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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by B2chica on March 23, 2006, at 11:06:17
last wednesday's T appt. my T mentioned that she spoke with my old T and he asked how i was, and she told him ok. well, i wanted her to know i'm fine with her talking to him, telling him how i am (you know legal issues and such). so she then realized that i should sign a form saying it's ok that she talk to him. she quick got a form and i was about to sign it and realized it had both boxes checked, one for her to talk to him and one for him to talk to her (meaning disclose information about me and sessions). i did NOT want that. i told her and she said it's just a formality and that she won;t ask to see my old charts or anything. well, i wanted her to beable to tell old T how i'm doing so i signed.
but
now i'm realizing that she could have right away asked him all info, telling him i signed so that he could tell her everything.
dang it. from day one i told her i don't want that! i don't want him telling her ANYTHING about me.
i was so upset that i cancelled yesterday's appt. and now i'm debating whether i should ever go back. i know she'll lie and say he never told her anything which -i know she knows more than she says. (she's slipped up a couple of times in the past-so i know).
i'm debating if i should just terminate therapy all together. she'll never be able to help me the way i need anyway. what's the freaking point if i can't trust her. she has her own d@mn agenda. to h@ll with my thoughts. i just get this feeling that she has to be 'better, smarter, more knowledgeable than me. and if that means that she has to have a heads up on my personal history than to heck with what i want.i just hate this. i'm just afraid that if i quit now, as i'm going off meds, that i will need someone at least to keep tabs on my emotional being and i will ruin that if i quit. but if i stay...
i don't know. i'm just hurt and confused. i wish i could trust women...i just don't. i feel like i'm being forced to. i HATE that. but maybe since i hate it, it's what i need??? dang this therapy cr@p!
upset
b2c.
Posted by Dinah on March 23, 2006, at 11:45:51
In reply to pressure to sign....trust, posted by B2chica on March 23, 2006, at 11:06:17
If you have any doubts about it, call and withdraw the permission, fax something if you have to, and have her redraw the form the way you'd feel comfortable signing it.
I don't think therapists should pressure us into those kind of things.
Posted by ghost on March 23, 2006, at 16:37:49
In reply to pressure to sign....trust, posted by B2chica on March 23, 2006, at 11:06:17
b2c,
sorry i'm not around much these days. i try to read your posts when i see them though because i think about you often and hope you're doing okay.
i had to be the pessimist, but i have to tell you-- if you have doubts like you're having, i really don't think she's a good fit for you. (and if she's slipping up about what she really knows, that'd destroy ALL trust for me, but i have terrible issues with that.) anyhow, i also think that even if you yanked the release from her, what if she already talked to him? i don't want to make you paranoid (far from it, i promise!), i'm just saying what i'd be thinking. the "damage" has been done, so to speak.
anyhow. that's just my two cents, for what it's worth. (not even two cents, really.)
i don't think you did anything wrong, though. you gave her the benefit of the doubt and gave her a chance. it seems like she hasn't come through for you. so why keep wasting your time? time is valuable. it'd be good to find a better T, one more trustworthy. but i almost think you'd be better off without one at all if the alternative is this one. she's putting you through so much stress and grief!!! you don't need that. not now. life's too short. find someone new.
it's tough to find someone new. i've thought about trying to get a referral through RAINN (http://www.rainn.org), although I've never tried it so i can't give you any kind of opinion about it.
i dunno. i just think you're better off with that *particular* stress in your life. not now.
i ramble. i'm sorry. i just worry about you. i hope you're doing okay. i don't blame you for cancelling your last appt either.
take care.
*lotsa hugs*
ghost
Posted by orchid on March 23, 2006, at 17:52:07
In reply to pressure to sign....trust, posted by B2chica on March 23, 2006, at 11:06:17
I think ultimately she had your well being in mind for whatever actions she did. She probably did talk to him about you, but I am sure she did that to be able to help you better.
I think it is a bad idea to terminate suddenly, and especially more so when you are going off of the meds.
Take Care
Orchid.
Posted by muffled on March 23, 2006, at 19:20:47
In reply to Re: pressure to sign....trust » B2chica, posted by orchid on March 23, 2006, at 17:52:07
Dang B2, you really did try with her.
It may be that her motivations are good, but if she's not doing as YOU say, it is your therapy after all, well, I don't want to tell you what to do. I don't know. Trust is such a huge giant issue for so many of us........
It just sounds real tough. But you've done so well. You'll get thru this too. One way or another.
