Posted by muffled on November 11, 2005, at 18:20:43
In reply to Re: *******TRIGGER******* » muffled, posted by Tamar on November 10, 2005, at 3:27:03
> I’d think: this person is hurting. This person blames herself for something bad that happened to her. She thinks she’s bad because she liked it despite knowing it shouldn’t have happened. But maybe she’s not saying the other part: the part about how she also didn’t like it. About how liking it and hating it at the same time is very confusing. And maybe she doesn’t realise that it’s very normal to like it and hate it at the same time.*Thank-you.
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> It was very sweet that you were so gentle with her. I like that you told her she’s not bad. I hope she can believe you.*I hope so too. I was rejecting her cuz I didn't want her 'stuff'. I should know better than to be like that. No wonder she feels bad. I still don't want to know her stuff though.
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> Maybe you’re afraid your T will think she’s bad, or that you’re bad. But I think your T can help. I know what you mean about it being controversial. But even if you have no clue where it comes from, it’s still there. And it’s OK not to know, or not to remember.*I didn't tell my T her words, but I faxed her about how she felt(I think I called her , it). And that I sorta understood why she was ashamed. I don't think my T really knows that She knows stuff that i don't. But i told her that too. I don't think my T knows just how much she is She and not me. She is and she isn't. Its an odd thing.
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> Yeah, I’m sure that when she’s happy things are better. And if you really think she wants you to tell your T, perhaps that would help. You don’t have to understand it yet. That’s part of what therapy is for; to help us understand a bit better…
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*Sigh.....its all very weird. Its all her stuff, but I think she's intruding on me and I'm trying really hard to avoid but not hurt her. She's me but she's separate. I can't really communicate with her. Its so confusing. i don't want her 'stuff'.But I guess its mine too after all and if I want to be whole and stop the chewing I guess I'll have to deal with her and her 'stuff'.
SH*T.
Thanks Tamar for all your help, its great.
Muffled
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poster:muffled
thread:577272
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051107/msgs/577847.html