Posted by Dinah on August 29, 2006, at 21:13:11
I was doing fine with the anniversary. And then I went to therapy.
My therapist asked me in a very significant way how I was feeling. I was nonplussed, but answered the usual fine and how was he doing. When he told me he had anniversary depression, it took me a minute to figure out what he meant as I ran my mind over his birthday and the date he was married. Then ohhhhh.
Stupid. My husband and I woke up and 5am to find the local channel rerunning news announcements of the evacuation, and thought for an instant that Ernesto had turned before realizing. Then we turned off the TV.
But when my therapist started talking about all the things he had seen on TV, I started getting depressed. We talked about the things that upset me most. The first few days after the storm when all the reports of rampant violence were being broadcast as we huddled in the safety of our hotel room around the TV. And how I couldn't believe that these were my neighbors, and how could I ever go home. Then the backpedalling and reports that things weren't as dire as described. My therapist helpfully informed me that he had talked to first responders who told him things were even worse than described. Thanks, therapist.
So I switched the topic to the wonderful heroes that were also my neighbors, and the things that people had done to help one another. Like the people at the shelter where my inlaws ended up, unprepared for a shelter, who lent them supplies and comforted them. What angels there were out there.
Still, as I told my therapist, I really wasn't depressed about the anniversary until I saw you.
Maybe it's not altogether a bad thing. Maybe it's healthier to grieve than to avoid. But I don't know. Avoidance works pretty well really.
Or maybe this is just what happens when you share something bad.
poster:Dinah
thread:681305
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060826/msgs/681305.html