Posted by muffled on November 15, 2005, at 22:20:29
In reply to This can't be healthy or normal, can it?, posted by shrinking violet on November 15, 2005, at 13:19:28
> I don't know....I'm not sure what to say as I hadn't really expected to post today, although I've been toying with the idea for some time. First, I'm sorry I haven't been around much. It's hard to read posts about T's when I miss mine so much, and I'm never sure what to say to help anyone else anymore.
*Sorry you miss your T. Just by posting you help others. I've noticed this. Other people read and relate.
>
> It's been about six months since I terminated with my ex-T. I've seen a new T (who knows my exT) about three times, but every time I go it's like grinding broken glass into an already infected wound, because facing this new person highlights the fact that she isn't my ex-T, nor will ever be, and it just hurts too much to go, so I've stopped for now.*Maybe you can find a T. thats not connected in ANY way to your old T.
>
> I've written my ex-T a couple of times (she had said I could). She said I could visit her too, but I haven't yet; I'm not sure she really meant it, and I'm not sure how I'd react if I saw her again (being upset, etc). I miss her terribly. Sometimes as a T, yes (she was so comforting), but sometimes just in general for being who she was. I'm hurt though, too, that she ended that way with me, and that it ended the way it did (she said she'd never do it that way, she said she'd hang in there, but ultimately she did what I knew she'd do all along. Was I that much of a nightmare? Yes. I'd take it all back if I could, I wish I could...). I have so many questions and hurts and.....I keep meaning to get it all out, write to her about them specifically, but I haven't yet. I'm not even sure it would be a good idea. So in the meantime I think of her, I miss her terribly, I wish her well, I miss her and am upset with her and she hurt me and I fear I'll never hear her voice again.
>
*Does your ex-T respond to your letters? Maybe you were difficult (lots of us are)(I keep thinking my T will terminate me cuz I too crazy for her) and then again maybe you just happened to push her particular set of buttons. Maybe she cared TOO much and knew she had to get out to save herself. I think T's are human beings and are not perfect and have a difficult job. Presumably many of them get into the profession cuz they want to help hurting people, but they also have to protect themselves. Not to say us clients are bad or anything, its just we have alot of pain and that is why we are there. So I don't know what happened with you and your T.
If its bothering you alot it proly needs to get looked at, at some point. Maybe a meeting with old, and new T., and you, together, just to keep things under control a bit? It sounds like ypur ex-T cares. But who knows I guess.
>
> Why is life always so sad and full of loss????
>
*I don't know. But it sure makes me appreciate the good times. I beleive in God, so sometimes I think He is testing or training us to do that which He would like us to do while were here on this earth.
Hope I haven't been a complete moron in this post. I do that too.
Take care, keep posting,
Muffled.
poster:muffled
thread:578966
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051107/msgs/579151.html