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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 8 to 32 of 32. Go back in thread:
Posted by Karen_kay on January 31, 2004, at 13:42:27
In reply to Re: Definition of Progress, posted by DaisyM on January 31, 2004, at 13:22:20
Oh Daisy...
How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, but the lightbulb has to want to change itself....
Not that I'm pointing a finger or anything like that... Just a joke I read somewhere. Thought it might cheer you up a bit. Take all the time you want to stare out the window. Imagine one day that you'll be out there happy and healthy and full of life and energy... I know you will, you just need to know it :)
Posted by DaisyM on January 31, 2004, at 14:12:55
In reply to Re: Definition of Progress » DaisyM, posted by Karen_kay on January 31, 2004, at 13:42:27
Thanks Karen,
Why do such kind posts make the tears come? I'm sick of this...
Now, I must work...I must...
Posted by Racer on January 31, 2004, at 14:45:09
In reply to Re: Definition of Progress » Karen_kay, posted by DaisyM on January 31, 2004, at 14:12:55
Daisy, I can't offer you anything helpful, but I can type an awful lot while not offering it. Does that help?
Time was, therapists were trained that a woman wearing makeup was obviously expressing her return to health. Then, 'round the 70s, that changed to a model of makeup as mask, hiding herself behind the painted facade.
I think at this point, most Ts have thrown most of that out, in favor of a case by case exploration of the meaning of mascara or just ignoring the entire thing.
Sounds as if we're both NOCers and both in CA? Wanna compare notes via email? I'll tell you my best fundraising stories in exchange for yours, that's a promise...
Posted by Crooked Heart on January 31, 2004, at 15:07:58
In reply to Re: Definition of Progress » DaisyM, posted by Karen_kay on January 31, 2004, at 13:42:27
> How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb?
>
> One, but the lightbulb has to want to change itself....
Aargh, Karen, you got in first with the *only* therapy joke that I know! :)Talking about one's children, Daisy, I really didn't want mine to know at first that I was in therapy--*I* do the looking after people, right? They were fine with it though. If my daughter was home when I returned from a session she would do this great mock sarcastic routine and sneer: 'Found yerself yet?' I had to laugh even when I felt bad underneath.
My therapist was an immensely kind but poker-faced
individual. The only time I can remember making her laugh was regarding a particular group of mental health professionals who were at loggerheads, and I said in passing that they were all experts in interpersonal relationships, that was why they all hated each other.Only other joke I can think of is Woody Allen's story about his uncle who believed himself to be a chicken. The rest of the family couldn't tell him that he wasn't. Why? Because they needed the
eggs :) That's probably relevant to family therapy?Jokes aside, Karen you said it all about the bad and good times.
Posted by DaisyM on January 31, 2004, at 15:21:48
In reply to Re: Definition of Progress » DaisyM, posted by Racer on January 31, 2004, at 14:45:09
How do I get your email address? And yes, in Cal -North of GG Bridge. What kind of nonprofit are you involved with?
Posted by DaisyM on January 31, 2004, at 15:31:47
In reply to Re: Definition of Progress » Karen_kay, posted by Crooked Heart on January 31, 2004, at 15:07:58
Interestingly, the only one of my children who knows I'm in therapy is my youngest. His Therapist dragged me into all this and then pushed me to tell my son to "normalize" what he was going through. We have an understanding that it is "private" and not for open discussion with other people. He is a very sweet, sensitive child (part of the problem, the world eats kids like him) so it hasn't been a problem.
My other two are teenagers, great kids but totally self-involved, as they should be. One is away at college so really isn't plugged into what is happening at home.
I love that they use humor to cope with all the crap at home. Their dad is pretty sick so some days the moods are bad, plus they miss how much he use to play with them. Sometimes it gets disrespectful but I need to allow them some room in this...besides it makes me laugh. (I'm so bad!)
Posted by gardenergirl on January 31, 2004, at 16:05:21
In reply to Re: Definition of Progress » gardenergirl, posted by EmmyS on January 31, 2004, at 9:13:03
Oh no, something new for me to obsess about. I have to admit, I don't really think too much about the impact of my everyday appearance on my clients. I usually just think about the big picture, i.e. what if they had an evil, red-headed wicked step-sister? :)
I'll have to think about this. Thanks for pointing it out, seriously.
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on January 31, 2004, at 16:09:17
In reply to Re: Definition of Progress, posted by gardenergirl on January 31, 2004, at 16:05:21
Posted by gardenergirl on January 31, 2004, at 16:10:50
In reply to Sounds like a deal » Racer, posted by DaisyM on January 31, 2004, at 15:21:48
For Daisy and her kids:
Subject: Parodies on our language-Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
-A backward poet writes inverse.
-A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
-Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
-Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
-Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
-A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
-Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
-Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
-Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
-Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
-When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
-A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
-What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)
-Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
-In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
-She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
-A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
-If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
-With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
-When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
-The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
-You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
-Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
-He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
-Every calendar's days are numbered.