Best wishes to you.
((((((B2 chica)))))
Posted by muffled on March 23, 2006, at 19:21:40
In reply to Re: pressure to sign....trust » orchid, posted by muffled on March 23, 2006, at 19:20:47
Posted by Emily Elizabeth on March 23, 2006, at 23:20:40
In reply to pressure to sign....trust, posted by B2chica on March 23, 2006, at 11:06:17
I'm sorry that you are feeling yucky. :( This is such a hard situation to give advice on b/c it is so hard to know what is going on from both POV's. I certainly want you to be aware of your internal experience and intuition. However, I also think that your last paragraph is important to think abt too:
> i don't know. i'm just hurt and confused. i wish i could trust women...i just don't. i feel like i'm being forced to. i HATE that. but maybe since i hate it, it's what i need??? dang this therapy cr@p!
I think it would be worth trying to bring this stuff up with her to try to sort out if this is a pattern of difficulties in your life or if it is really just about her being a bad/untrustworthy therapist.
Perhaps giving it a time limit. Maybe you could go for 3 more sessions and then decide. You could choose to share the time limit w/ her or not.
But I do believe that, in the end, only you can know what is best for you.
Best,
EE
Posted by Daisym on March 24, 2006, at 1:11:30
In reply to pressure to sign....trust, posted by B2chica on March 23, 2006, at 11:06:17
At some point I'm guessing this new therapist will do something right. And I think you want her to help you. *I* want her to help you. And I think, eventually, you are going to need someone to help you feel all the upset from your beloved therapist leaving. Even though...and but...yet...
I can hear you protesting that you *knew* he was going to leave and he *did* help you tremendously and you had a good termination.Here is my own "but" -- you don't trust the new therapist to not hurt you and to not leave you. Women haven't been trustworthy before, and you have every reason to be cautious. But I think she is honoring what she has said she would and wouldn't do. You can't demand of yourself, or little b2, that you trust her right away. Or maybe ever. But I think she might be worth giving another month or so. Just to see...
All that said, EE is right. Only you know what is best for you. I wish it was easier than this.
Hugs,
Daisy
Posted by B2chica on March 24, 2006, at 9:01:13
In reply to *hugs* b2c » B2chica, posted by ghost on March 23, 2006, at 16:37:49
HI GHOST!!!
boy i missed you. so glad you still lurk.and i've thought over and over she's not a good fit. but i guess i kept her cuz she's a little link to my old T. and i don't want my stuff spread all over so at least it's still in the same office...
and don't worry about makaing me paranoid...already am. already figured she'd talk to him. infact i figure she probably talked to him as soon as she could so that i couldn't take it back.
i'm considering dropping her completely but i'm going off my meds right now and i kinda want a crutch. but i might change my appts. to once everyother week. that way i don't have to talk about personal stuff i can just talk about emotions and day-to-day stuff.
let me know about your referral through rainn, i didn't even know they did that!i hope you are doing well, and all smiles. even if i'm doing cr@ppy, that will make me happy.
(((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))Ghost
b2c.
Posted by B2chica on March 24, 2006, at 9:03:24
In reply to Re: pressure to sign....trust, posted by Emily Elizabeth on March 23, 2006, at 23:20:40
Thanks EE, i think the time limit is a good idea. i might give that a try. and three sounds pretty good.
Posted by B2chica on March 24, 2006, at 9:06:23
In reply to Re: pressure to sign....trust » B2chica, posted by Daisym on March 24, 2006, at 1:11:30
Daisy, once again you are wiser than your years. as much as i hate to say it, i think you may be right about her. i'm sure what she's doing is to help me better...and i need to keep little b2 in mind. but she's more scared of women than anyone of us, and i think she won't come out around women, and i think that's what i need. but i think your right and should go at least a few more times.
thank you for your advice.
Posted by B2chica on March 24, 2006, at 9:08:56
In reply to Re: pressure to sign....trust » orchid, posted by muffled on March 23, 2006, at 19:20:47
yes, i feel like i did give her a good try. and trust...boy, it is a huge issue Especially with women. but maybe that's what i need...i dont' know..
>>Trust is such a huge giant issue for so many of us........It just sounds real tough. But you've done so well. You'll get thru this too.thanks muffled. i think i'm wanting to hid away for a while. can i go away with you for a while. maybe little b2 can even come up for air. i'm actually starting to miss her. she started to find a new freedom with old T, now she's locked away again.
b2c.
This is the end of the thread.
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