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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by happyflower on August 25, 2006, at 18:18:11
I just came from the chiropractor and they did xrays of my neck. They found my neck has no curve, but is straight and is starting to curve the opposite way. I guess it is caused by sever blows to the head (like my child abuse) or professional football or dancing and now my neck has arthitics which is what causes my neck to be straight.
I am so upset because first I had to give up running for at least 3 weeks because I injured my shins, now I can't do yoga either until maybe after treatment. Which is 3X or more a week. I just need a hug, I need someone to just hold me . I need my T . :-( When will the sh*t in my life stop?
Posted by happyflower on August 25, 2006, at 18:19:54
In reply to I need my T right now (child abuse triggers), posted by happyflower on August 25, 2006, at 18:18:11
Plus I am told they can make it better short term but will progressively get worse.
Posted by muffled on August 25, 2006, at 21:04:36
In reply to Re: I need my T right now (child abuse triggers), posted by happyflower on August 25, 2006, at 18:19:54
> Plus I am told they can make it better short term but will progressively get worse.
***Can't remeember how old you was HF.
But once you hit 40, it all starts falling apart.
Its very hard to accept that your body doesn't do what you want when it pretty much has in the past.
I used to be freakishly strong. But then my back went. I got arthritis now. Sh*t like that.
(hey took 4 cops holding me, plus another one to get my shoes off, five total, to get the shoes off a 110lb, 5'1'' girl! LOL!!!!)
So sorry bout WHY your neck has trouble.(and I could rant bout that, but I don't think it wuld be helpful for you-but if you ever want me to, I'll say just what I think of your so called 'mother'. Even if it means getting blocked) But beleive me, if it weren't that it'd be something else.
Its the way of aging.
But its not all bad.
Dunno what I trying to say.
Just wish I could make some of your hurts hurt a little less.
Take care HF.
Sorry you hurting :-(
((((((((((Happyflower))))))))))))))))
Posted by happyflower on August 25, 2006, at 21:31:03
In reply to Re: I need my T right now (child abuse triggers) » happyflower, posted by muffled on August 25, 2006, at 21:04:36
Thanks Muffy,
I am only 37 and this happens to a lot of people as they age but when it happens this young, they belive it has something to do with a injury from long time ago, (like what my mother did to me). It is bad enough I have to deal with the emotional memories but now physical reminders that my mother beat the crap out of me. It just really sucks because I thought when I heal the inner parts of me, I will be okay. But now I have a physical injury that will just get worse the older I get and eventally be crippled all because of what my mom did. I am so angry, I don't think I have been this angry in a very long time. It is too much. I just want to hide away and never come out. I feel like giving up. life just sucks. period. Now I will suffer physically for the rest of my life, that sucks. I wish I was never born. Yeah, I saved my dad from being sent to Vietnam, but look at the cost of that is, me being alive.
Posted by happyflower on August 25, 2006, at 21:35:26
In reply to Re: I need my T right now (child abuse triggers) » happyflower, posted by muffled on August 25, 2006, at 21:04:36
Hey, Muffy,
Thanks for the hugs and support and please don't get blocked because of my mother, that would just make me feel worse, okay. I like you around here.
Posted by happyflower on August 25, 2006, at 21:40:42
In reply to Re: I need my T right now (child abuse triggers), posted by happyflower on August 25, 2006, at 21:31:03
I wondered how I seemed to be unharmed when my brother has brain damage caused by her and me nothing physically, or so I thought. Child abuse is so wrong, what is wrong with parents? Now my own kids will have suffer having to help their disabled mother. It isn't fair to them, I don't want to be a burden to them. I just want it all to go away. I am so sick of trying and trying to survive and then sh*t keeps coming and coming.
Posted by LittleGirlLost on August 25, 2006, at 22:19:58
In reply to I need my T right now (child abuse triggers), posted by happyflower on August 25, 2006, at 18:18:11
> I just came from the chiropractor and they did xrays of my neck. They found my neck has no curve, but is straight and is starting to curve the opposite way. I guess it is caused by sever blows to the head (like my child abuse) or professional football or dancing and now my neck has arthitics which is what causes my neck to be straight.
