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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by pinkeye on February 2, 2005, at 16:28:43
I am feeling very tired and low. Feel like going to someplace remote - and just sleep for a long time. Like a bear - go to arctic pole and hibernate for 6 months with nobody around.
Posted by namaste on February 2, 2005, at 20:18:14
In reply to very tired and down, posted by pinkeye on February 2, 2005, at 16:28:43
> I am feeling very tired and low. Feel like going to someplace remote - and just sleep for a long time. Like a bear - go to arctic pole and hibernate for 6 months with nobody around.
>You sounded all together from your posts. Sorry you feel so down tonight. Me too but i got the lonelys so going with nobody around to the artic doesn't sound so good to me but sleeping does... all cozy and warm with the mind silenced like in hibernating (i guess), does a bear get depressed? I read on Yahoo news today that monkeys do. I saw my T today and i always miss her badly afterwards(ancient feelings but her too), it is such a powerful feeling when someone really listens to you and cares about you.. Feel better,things always change tommorrow is full of mystery. Who knows maybe happiness????
Posted by pinkeye on February 2, 2005, at 20:59:03
In reply to Re: very tired and down, posted by namaste on February 2, 2005, at 20:18:14
thank you. I am not all together. just trying to be. I had to let go of my t last week. trying to find my footing again. feeling very very down. i don't know if I will ever be able to contact him again.
Posted by namaste on February 2, 2005, at 21:32:56
In reply to Re: very tired and down, posted by pinkeye on February 2, 2005, at 20:59:03
Wow that is really tough, too bad T can't connect you with another, no contact is so abrupt. Probably another T feels too difficult but sounds like you need to talk, bad. at least you could talk about your loss? I am feeling so sad at just not seeing my T for a week!!! I feel your pain. My T is my anchor.Some of your posts sounded so together as it sounded like you learned alot of insight from your T. I looked for them as I learn to accept this disease of depression. I am so sorry.Morning will come, it always does. peace.
Posted by gardenergirl on February 2, 2005, at 21:57:35
In reply to Re: very tired and down, posted by pinkeye on February 2, 2005, at 20:59:03
That sounds very difficult. No wonder you are feeling down. I hope things turn around for you. In the meantime, take gentle care of yourself.
gg
Posted by Dinah on February 3, 2005, at 9:31:59
In reply to Re: very tired and down, posted by pinkeye on February 2, 2005, at 20:59:03
Your old therapist you mean? I know how much you cared. That must be very difficult for you.
Allow yourself time to grieve that. It's a loss as real as any other loss.
Posted by pinkeye on February 3, 2005, at 13:17:38
In reply to Re: very tired and down, posted by namaste on February 2, 2005, at 21:32:56
Thanks namaste. I do have another T and she is good.
But I was very much attached to my old T and still am. I had an excellent experience with him, and it has been a smooth termination. But still I feel sad.> Wow that is really tough, too bad T can't connect you with another, no contact is so abrupt. Probably another T feels too difficult but sounds like you need to talk, bad. at least you could talk about your loss? I am feeling so sad at just not seeing my T for a week!!! I feel your pain. My T is my anchor.Some of your posts sounded so together as it sounded like you learned alot of insight from your T. I looked for them as I learn to accept this disease of depression. I am so sorry.Morning will come, it always does. peace.
Posted by pinkeye on February 3, 2005, at 13:19:09
In reply to Re: very tired and down » pinkeye, posted by gardenergirl on February 2, 2005, at 21:57:35
> That sounds very difficult. No wonder you are feeling down. I hope things turn around for you. In the meantime, take gentle care of yourself.
>
> ggThank you gg. Very nice to hear some warm words now. Can't stop tears in my eyes whenever I think of him. Do you keep in touch with your previous patients? Do you allow them to write to you once in a while?
Posted by pinkeye on February 3, 2005, at 13:23:45
In reply to Re: very tired and down » pinkeye, posted by Dinah on February 3, 2005, at 9:31:59
> Your old therapist you mean? I know how much you cared. That must be very difficult for you.
>
> Allow yourself time to grieve that. It's a loss as real as any other loss.Yeah I mean him. Thank you for remembering how much I cared about him. I still do. After lot of time of trickling down and me connecting with my new T well enough, he finally let me go. He has probably helped me the most in my life - maybe next only to my parents. It is very very hard to think I may not be able to see him or have any contact with him in the future.
Posted by gardenergirl on February 3, 2005, at 20:51:45
In reply to Re: very tired and down » gardenergirl, posted by pinkeye on February 3, 2005, at 13:19:09
>
> Thank you gg. Very nice to hear some warm words now. Can't stop tears in my eyes whenever I think of him. Do you keep in touch with your previous patients? Do you allow them to write to you once in a while?There is one former client who emails me now and then. I was a bit tentative at first, but now it seems to be back and forth in a friendly manner that seems appropriate. I also invited someone I had to terminate with recently due to insurance issues to email me an update down the road, if she wished. It's nice to hear from former clients, but I do get a bit nervous that contact might keep some aspect of the therapeutic relationship alive in a way that might not be healthy.
