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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by happyflower on November 21, 2005, at 9:53:58
Okay, last week I was really missing him since I hadn't seen him for over 2 weeks. Normally I see him at the gym at least once, so I was a little worried about him. Well so I called him to touch base, which I never done before. He normally has very stick phone boundries, always very business like and very short.
Well he called me back, and was very nice and friendly like, lacking any coldness which I normally encounter with him on the phone. I normally don't like to talk to him on the phone because of his business like attitude, I have even told him this before.
Well anyways he asked me if hearing his voice made me feel better. I said yes, as always.Then he says, so I guess you haven't seen me at the gym lately have you. It turns out he was sick, thats why he couldn't got to my concert, (which is wierd because I thought he wasn't going to go anyways). We talked about my concerts and stuff.
Then he asks me if I looking forward to my next session. I kinda was caught offguard with this question, so I paused, and then said, yes, as always. Then he asks when my next appointment is, I say 2 weeks, he said wow, that long from now.
Then we talked about working out , my new orthodics and me starting yoga. Then he wished me a nice Thanksgiving and said he would see me soon probably at the gym.
I felt better know he was all right, and his call did help me feel connected to him, I am just surprised he talked to me so nice on the phone. But what he said was a little unexpected especailly the questions. I wonder if he finally reallizes I have the hots for him especially since I said the panties comment on my last session. It will be interesting how he seems when I see him next. The conversation lasted about 10 minutes or less.So what do you all think of this, knowing all that I have said previously, do you think my T is a little smitten with me? Or is it my imagination? LOL I have a feelings "my feelings" are going to come up in my next session.
Posted by annierose on November 21, 2005, at 12:21:53
In reply to Okay, I can't stand it, I have to talk about my T, posted by happyflower on November 21, 2005, at 9:53:58
Your feelings should always come up in each and every session. Don't shy away from telling him. It's your therapy, it should be about you and your feelings, whatever they are. I worry that he is unaware how much to heart you are taking his comments.
Posted by happyflower on November 21, 2005, at 12:46:55
In reply to Re: Okay, I can't stand it, I have to talk about my T » happyflower, posted by annierose on November 21, 2005, at 12:21:53
What I meant when I said my feelings, I meant my feelings for him that I have. In fact I think they are mutual feeling of attraction and liking for each other that never get discussed because I haven't got the guts to say anything yet. It is like the big pink elephant in the living room.
Are you familar with my on going saga about my T? I guess from your comment,you think I am dilusional about what my T feels for me, that he is saying things that he doesn't know how it is affecting me or that I am misreading him?
Posted by muffled on November 21, 2005, at 12:46:57
In reply to Okay, I can't stand it, I have to talk about my T, posted by happyflower on November 21, 2005, at 9:53:58
*Oh Happy, I SO need some lighter stuff today. Thrilled to see your byline and laughed just to see it!
>
> Then he says, so I guess you haven't seen me at the gym lately have you. It turns out he was sick, thats why he couldn't got to my concert, (which is wierd because I thought he wasn't going to go anyways). We talked about my concerts and stuff.*You write so very well.
>
> Then he asks me if I looking forward to my next session. I kinda was caught offguard with this question, so I paused, and then said, yes, as always. Then he asks when my next appointment is, I say 2 weeks, he said wow, that long from now.*Whoah!!!!!!!Seriously, WHOAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>> I felt better know he was all right, and his call did help me feel connected to him, I am just surprised he talked to me so nice on the phone. But what he said was a little unexpected especailly the questions. I wonder if he finally reallizes I have the hots for him especially since I said the panties comment on my last session. It will be interesting how he seems when I see him next. The conversation lasted about 10 minutes or less.
*ROFL!!!!!ROFL!!!ROFL!!!!I think I p my pants!!ROLFL!!!!
10 minutes!Thats a LONG, LONG, phone call to a T.
>
> So what do you all think of this, knowing all that I have said previously, do you think my T is a little smitten with me? Or is it my imagination? LOL I have a feelings "my feelings" are going to come up in my next session.
>
*I think he is smitten with you all right. Scarey to me. You seem so delightful and fun I'm not surprized. I just hope you guys don't get hurt is all. Its all so dangerous. Is it possible you guys could be friends?Or do you just want to get into his pants?
Thanks for sharing!
Muffled.
Posted by happyflower on November 21, 2005, at 13:00:06
In reply to Re: Okay, I can't stand it, I have to talk about my T » happyflower, posted by muffled on November 21, 2005, at 12:46:57
> *Oh Happy, I SO need some lighter stuff today. Thrilled to see your byline and laughed just to see it!
I am glad you are laughing today, but I think your comments make me laugh and smile. :)
> > Then he asks me if I looking forward to my next session. I kinda was caught offguard with this question, so I paused, and then said, yes, as always. Then he asks when my next appointment is, I say 2 weeks, he said wow, that long from now.
> *Whoah!!!!!!!Seriously, WHOAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Seriously, whoah? So this isn't all in my head, you think?
.
> *ROFL!!!!!ROFL!!!ROFL!!!!I think I p my pants!!ROLFL!!!!
> 10 minutes!Thats a LONG, LONG, phone call to a T.
