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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on August 29, 2006, at 21:13:11
I was doing fine with the anniversary. And then I went to therapy.
My therapist asked me in a very significant way how I was feeling. I was nonplussed, but answered the usual fine and how was he doing. When he told me he had anniversary depression, it took me a minute to figure out what he meant as I ran my mind over his birthday and the date he was married. Then ohhhhh.
Stupid. My husband and I woke up and 5am to find the local channel rerunning news announcements of the evacuation, and thought for an instant that Ernesto had turned before realizing. Then we turned off the TV.
But when my therapist started talking about all the things he had seen on TV, I started getting depressed. We talked about the things that upset me most. The first few days after the storm when all the reports of rampant violence were being broadcast as we huddled in the safety of our hotel room around the TV. And how I couldn't believe that these were my neighbors, and how could I ever go home. Then the backpedalling and reports that things weren't as dire as described. My therapist helpfully informed me that he had talked to first responders who told him things were even worse than described. Thanks, therapist.
So I switched the topic to the wonderful heroes that were also my neighbors, and the things that people had done to help one another. Like the people at the shelter where my inlaws ended up, unprepared for a shelter, who lent them supplies and comforted them. What angels there were out there.
Still, as I told my therapist, I really wasn't depressed about the anniversary until I saw you.
Maybe it's not altogether a bad thing. Maybe it's healthier to grieve than to avoid. But I don't know. Avoidance works pretty well really.
Or maybe this is just what happens when you share something bad.
Posted by Fallsfall on August 29, 2006, at 23:14:21
In reply to My therapist depressed me, posted by Dinah on August 29, 2006, at 21:13:11
I like it better when you tell me about therapy sessions that are about you - and not about him. I don't think you are avoiding - I think you are going on.
(((Dinah)))
Posted by Jost on August 29, 2006, at 23:45:58
In reply to Re: My therapist depressed me » Dinah, posted by Fallsfall on August 29, 2006, at 23:14:21
Sorry today was a bad day, Dinah.
Avoidance is not a bad thing, unless the feeling or experience you're avoiding pops up later, when you're not with someone you can talk to and you feel alone with it.
Maybe your T thought, rightly or wrongly, that you might stumble onto the feeling later, when he wouldn't be there for you?Re-awakening painful memories tends to be overrated. The elaboration of tragedies and losses is also damaging, which isn't part of the philosophy of the moment.
I wish your news station hadn't been replaying that. No one needs to hear it again, IMHO.
Anyway, I hope you'll sleep well tonight, and wake up to a beautiful day tomorrow, and these thought will have lost their immediacy.
Jost
Posted by Daisym on August 30, 2006, at 1:21:38
In reply to My therapist depressed me, posted by Dinah on August 29, 2006, at 21:13:11
I've actually been thinking about you all day today, for the anniversary reason. I believe it is a place for people, including your therapist, to connect around and over. Sort of like, "where were you when JFK was shot?" It is clear that this is an event that looms large in your relationship together.
And look how far you've come...
While I believe there is much to mourn, you have walked on - and worked hard to put your life back together and figure out how to do therapy together as well. You should be proud of yourself.
I hope things stay peaceful and you can avoid all big winds this year.
hugs from me,
Daisy
Posted by happyflower on September 2, 2006, at 14:45:04
In reply to My therapist depressed me, posted by Dinah on August 29, 2006, at 21:13:11
You know even though he is suppose to put himself aside and have the session be about only you, I just don't think in any kind of relationship even a professional one , that it can happen all the time.
In a way I think it is good he told you because he knows you will know something is up with him. It really shows that the flood really did affect him BIG time when it happenend especially since it is still is bothering him now. I guess there is just some things they can't hide but I am sorry it made you feel bad. Do you think you are surpressing your feelings about it?
Posted by Dinah on September 2, 2006, at 22:15:41
In reply to Re: My therapist depressed me, posted by happyflower on September 2, 2006, at 14:45:04
I think I try very hard to forget things that aren't pleasant. I also think that he probably has less chance to do that since I imagine lots of his clients right now are dealing with problems directly related to Katrina.
It was probably his standard opener with all his clients to ask about it on the anniversary. Anniversaries mean a lot to some people. They don't really to me. Not good or bad ones.
I think to some extent I don't feel like I have too much right to have any trauma related to Katrina. I didn't lose my house or my job.
Our month of living in a hotel room, the loss of my husband's remaining family indirectly from the stress, the months of uncertainty about a relationship vitally important to me, the troubles past and present with my mother's house...
I guess those are things to mourn or to feel angry about, but I just feel so much survivor's guilt. I only seem to be able to *feel* Katrina when I drive through the hard hit areas.
So to some extent, I'm probably suppressing things. But for good reason. I really was very fortunate.
This is the end of the thread.
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