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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by muffled on November 9, 2005, at 21:02:34
The first line below is trigger, the rest is proly ok.
What would you think if someone said to you "somebody touched me, I liked it, its not bad, but I am."
Those are her exact words. She said this after she told me she was going away and never comming back(etc....).That she would never be touched again. I thought she meant emotionally, maybe she does. I have no clue what she's talking about. I told her it was ok, she's not bad. We all got good and bad in us. But we not all bad. I think that made her happy. But now she's not so happy again. I don't know why. She wants me to tell T I think, but I won't, cuz I really got no clue where it comes from. I told T. in a writing bout the going away and not comming back thing. But the other is too controversial. I think I don't need to say anything, I can deal with her myself with all the stuff i've learned in therapy. She didn't apparently hear or understand the stuff or something. Maybe she was too far away. It all doesn't bother me at all.Its all hers and not mine. Mind you it was pretty cool when she was happy, I think I glowed or something, it was SO cool. I was at the school and all these people were responding to me So positively, it was weird. Usu. noone really notices me. Must've been that contented smile on my face or something. I often paste on a smile, but apparently this one was different! It really was amazing. I definately think there must have been a glow!
Muffled
Muffled
Posted by Tamar on November 10, 2005, at 3:27:03
In reply to *******TRIGGER*******, posted by muffled on November 9, 2005, at 21:02:34
> What would you think if someone said to you "somebody touched me, I liked it, its not bad, but I am."
I’d think: this person is hurting. This person blames herself for something bad that happened to her. She thinks she’s bad because she liked it despite knowing it shouldn’t have happened. But maybe she’s not saying the other part: the part about how she also didn’t like it. About how liking it and hating it at the same time is very confusing. And maybe she doesn’t realise that it’s very normal to like it and hate it at the same time.
> Those are her exact words. She said this after she told me she was going away and never comming back(etc....).That she would never be touched again. I thought she meant emotionally, maybe she does. I have no clue what she's talking about. I told her it was ok, she's not bad. We all got good and bad in us. But we not all bad. I think that made her happy.
It was very sweet that you were so gentle with her. I like that you told her she’s not bad. I hope she can believe you.
> But now she's not so happy again. I don't know why. She wants me to tell T I think, but I won't, cuz I really got no clue where it comes from. I told T. in a writing bout the going away and not comming back thing. But the other is too controversial. I think I don't need to say anything, I can deal with her myself with all the stuff i've learned in therapy.
Maybe you’re afraid your T will think she’s bad, or that you’re bad. But I think your T can help. I know what you mean about it being controversial. But even if you have no clue where it comes from, it’s still there. And it’s OK not to know, or not to remember.
> She didn't apparently hear or understand the stuff or something. Maybe she was too far away. It all doesn't bother me at all.Its all hers and not mine. Mind you it was pretty cool when she was happy, I think I glowed or something, it was SO cool. I was at the school and all these people were responding to me So positively, it was weird. Usu. noone really notices me. Must've been that contented smile on my face or something. I often paste on a smile, but apparently this one was different! It really was amazing. I definately think there must have been a glow!
Yeah, I’m sure that when she’s happy things are better. And if you really think she wants you to tell your T, perhaps that would help. You don’t have to understand it yet. That’s part of what therapy is for; to help us understand a bit better…
Tamar
Posted by happyflower on November 10, 2005, at 9:44:25
In reply to Re: *******TRIGGER******* » muffled, posted by Tamar on November 10, 2005, at 3:27:03
Posted by B2chica on November 10, 2005, at 10:07:02
In reply to *******TRIGGER*******, posted by muffled on November 9, 2005, at 21:02:34
Posted by muffled on November 11, 2005, at 18:20:43
In reply to Re: *******TRIGGER******* » muffled, posted by Tamar on November 10, 2005, at 3:27:03
> I’d think: this person is hurting. This person blames herself for something bad that happened to her. She thinks she’s bad because she liked it despite knowing it shouldn’t have happened. But maybe she’s not saying the other part: the part about how she also didn’t like it. About how liking it and hating it at the same time is very confusing. And maybe she doesn’t realise that it’s very normal to like it and hate it at the same time.*Thank-you.
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> It was very sweet that you were so gentle with her. I like that you told her she’s not bad. I hope she can believe you.*I hope so too. I was rejecting her cuz I didn't want her 'stuff'. I should know better than to be like that. No wonder she feels bad. I still don't want to know her stuff though.
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> Maybe you’re afraid your T will think she’s bad, or that you’re bad. But I think your T can help. I know what you mean about it being controversial. But even if you have no clue where it comes from, it’s still there. And it’s OK not to know, or not to remember.*I didn't tell my T her words, but I faxed her about how she felt(I think I called her , it). And that I sorta understood why she was ashamed. I don't think my T really knows that She knows stuff that i don't. But i told her that too. I don't think my T knows just how much she is She and not me. She is and she isn't. Its an odd thing.
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> Yeah, I’m sure that when she’s happy things are better. And if you really think she wants you to tell your T, perhaps that would help. You don’t have to understand it yet. That’s part of what therapy is for; to help us understand a bit better…
>
*Sigh.....its all very weird. Its all her stuff, but I think she's intruding on me and I'm trying really hard to avoid but not hurt her. She's me but she's separate. I can't really communicate with her. Its so confusing. i don't want her 'stuff'.But I guess its mine too after all and if I want to be whole and stop the chewing I guess I'll have to deal with her and her 'stuff'.
SH*T.
Thanks Tamar for all your help, its great.
Muffled
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