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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Racer on June 22, 2004, at 11:55:48
Now, for anyone I've encouraged on a similar subject, please remember that I'm in a pretty extreme situation. This is NOT a retraction of anything I've ever said on this subject, it's ... complicated, 'K? I still truly believe that therapy can be successful beyond your wildest hopes.
There. End of disclaimer.
As I've posted before, my earlier therapy really did end my trauma over certain events of my past. Those events no longer torture me, they're in the past, emotionally as well as chronologicaly. I've come to terms with them, I've grieved them, and they're over. Truly over.
The current situation I find myself in, though, has brought some of the same sorts of emotions up again, though, and I'm having a hell of a time trying to deal with them. Now, I'm not talking about the same EVENTS bringing them up, these are totally new events. They have to do with the agency through which I'm receiving care, and without insurance, and with the County insisting that that agency is the only entity that can initiate any sort of transfer (they won't -- my husband has been in contact with them), I'm pretty well stuck there.
What's happening right now, with the information my husband was given yesterday and passed on to me, I'm devastated. What it feels like to me is what certain events of my childhood felt like. And I'm reacting the same way I did then. (Emotionally, at least. I'm rather proud of what I'm actually DOING, but the emotions are unbearable.) It feels, once again, that I'm being asked to cooperate with my own abuse. Now, that statement sounds melodramatic to me, and I don't want to go into the details of what happened to me as a kid, but I do want some input from someone who has experienced successful processing of traumatic events, only to have similar emotions come up again later over something else.
The worst part of this is that, as you all know, I've had one session so far with my new therapist. I want -- desperately -- for this to work out, not to screw it up, but asking her to put out this fire instantly scares the bejesus out of me. My experience with starting from CrisisPoint is NOT a way to build a good, trusting, supportive therapeutic relationship. I'm afraid that this crisis is going to interfere with that relationship, and doom it to failure from the start. THAT fear is a separate issue, though, and I've got a call in to the clinical director of the agency that she works through, to talk about alternatives to deal with this crisis.
So, has anyone here dealt successfully with something, only to have the emotions come back attached to something else? If so, and especially if you didn't have a therapist to turn to at the time, how did you react to it? How did you get through it?
Thank you so much!
Posted by antigua on June 22, 2004, at 15:14:19
In reply to Question about 'successful' therapy, posted by Racer on June 22, 2004, at 11:55:48
I'd love to help you, but I'm not through the first part of getting over and moving on. All I know is that when my feelings push to the surface over something totally irrelevant to my situation, I have to sit down and figure out the connection, which isn't always so obvious to me. But I always do (o.k., usually) find the connection.
I hope someone else can help!
antigua
Posted by daisym on June 22, 2004, at 18:11:02
In reply to Re: Question about 'successful' therapy » Racer, posted by antigua on June 22, 2004, at 15:14:19
I think I'm in the same camp as Antigua but I have had spans of time when I feel "better" instead of feeling the emotions that should be attached to what we are discussing. My Therapist thinks is "just" another attempt by my unconscious to control the feelings and keep him at bay.
In some ways, reading your post, I have to wonder if this isn't going on with you too. You are feeling old, frightening feelings, which are causing you to fear a disruption in the theraputic relationship. Which you have been very, very worried about. And your last few attempts have been torment. So, is your unconscious now throwing up these old feelings as another barrier? Just my amateur T "maybe" guess.
but here is the other thing: therapy is suppose to help you sort stuff out and I'll bet more than 50% of people go to therapy when they are in crisis. This is what drives them there. So it is your Therapist's responsibility to help you with the crisis and this, in and of itself, will help "bond" you. You are already trying to cope with this on your own and exclude your therapist. Essentially you aren't giving her the chance to prove she can handle it and be helpful.
(I want my own disclaimer that says this is do as I say, not as I do, OK? Because you know too much and I hear you thinking "yeah, but...")
Racer, you are ignoring life rafts waiting for the coast guard. Get in the damn boat and let her help you!
Please take care. I wish I could help more.
Daisy
Posted by fallsfall on June 22, 2004, at 18:40:07
In reply to Question about 'successful' therapy, posted by Racer on June 22, 2004, at 11:55:48
I started with my current therapist during a crisis. I think that it *made* me be more open with him, which helped to speed up the bonding. It also helped me feel more confident with his abilities because he really did very well with my crisis.
Posted by shadows721 on June 23, 2004, at 1:54:48
In reply to Question about 'successful' therapy, posted by Racer on June 22, 2004, at 11:55:48
I have been in t for years and I have been far from healed from my past abuse. I truly don't know if I will ever "be healed". I think that I will learn to better understand myself and accept myself. I think that's my goal.
As far as being trigger like you, I am constantly reacting as a child to things. I try not to tell myself negative things and forgive myself, because there really is a child still there. I know that this is a signal of unresolved pain. Also, I just want to mention that this child also brings play and laughter in my life. I have to allow it more.
I am really glad that you have a t right now. I don't feel this is a bad start. It may be the beginning of a good therapeutic alliance. You can use this experience with them in any manner that you feel safe. You can start by saying, "You know the other day I had something really upset me and ______________...." You will know when to pause and when to proceed. Trust that child inside to help guide you.
Posted by Racer on June 23, 2004, at 12:31:54
In reply to Question about 'successful' therapy, posted by Racer on June 22, 2004, at 11:55:48
Today was session 2 with the New Chick -- let's ALL send her sympathy cards, eh?
It went pretty well, again, and I still think this is likely to be a good fit. I did tell her I was terrified that starting with a crisis of this magnitude was likely to be a problem, and told her that I could feel myself unwilling to *feel* so keeping everything intellectual, rather than emotional. That was about the best I could do, but I'm willing to take it for what it was: doing the best I could today. Next week will be better.
Don't anyone remind me I said that last thing, 'K? No matter how it hurts, it will get better every week. (Even if she is slim, pretty, and well-dressed. Those are not signs that she's not a brilliant therapist. And they don't mean that I have to be intimidated by her. They don't, they don't, they don't {{stamps very little foot}} They really don't.)
This is the end of the thread.
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