-A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.
-A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
-He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
-A plateau is a high form of flattery.
-A midget fortuneteller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
-Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
-Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
-Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
-Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
-Acupuncture is a jab well done
Posted by Racer on January 31, 2004, at 16:22:48
In reply to Sounds like a deal » Racer, posted by DaisyM on January 31, 2004, at 15:21:48
Hmmm... I'm not very comfortable giving out my email address on the board, so that's a question. Are you in contact via email with anyone on the board? Maybe we overlap?
And I've worked for a number of different sorts of NPOs, all directed at low income sector individuals. Tax return preparation, technology training, educational, etc. And none of them ever managed to get funding like you're talking about. Just ask me about the time I suggested that maybe making individual telephone calls to people at work, begging for money, wasn't the most optimal method of fundraising...
I used to live in Sonoma County, though I've landing smack in the middle of SillyCone Valley now. You've got it good up there, no matter what else is going on.
(And I'll go see if I can set up a new free email for you. letcha know.)
Posted by Racer on January 31, 2004, at 16:31:26
In reply to Sounds like a deal » Racer, posted by DaisyM on January 31, 2004, at 15:21:48
Sorry, I guess I should have held off on that last post. You can reach me at babbler39 at excite dot com.
Looking forward to discussing nonprofits and other esoterica...
Posted by Poet on January 31, 2004, at 17:11:15
In reply to Definition of Progress, posted by DaisyM on January 31, 2004, at 0:52:16
Hi Daisy,
My therapist wears one pair of sandals in spring/summer and one pair of shoes in fall/winter.
Think she has footwearaphobia?I bought four new pairs of shoes for my new job. I'm normal!
Poet
Posted by pegasus on January 31, 2004, at 18:51:55
In reply to Re: Definition of Progress » DaisyM, posted by Poet on January 31, 2004, at 17:11:15
All of your comments about therapists interpreting mundane things made me think of my therapist recently asking me if I ever wear makeup. Hello! Only every day! I suppose it might be a compliment that he thought it was all natural, but I think it's just him being oblivious. He actually said that he didn't like it when women wear makeup. And I thought . . . well, if you don't even know the difference between makeup and no makeup, how can you make such a statement! I'm glad he didn't try to interpret anything from my "not" wearing makeup!
-p
Posted by DaisyM on January 31, 2004, at 18:56:26
In reply to Re: Sounds like a deal » DaisyM, posted by Racer on January 31, 2004, at 16:22:48
I already did that: try - BabbleDaisyMM@aol.com
That should get to me.
Posted by DaisyM on January 31, 2004, at 18:57:39
In reply to got one » DaisyM, posted by Racer on January 31, 2004, at 16:31:26
should have kept reading, sorry.
Posted by DaisyM on January 31, 2004, at 19:02:30
In reply to Re: Definition of Progress » DaisyM, posted by Poet on January 31, 2004, at 17:11:15
I totally agree! I got new pink high tops for my birthday. Totally out of character but I love them. :)
Posted by Raindancer on January 31, 2004, at 19:41:02
In reply to Definition of Progress, posted by DaisyM on January 31, 2004, at 0:52:16
Hello Daisy, So sorry you're feeling down. It will get better - therapy is such a zigzaggy (?) path and you often feel you're not getting anywhere and going backwards instead of forwards, but all the while you are getting stronger. You don't notice it at first but then you meet a situation and you suddenly feel it. As you know it has been tough for me lately (and you've helped so much - and i haven't forgotten the list!) and I find a good thing is not to look too far ahead-. Just take one day at a time and get the best you can from that one day and try to live in the moment. It's not easy I know, in fact it's really hard. Just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you and send you thoughts and hugs. R
Posted by gardenergirl on January 31, 2004, at 20:43:35
In reply to Re: Definition of Progress, posted by pegasus on January 31, 2004, at 18:51:55
Posted by Dinah on January 31, 2004, at 21:45:17
In reply to Re: Definition of Progress » Poet, posted by DaisyM on January 31, 2004, at 19:02:30
Pink high tops! Oooooh, I'm envious. I want a pair. I want a pair.
My favorite dress is a bright yellow cotton t-shirt dress with hot pink flower people on it. It makes me cheer up when I wear it. In fact I wore it to my first appointment at my therapist's new shiny downtown office. I had been afraid I dressed too oddly for downtown, so I decided to start off with the most conspicuous odd outfit I had, and one that cheers me up to boot. And I wear it with white knee socks and my uniform white freestyle Reebok aerobic hightops (which I also have in dress black. lol.). But some pink hightops would suit it much better.
Bet Karen Kay's glad she's going shopping with you, not me. :D
Posted by Speaker on January 31, 2004, at 22:57:25
In reply to Definition of Progress, posted by DaisyM on January 31, 2004, at 0:52:16
Daisy,
I'm glad your kids have a great sense of humor. When my husband was sick he would say: For as much sickness there is in our home we must have a sick sense of humor to balance things out! We always played jokes on each other and laughed about things I know nobody else thought were funny.