((((HappyFlower)))) I haven't posted in forever, but was intrigued when I read this. I, too, went to a chiropractor recently and had xrays of my neck. My xrays showed the same thing... I have no curve... He also said something about arthritis and degeneration, then I kinda freaked out thinking I was too young for this!! He didn't say anything about abuse, but asked if I have ever been in a car accident or anything (which I haven't).
I'm not sure if I'm trying to calm you, or I just got alarmed about myself. I think both! Is it possible that this neck trauma wasn't caused by abuse? I hate to see you beating yourself up over this, but I also wonder if it's something that can just develop (like with posture and whatnot). I thought maybe sharing my similarity might help you. Either way, I know it's scary!
Hang in there!
~LGL
Posted by muffled on August 26, 2006, at 0:41:01
In reply to Re: I need my T right now (child abuse triggers), posted by happyflower on August 25, 2006, at 21:31:03
> Thanks Muffy,
>
> I am only 37 and this happens to a lot of people as they age but when it happens this young, they belive it has something to do with a injury from long time ago, (like what my mother did to me). It is bad enough I have to deal with the emotional memories but now physical reminders that my mother beat the crap out of me. It just really sucks because I thought when I heal the inner parts of me, I will be okay.***Well, at the risk of being REALLY annoying. Your the same person (wonderful, special one) you were before you found out. You will be ok. You will cope.
But now I have a physical injury that will just get worse the older I get and eventally be crippled all because of what my mom did.
***you may or may not be crippled too badly. Thats not absolute. there are medical advances everyday.
Lotsa people are crippled up for alot of reasons. However...I am so angry, I don't think I have been this angry in a very long time.
***I utterly understand why your angery.
I am so angry at this woman. I feel nautious with rage. I cannot even begin to understand the depth of your anger.
It is too much. I just want to hide away and never come out. I feel like giving up. life just sucks. period.***HF will prevail. Don't let that bitch from hell win.
Now I will suffer physically for the rest of my life, that sucks. I wish I was never born.
**Well. I'm glad you were born. I bet there's lotsa people that are glad you were born.
Yeah, I saved my dad from being sent to Vietnam, but look at the cost of that is, me being alive.
***How did you save your dad from being sent to Vietnam?
You don't have to answer if you don't want to.I'm so so sorry that your in such a dark place right now.
I wish I could somehow make it all gone. That all the bad stuff would never have happened. At least not so bad anyways. I wish I could suck the pain from your body and soul. I wish I could help you so bad.
All muffy can do, cuz I kinda useless.
Is I sit beside you HF.
We both sit.
We sit and wonder.
You can cry if you want. I don't mind.
You can scream and rage if you want, I won't get scared.
Cuz you my friend, and you ok.
You ok , you hear me.
I like you and I sit beside you, and the anger can flow and then run into the earth.
We can take big cleansing breaths.
Suck in good air.
Cuz air is good.
Blue sky so pretty is good.
Hugs are good.
Music is good.
Friends are good.
A good burp feels mighty good too.
So does ice cream.
Soft cat fur and purrs are good.
And dog slurps.
And fluffy clouds.
Yep, they good too.
And the smell of popcorn.
And the warmth of sun on my skin.
Sigh.
I wish I was smarter somehow.
Sorry if I stupid.
Bye.
Muffly
Posted by llrrrpp on August 26, 2006, at 17:00:53
In reply to Re: I need my T right now (child abuse triggers) » happyflower, posted by muffled on August 26, 2006, at 0:41:01
Happyflower,
I'm sorry that your neck is not well shaped. I think that you can probably learn to live with it though. Don't let it get you too down.Here are some gentle hugs for you. I hope that you can take some comfort in the fact that you got this diagnosed early, and that you are active and committed to physical fitness. This is really important in case some exercises or physical therapy is prescribed to you.
((((((((happyflower)))))))))
Happy, I saw some gorgeous flowers today. Probably some kind of zinnias or something. Bright jewel tones, growing all crazy- all the colors mixed in with eachother, literally pouring out of the flowerbed. They were some happyflowers. And I guarantee you- their necks were not well-formed either. But they are still beautiful and happy.
love,
ll
Posted by happyflower on August 28, 2006, at 4:11:08
In reply to Re: I need my T right now (child abuse triggers) » happyflower, posted by LittleGirlLost on August 25, 2006, at 22:19:58
Thanks Littlegirl,
It IS scary, isn't it, I am also too young for this. It has freaked me out, but I am feeling a little better, but still am frightened.
