Shown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by pinkeye on May 14, 2005, at 16:26:38
I have started wondering, if there is even any point in therapy hereafter. All these regressions, talking about childhood, father issues, etc etc.. has brought out lot of stuff hidden deep underneath - lot of fear, anger, and hurt, and everything. All the bad things which I never wanted to face.
I am so very scared this past one week - pretty much shivering with fear many nights. And I am crying crying.
What is the point of all this? I was atleast functional before.
Plus I have a very deep phobia I guess about returning to my country, and that is making things extremely worse.
IS there any point in doing all these regression therapy? Has any one ever got anything by looking back, and understanding and has anyone been able to change the deepest fears and hurt and stuff?
Any inputs? Should I continue to dig deeper or "close the grave" - so to speak and move on? I think I may not have too much time here as well - maybe 2 more months of therapy.. Wonder what is the right time to start moving on?
My T keeps digging more and more - and it is making me very less functional in my job, and I am extremely scared most of the times. I have lot of fear about health, money, relationships, etc, and it is all coming back.
I am wondering if anyone has got any full cure from this kind of regression therapy?
Posted by Tamar on May 14, 2005, at 17:00:20
In reply to Has Anyone Ever Got Cured Fully?, posted by pinkeye on May 14, 2005, at 16:26:38
I think the answer to your question depends on your expectations. I stopped seeing my T two months ago, and most of the time I don’t feel depressed any more. There are times when I feel down, but I’m able to cope with it so much better than before.
But I definitely found it got harder before it got easier. When I was very depressed I was numb and just didn’t feel very much. When I was in therapy I felt everything, and most of it hurt.
Talking about painful things from my past was certainly very difficult, and even now some of it is still painful. I’m just better able to manage the pain now without becoming seriously depressed.
Therapy can’t change the past and it can’t make all the pain go away. But it can help us understand where the pain came from and how it’s affecting us now. And instead of denying and minimising these horrible experiences we can begin to acknowledge the pain and start to deal with it.
> IS there any point in doing all these regression therapy? Has any one ever got anything by looking back, and understanding and has anyone been able to change the deepest fears and hurt and stuff?
Yes and no. I can’t change what happened, but I have been able to change how I deal with it. It still hurts, but it’s no longer unbearable.
> Any inputs? Should I continue to dig deeper or "close the grave" - so to speak and move on? I think I may not have too much time here as well - maybe 2 more months of therapy.. Wonder what is the right time to start moving on?
It seems to me as if you’ve been making a lot of progress. I know it’s hard at the moment, but it will get easier. I don’t think you should give up at this point.
> My T keeps digging more and more - and it is making me very less functional in my job, and I am extremely scared most of the times. I have lot of fear about health, money, relationships, etc, and it is all coming back.
I think the fears probably won’t go away if you stop doing therapy. But I think you should talk to your T about how to keep functioning in your job and in everyday life, because it can be very difficult.
I hope it starts to get easier for you soon.
Posted by pinkeye on May 14, 2005, at 17:24:57
In reply to Re: Has Anyone Ever Got Cured Fully? » pinkeye, posted by Tamar on May 14, 2005, at 17:00:20
Thanks Tamar for your response. I understand what you are saying.
Good thing from this therapy is I never understood how really crappy I was. I always had confused myself why I seem to understand everything but yet emotionally I struggled so much. Now atleast I am able to see that I need to emotionally grow up.
I will talk to my current T about how to do things in parallel with therapy. I think I was the one who replied to I think Whirlpool's question about how people take care of too many things in parallel with therapy, but now I am finding that I am not capable of doing it myself.
Posted by antigua on May 17, 2005, at 12:43:54
In reply to Has Anyone Ever Got Cured Fully?, posted by pinkeye on May 14, 2005, at 16:26:38
Good question. One I wrestle with a lot at various times w/therapy. It is incredibly painful, but even if I had to stop today I am a much healthier and happier individual and that may be all I will ever have. But today is good.
