Posted by pinkeye on July 14, 2005, at 18:26:05
I have finally come to the conclusion, that what my ex T did was for the best. For both of us.
It hurt me a lot in the past 6 months, but now I am in a much better position. It ended up triggering so many things, that I ended up exploring myself very deeply with the help of my current T and with babblers, and now I am quite free of many issues that I had before 6 months with my dad and csa and stuff.
And I was really struggling even before my ex T terminated me, by many issues - guilt feelings about writing to him, about sharing everything about my husband with him without his knowledge, not being able to loyal to my husband, and feeling guilty about it myself, not being able to control myself from writing, and feeling bad when he didn't reply, and I was not getting in depth therapy done which I needed anyway through emails.
So considering everything, what ended up happening worked out for my good in the end. And I am sure he is better now as well - free of being obligated to me, and his own dilemma about whether to continue to support me through emails after retiring, and whether it is ethical or unethical, whether he was making a special exception just for me and is acting against my best interests and his best interests. He must also have thought about it several times. And he had completely lost interest in being a therapist anyway, so maybe he was not able to help himself from getting bored.
So all in all, I think in the end it worked out to be the best. It could have probably been handled in a different way, with a gradual termination or smoother termination, but well, atleast I managed to come out of it well.
poster:pinkeye
thread:527664
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050706/msgs/527664.html