Sometimes I try to forget about progress in therapy and am thankful I'm staying the same and not getting worse. Take good care of you.
Posted by Karen_kay on February 1, 2004, at 7:11:39
In reply to Re: Definition of Progress » DaisyM, posted by Dinah on January 31, 2004, at 21:45:17
NUUU UHHH Dinah!!! I'd love to go shopping with you as well! I think that your choice in clothing sounds absolutely magnificant!
I have a friend who frequently shops at Good Will and snags all the "Grandma" shirts and slacks she can find! Polyester shirts with prints of kittens, flowers and rainbows. Powder blue cotton pants! I love her taste in clothing! Aunt Dinah, I think you sound so cute!!! Can I go shopping with you some day too?
Posted by Crooked Heart on February 1, 2004, at 10:29:28
In reply to Re: Definition of Progress » Crooked Heart, posted by DaisyM on January 31, 2004, at 15:31:47
> Interestingly, the only one of my children who knows I'm in therapy is my youngest. His Therapist dragged me into all this and then pushed me to tell my son to "normalize" what he was going through.Hmm. My youngest was the last of my children to know. He used to get very anxious sometimes about his own parents' wellbeing, so I didn't want him to know. But children just have antennae and they can pick everything up and he certainly did. So finally it just seemed better for us to take the line that I was in therapy and that that was no big deal.
Our older children didn't like too much the idea that I might need therapy (neither did I!), but they could readily see that people might want to talk about things with someone who wasn't a spouse, friend, relation whatever. My eldest son was away at university too, but after I'd been in therapy for a while my daughter told me she couldn't believe how much I'd 'chilled out'. (I guess that was a compliment?!) The next couple of years were very tough for her for other reasons, and I think that she was able to lean on me much more because she knew that I had that sort of extra support.
>He is a very sweet, sensitive child (part of the problem, the world eats kids like him) so it hasn't been a problem.
He sounds just lovely! And what you said about your 'self-involved, as they should be' teenagers, it's just so reassuring when you see your children getting on with the proper business of their lives at that stage in spite of the large amounts of undeserved crap that might be around.
Not sure where all this is going. Oh well...:)
Posted by DaisyM on February 1, 2004, at 12:34:21
In reply to Re: Definition of Progress » DaisyM, posted by Crooked Heart on February 1, 2004, at 10:29:28
I think kid's resilency is amazing. And I'm glad my family isn't the only one that deals with illness in a "sick" humor fashion.I've had a couple of very short discussion with my Therapist about the impacts of illness on a couple's sex life - and ultimately I make a really bad joke to cover how truly awful it can be.
CH: I know where your post was going, not to worry. I always worry about how to be a good mom in the midst of all this. Selfcare sometimes conflicts with what they need so we try to do both. And they aren't use to me saying "I don't want to" when they suggest activities.
Maybe that is partly why sorting through childhood trauma is really hard -- as a parent I can't imagine EVER treating my kids that way. And it seems that the parents (mine) that I know now do not resemble who they were then. I'm glad people change but worry that I might be changing into my parents former "selfish" selves...that probably makes no sense...it's just that depression makes you selfish in so many ways.
*sigh* It was fun to share GG puns with the kids though. I had lots to throw out last night at dinner.
Posted by Karen_kay on February 1, 2004, at 14:42:21
In reply to Kids: Speaker, Crooked Heart, posted by DaisyM on February 1, 2004, at 12:34:21
as a parent I can't imagine EVER treating my kids that way. And it seems that the parents (mine) that I know now do not resemble who they were then. I'm glad people change but worry that I might be changing into my parents former "selfish" selves...that probably makes no sense...
**I understand that completely! Even though I don't have children, I watch my sisters with their children and am truly amazed. One sister is such a wonderful parent. She is patient and caring. The other sister is so much like my mother it is frightening. I call her on the telephone and she is always screaming at her children. It breaks my heart.
My mother is still the same as she ever was. But I still love her very very much. I realize that she has her own problems to deal with. I honestly don't have any hard feelings and it feels wonderful. Now, I can't stand to spend longer than a few days with her. But I still love her with all of my heart.
I hope I'm not like my mother. That's sort of the reason I started therapy. I began to notice that I was resembling my mother in many ways and said to myself, "Woah Bessie, you need help!!!!" I've gotten much better (AHHH! I hope!) I'm not yelling at my boyfriend anymore. That's a good sign.
Posted by Crooked Heart on February 2, 2004, at 15:01:20
In reply to Re: Kids: Speaker, Crooked Heart » DaisyM, posted by Karen_kay on February 1, 2004, at 14:42:21
When my husband wanted to really annoy me he used to tell me I was behaving like my mother. When he wanted to permanently damage our relationship he would say I was being like *his* mother.
Actually I don't think she was half as bad as painted...
Actually, these days I sometimes see her in *him*...
OMG...
This is the end of the thread.
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