![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by muffled on September 20, 2006, at 22:12:56
There seems to be alot of that going around...irregardless of what our lives have been perhaps....
Worthlessness
Leperousness
Shedding our badness
That we bad or evil
That we tainted or disgusting
That we are not worthy of anything
That we are stupid
That we are less than human.
I say we only in that these are all things that I have said bout myself but have notices others saying too.
Well, I STARTING to understand, well maybe logically I am understanding that I am not these things. And sometimes I really start to beleive it.
Then I go flying back to ther familiar 'I am a piece of sh*t', 'I shouldn't expect...', WHY does my T stick with me, why hasn't she dumped me yet?' etc etc.
I read others posts like this and I want to scream to the poster 'YOU ARE WORTHY, YOU ARE NOT DEFECTIVE", cuz I KNOW they are not.
Why in the world is it SO hard to beleive that in our own selves...
:-(
Posted by sleepygirl on September 20, 2006, at 22:41:19
In reply to Defective..., posted by muffled on September 20, 2006, at 22:12:56
I don't know why muffled....but I find for myself that it can actually be scary to realize that I am not some of these things
if I figure out why I'll let you know,
something maybe about trust?
some thoughts....if we let something like that in (that not being horrible thing), can we trust it? or will we be horribly disappointed again?
can our world make any sense if we are not these things? I dunno...it's a problem
take good care of yourself
love,
sg
Posted by ClearSkies on September 20, 2006, at 22:58:46
In reply to Defective..., posted by muffled on September 20, 2006, at 22:12:56
Muffy, have you ever tried using a mantra? A positive simple phrase that you repeat to yourself over and over and over. Silently, out loud, out even louder. It helps me.
CS
Posted by Declan on September 21, 2006, at 1:45:35
In reply to Defective..., posted by muffled on September 20, 2006, at 22:12:56
If we could just stop thinking (about ourselves) it might help. Most of what I think about myself is like what I'm going to say right now, which is that it's useless or worse. Maybe I need to go on one of those long silent retreats?
Posted by pegasus on September 21, 2006, at 9:59:03
In reply to Defective..., posted by muffled on September 20, 2006, at 22:12:56
You are right. I can see it for other people, but not for myself. But then . . . people always say that to love others you have to love yourself first. And I think, uh oh. Cause I really don't love myself. I'm such a pain in my own *ss. But it sure seems like I love some others. So I don't get that.
For me, I think part of it is the ridiculing way my parents raised me, so that any time I started to think there was something good about me, they'd make fun of me, and put me in my place. I was taught that it's *not ok* to say (think?) anything good about myself. It was all about being super humble, which I think they thought meant always putting self down. It's screwed up and I'm teaching my daughter differently. She'll probably end up being really spoiled and arrogant. LOL.
p
Posted by muffled on September 21, 2006, at 16:01:01
In reply to Re: Defective... » muffled, posted by sleepygirl on September 20, 2006, at 22:41:19
> I don't know why muffled....but I find for myself that it can actually be scary to realize that I am not some of these things
> if I figure out why I'll let you know,
> something maybe about trust?
> some thoughts....if we let something like that in (that not being horrible thing), can we trust it? or will we be horribly disappointed again?
> can our world make any sense if we are not these things? I dunno...it's a problem
> take good care of yourself
> love,
> sg
>
***Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Very interesting. You have given me food for thot, and therapy LOL.
Thanks Sleepy
Muffled
Posted by muffled on September 21, 2006, at 16:03:10
In reply to Re: Defective... » muffled, posted by ClearSkies on September 20, 2006, at 22:58:46
> Muffy, have you ever tried using a mantra? A positive simple phrase that you repeat to yourself over and over and over. Silently, out loud, out even louder. It helps me.
>
> CSI don't like anything to do with trances and stuff.
But sometimes I say to myself over and over, its ok, its ok.....so mebbe thats like a mantra.
Thanks CS.
Muffled
Posted by muffled on September 21, 2006, at 16:04:10
In reply to Re: Defective... » muffled, posted by Declan on September 21, 2006, at 1:45:35
Posted by muffled on September 21, 2006, at 16:08:31
In reply to Re: Defective... » muffled, posted by pegasus on September 21, 2006, at 9:59:03
> You are right. I can see it for other people, but not for myself. But then . . . people always say that to love others you have to love yourself first. And I think, uh oh. Cause I really don't love myself. I'm such a pain in my own *ss. But it sure seems like I love some others. So I don't get that.
