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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 13 to 37 of 37. Go back in thread:
Posted by Fallen4myT on February 6, 2004, at 20:33:22
In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE » Fallen4myT, posted by terrics on February 6, 2004, at 20:20:02
Yes ok thanks I get it! And YES sometimes I can be *flooded* with too many people and friends calling, writing and so on that I want to scream then wham its down to invisable city...I wish I could get something inbetween. And thanks I am trying to hang in here. What boards on here do you hang in?
> Hi again, I guess by shaky ground I meant at times I either feel invisible or wish I was. I'll be looking for your posts. STAY SAFE. terrics
Posted by DaisyM on February 6, 2004, at 22:07:30
In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE » terrics, posted by Fallen4myT on February 6, 2004, at 20:33:22
Hi,
I'm interested in where your name came from, especially since there have been more than a few posts about this.Just curious. You *don't* have to share if you don't want to. I won't be offended.
-Daisy
Posted by Fallen4myT on February 6, 2004, at 22:39:07
In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE » Fallen4myT, posted by DaisyM on February 6, 2004, at 22:07:30
Hi Daisy :) no problem in my answering you. My name is two fold one is I love that song Fallen by S McLachlan and have FALLEN for my T *not* transferance which is why I avoid telling my story on the boards cause I am not up for debates and fights and stuff on transferance.
Posted by DaisyM on February 7, 2004, at 0:30:32
In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE » DaisyM, posted by Fallen4myT on February 6, 2004, at 22:39:07
Yeah, you've hinted as much. Actually people here can be pretty open minded, as you will find. I think we just watch out for each other. Many of us are fairly new to Therapy. I'm a first-timer myself!
I like the song Fallen too...
I hope you feel happier soon. Some weeks are tougher than others. And sometimes, I wish I could be as invisible as you seem to feel. It might be easier to take a break from my life that way.
Anyway...glad you are here. But try to remember, we are here to support you, not to the criticize your choices.
-D
Posted by Fallen4myT on February 7, 2004, at 0:49:45
In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE, posted by DaisyM on February 7, 2004, at 0:30:32
Hi Daisy :)
And thank you! Like you I am often the opposite of invisable but man this is killing me. It is feast or famine.
I have been in therapy before WAYYY back and then I was cool for many years. I have been back in therapy for over 2 years now with this T. I liked my other T too but that was long ago over the death of a family member and the anxiety that hit. I have an awesome T now and he is perfect for me in all ways :) So how long have you been in therapy?
Fallen is one of my favorite songs right now I am a huge music fan I love almost any music.
I will keep what you said in mind as far as people not being critical in here but I have seen some posters say things trying to help and I see the original poster feels like defensive and just don't wanna be one to avoid a reply but by replying I might have to defend and so I just kinda bottle it up..maybe Ill open up in time and thanks for the welcome :)
Posted by terrics on February 7, 2004, at 11:04:10
In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE » terrics, posted by Fallen4myT on February 6, 2004, at 20:33:22
I mostly stay on this one. [re. What boards do I hang on?] terrics
Posted by gardenergirl on February 7, 2004, at 13:17:55
In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE, posted by terrics on February 7, 2004, at 11:04:10
Fallen,
I love Sarah MacLachlan! I just got that CD for Christmas. Listen to it all the time.I just wanted to welcome you. I was new a few months ago and felt similar to you about response patterns. In fact, occasionally, particularly on other boards, I still do. But I just barged in on threads, and eventually began to feel like part of the group. I think that we tend to look especially for threads and responses from the regulars. I know I, too have not had as much time as I would like to respond to every post I read. So I found it easier to just jump into existing threads in order to get into the swing.
It sounds like it is not just this board, though, that is causing you hurt. I do hope you take care of yourself, and I'm glad you have support (I assume from your husband) at home. How long have you been married? I have been married more than 8 years, and I don't know what I would do without my husband.
Please take care, and again welcome,
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on February 7, 2004, at 13:18:59
In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE, posted by terrics on February 7, 2004, at 11:04:10
Posted by Fallen4myT on February 7, 2004, at 21:28:36
In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE, posted by terrics on February 7, 2004, at 11:04:10
So youre mostly on the psychology one then too-good I'll look for you. Do you have a thread of your own?. I have hit the Substance abuse one and also the Alternative ones more to read but I did post too...still lol I remain mostly unreplied to :-/
Posted by Fallen4myT on February 7, 2004, at 21:38:12
In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE, posted by gardenergirl on February 7, 2004, at 13:17:55
Hi GardebGirl and thank you for the welcome. I am a music nut and got Sarah's CD the minute it hit Best Buy I am waiting on the new Nora Jones one I wonder if its good. I love Avril too...oh heck I love all music :)
I have posted around but man people seem to just skip over mine or something. I think I have been posting for a week maybe two but what can you do I have met a few friendly people on here and yeah its not JUST in here where I am feeling left out.