Maybe you better look into some depends of something! LOL I have only talked to my T on the phone only a few times, so I don't know how long is long.
> > So what do you all think of this, knowing > >
> *I think he is smitten with you all right. Scarey to me. You seem so delightful and fun I'm not surprized. I just hope you guys don't get hurt is all. Its all so dangerous. Is it possible you guys could be friends?Or do you just want to get into his pants?
>>Yes, I know we both could get hurt, you are right. This is why I am trying to hold back my feelings and deny them and deny that I think he has feelings for me. But it is getting to the point that I can't hide my attraction for him. I think we could be friends, but yet I am sexually attracted to him too, so I don't know. In fact I think we are both mutually attracted to each other. I can tell. It is scarey and exciting at the same time.
I know a lot of people say it is all transference because normally you don't know anything about your T . Well I know A LOT, with the exception of physical touching, it is like we have dated since this summer. Most people would say, if they knew us, that we would be "perfect" for one another. But of course we are both married, me unhappily, I am not sure how happy is in his marraige , and of course he is my T , so there are rules about that after therapy. I am almost at the point of thinking it would be worth it to be with him. I feel I am looking at all of this pros and cons, I just can't stop my feelings for him.
Posted by muffled on November 21, 2005, at 13:30:10
In reply to Re: Okay, I can't stand it, I have to talk about my T » muffled, posted by happyflower on November 21, 2005, at 13:00:06
> >
> > > Then he asks me if I looking forward to my next session. I kinda was caught offguard with this question, so I paused, and then said, yes, as always. Then he asks when my next appointment is, I say 2 weeks, he said wow, that long from now.
>
> > *Whoah!!!!!!!Seriously, WHOAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>
> Seriously, whoah? So this isn't all in my head, you think?*********No way, not to me. You guys were CHATTING. I don't think its a normal think to call your T and chat. Nu-uh. Why would he think 2 weeks is long? That was a weird thing for him to say.
>> Maybe you better look into some depends of something! LOL I have only talked to my T on the phone only a few times, so I don't know how long is long.
******I think anything more than about 30 seconds unless you got something urgent and specific to talk about.
>
> Yes, I know we both could get hurt, you are right. This is why I am trying to hold back my feelings and deny them and deny that I think he has feelings for me. But it is getting to the point that I can't hide my attraction for him.****Hard to beleive he hasn't noticed somehow?
I think we could be friends, but yet I am sexually attracted to him too, so I don't know. In fact I think we are both mutually attracted to each other. I can tell. It is scarey and exciting at the same time.
*******definately a serious trip. The stuff of fantasies.
> I know a lot of people say it is all transference because normally you don't know anything about your T . Well I know A LOT, with the exception of physical touching, it is like we have dated since this summer. Most people would say, if they knew us, that we would be "perfect" for one another. But of course we are both married, me unhappily, I am not sure how happy is in his marraige , and of course he is my T , so there are rules about that after therapy. I am almost at the point of thinking it would be worth it to be with him. I feel I am looking at all of this pros and cons, I just can't stop my feelings for him.********Sorry I make light of your situation. It must be so conflicting and confusing for you. I think if you care about him you really need to get this out in the open and deal with this sooner rather than later. And if he seems like he needs time to deal with it alone a bit rather than having an emotion charged thrashing out, you should give that gift of time alone to him. Its so very hard and complicated. I hope you'll keep us up to date.
He sounds like a nice man.
Its all so fraught with danger.
Its all so unreal.
Its all so confusing.
Its all so exiting.
I hope you don't get hurt. You such a sweetie.
Maybe fairytales do come true?
Muffled.
Posted by happyflower on November 21, 2005, at 17:47:06
In reply to Okay, I can't stand it, I have to talk about my T, posted by happyflower on November 21, 2005, at 9:53:58
Maybe he is just nice guy doing his job and I am interpeting things wrongly or the way I want them. I don't know, I am ususally good at reading people. Maybe I am just so screwed up I don't even know it.
Posted by muffled on November 21, 2005, at 18:26:22
In reply to Maybe I am seeing his actions all wrong., posted by happyflower on November 21, 2005, at 17:47:06
> Maybe he is just nice guy doing his job and I am interpeting things wrongly or the way I want them. I don't know, I am ususally good at reading people. Maybe I am just so screwed up I don't even know it.
**Maybe. But he sure does seem awful friendly to you. Maybe he sees it all in some kind of different way?
Seems like you just gonna have to spill tyhe beans one way or another.
Sigh.(((Happy)))
Muffled.
Posted by one woman cine on November 22, 2005, at 17:13:50
In reply to Maybe I am seeing his actions all wrong., posted by happyflower on November 21, 2005, at 17:47:06
just my humble opinion, but - no you aren't screwed up. I think if alot of time passes between sessions, things often go unsaid. Does this happen?
Perhaps; hmmm - is it possible to ask him about the mutual attraction? The only way you can hope to find out is by flat asking him, which is uncomfortable; but could have a good outcome - you could find out the truth. But it's better than agonizing guesses.
Transference/counterference is a tricky thing. He may very well have feelings for you, maybe just not the ones you may think. I always find the best policy the articulated word, spoken & heard. Good luck.
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