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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Karolina on April 3, 2006, at 0:19:33
Hi Everyone I'm new but I need some serious help.
Everyone thinks the current T I've been seeing doesn't help me anymore because I recently got very depressed and started a cycle of bingeing and purging again, even started heavy drug use. The problem is is that this T is the only person I fully trust. If my parents make me switch to a new T I think I will get even more depressed. If they convince my T that they think he isn't helping, and he refers me somewhere new I know I will feel like killing myself.I don't know how to make my parents understand that it isn't his fault that I gave way to one of my old bad coping habits. I don't know how to make them understand that it's all my fault for not listening. I don't even know how I got into a bad cycle of this again when I had been doing better. Or how I started doing drugs as well. I haven't been able to see my T because I've been away at an internship in NYC. But I've had to come back home because I was doing so terrible.
My frustration is that I still believe my T can really help me, esp. now that I have returned back to my home city. I have been seeing him for quite awhile but seemed to fall apart while I was away and not seeing him. My parents said if he had really helped me, I wouldn't have gotten into self-destructive behaviors again and would have never had to come back home. Are they right that he's not helping me anymore? Or does this just happen sometimes?(set-backs)and I could benefit from his help again? Thanks so much -Karolina-
Posted by Racer on April 3, 2006, at 1:15:50
In reply to Please help I don't know what to do, posted by Karolina on April 3, 2006, at 0:19:33
Could go either way, really. It could be that he can still help you, and it could be that he hasn't helped you as much as necessary so far. The thing is, there's not really a good way to tell, especially not from the other side of a computer screen...
You probably have a pretty good idea, though, of whether or not he has helped you. From what you've written here, I'm guessing he helped you learn healthier coping strategies than B/P? That would be a good sign... But what about now? Are you still being challenged? Are you still making progress? Or are you rehashing the same things every session? Sometimes there will be periods when it feels as though you're just spinning your wheels, when whatever you're up against looks too frightening, but other times it feels as though you're spinning your wheels because you are. If your T isn't continuing to challenge you, it's probably time to move on.
But you know what? Moving on to another therapist doesn't have to be a bad thing. It doesn't mean anyone failed. It only means that you've finished that one relationship. Nothing more. It doesn't negate the good work you've done together, or mean that someone else is a better therapist. It only means that someone else is a better therapist for you RIGHTNOW.
I know, not so reassuring. Just trying to let you know that there's value in both of those. There's value in staying with someone who's helped you, and there's value in moving on.
One bit of advice for you, though: do make sure you're getting the best possible help for you in getting over the B/P. That's too hard a cycle to break out of, and it will lead to so much pain down the road. If it's bad after a year or a couple of years -- only imagine what it's like after 10 years, or 20 years. We have some people here with that history, and any one of them will tell you that. And we do have an eating disorders board here, too, which you may find helpful.
Good luck, and welcome to Babble.
Posted by annierose on April 3, 2006, at 6:28:01
In reply to Please help I don't know what to do, posted by Karolina on April 3, 2006, at 0:19:33
It's hard to know. But from what you wrote, I think your set-back may be tied into your internship and not seeing your therapist. You probably needed on-going support of some kind while you were away --- new city, school/job, etc. That's stressful for anyone. So you relied on your previous habits to help you through the harder times since your T wasn't available to you.
Parents (and husbands) don't understand the therapy process (if they haven't been themselves). Let them know how important he is to you. How much you trust him. How scary it will be to start with someone new.
Good luck.
Posted by Emily Elizabeth on April 3, 2006, at 10:43:45
In reply to Please help I don't know what to do, posted by Karolina on April 3, 2006, at 0:19:33
Welcome. A few follow up questions?
1. How old are you?
2. How often to you see T?
3. Do you work w/ other ED professionals, like a nutritionist?
4. Does your T know abt your parents concerns abt him?
5. Does your T have a specialty or special interest in ED?In general, my advice is that you be very honest with him about what is going on, both w/ your symptoms and your concerns abt what he can do for you. That way, you can dialogue abt what is best for you and arrive at a decision that will help you and that you feel comfortable with.
Best,
EE
Posted by Poet on April 3, 2006, at 18:58:17
In reply to Please help I don't know what to do, posted by Karolina on April 3, 2006, at 0:19:33
Hi Karolina,
Welcome to babble.
I'm bulimic, too. For me anxiety makes it hard for me not to go right back into the binge/purge cycle.
Setbacks happen to me and I have been seeing one T for over three years.
I don't think it's fair of anyone to blame your T for your relapse. I am assuming that he helped you in the past with your eating and substance abuse problems. If that is the case I think that continuing to see him would help you more than starting fresh with a new T.
I understand how hard it is to think about seeing someone else. I have major trust issues. also know that my T doesn't have much experience with eating disorders and if I ever got completely out of control she would refer me to someone else for help.
Take care. I hope your parents listen to your concerns.
Poet
Posted by Karolina on April 9, 2006, at 21:43:27
In reply to Re: Please help I don't know what to do » Karolina, posted by Poet on April 3, 2006, at 18:58:17
Thank you all so much for your thoughtful responses. I turned 20 about a month ago while I was still in NYC. Even that seemed hard to be away from home while it was my birthday. I struggled alot, and did unfortunately turn back to old (negative) coping mechanisms while I was away. A1so my parents still pay for my therapy and have the control of making my decisions. I've been seeing this T for 2 years usually once a week, but also sometimes twice a week. The main focus of my therapy was how to cope in healthier ways and how to not be so self-destructive.
I was able to talk with my parents and they were understanding of how I wasn't ready for such a drastic change, when I already had to face the trauma of coming home and not being able to complete my internship. They also talked with my T and he is in agreement to keep seeing me, but offered referrals in case I ever felt like I needed some more intensive help. I was probably panicking that it wouldn't work out to keep seeing him and now I feel lots better. Thanks everyone.
-Karolina-
This is the end of the thread.
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