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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by asya on November 10, 2004, at 12:42:46
So I haven't seen my T in about 6 weeks due to craziness at work and not really having a chance to call her. (I used to go regularly when I was at my old job, but feel less free to go at this new job). Since I last saw her, there have been many positive developments in my life, and I do not want to minimize those, but as a lot of people can attest, I have a strong fear of her wondering why I am still coming etc. I think I want to terminate in maybe 6 mos or so, but I want it to be gentle, not ripping my heart out. Ok, so anyway, my question is, how do I say things are good and still communicate my underlying dissatisfaction with myself? Also, how do I ask about termination, where she thinks I am, etc? I have SERIOUS problems with being assertive and I don't know what to do. I am afraid that the next session might be the last, please help!
Posted by sunny10 on November 10, 2004, at 12:56:44
In reply to Not sure what to do in next session. Please help!, posted by asya on November 10, 2004, at 12:42:46
print that post and bring it with you???!!!
If you are like me, doing CBT, you're confused because you're walking the walk, talking the talk, and some good things have happened, but when the bad things happen, you still find yourself reverting to old behaviors/feelings and are confused as to what you have actually accomplished with CBT...ok, I'm transferring here, but I think you see where I'm going with this...
That's why my first suggestion was to simply print out your post and discuss it with your T as an opener....At least it's a place to start...
Posted by shortelise on November 10, 2004, at 13:35:29
In reply to Not sure what to do in next session. Please help!, posted by asya on November 10, 2004, at 12:42:46
You could phone now and make an appointment for whenever you'd like to see her again. Then it's clear that you'll be back. I always make appointments in advance.
Or, you could simply say, I'm not ready to terminate yet. Why would she make you? If you still need to see her once a month, or now and then, why not? That is not unusual, it's not "bad", it's not weird or anything. It's how you feel, and what you feel you need, so you could try to just blurt it out. If it were me, I'd weep copiously as I asked because I'd be afraid she'd say no, that she'd tell me I shouldn't see her anymore, that it is annoying of me to ask - but that's all just a bad fantasy.
She'll ask why, you'll talk about it, and it'll be fine. She won't be asking why because she doubts you in any way, but so that the two of you can understand where you're "at" together.Have courage! It'll be a good thing to understand it all.
Hugs
ShortE
Posted by alexandra_k on November 10, 2004, at 16:01:22
In reply to Not sure what to do in next session. Please help!, posted by asya on November 10, 2004, at 12:42:46
You could say that in a few respects things have gotten a lot better (CBT therapists tend to quite like a list at this point), but that you still feel that you could make significant gains on the following areas (another list). That way she gets the double benefit of thinking that seeing you in the past helped you, and that continuing to see you could help you still more.
You could tell her about wanting a positive termination experience. And about wanting to work on assertiveness.
Good luck!
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