the kind of session you can expect from her, perhaps this should be the last session?
I know you love her and don't want us to think ill of her, but it seems like she is incapable of refraining from bitter remarks that are unlikely to bring your relationship to a healthy end.
(((((sg))))
Posted by scentedgarden on March 5, 2007, at 10:43:10
In reply to Re: Guess what my therapist 2me at my 4th last app, posted by caraher on March 4, 2007, at 12:45:19
i just feel very very sad... that you think after 4 yrs that there's no way to salvage this...
I have to do whats best for me...
i know her... and i cant write everything on here...about what she said... I just wanted to share, but i guess now i feel even sadder from reading your comments... about going to more therapy for this therapy... sorry Dinah "no disrespect... but i dont really think thats going to happen" not for me...
Does no one here understand that this woman has been a God send to my life.. ? and is she not sallowed to make a few mistakes..? she over stepped boundaries but only becasue she was drawn by my charm.. and my soul... and she felt she could trust me...
Oh heck i dont know..!!!!!!!!!!!!
now you'll all be down on me for not realising the professionalism and all that jazz...
like a sid i wish i had'nt posted..!!
i just thought you guys would understand...
plus i only have 3 sessions left... sdo you seriously think im going to let them slip away and not come out on top.. do you seriously think im not going to pray and try my best to meet her half way..? I mean come on , i was neve the easiest client in the world lets face it, i gave her a hard time... and i did things that no other client eer dremed of doing to her " her words"... so plz...id just like some comfort maybe... as you all know the lump in the throat nad the elephant on the chest feeling... the i cant be bothered doing anyhting and i dont know why... all that and more, just a deep/shallow level gut eating ... pissed offness.. or annoyance, or nausea..!! sorry for rammbling..!with all the resepct in the world to Dinah and Caraher...!!! God bless you for replying in the first place that always means alot...
take care of yourselves everyone... as at the end of the day who else will..if you dont..? at least that thats what am learning...***
p.s. hope wishing star does get someone to look after her though as it sure sounds like she could use a very good freind right now to stand up for her..!!! GOD BLESS YOU -SG
Posted by one woman cine on March 5, 2007, at 11:20:21
In reply to just wish id not posted what said as i feel sadder, posted by scentedgarden on March 5, 2007, at 10:43:10
>>>> she over stepped boundaries but only becasue she was drawn by my charm.. and my soul... and she felt she could trust me...
She stepped over the boundaries because she stepped over the boundaries - it has nothing to do with your soul or your charm - it's her problem - has nothing to do with you.
I am sorry your hurting but don't take on her responsibility - just take on your responsibility.
> like a sid i wish i had'nt posted..!!
Talking about can help, but maybe you should take a break from all this and not stress yourself out more.
> plus i only have 3 sessions left... sdo you seriously think im going to let them slip away and not come out on top.. do you seriously think im not going to pray and try my best to meet her half way..?I'm not sure what you mean by half-way. You are terminating and that's it - there's no relationship after that. No matter how well you end it or don't end it. I'm not sure if that's what you meant though.
>>>>I mean come on , i was neve the easiest client in the world lets face it, i gave her a hard time... and i did things that no other client
It's her job to deal with clients, easy or hard. You don't have to apologize for what you bring into the room. If she couldn't handle you "because you were too much" she could've referred you on.
>>>> take care of yourselves everyone... as at the end of the day who else will..if you dont..? at least that thats what am learning...***taking care of yourself is a very good thing :))
Take care of you.
be gentle, go easy.
Posted by JoniS on March 5, 2007, at 14:36:10
In reply to just wish id not posted what said as i feel sadder, posted by scentedgarden on March 5, 2007, at 10:43:10
SG
I am glad that you posted but sorry that you don't feel better. In my opinion your T was way off base to say what she did, and hopefully she realizes this. I totally understand that what you want at this point is comfort. I hope that you communicate that to her and I hope that you get it. :)
Joni
Posted by Dinah on March 6, 2007, at 13:29:16
In reply to just wish id not posted what said as i feel sadder, posted by scentedgarden on March 5, 2007, at 10:43:10
I'm sorry that what I said wasn't helpful, and I understand feeling protective of her.
Please know that I wasn't in any way trying to negate all the good things she did over the years or all the good things she has been and all the good things she still is.
I always say that if my therapist ever unilaterally terminates me that all those good things will be gone, but to tell the truth, I doubt that's possible. A relationship is made up of all its parts, and I hope you're able to hold on inside to the good parts.
Posted by Iwillsurvive on March 6, 2007, at 23:19:17
In reply to I'm sorry to everyone for not being around lately., posted by scentedgarden on March 4, 2007, at 11:12:52
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.