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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by happyflower on August 28, 2006, at 18:03:50
Okay, I really didn't need this,more crap to deal with, but the question is should I face my fear of singing in public or not.
I signed up for this creativity class that is required for all degrees at my college, it can be concentrated in either ballet, art, music, etc.. Well I choose music since I have a big past in it and I am a musican.
Well what I didn't know was there will be singing involved. YIKES! I tested out of all my music theroy classes in college so I got away from the singing part in music school. I don't know why I am scared to sign out loud, but I am , only my kids have heard me (when they were very little), not even my DH has heard me sing. I just tense up around inging events. I know the class should be an easy A for me except for this one aspect. Should I just face my fear and grin and bear it, should I inform the instuctor?
We had to fill out this form about our music experience and it did ask us if we sing at all or even to ourselves. Well I said I don't ever sing. I wonder if the instructor would have an idea why. It is really embarrasing to me.
If I had my trumpet, it would be NO problem preforming, but singing ,or giving a speech well singing out loud freaks me out. Remember Alfalfa from the Little Rascles? What is kinda of funny is my pysch teacher from this summer has the same phobia too. LOL What should I do? I have never even told my T about this because I was just willing to live with it for the reast of my life. Any suggestions would be so helpful to me. Thanks! Offkeyhappyflower
Posted by Tamar on August 28, 2006, at 18:28:18
In reply to Overcoming phobias, past it bitting me in the butt, posted by happyflower on August 28, 2006, at 18:03:50
Gosh, it's a strange phobia for a musician to have, isn't it? Or maybe it's common... I don't know! Do you know why you are so afraid of singing in public? Are you afraid of forgetting the words or the melody, or of singing flat, or being seen singing, or something else?
I do think you should talk about it to the instructor, since it's obviously something that you need some kind of help with. And talking about it in therapy might help too.
Most people I know are a bit shy about singing in public, but it sounds like a lot more that than with you. A fairly obvious suggestion is to start practising singing to yourself (maybe in the shower so the sound of the water running covers your voice). Since you like music, there must be songs you like, right?
Posted by happyflower on August 28, 2006, at 18:49:44
In reply to Re: Overcoming phobias, past it bitting me in the butt » happyflower, posted by Tamar on August 28, 2006, at 18:28:18
Yeah, I LOVE music, but singing out loud freaks me out, even other people singing around me makes me feel uncomfortable. I can't even sing happybirthday . I hate going to concerts where they have the audience sings like X-mas carols and stuff.
I don't know what caused this fear, but I have had it for as long as I can remember (like grade school)
I hate to single me out to the instructor, he he kinds knows me too as a musican, so there is intense embarrestment even admitting it to him. I wouldn't even come close to signing up for this class if I knew there would be singing in it. LOL
Maybe it would give me some self confidence if I could grin and bear it anyways. We had to fill out these info forms about ourselves and it asked how much we sing. I said NEVER. LOL Do you think he might guess from my answer? Man, I signed up for this required class (even though I could pick another "art"), I thought it would be an easy A. I wasn't expecting it to be the biggest challenge of my life. Yikes. I just don't know what to do.
Posted by Tamar on August 28, 2006, at 19:21:12
In reply to Re: Overcoming phobias, past it bitting me in the butt » Tamar, posted by happyflower on August 28, 2006, at 18:49:44
> Yeah, I LOVE music, but singing out loud freaks me out, even other people singing around me makes me feel uncomfortable. I can't even sing happybirthday . I hate going to concerts where they have the audience sings like X-mas carols and stuff.
Hmmm… Not being able to sing Happy Birthday is a pretty serious sign, especially in someone who has kids!
> I don't know what caused this fear, but I have had it for as long as I can remember (like grade school)
The cause might have nothing to do with singing, of course. And maybe it’s not as significant as dealing with the fact that this phobia exists.
> I hate to single me out to the instructor, he he kinds knows me too as a musican, so there is intense embarrestment even admitting it to him. I wouldn't even come close to signing up for this class if I knew there would be singing in it. LOL
Well, I can imagine it’s embarrassing. There’s something a bit embarrassing about most phobias. Hey, I’m scared that slugs will attack me, and jump on me and bite me; that’s pretty embarrassing. But I’d bet that your instructor will have heard it before. Lots of people hate singing in public. Your case is more severe than most, I think, but I doubt it’s incurable!
> Maybe it would give me some self confidence if I could grin and bear it anyways. We had to fill out these info forms about ourselves and it asked how much we sing. I said NEVER. LOL Do you think he might guess from my answer? Man, I signed up for this required class (even though I could pick another "art"), I thought it would be an easy A. I wasn't expecting it to be the biggest challenge of my life. Yikes. I just don't know what to do.
I think that facing it is the best way forward. Mind you, it’s easy for me to sit here and say that, when there are no slugs in the vicinity putting on their bibs, brandishing their cutlery and licking their little slug lips…
Maybe you’re not ready for singing in the shower… Maybe you could start by singing along to some of your favourite songs on a CD. What do you think?
Posted by happyflower on August 28, 2006, at 19:28:24
In reply to Re: Overcoming phobias, past it bitting me in the butt » happyflower, posted by Tamar on August 28, 2006, at 19:21:12
I don't know Tamar, it is crazy, isn't it. I undertand the thing about those nasy slugs, they freak me out too, I don't know what is worse slugs or singing out loud. or singing slugs, not that is freaky.
