![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 3 to 27 of 51. Go back in thread:
Posted by lonelygal2 on January 28, 2005, at 11:31:54
In reply to Re: (((((Dinah))))), posted by All Done on January 28, 2005, at 11:30:53
how so?
i'm sure you didn't get thrown out like me. sorry i'm still bitter.
Posted by sunny10 on January 28, 2005, at 11:47:21
In reply to Re: (((((Dinah))))), posted by lonelygal2 on January 28, 2005, at 11:31:54
what do you mean by might have quit??
Posted by gardenergirl on January 28, 2005, at 11:48:49
In reply to Re: (((((Dinah))))), posted by sunny10 on January 28, 2005, at 11:47:21
WHAT???? Oh my. I hope it has nothing to do with a need to unleash the furies. Please say he didn't betray your trust that way.
But oh my. Are you okay? Shoot, how can you be okay. Let us know when you can.
gg
Posted by B2Chica on January 28, 2005, at 12:29:46
In reply to I think I might have quit therapy, posted by Dinah on January 28, 2005, at 11:11:54
Please (((((((Dinah))))))))
let us know if you are ok.
b2c.
Posted by mair on January 28, 2005, at 12:35:48
In reply to Re: (((((Dinah))))), posted by gardenergirl on January 28, 2005, at 11:48:49
Since you haven't said anything here lately which would indicate this was in the offing, I'm assuming it was a somewhat rash decision, easily reconsidered. But something pretty big must have prompted this - something he must have done to upset you terribly. Please fill us in when you can. Does this have anything to do with wanting more therapy than he might be willing to give?
In the meantime, of course we're all thinking about you.
Mair
Posted by partlycloudy on January 28, 2005, at 12:46:01
In reply to I think I might have quit therapy, posted by Dinah on January 28, 2005, at 11:11:54
Posted by 10derHeart on January 28, 2005, at 12:49:27
In reply to Re: (((((Dinah))))), posted by gardenergirl on January 28, 2005, at 11:48:49
Dinah,Oh dear. We're worried. Hope you feel like posting a little bit soon. please...? HUGE HUGS {{{{{{10der}}}}
Posted by rubenstein on January 28, 2005, at 13:04:00
In reply to Re: (((((Dinah))))), posted by 10derHeart on January 28, 2005, at 12:49:27
I am so sorry
I am thinking of you
rubenstein
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 28, 2005, at 14:54:01
In reply to Re: (((((Dinah))))), posted by 10derHeart on January 28, 2005, at 12:49:27
Posted by antigua on January 28, 2005, at 15:02:41
In reply to Re: (((((Dinah))))), posted by rubenstein on January 28, 2005, at 13:04:00
We're all getting even more worried about you!! Please let us know how we can help just as soon as you are able.
antigua
Posted by Susan47 on January 28, 2005, at 15:38:46
In reply to Re: (((((Dinah))))), posted by antigua on January 28, 2005, at 15:02:41
Posted by Dinah on January 28, 2005, at 16:00:25
In reply to Re: (((((Dinah))))) (nm), posted by Susan47 on January 28, 2005, at 15:38:46
I called him to find out if he considered it a quitting. Six hours later I haven't heard from him so I'm sort of guessing I did.
I guess it's vaguely possible he's been in an accident or something.
I've been at work, and have to go back there. I'm failing on those deadlines and just came home because I'd forgotten something.
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 28, 2005, at 17:58:27
In reply to Well, I suppose I did quit, posted by Dinah on January 28, 2005, at 16:00:25
Dinah when you can please fill us in....I am lost...do you not remember quitting or ???? HUGS
> I called him to find out if he considered it a quitting. Six hours later I haven't heard from him so I'm sort of guessing I did.
>
> I guess it's vaguely possible he's been in an accident or something.
>
> I've been at work, and have to go back there. I'm failing on those deadlines and just came home because I'd forgotten something.
Posted by tryingtobewise on January 28, 2005, at 19:25:35
In reply to Well, I suppose I did quit, posted by Dinah on January 28, 2005, at 16:00:25
Hi Dinah,
From what I've read, you have a pretty strong relationship with your T. I'm sure he won't "enforce" your quitting if you have changed your mind.
Good luck & hang in there.
Kim
Posted by Susan47 on January 28, 2005, at 19:55:12
In reply to Re: Well, I suppose I did quit, posted by tryingtobewise on January 28, 2005, at 19:25:35
I thought Dinah got a new T recently. didn't she? I wish she'd tell us what happened. It sounds so traumatic. I feel bad for Dinah. I hope she's going to be okay. I hope her T shows her the respect of at least giving her a conversation about it.
Posted by mair on January 28, 2005, at 20:32:19
In reply to Re: Well, I suppose I did quit, posted by Susan47 on January 28, 2005, at 19:55:12
No Susan, Dinah has been working with this same therapist for about 10 years.
Mair
Posted by Dinah on January 28, 2005, at 20:39:40
In reply to Re: Well, I suppose I did quit » Susan47, posted by mair on January 28, 2005, at 20:32:19
In fact he hadn't understood anything I've said for the past two days. He had some vague awareness I was upset with him, but no idea why. He hadn't caught on at all that I had quit, although I thought I had said it in plain English, and he was bewildered why I was wondering if he would take me back.
He wants me to come in and explain it to him.
I got awfully scared a while after I quit, so I suppose I'll go see him.
What happened doesn't matter. What matters is that I don't lose him. I'm such a worm.