My husband is OK.....O.........K :) UM he can be supportive and nice and can and has hit me and stuff so it's kind of odd. My T wanted me to put him in jail not too long ago. It was a first time hit so we shall see ...he is a mix like very sweet and then really mean and does things that messes me up like steas and stupid stuff..ahhh life is stress :) Thank you again and I am trying to hang in here. Oh, and we have been married 10 years most of the time I feel like I have been doing time
Posted by terrics on February 7, 2004, at 23:50:38
In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE » terrics, posted by Fallen4myT on February 7, 2004, at 21:28:36
We'll probably 'see' alot of each other here. As of now I do not have a thread. terrics
Posted by Fallen4myT on February 8, 2004, at 0:08:21
In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE » Fallen4myT, posted by terrics on February 7, 2004, at 23:50:38
Maybe you should get one so I/we can get to know you better :) I CAN be nosey lol
Posted by terrics on February 8, 2004, at 11:08:28
In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE » terrics, posted by Fallen4myT on February 6, 2004, at 20:33:22
Fallen4myT, I thought a thread was a statement that others respond to. Am I wrong? Otherwise I started a thread yesterday. terrics
Posted by Fallen4myT on February 8, 2004, at 12:28:39
In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE, posted by terrics on February 8, 2004, at 11:08:28
Yes it is but I also saw someone start a post to just introduce herself that was kinda cool...I DID reply in your thread I saw it right before bed last night and I am wishing things to be better for you today.
> Fallen4myT, I thought a thread was a statement that others respond to. Am I wrong? Otherwise I started a thread yesterday. terrics
Posted by Penny on February 8, 2004, at 21:53:08
In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE » terrics, posted by Fallen4myT on February 8, 2004, at 12:28:39
Fallen,
Just wanted to check in with you, say HI, and see how you faired the weekend.
Take care.
P
Posted by Fallen4myT on February 8, 2004, at 22:15:29
In reply to Re: Everything going okay? » Fallen4myT, posted by Penny on February 8, 2004, at 21:53:08
Hi Penny and thank you I am OK I had a so so weekend had good times and hard times but made it. I am on a huge low right now but I will be OK
:-/ How about you?
Posted by Penny on February 9, 2004, at 8:23:27
In reply to Re: Everything going okay? » Penny, posted by Fallen4myT on February 8, 2004, at 22:15:29
> Hi Penny and thank you I am OK I had a so so weekend had good times and hard times but made it. I am on a huge low right now but I will be OK
> :-/ How about you?Ups and downs, ups and downs.... sucks, eh?
I'm hangin' in. Had a nightmare of sorts about work last night - dreamt my boss came in my office and started screaming at me. Might not be too far off base if I don't get some work done. :-(
At least I have therapy tomorrow. Which promises to be interesting...
Take care.
P
Posted by lonelygirl on March 25, 2004, at 2:55:24
In reply to FEELING INVISABLE, posted by Fallen4myT on February 6, 2004, at 13:21:52
I know I am replying to this several weeks later, but I totally know how you feel about being invisible. Sometimes I wonder if there is some kind of force field around me that prevents people from returning my calls or responding to my e-mails (that is just a joke, I am not that paranoid; I know that it's really just because I am not important enough to anyone for them to pay any attention to me). I understand people in real life hating me, but I have never been able to understand how even people on the internet seem to hate me instantly. It seems like on message boards (except this one, everyone is so great here), nobody ever replies to me, and as soon as I reply to a topic, it dies. I hate it so much, and I don't get it, because these people don't even know who I am or what I look like! Also, nobody ever reads my LiveJournal. I write pages upon pages and it just floats off into nothing because nobody reads it. I have just two people on my friends list and I read every one of their entries but they rarely read mine and hardly ever comment.
You would probably never guess, from how I am on this board, how shy and reserved I am in real life. Not only do I not need to be the center of attention, but I hate being the center of attention. I hate having people see me. My only relief comes when I go back to my room and close the door behind me and I am alone.
I hate it when I feel so needy. I think attention is sort of addicting in a way and I get so greedy about it :-( Like this, I keep dumping all of my problems here, and I don't mean to but I just don't have anyone to talk to about anything. Even my psychologist, I can talk to him about some things (I only get to see him 1 hour a week anyway), but then I need to talk to someone about him!
Sometimes I can block out the loneliness, but sometimes I just can't. I am just so completely alone in the world. I don't have any friends and I bet if I died nobody would notice for at least a week. I once left school for a semester to do an internship and not a single person from school ever asked me about it or realized that I wasn't there. It is so hard to go through life knowing that you don't really matter to anyone. Sometimes I just wish somebody would hold me but there is nobody who will.
Anyway, there I go rambling on and on again but this is such an old thread anyway that nobody's probably going to read it.
Posted by fallsfall on March 25, 2004, at 6:41:16
In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE » Fallen4myT, posted by lonelygirl on March 25, 2004, at 2:55:24
I would hold you, lonelygirl. I know what it is like to want to be held. To need to be held.
