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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by shrinking violet on November 15, 2005, at 13:19:28
I don't know....I'm not sure what to say as I hadn't really expected to post today, although I've been toying with the idea for some time. First, I'm sorry I haven't been around much. It's hard to read posts about T's when I miss mine so much, and I'm never sure what to say to help anyone else anymore.
It's been about six months since I terminated with my ex-T. I've seen a new T (who knows my exT) about three times, but every time I go it's like grinding broken glass into an already infected wound, because facing this new person highlights the fact that she isn't my ex-T, nor will ever be, and it just hurts too much to go, so I've stopped for now.
I've written my ex-T a couple of times (she had said I could). She said I could visit her too, but I haven't yet; I'm not sure she really meant it, and I'm not sure how I'd react if I saw her again (being upset, etc). I miss her terribly. Sometimes as a T, yes (she was so comforting), but sometimes just in general for being who she was. I'm hurt though, too, that she ended that way with me, and that it ended the way it did (she said she'd never do it that way, she said she'd hang in there, but ultimately she did what I knew she'd do all along. Was I that much of a nightmare? Yes. I'd take it all back if I could, I wish I could...). I have so many questions and hurts and.....I keep meaning to get it all out, write to her about them specifically, but I haven't yet. I'm not even sure it would be a good idea. So in the meantime I think of her, I miss her terribly, I wish her well, I miss her and am upset with her and she hurt me and I fear I'll never hear her voice again.
:-(
Why is life always so sad and full of loss????
-sv
Posted by Reggie BoStar on November 15, 2005, at 17:01:00
In reply to This can't be healthy or normal, can it?, posted by shrinking violet on November 15, 2005, at 13:19:28
Have you thought about confronting her for doing this to you? Why let her get away with it? Clearly she's hurt you, and this is something a health care professional in any category must never deliberately do.
You shouldn't think of yourself as a "nightmare", or that you did anything wrong. It's not your fault - you're the patient, and a good person besides.
Besides, even "nightmares" - which is what I am (I'm also known as a "high maintenance patient". Heh heh...) - deserve treatment. People like me just get a different kind, that's all. But NO ONE who is qualified and competent should ever turn away a patient for any reason. If a professional can't treat a patient, then he/she should transfer the patient to someone who can.
A therapist such as your ex, who terminated you and thereby caused you pain, has no business being in this profession. She should get out before she hurts anyone else.
Regardless of what she does, you're hurting and that's more important than anything else. Forget about her and find someone who can help you. You deserve it.
Take care and good luck,
Reggie BoStar
Posted by orchid on November 15, 2005, at 20:37:36
In reply to This can't be healthy or normal, can it?, posted by shrinking violet on November 15, 2005, at 13:19:28
Hi SV,
It takes a very long time to come up with abrupt termination like yours.
I hope you help yourself with the support that you will get from this board or from a new T. Even if it is hard to face a new T in the beginning, eventually it is definitely good for you to be seeing a T. Please try to go.
And also please try to write here more. I think it would definitely help.
I still don't understand why T's terminate cruelly sometime. The only explanation that I have now is that they probably just don't care enough.
But I think you will find a good T if you persevere.
((SV))
Posted by muffled on November 15, 2005, at 22:20:29
In reply to This can't be healthy or normal, can it?, posted by shrinking violet on November 15, 2005, at 13:19:28
> I don't know....I'm not sure what to say as I hadn't really expected to post today, although I've been toying with the idea for some time. First, I'm sorry I haven't been around much. It's hard to read posts about T's when I miss mine so much, and I'm never sure what to say to help anyone else anymore.
*Sorry you miss your T. Just by posting you help others. I've noticed this. Other people read and relate.
>
> It's been about six months since I terminated with my ex-T. I've seen a new T (who knows my exT) about three times, but every time I go it's like grinding broken glass into an already infected wound, because facing this new person highlights the fact that she isn't my ex-T, nor will ever be, and it just hurts too much to go, so I've stopped for now.*Maybe you can find a T. thats not connected in ANY way to your old T.
>
> I've written my ex-T a couple of times (she had said I could). She said I could visit her too, but I haven't yet; I'm not sure she really meant it, and I'm not sure how I'd react if I saw her again (being upset, etc). I miss her terribly. Sometimes as a T, yes (she was so comforting), but sometimes just in general for being who she was. I'm hurt though, too, that she ended that way with me, and that it ended the way it did (she said she'd never do it that way, she said she'd hang in there, but ultimately she did what I knew she'd do all along. Was I that much of a nightmare? Yes. I'd take it all back if I could, I wish I could...). I have so many questions and hurts and.....I keep meaning to get it all out, write to her about them specifically, but I haven't yet. I'm not even sure it would be a good idea. So in the meantime I think of her, I miss her terribly, I wish her well, I miss her and am upset with her and she hurt me and I fear I'll never hear her voice again.
>
*Does your ex-T respond to your letters? Maybe you were difficult (lots of us are)(I keep thinking my T will terminate me cuz I too crazy for her) and then again maybe you just happened to push her particular set of buttons. Maybe she cared TOO much and knew she had to get out to save herself. I think T's are human beings and are not perfect and have a difficult job. Presumably many of them get into the profession cuz they want to help hurting people, but they also have to protect themselves. Not to say us clients are bad or anything, its just we have alot of pain and that is why we are there. So I don't know what happened with you and your T.
If its bothering you alot it proly needs to get looked at, at some point. Maybe a meeting with old, and new T., and you, together, just to keep things under control a bit? It sounds like ypur ex-T cares. But who knows I guess.
>
> Why is life always so sad and full of loss????
>
*I don't know. But it sure makes me appreciate the good times. I beleive in God, so sometimes I think He is testing or training us to do that which He would like us to do while were here on this earth.
Hope I haven't been a complete moron in this post. I do that too.
Take care, keep posting,
Muffled.
This is the end of the thread.
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