Posted by Susan47 on January 28, 2005, at 21:19:09
In reply to He hadn't noticed, posted by Dinah on January 28, 2005, at 20:39:40
Oh lordy Dinah, it sounds like he plain wasn't listening.
Posted by Susan47 on January 28, 2005, at 21:19:35
In reply to He hadn't noticed, posted by Dinah on January 28, 2005, at 20:39:40
I hope I'm wrong, keep alert, Dinah. Or not, if I'm wrong about that too.
Posted by Shortelise on January 28, 2005, at 21:21:09
In reply to He hadn't noticed, posted by Dinah on January 28, 2005, at 20:39:40
YOU ARE NOT A WORM. YOU ARE A HUMAN BEING, A VERY HUMAN BEING.
Sorry that I'm yelling. It's just that you really are not a worm.
Hugs ShortE
Posted by mair on January 28, 2005, at 21:39:17
In reply to He hadn't noticed, posted by Dinah on January 28, 2005, at 20:39:40
Tell him to pay more attention. Although it's always tough for me to know whether my T just doesn't "get" me when she should, or whether she doesn't "get" me because i'm communicating so poorly and think she should be a mind reader.
Dinah - you are not a worm, but you need to have a little more trust in him and a little more regard for yourself to realize that he feels a real sense of commitment to you.
Unless I was misunderstanding her, my T I thought told me once that she would view my quitting as a part of the process and not as an irrevocable decision. I used to worry that if I quit, or took a break she'd never take me back. Of course she also told me yesterday that I should feel free to express any negative sentiment about her I felt including that I wanted to kill her. Righttt - like I'd ever say that even if I felt it.
Please keep us posted and please please be a bit kinder to yourself.
Mair
Posted by fallsfall on January 28, 2005, at 21:49:38
In reply to He hadn't noticed, posted by Dinah on January 28, 2005, at 20:39:40
Yes, go see him.
Think of it as an educational opportunity for you. You got a chance to "quit" and figure out how you would feel if you did that, without actually upsetting him.
Why is it that you wanted to quit?
I hate it when they know that something is up, but they don't admit that they haven't a clue what we are talking about. How often do they do that (not have a clue what we are talking about)? Do we just think they understand because they say "Uh huh" so convincingly?
But then again, they will sometimes come up with a comment that is *so* dead on. So sometimes they must be understanding...
You can't have forever therapy if you quit, you know...
Love,
Falls.
Posted by alexandra_k on January 29, 2005, at 1:23:24
In reply to He hadn't noticed, posted by Dinah on January 28, 2005, at 20:39:40
Well phew, I'm glad when you said he hadn't noticed! I mean I would have been horrified if he had heard you quit and just kind of said 'oh well, goodbye then' and let you walk out of there like that and that was that.
But how on earth did he miss that one?
Did he just assume that you weren't going to feel the same way the next day, or didn't he hear you or something?He had 'some vague awareness' you were upset with him. Well Jeepers, guys eh?
Oh Dinah. I am not meaning to make light of this. You scaired the hell out of me given what you have said about ending therapy with this t before. Really. I am so very glad that you are alive and telling us about what is going on.
Maybe your therapy has been so intense recently that he is feeling a bit drained?
I don't know.
I am so glad you are ok.
(Well I know you are not ok but I think you get what I mean).
Posted by Poet on January 29, 2005, at 1:32:10
In reply to He hadn't noticed, posted by Dinah on January 28, 2005, at 20:39:40
Hi Dinah,
You're not a worm. You're not worming your way in or out of a situation.
I think you're right that what happened doesn't matter. Maybe what matters is that he doesn't seem to want to loose you or he wouldn't want you to come in and talk to him.
How he missed that you quit, I don't know, I thought in therapy it was the clients who didn't listen to the therapist.
Let us know if you decide to go talk to him.
Poet
Posted by Dinah on January 29, 2005, at 7:27:46
In reply to Re: He hadn't noticed » Dinah, posted by Poet on January 29, 2005, at 1:32:10
It's that emotional lag time. We both knew that we had disagreed Thursday, but I didn't realize how angry I was until after the session. I think I had taken a nap in the car after session and called him after that to explain why I was angry then dozed some more. When I woke up I felt ok and went to work.
He never called me back about that because I hadn't asked him to call me back and he never calls back unless I ask him to. But apparently he really didn't understand anything I was saying. Yesterday just built up from that, but again I didn't quit until after napping a few minutes in the car. Actually I dozed during session too. I don't seem to be able to stay awake for long at all lately. I thought I was pretty clear about cancelling then, but he missed it entirely.
I guess the root of the problem was that he was laughing at me for something I thought was important. Usually I sort of like it when he laughs at me, but this time it seemed unkind given how strongly I felt.
The worm part was because more and more I'm feeling trapped, angry, and frustrated in my life because my pathological need for stability leaves me with very few real choices.
My therapist said something about my job the other day that sounded like it had promise. But when he repeated it yesterday it was the same old CBT cr*p repackaged. Positive affirmations, negative self talk, stuff like that. I guess he took the effort to not mention those words the other day. It just left me feeling hopeless. And more trapped than ever because a normal person could just walk away from their job and find a new one. And I can't. That's not the only area in my life, but one. My therapist is another.
He probably didn't hear me say I quit because he knows I can't. And the truth is I can't, all I did was scare myself.
That's why I think I'm a spineless mealworm just reacting to what's going on around me and too afraid to move. Perhaps my old shell-less skinless slug writhing in the heat but unable to get off the sidewalk is a better analogy.
Go forward in thread:
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.