***Ya, I learning to love myself such as I am....
>
> For me, I think part of it is the ridiculing way my parents raised me, so that any time I started to think there was something good about me, they'd make fun of me, and put me in my place. I was taught that it's *not ok* to say (think?) anything good about myself. It was all about being super humble, which I think they thought meant always putting self down. It's screwed up and I'm teaching my daughter differently. She'll probably end up being really spoiled and arrogant. LOL.***I'm sorry Peg. Parents don't realize how much they hurt us. I hope I not hurting my irl kids :-(
Sometimes it just tears my heart out to think I've hurt them somehow....
Ya, my kids are kinda spoiled.
But I love them so much.
Thats why I want to be well, so I can be the best mom I can be.
Laughter is such a huge gift. HUGE.
Thanks Peg,
Muffled
Posted by ClearSkies on September 22, 2006, at 17:53:18
In reply to Re: Defective... » ClearSkies, posted by muffled on September 21, 2006, at 16:03:10
> I don't like anything to do with trances and stuff.
> But sometimes I say to myself over and over, its ok, its ok.....so mebbe thats like a mantra.
> Thanks CS.
> Muffled
That's exactly what a mantra is. It something that you repeat to yourself.
Posted by littleone on September 23, 2006, at 18:27:35
In reply to Defective..., posted by muffled on September 20, 2006, at 22:12:56
> Why in the world is it SO hard to beleive that in our own selves...
> :-(Maybe because we are the only ones who truly see our real selves. We are the only ones privvy to our inner thoughts.
I think that's why therapy is so healing. Another person gets to see the very real deep you and still accepts you and believes you're okay. And not *just* okay, but can point out wonderful things in you and accept all of you, not just the good parts.
Until that happens, we are our only real judge and we are a very harsh judge.
I always think I'm defective and broken inside. The part in me that cares about other people and is interested in other people just doesn't work at all. Like a TV with a broken picture tube. And no one bothers trying to fix a really broken TV. You buy a new one. Throw out the old one. It seems ridiculous to try to fix me when I'm so broken.
It always astonishes me that my T thinks I'm worth fixing. And that I can be fixed.
Learning about my parts has made me feel even more broken. Like I'm actually broken into pieces inside.
Posted by muffled on September 24, 2006, at 18:10:48
In reply to Not: Defective..., posted by ClearSkies on September 22, 2006, at 17:53:18
>
> > I don't like anything to do with trances and stuff.
> > But sometimes I say to myself over and over, its ok, its ok.....so mebbe thats like a mantra.
> > Thanks CS.
> > Muffled
>
>
> That's exactly what a mantra is. It something that you repeat to yourself.
>
>
HA! Thanks CS!
Posted by muffled on September 24, 2006, at 18:13:13
In reply to Re: Defective... » muffled, posted by littleone on September 23, 2006, at 18:27:35
> > Why in the world is it SO hard to beleive that in our own selves...
> > :-(
>
> Maybe because we are the only ones who truly see our real selves. We are the only ones privvy to our inner thoughts.
>
> I think that's why therapy is so healing. Another person gets to see the very real deep you and still accepts you and believes you're okay. And not *just* okay, but can point out wonderful things in you and accept all of you, not just the good parts.***Hope fully thats what happens...
>
> Until that happens, we are our only real judge and we are a very harsh judge.
>
> I always think I'm defective and broken inside. The part in me that cares about other people and is interested in other people just doesn't work at all. Like a TV with a broken picture tube. And no one bothers trying to fix a really broken TV. You buy a new one. Throw out the old one. It seems ridiculous to try to fix me when I'm so broken.
>
> It always astonishes me that my T thinks I'm worth fixing. And that I can be fixed.
>
> Learning about my parts has made me feel even more broken. Like I'm actually broken into pieces inside.***I don't mind my parts. We mostly get along.
At least I don't feel so alone in my craziness....
Thanks Littleone
Muffled
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.