I'm closing in on the end of therapy (oh, maybe 5 years away??) and even if things aren't all resolved, I will be living a better life.I just wanted to mention that if you have limited time with your T, you may want to begin to talk about termination (policies, procedures, etc.)with your T so that you find closure, in whatever way possible, before you leave. It may help to ease the transition.
best,
antigua
Posted by Jazzed on May 17, 2005, at 20:59:26
In reply to Re: Has Anyone Ever Got Cured Fully?, posted by antigua on May 17, 2005, at 12:43:54
I stopped going to therapy years ago, but have been considering going back because, after our last child, things have become very stressful. I'm a pretty strong person, but I think we can all benefit from therapy if it's used productively. I think kids can benefit as well as adults. Who couldn't benefit from learning how to cope a little better, or just to have someone who will boost you up when you need it.
As far as being fully cured, I guess that depends on your expectations, like others have said. If you are basically happy and pretty independant, then you're doing well. I"m sorry, I'm still learning who's who, and am not really familiar with everyone, but who is really fully well? Even therapists have problems, but they cope the best they can, some better than others. I'm rambling here, so I'll stop.
Jazzed
Posted by Dinah on May 17, 2005, at 21:05:14
In reply to Re: Has Anyone Ever Got Cured Fully?, posted by Jazzed on May 17, 2005, at 20:59:26
Nice to meet you.
Let's see. I know you at least have a baby and a teenage daughter. :) That's certainly reason enough to be stressed!
I agree. I wish coping skills were universally taught. But since they're not, a bit of therapy would be helpful for a lot of kids.
Posted by Jazzed on May 18, 2005, at 11:53:28
In reply to Hi! » Jazzed, posted by Dinah on May 17, 2005, at 21:05:14
> Nice to meet you.
>
> Let's see. I know you at least have a baby and a teenage daughter. :) That's certainly reason enough to be stressed!
>
> I agree. I wish coping skills were universally taught. But since they're not, a bit of therapy would be helpful for a lot of kids.Hi Dinah,
and thanks for the welcome. I have 4 kids and a nice guy for a husband, although since the birth of the 2 year old it's been stressful, and we've talked about separation. The 2 year old has behavior problems that make the whole house chaotic and hard for everyone.
A little about me..... I was really hyper as a kid, always in "trouble". My dad beat me into submission, more verbally than physically, but that too. So my self esteem suffered a lot, and I didn't trust men at all, thought they were all like my dad. As a teen-ager I got into a bad therapy situation after being beat up and sexually abused by 3 guys from my school. I hated the shrink, and refused to talk to him, so I got 2 labels - depression, and opositional. Actually my biggest problem was hormonally induced migraine headaches, which the shrink refused to acknowledge or treat. I was mostly depressed because the shrink was taking away everything I loved by putting me on medication that made me a zombie - Elavil is the one I remember, but there were others. I didn't take the medication willingly, but had it forced down my throat by my dad. Over time I couldn't participate in any of my many activities because I was either at therapy or so f-*** tired I just wanted to sleep. Anyway, that went on for over 2 years. Toward the end of it I felt SO trapped, and like my life had been taken away from me, so, in anger, I cut my wrists. Big mistake I still live with, and hate. Then, fortunately, I was in a bad car wreck that landed me in the hospital for 10 weeks, and in the care of a great neurologist who took me off all the crap and gave my parents hell for going along with it, and not having the migraines treated. There's of course much more to it (another car wreck - hit by an 18 wheeler), but I think all the bad stuff made me stronger in the long run. I do have anxiety and mild hormonal depression, as well as ADD.
Jazzed
Posted by sunny10 on May 18, 2005, at 16:00:29
In reply to Re: Hi! ****might trigger****** » Dinah, posted by Jazzed on May 18, 2005, at 11:53:28
I'm sorry to hear you had to go through all of that. And i'm very happy that you've found Babble and can now talk freely about these things.