You must have had so much pain earlier in your life, where people who should have loved you didn't. Where people who should have enjoyed your company didn't. You really expect the world to reject you - or (maybe this is worse) to not recognize that you exist. But it still hurts you everytime it happens. Even though you expect it to happen, there is a sliver inside you that says that maybe, just maybe, there is some person in the world who could see that you are a person. That you have feelings and hopes and talents and failures just like everyone else. And, so you keep looking for that person - but you have to be cautious - because you know that while you look for that person that there will be hurts along the way. Every person you meet, who you carry any hope at all for, can hurt you. You have to protect yourself the best you can. And that often means that you hide a bit, so people won't see you long enough to reject you. And the balance that you try to find is being careful enough so that you don't get so hurt that you can't go on, but brave enough to actually see if there IS someone out there who could care about you. This is a hard way to live.
But, you are starting to make a start. You have your therapist, and he wants to help you understand how this whole thing works. And he does want to help you figure out how to find people who care. And, I bet that he cares. He will make decisions on how he does his job so that he will be helping you. And when he has to choose between helping you, and helping himself, he will choose to help you. Like he wants to hear what you have to say. He doesn't ask you to solve his problems or talk about things that he is interested in. He wants to hear about what you are interested in, and help you understand the world and how you fit in. That's because he cares about you as a person.
And you have us. Lots of us understand a lot about what it must feel like to be you. Probably noone knows exactly how it is, but many of us understand completely at least some part of how you feel. I understand the safety of being in your own room by yourself. Where no one can reject you because no one is there. I also understand (oh, too well) the need to be held - to feel that someone likes you enough to want to be close to you and to comfort you and to protect you. Each of us can relate to some of your life, and by talking with us you can figure out that you aren't quite as unique as you think that you are. You aren't the ONLY person who feels the way you do. There is a community of people in the world who can understand you and who will care about you.
I know that sometimes (well, many times) it just feels safer to hide from people who will hurt you. But there are people in the world who will NOT hurt you, who WILL care. You don't want to always hide from them, too.
Posted by Raindancer on March 25, 2004, at 11:49:01
In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE » Fallen4myT, posted by lonelygirl on March 25, 2004, at 2:55:24
I understand quite well how you feel when you say you feel invisible. When I am with a group of people or in class it feels that if I suddenly disappeared no-one would notice or care - at the very most I feel the least significant person there.
It's as Falls says. When you were a child you were never given enough love or care or made to feel special (for whatever reason) and this child is still inside you and still feeling undeserving and unloved and making the adult LonelyGirl feel the same. What you may not realise is that you are VERY important, probably to more people than you expect and certainly to all of us here and of course to your T. It is very hard to reject the feelings we had as a child and learn new and more appropriate ways of thinking and feeling now we are older. The child within can learn to see that she is beautiful and lovable and deserves to be happy and enjoy her life. Your T will help you - he wants to and he does care, but he can really only do this if you learn to trust him and let him into your life.
I am so very sorry that you are so unhappy. I too would hold you if I could, but I send my thoughts and a very big hug. Take care.
((((((LonelyGirl)))))) Rx
Posted by lonelygirl on March 25, 2004, at 12:14:00
In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE » lonelygirl, posted by fallsfall on March 25, 2004, at 6:41:16
Thanks for writing that... You are so kind. I have read it about 6 times today and it actually made me feel a little better. Thank you so much.
Posted by lonelygirl on March 25, 2004, at 12:25:10
In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE » lonelygirl, posted by Raindancer on March 25, 2004, at 11:49:01
Thanks for replying... and I'm sorry to hear that you know what it's like to feel invisible :-(
I wish I could believe that people care about me but they don't. The worst part of it is that I look at myself and I understand why, and I can't see anyone ever liking me. I wish I could change but the more I try, the worse I get... I am going to see my psychologist tomorrow. I will try to talk to him about this but it is hard. And I hate how I only have 1 hour with him out of the 168 in the week!
Posted by Delphi68 on March 25, 2004, at 17:27:04
In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE » Fallen4myT, posted by lonelygirl on March 25, 2004, at 2:55:24
Dear LonelyGirl,
I'm very new here, but your post touched me very much.
I'm sure you're a far more wonderful person than you realize. I hope your T can help you to realize this.
I don't even know you and yet, I care about you.
XOXO,
Delphi68
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 25, 2004, at 17:51:49
In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE » Raindancer, posted by lonelygirl on March 25, 2004, at 12:25:10
Lonelygirl it may be easier for you to print out your posts..ones you want to cover like this and share them with him then you dont have to say it outloud and I have done that a few times makes it a tad easier..he may feel good knowing also that he matters/ed to you
Posted by underthecs on March 25, 2004, at 20:09:43
In reply to Re: FEELING INVISABLE, posted by Delphi68 on March 25, 2004, at 17:27:04
> I don't even know you and yet, I care about you.
>DITTO. I don't write much, but I do follow the posts. I can really, really relate to everything you have said so far. I care. Please keep posting. Maybe one day I'll be brave enough to do the same.
This is the end of the thread.
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