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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by happyflower on April 5, 2006, at 20:15:31
Well I told him everything about how I am feeling. He made it so easy for me, he was so understanding and so kind. I guess all of us has issues of one kind of another, even T's, even people who seem to have it all together, so I am not alone.
I told him I don't ever talk about my innermost feelings and he said well that is what he is there for. I said I was trying. But he knows I am having a hard time with my marriage and it is triggering feelings from my past. He said all the good stuff I am doing, won't cover up the void I am feeling about my marriage. It is too big of a hole to fill up.
I feel really good to confide in him, I wasn't pulling the wool over his eyes.. I guess it just seemed like he didn't know how bad I felt because I would say something like nobody has ever loved me or nobody really cares about me, and he would correct my black and white thinking on this. But he still understood how I felt.
We talked a lot about all kinds of stuff, joked around about stuff, and he generally made me feel like I am okay. I asked him what he thought of me. He said I am in a very sad situation with my marriage, I am doing good with the social stuff, music stuff, and exercising stuff, but what he still needs to work on with me is my blanket thinking especially when it comes to myself. He said he thinks it is due to not having enough self convidence in myself.
So now this is making me think now on what I say to myself and think is due to low self esteem. Now I feel like I have to watch what I say and how I say it.So I got out my feelings, asked him what he thought of me, and asked more about boundry issues when we see each other at the gym. So I guess I got a lot done today. He even put his hand on my back for a second as I was leaving when he said goodbye. I feel so much better tonight. He was so kind and gentle I didn't even fall apart, I felt safe, he was great with me. :-)
Posted by annierose on April 5, 2006, at 20:20:56
In reply to Well I did it, oh, my!, posted by happyflower on April 5, 2006, at 20:15:31
You did good happyflower. I'm glad you were able to share all those feelings with him, and he received them well, and was able to comfort you.
It does feel good to be heard.
>>> Now I feel like I have to watch what I say and how I say it.<<<
Can you explain further what you meant by that? Are you talking about in therapy? or in life?
Posted by wishingstar on April 5, 2006, at 20:29:58
In reply to Well I did it, oh, my!, posted by happyflower on April 5, 2006, at 20:15:31
Wow, happyflower, you are so brave! That's great that you were able to do that today. It sounds like you've taken a couple huge steps in the last few sessions.. and he's reacted well! that makes it even better. I hope you're proud of yourself.. you should be.
It's amazing how good it can feel when our Ts just touch our shoulder or brush against us like that. In normal life, I'd probably never notice if someone did, but with my T, it totally would make my day. So far, she hasnt done it yet, but I'm holding out hope.. :)
Congrats on today!
Posted by happyflower on April 6, 2006, at 9:49:47
In reply to Re: Well I did it, oh, my! » happyflower, posted by annierose on April 5, 2006, at 20:20:56
> >>> Now I feel like I have to watch what I say and how I say it.<<<
>
> Can you explain further what you meant by that? Are you talking about in therapy? or in life?Well I am learning through therapy that what you say and how you say it says a lot about what you feel and think of yourself, which in my case I am too critical of myself due to low self esteem in some areas. Then when you think negative about yourself,and then say negative stuff, you almost fulfill the belief even if the belief is wrong or exaggerated.
So I need to talk more positive about myself, so that becomes part of me instead of the negative stuff. I am not sure if I am saying this right so you can understand what i am saying.
So my T is challenging my blanket statements and black and white thinking all the time, it drives me crazy sometimes, because sometimes it seems like he isn't really listening to WHAT I am saying, more of HOW I am saying it. But last night he explained that he does know how I feel and when he corrects or reframes what I say, he isn't trying to make less of my feelings.
Posted by happyflower on April 6, 2006, at 9:58:57
In reply to Well I did it, oh, my!, posted by happyflower on April 5, 2006, at 20:15:31
I felt so safe with him last night, even cared about, he has helped me so much. He may not be perfect person (nobody is), but he is a wonderful therapist. I think I was very lucky to find someone like him to help me, because I am a tough nut to crack, but with his experience and intellence, and especially PACIENCE, anyone less than awesome, I would have ran all over them. LOL I see why he has such a great reputation, and why he supervises other T's because he is darn good at what he does and I admire that so much in him. ;-) He will always be a part of me.
Posted by happyflower on April 6, 2006, at 10:10:36
In reply to Re: Well I did it, oh, my! » happyflower, posted by wishingstar on April 5, 2006, at 20:29:58
> Wow, happyflower, you are so brave! That's great that you were able to do that today. It sounds like you've taken a couple huge steps in the last few sessions.. and he's reacted well! that makes it even better. I hope you're proud of yourself.. you should be.
Thanks wishingstar! ;-) I DO feel good about it, it was worth it.
> It's amazing how good it can feel when our Ts just touch our shoulder or brush against us like that. In normal life, I'd probably never notice if someone did, but with my T, it totally would make my day. So far, she hasnt done it yet, but I'm holding out hope.. :)I know how you feel, that was the first he has ever physically touched me since therapy almost 15 months ago. It was so slight,barely noticable, but it make me feel good.
> Congrats on today!Thanks wishingstar for your support and encouragement! ;-)
Posted by LadyBug on April 6, 2006, at 14:17:57
In reply to My T is a sweetheart of a person, posted by happyflower on April 6, 2006, at 9:58:57
I'm excited for you to have had a good experience with your T. I too have a good T. No matter what, the work is still hard and painful at times, but the rewards do come. I think even our T's are rewarded when they see one of their patient's grow.
Good work Happyflower!! Yes, I could hang out on one of your petals sometime!
LadyBug
Posted by madeline on April 6, 2006, at 15:37:32
In reply to My T is a sweetheart of a person, posted by happyflower on April 6, 2006, at 9:58:57
Oh Happyflower! I am so HAPPY for you! I could just feel the warmth in your post.
I love good T's. But, keep in mind, no matter how good the therapist is, the bravery and honesty and willingness to trust were yours. It is a testament to your strength of spirit (and all of ours really) that despite everything that happened to us, we can still reach out and be loved.
All MY love to you
Maddie
Posted by happyflower on April 7, 2006, at 3:20:42
In reply to Re: My T is a sweetheart of a person » happyflower, posted by LadyBug on April 6, 2006, at 14:17:57
You know you are one sweet ladybug ;-) I am still feeling good today about my session. I feel like I got to the nitty gritty of myself and let my T see that. Now the real hard work will begin I think. Kinda makes me nervous opening up the cover to that book. But it needs to be done, I have come this far, I shouldn't stop now. Thanks ladybug!
Posted by happyflower on April 7, 2006, at 3:26:55
In reply to Re: My T is a sweetheart of a person » happyflower, posted by madeline on April 6, 2006, at 15:37:32
> Oh Happyflower! I am so HAPPY for you! I could just feel the warmth in your post.
Thanks Maddie for all your support. I am feeling really good about my appointment. Usually when I disclose something like this, I want to run far away from it afterwards. But my T made it okay and he was so kind that I feel like I don't have to run away from it.
How are thing going with you? You sound really good and happy. Thanks so much for all your support and love (it is hard to write love, but I feel it from you) Maybe happyflower can be loved again.>
This is the end of the thread.
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