One thing really jumped out at me, as a mom with a child with ADHD. It sounds possible that your son may have inherited your ADD. A disruptive child certainly can make a home difficult- and a marriage too, as the parents usually wind up arguing about what to do about the child's behavior. Plus there is exhaustion- I was WAY too tired to even THINK about sex! I can only assume that the same things are true for you at this point.
I live in PA, USA and I went to the county's Intermediate Unit for testing on my son when he was only a little older than yours is now. I didn't want to at all, but he had already been kicked out of three daycare centers and the fourth was threatening to throw him out, too, if we didn't agree to have him tested and medicated if they were correct. Unfortunately they were correct. I didn't want to put my child on meds. I fought it every which way I could think of, but by then I was divorcing and HAD to work and there were no grandparents to watch my son. He HAD to go on the meds.
I have to say that they work. I don't LIKE it, but they work. My son learned to play with others, to sit in his place on the mat when it was reading time, no longer darted out of the classroom to go running unattended down the halls. And it didn't affect his abilities, either. As a matter of fact, when new computer software came into the center, the director would come get my son to install it on their computer! He is a smart kid (proud mom moment) and I hate that he has ADHD and that we have to medicate him for it, but he has a chance at a future now that he never did before.
If you think this may be true of your sweet, disruptive tyke, get him tested, even if it's only for your knowledge and you can stay at home and work with him through the therapies that the county's wrap-around services provided to my child (they went to daycare with him, then to the first half of kindergarten, too). A mom can always do a better job, but if you're like me and work, there are those who will help you with this.
For yourself, it sounds like you now have your own emotional situation firmly in hand and are dealing with it. I had to do that, too. Welcome aboard the train!!! Hope you jump off sooner than I!! I'm apparently a slow learner...
By the way, I usually tell all new people that my opinions are strictly my own and you may feel free to think I am blowing all of this out of my b*tt !!!
smile-
sunny10
Posted by Dinah on May 18, 2005, at 18:52:05
In reply to Re: Hi! ****might trigger****** » Dinah, posted by Jazzed on May 18, 2005, at 11:53:28
Thanks for sharing your story. It helps me feel like I know you better.
They found the answer to your migraines? Someone I know has a daughter who is going through monstrous migraines, and they've been stymied in trying to help her. I get them myself, but my fabulous wonderful sainted neurologist is only for adults. She has made such a huge difference in my life, though.
I had to go to a psychiatrist for a year when I was just barely a teen. I felt the same way you did. I was so angry at being forced to see a psychiatrist when it was so obviously the world who had a problem, not me. I spent the year trying to think of ways not to tell him anything of importance. He had me on Thorazine.
I think Sunny has a great idea about your two year old. A good evaluation might be helpful, even at that age.
Babble also has a relationship board and a parenting board if you'd also like to talk about those issues. Neither has gotten all the way off the ground yet, but every board needs to start sometime. :)
I'm glad you found your way to Babble.
Did you say you had just started with a new therapist?
I'm ten years with mine. Wow. Still hard to believe.
Posted by Jazzed on May 19, 2005, at 8:00:38
In reply to Re: Hi! ****might trigger******, posted by sunny10 on May 18, 2005, at 16:00:29
> I'm sorry to hear you had to go through all of that. And i'm very happy that you've found Babble and can now talk freely about these things.
>
> One thing really jumped out at me, as a mom with a child with ADHD. It sounds possible that your son may have inherited your ADD. A disruptive child certainly can make a home difficult- and a marriage too, as the parents usually wind up arguing about what to do about the child's behavior. Plus there is exhaustion- I was WAY too tired to even THINK about sex! I can only assume that the same things are true for you at this point.
>
> By the way, I usually tell all new people that my opinions are strictly my own and you may feel free to think I am blowing all of this out of my b*tt !!!
>
> smile-
> sunny10Hi Sunny,
Thanks for your opinion, I appreciate it. I tend to be the same way, I offer mine for whatever it might be worth, and hope it's helpful.