Maybe it won't be as bad as I think, I can still go for a few classes before withdrawling. This is nuts kinda like a professional swimmer afraid of the water . Why me , why me? LOL
Posted by Tamar on August 28, 2006, at 19:37:17
In reply to Re: Overcoming phobias, past it bitting me in the butt » Tamar, posted by happyflower on August 28, 2006, at 19:28:24
> I don't know Tamar, it is crazy, isn't it. I undertand the thing about those nasy slugs, they freak me out too, I don't know what is worse slugs or singing out loud. or singing slugs, not that is freaky.
ROFLMAO!
> Maybe it won't be as bad as I think, I can still go for a few classes before withdrawling. This is nuts kinda like a professional swimmer afraid of the water . Why me , why me? LOL
It's certainly unusual for a musician! But maybe this is your chance to change it. Good luck. I'd be very interested to know what works and what doesn't...
Posted by Emily Elizabeth on August 28, 2006, at 19:44:01
In reply to Overcoming phobias, past it bitting me in the butt, posted by happyflower on August 28, 2006, at 18:03:50
I think that it is perfectly understandable. Singing is sort of its own beast.
My vote is to switch to the art class. You have enough stress w/o trying to overcome something else!
Best,
EE
Posted by muffled on August 28, 2006, at 22:57:30
In reply to Re: Overcoming phobias, past it bitting me in the butt, posted by Emily Elizabeth on August 28, 2006, at 19:44:01
I don't sing either.
One time my T was trying to see if I knew this song and sang part of it.
Aaaaaaaaaaack.
I know why people don't sing.
Singing is VERY intimate.
When you sing you expose yourself so much.
Singing is a big hairy deal.
I think if you could do it , it'd be a good thing.
But if its too, too hard. Then I'd skip it.
Take care,
Muffy
Posted by ElaineM on August 29, 2006, at 9:03:01
In reply to Re: Overcoming phobias, past it bitting me in the butt, posted by muffled on August 28, 2006, at 22:57:30
HF: Singing is pretty scary -- your voice is so attached to emotions. If you're nervous, your throat will clench and strain, or you'll start breathing too shallow. It's probably easier to feel confident in playing -- no words, more reliable, easier to stay in tune. Alot of people don't like hearing the sound of their own voice, and singing often feels worse. When I was teaching kids, the first thing I had the shy ones do was get used to the volume of their own voice. I'd have them lie of their backs with their hands on their stomachs and just work on singing, full, supported "HA's!"
You're probably used to hearing the sound come from the bell of your trumpet, farther away from your body. The good thing is that because you're a musician you know you're not rhythm deaf, you can pitch (and can work on transfering the skill over to voice), and already breathe using your diaphram.
You should sing with your music up loud and slowly work on lowering the volume until you can sing without the backups :-) And also, find your range and scour the music libraries for songs that stay inside it -- you'll feel so much more confident that way.
Once you get used to it, singing a performance is so liberating -- I would get more nervous accompanying than when I was the performer. I would think that your instructor would be understanding -- fear of singing is very common. Because of that, most people are forgiving of other singers. Having your voice crack is just like when you kack your trumpet (I'm assuming it happens) -- you just keep right on going.
I would love for you to have a positive experience with it, but if you're not able to, then I agree with Emily -- maybe art class would be better. Photography is fun :-)
EL
Posted by Poet on August 29, 2006, at 9:13:47
In reply to Overcoming phobias, past it bitting me in the butt, posted by happyflower on August 28, 2006, at 18:03:50
Hi Happyflower,
I won't even sing happy birthday in a group. No way. It's not a phobia, it's called cannot carry a tune. My husband will verify this, he says pithy things like did I step on a cat's tail in the shower or was I singing again.
That said, can you let the class know you can't sing before you start? Announce to the class that *if you enjoy watching the people on American Idol who really stink you're in for a treat. You're about to hear why my musical talent is playing the trumpet.*
I took a visual communication class where we had to do all these presentations. For the first one I warned the class that what I created was pretty good, the way I present it won't be. This is why I'm a writer and not a speaker... They laughed (in the good way) and the instructor got the message that I am not comfortable in front of a class. BTW I still am not comfortable, even with all those presentations.
Poet
Posted by happyflower on September 2, 2006, at 14:54:29
In reply to Re: Overcoming phobias, past it bitting me in the butt, posted by Emily Elizabeth on August 28, 2006, at 19:44:01
Well after getting the schedule of tests, I noticed the class was mostly about music therapy for non music majors. Well I have had a ton of music theory being a past music major.
So I dropped the class because I don't want to pay big bucks for reviewing stuff I already know, so I am going to take the art one later. Plus I won't have to sing in an art class. LOL
Thanks everyone for your support and advice!
Posted by Poet on September 3, 2006, at 23:28:15
In reply to My decision, posted by happyflower on September 2, 2006, at 14:54:29
Hi Happyflower,
A very smart decision. No singing in art class. I can assure you that my sixth grade teacher would be about 90 if she's still around so she would not be your teacher!
Poet
Posted by happyflower on September 4, 2006, at 17:11:40
In reply to Re: My decision » happyflower, posted by Poet on September 3, 2006, at 23:28:15
I am glad! :-) I think the guy that teaches it, I had YEARS ago for art appreciation, has a long mustache that he curls up on the ends. LOL
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