It is sad, though, when the relationship ends. On both sides. My T recently said something about how engaging in a therapeutic relationship requires sacrificing any other potential relationship...again on both sides. I was very touched when he said that to me.
(((pinkeye)))
gg
>
Posted by pinkeye on February 3, 2005, at 21:08:04
In reply to Re: very tired and down » pinkeye, posted by gardenergirl on February 3, 2005, at 20:51:45
Thanks gg. It is very very sad isn't it? I don't know how you do it - reach out and know everything about a person and then just let that person go. Even if you don't like 99 % of your patients, you might still like 1 % very much don't you? It must be awfully hard being a T. Atleast I have one person whom I have to let go - you guys have so many persons who you have to constantly let go. I would never have gotten into a profession which requires so much emotional strain for me.
For me also it is extremely hard. I have never been this close to anyone in life and it seems so damn stupid that the only reason you got so close is to be able to let go at somepoint. I would never have gotten into it in the first place if I knew it would end up being so hard. If I had a choice, I would have chosen some 50 something, very ugly looking therapist - so I wouldn't have had any difficulty in letting go. A capable one definitely, but someone I would never even dream of hanging out with after that. Anyway, once you make a mistake you realize it - now I chose a woman in her 45 s to 50. Glad that I chose this way.
>
> There is one former client who emails me now and then. I was a bit tentative at first, but now it seems to be back and forth in a friendly manner that seems appropriate. I also invited someone I had to terminate with recently due to insurance issues to email me an update down the road, if she wished. It's nice to hear from former clients, but I do get a bit nervous that contact might keep some aspect of the therapeutic relationship alive in a way that might not be healthy.
>
> It is sad, though, when the relationship ends. On both sides. My T recently said something about how engaging in a therapeutic relationship requires sacrificing any other potential relationship...again on both sides. I was very touched when he said that to me.
>
> (((pinkeye)))
>
> gg
> >
>
>
Posted by Daisym on February 4, 2005, at 10:32:00
In reply to Re: very tired and down, posted by pinkeye on February 3, 2005, at 21:08:04
>>>>>For me also it is extremely hard. I have never been this close to anyone in life and it seems so damn stupid that the only reason you got so close is to be able to let go at somepoint. I would never have gotten into it in the first place if I knew it would end up being so hard. If I had a choice, I would have chosen some 50 something, very ugly looking therapist - so I wouldn't have had any difficulty in letting go. A capable one definitely, but someone I would never even dream of hanging out with after that. Anyway, once you make a mistake you realize it - now I chose a woman in her 45 s to 50. Glad that I chose this way.
<<<<Do you really think this ultimately matters? I think by revealing your inner self and connecting on such a deep level, your spirit and their spirit connect, so physical stuff isn't what you miss when they aren't with you. It is the feeling of safety and acceptance (and care and...) But I totally agree with you about being set up to get hurt. No matter how well the therapy goes, it is supposed to move towards termination, or at least seeing your therapist a lot less, perhaps for "tune ups" now and again. This thought just makes me reel, it scares the bigeebees out of me.
My therapist says that you will find that you ease yourself off when it is time. You will feel ready to let go. I'm imagining years and years.
I'm sorry you are hurting. I call this "tender grief" -- soft sadness that just pervades everthing. Try to do something nice for yourself.
Hugs from me,
Daisy
Posted by pinkeye on February 4, 2005, at 12:40:27
In reply to Re: very tired and down, posted by Daisym on February 4, 2005, at 10:32:00
Thanks Daisy. I am not sure it ultimately matters - but I think it will. There is a huge difference for me from being connected to someone I am not attracted to versus being connected to + attracted to the same person. The latter is much more harder to let go of than the former. I would never have the same kind of despair when I leave my current T - it will be fairly painless - I will feel sad definitely at losing an important person in life, but I wonder if it would ever be a relationship for me with her.
<<<<Do you really think this ultimately matters? I think by revealing your inner self and connecting on such a deep level, your spirit and their spirit connect, so physical stuff isn't what you miss when they aren't with you. It is the feeling of safety and acceptance (and care and...) But I totally agree with you about being set up to get hurt. No matter how well the therapy goes, it is supposed to move towards termination, or at least seeing your therapist a lot less, perhaps for "tune ups" now and again. This thought just makes me reel, it scares the bigeebees out of me.
>
> My therapist says that you will find that you ease yourself off when it is time. You will feel ready to let go. I'm imagining years and years.
>
> I'm sorry you are hurting. I call this "tender grief" -- soft sadness that just pervades everthing. Try to do something nice for yourself.
>
> Hugs from me,
> Daisy
This is the end of the thread.
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