Anyway, there are 6 of us in our family, and we ALL have diagnosed ADHD! LOL Makes for some interesting, but chaotic, days! All but my husband are on medication for ADD, even the toddler. He's not on stimulants, but is on something to help with the impulsiveness and aggression. The meds help the three older kids a lot, and it's been a good thing particularly for our oldest son. He had a lot of problems paying attention in school, and it's been like night and day for him. In the girls it's more subtle, but helps them concentrate.
My guess is that, when I was a teen, I should've been diagnosed with ADD instead of Oppositional because I wasn't oppsitional, I was just pissed off at the situation. Neither here nor there now. I'm glad to have found this forum too.
Jazzed
Posted by Jazzed on May 19, 2005, at 8:08:52
In reply to Re: Hi! ****might trigger****** » Jazzed, posted by Dinah on May 18, 2005, at 18:52:05
> Thanks for sharing your story. It helps me feel like I know you better.
>
> They found the answer to your migraines? Someone I know has a daughter who is going through monstrous migraines, and they've been stymied in trying to help her. I get them myself, but my fabulous wonderful sainted neurologist is only for adults. She has made such a huge difference in my life, though.
>
> I had to go to a psychiatrist for a year when I was just barely a teen. I felt the same way you did. I was so angry at being forced to see a psychiatrist when it was so obviously the world who had a problem, not me. I spent the year trying to think of ways not to tell him anything of importance. He had me on Thorazine.
>
> I think Sunny has a great idea about your two year old. A good evaluation might be helpful, even at that age.
>
> Babble also has a relationship board and a parenting board if you'd also like to talk about those issues. Neither has gotten all the way off the ground yet, but every board needs to start sometime. :)
>
> I'm glad you found your way to Babble.
>
> Did you say you had just started with a new therapist?
>
> I'm ten years with mine. Wow. Still hard to believe.Hi Dinah,
Thanks again for your warm welcome. When I got with the neurologist, he tried more obvious treatments for my migraines, which worked wonders. I'm on Midrin, and have been since I was with him. I hope your friends are able to help their daughter. Migraines are awful, aren't they?
Thorazine, huh? Nasty stuff! I was on Elavil and Mellaril, and it made me a zombie. The neurologist was SO pissed off when he found out what the shrink had put me on. I was like you, I had no interest in being there, was angry, and avoided conversations with him. He used to play solitaire during my appts. or he would come and sit right next to me and try to get me to cry.
Weird!As you might have read, everyone in our family has been diagnosed with ADHD, even the toddler, so we are constantly working on something. I currently only have a p-doc, but hope to start therapy again in the fall. I need to figure out why exactly I want to go back though. I'm not quite sure. Anyway, over the summer we'll have my oldest daughter, and oldest son in therapy. All of it gets expensive. Between drs. appts. and meds. we'll be at about $600 a month! Yikes!
Jazzed
Posted by sunny10 on May 19, 2005, at 8:53:31
In reply to Re: Hi! ****might trigger****** » sunny10, posted by Jazzed on May 19, 2005, at 8:00:38
yeah, I think if I was growing up today that I would be dx'd ADHD, too...
Posted by Jazzed on May 19, 2005, at 12:09:11
In reply to Re: Hi! ****might trigger******, posted by sunny10 on May 19, 2005, at 8:53:31
> yeah, I think if I was growing up today that I would be dx'd ADHD, too...
>
>Are you ADD? If so, no harm in getting meds for it now. I look at it like tweaking my brain to make me as productive as possible.
Jazzed
Posted by sunny10 on May 19, 2005, at 14:37:01
In reply to Re: Hi! ****might trigger****** » sunny10, posted by Jazzed on May 19, 2005, at 12:09:11
no, GAD with long-cycling Recurrent Major Depressive Disorder...
though I gotta say that I am definitely less productive these days due to the anxiety...
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