In my questionaire that I had to fill out it asked about any trama in my life, and I mentioned about the child abuse. This is were the chiro. wondered if it might have something to do with it since I am so young. Sometimes it has to do with an old injury that wasn't treated. I have other physical scars too that remind me of the abuse, but this feels worse to me. I am worried about my quality of life.
Well I guess you know all of this. So what is the doc going to do for your treatment? The ironic thing is that I also hated getting my neck adjusted, and now look what I am in for.She told me to purchase a moist heating pad, and have ice on hand, that we will be doing some intense physical therapy. She is into alternative medicine too like accupuncture. But she told me she needed to get more xrays on my next visit. I hope she can help me. Thanks little girl for you support.
Posted by happyflower on August 28, 2006, at 4:19:10
In reply to Re: I need my T right now (child abuse triggers) » happyflower, posted by muffled on August 26, 2006, at 0:41:01
>> ***How did you save your dad from being sent to Vietnam?
I overheard my parents talking when I was a child that is why I was conceived to prevent my dad from going to vietnam. This is what my first EMDR memory I was focusing on, and then after EMDR, A LOT of memories can flooding into me. Horrible stuff that I have surpressed. So all my childhood, I felt like I was used, that I really wasn't wanted.
But my T said I was "wanted" even if it was for the wrong reasons, unlike him who was a "surprise" to his parents.Thank you soooo much for what you have written below, it really brought tears to my eyes, actually it make me cry my eyes out. You are so sweet, you really are. You are an amazing person Muffy, I can see that.
I'm so so sorry that your in such a dark place right now.
> All muffy can do, cuz I kinda useless.
> Is I sit beside you HF.
> We both sit.
> We sit and wonder.
> You can cry if you want. I don't mind.
> You can scream and rage if you want, I won't get scared.
> Cuz you my friend, and you ok.
> You ok , you hear me.
> I like you and I sit beside you, and the anger can flow and then run into the earth.
> We can take big cleansing breaths.
> Suck in good air.
> Cuz air is good.
> Blue sky so pretty is good.
> Hugs are good.
> Music is good.
> Friends are good.
> A good burp feels mighty good too.
> So does ice cream.
> Soft cat fur and purrs are good.
> And dog slurps.
> And fluffy clouds.
> Yep, they good too.
> And the smell of popcorn.
> And the warmth of sun on my skin.
> Sigh.
> I wish I was smarter somehow.
> Sorry if I stupid.
> Bye.
> Muffly
>
>
Posted by happyflower on August 28, 2006, at 4:20:38
In reply to Re: I need my T right now (child abuse triggers), posted by llrrrpp on August 26, 2006, at 17:00:53
>> Happy, I saw some gorgeous flowers today. Probably some kind of zinnias or something. Bright jewel tones, growing all crazy- all the colors mixed in with eachother, literally pouring out of the flowerbed. They were some happyflowers. And I guarantee you- their necks were not well-formed either. But they are still beautiful and happy.
Thank you so much, this was so nice of you, it made me smile through the tears. You are wonderful, truely.
Posted by happyflower on August 28, 2006, at 4:25:43
In reply to Re: I need my T right now (child abuse triggers), posted by happyflower on August 28, 2006, at 4:20:38
Posted by curtm on August 28, 2006, at 11:37:49
In reply to I need my T right now (child abuse triggers), posted by happyflower on August 25, 2006, at 18:18:11
(It's supposed to be a flower)
............000
........00***00
........00***00
............000
......00...00
........00000...000
...............0000
...............00
.................00
Posted by happyflower on August 28, 2006, at 12:10:33
In reply to HUG FOR HAPPYFLOWER » happyflower, posted by curtm on August 28, 2006, at 11:37:49
Thanks sweetie! ;-)
Posted by muffled on August 28, 2006, at 23:03:49
In reply to Re: I need my T right now (child abuse triggers) » muffled, posted by happyflower on August 25, 2006, at 21:35:26
This is the end of the thread.
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