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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by pinkeye on July 14, 2005, at 18:26:05
I have finally come to the conclusion, that what my ex T did was for the best. For both of us.
It hurt me a lot in the past 6 months, but now I am in a much better position. It ended up triggering so many things, that I ended up exploring myself very deeply with the help of my current T and with babblers, and now I am quite free of many issues that I had before 6 months with my dad and csa and stuff.
And I was really struggling even before my ex T terminated me, by many issues - guilt feelings about writing to him, about sharing everything about my husband with him without his knowledge, not being able to loyal to my husband, and feeling guilty about it myself, not being able to control myself from writing, and feeling bad when he didn't reply, and I was not getting in depth therapy done which I needed anyway through emails.
So considering everything, what ended up happening worked out for my good in the end. And I am sure he is better now as well - free of being obligated to me, and his own dilemma about whether to continue to support me through emails after retiring, and whether it is ethical or unethical, whether he was making a special exception just for me and is acting against my best interests and his best interests. He must also have thought about it several times. And he had completely lost interest in being a therapist anyway, so maybe he was not able to help himself from getting bored.
So all in all, I think in the end it worked out to be the best. It could have probably been handled in a different way, with a gradual termination or smoother termination, but well, atleast I managed to come out of it well.
Posted by Tamar on July 14, 2005, at 19:51:16
In reply to What happened with my ex T was for the best !!, posted by pinkeye on July 14, 2005, at 18:26:05
It's great that you've come to that conclusion, pinkeye. I know it's been a long, hard struggle for you. It seems to me that you've made a lot of progress in the last few months. You've been working so hard on it all!
Congratulations.
Tamar
Posted by happyflower on July 14, 2005, at 20:51:41
In reply to What happened with my ex T was for the best !!, posted by pinkeye on July 14, 2005, at 18:26:05
I am glad you are getting some sort of resolution about all this. I see all your posts and something has changed in you. You should be proud of yourself! :)
Posted by pinkeye on July 15, 2005, at 18:21:12
In reply to Re: What happened with my ex T was for the best !!, posted by happyflower on July 14, 2005, at 20:51:41
Yeah, it took a lot of hard struggle to come to this point.. But I think I have perhaps stopped caring that much. Somehow have started feeling it is not worth it to go through so much of hurt and pain.. And I think he never really cared too much anyway either.. he did care a little bit as his patient, but didn't really bother too much about me I think.. otherwise he wouldn't have let me suffer like that irrespective of questions about ethics and all that .. it is just impossible for anyone to keep completely silent when a person you care goes through so much of pain. And maybe it is quite fair... And it is only fair that I end up minding my own business focussing on building my life with my husband instead of trying to work through transference etc.... Good for me, good for my ex T, good for everyone.
Posted by Jen Star on July 15, 2005, at 21:32:40
In reply to What happened with my ex T was for the best !!, posted by pinkeye on July 14, 2005, at 18:26:05
Pinkeye,
it's good to hear that you found resolution. BUT...(and I hate to be a spoilsport - sorry in advance!) -- you've said similar things before, indicating that you were past the ex-T issues, and then they were triggered again. I hope that you are able to continue the journey towards strength, and that if the negative feelings come up again, that you're able to deal with them quicker and quicker each time. I know that your relationship with your ex-T was powerful and strong, and I'm glad to see that you're breaking free. It's so hard to do, and please don't give yourself a hard time if you need more time to fully deal with it. And I'll never get tired of listening. :)take care!
JenStar
Posted by pinkeye on July 15, 2005, at 22:02:42
In reply to Re: What happened with my ex T was for the best !! » pinkeye, posted by Jen Star on July 15, 2005, at 21:32:40
Thanks JenStar
Yeah, I know I have said the same things before, and I went back to the same old pattern again.. !! Thanks for understanding that. !! And thanks for allowing me go back and work through it again if needed again.
Hopefully I don't have to go through it again and if I have to, it will be much less painful and of much shorter duration.
Pinkeye
> Pinkeye,
> it's good to hear that you found resolution. BUT...(and I hate to be a spoilsport - sorry in advance!) -- you've said similar things before, indicating that you were past the ex-T issues, and then they were triggered again. I hope that you are able to continue the journey towards strength, and that if the negative feelings come up again, that you're able to deal with them quicker and quicker each time. I know that your relationship with your ex-T was powerful and strong, and I'm glad to see that you're breaking free. It's so hard to do, and please don't give yourself a hard time if you need more time to fully deal with it. And I'll never get tired of listening. :)
>
> take care!
> JenStar
This is the end of the thread.
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