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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Asya on January 16, 2004, at 19:42:51
Hey guys,
Hope I am not over-posting here. I have some thoughts. I wasn't as aware of how to choose a therapist when I started, and I was also so desperate and also felt shy and embarassed to ask too many ?s so I didn't really INTERVIEW Ts, I did research initially from the web and found the ones I wanted to go to didn't accept insurance. The I just picked a name that sounded good from my list of providers and called, left a message, she called, and went, and liked her. Never asked her about orientation and stuff, though did ask her if other stuff (generation gaps etc) would be a problem. Now I feel all self conscious, do you think she thiks I dont take therapy seriously because I didnt ask? I mean, I don't want to ask now because I feel too awkward and I am starting to like her - and I think it comes across from my demeanor that I take it seriously.
Posted by Dinah on January 16, 2004, at 20:08:47
In reply to Feeling a wee bit self-conscious, posted by Asya on January 16, 2004, at 19:42:51
Don't feel self-conscious about it. My new maybe EMDR therapist seemed quite amused at the questions I asked, so I would think that it is more the exception than the norm.
And my real therapist and I have talked about it. He said that most people who call him are nervous and don't know quite what to say, and he anticipates that and tries to make it easy for them. So don't worry, she won't find anything to criticize about your approach.
And if you're working hard in therapy, she'll be extra special pleased with you.
Posted by Karen_kay on January 16, 2004, at 20:09:15
In reply to Feeling a wee bit self-conscious, posted by Asya on January 16, 2004, at 19:42:51
First of all, if anyone overposts, I get the crown. I've worked hard to skip classes and miss sleep and I deserve the title. In other words, I don't think there is a such thing as over-posting. If there is, no one told me about it.
I didn't even really interview my therapist. (And don't give me any crap people!) I was referred to him through my old therapist and he was in the same building as my new Pdoc, so I started seeing him out of convenience. (Oh, that sounds so BAD looking at it now!!!) I don't want to post this... Well, the point of my story is that my therapist is a REALLY good match for me. And he was a referral from my old therapist, who was a therapist from the University (and a rather poor one at that :)
I doubt that she'll think you aren't serious about therapy because you didn't bombard her with questions. My therapist actually told me all of his information without me having to ask. So, I didn't actually have to interview him (it seemed more like he interviewed me). You don't have to worry about appearing serious about therapy. I don't always look or act like I'm serious. But my progress gives me away everytime! Try to think of it that way.
Posted by Penny on January 16, 2004, at 23:19:36
In reply to Feeling a wee bit self-conscious, posted by Asya on January 16, 2004, at 19:42:51
With my first T, I had never been in therapy before, so I had no idea what I was looking for and, therefore, no idea what to ask. I would expect that is pretty common. In fact, I called and told the *receptionist* of all people that I was 22 and depressed and who should I talk to? I had a friend who saw another T there, so I knew they accepted my insurance. And the receptionist said "So and so does a lot of work with young women with depression." She transferred me, I left a message, the T called back, we made an appointment, and I left my first appointment thinking "This isn't going to work!" I made a second appointment because I was afraid to tell her that I didn't want to see her anymore to her face, so I called and cancelled via voice mail! She called me back and spoke with me and said that she understood that I was uncomfortable, etc. etc., but she would like for me to come back again, and if I still didn't feel comfortable with her, she would help me find someone else. I had had one heck of a time finding a T that was taking new patients anyway, so I figured that was an offer I couldn't refuse. I went back the second time and stayed with her for three years...
So I'm sure that your T hasn't given a second thought to your not asking questions. The only reason I interviewed T's when I moved was because I was able to. I was in no rush to find someone, my pdoc was able to refer me to several that he had worked with who accepted my insurance, and I met with each of them (three of them) and asked questions that I knew to ask, but only because I had already been in therapy for three years.
P
Posted by All Done on January 17, 2004, at 1:10:45
In reply to Feeling a wee bit self-conscious, posted by Asya on January 16, 2004, at 19:42:51
> Hey guys,
> Hope I am not over-posting here. I have some thoughts. I wasn't as aware of how to choose a therapist when I started, and I was also so desperate and also felt shy and embarassed to ask too many ?s so I didn't really INTERVIEW Ts, I did research initially from the web and found the ones I wanted to go to didn't accept insurance. The I just picked a name that sounded good from my list of providers and called, left a message, she called, and went, and liked her. Never asked her about orientation and stuff, though did ask her if other stuff (generation gaps etc) would be a problem. Now I feel all self conscious, do you think she thiks I dont take therapy seriously because I didnt ask? I mean, I don't want to ask now because I feel too awkward and I am starting to like her - and I think it comes across from my demeanor that I take it seriously.Asya,
I don't even really know how I got my therapist. I was seeing a pdoc for meds only and I decided maybe it would be a good idea if I started seeing a therapist. My pdoc never did much talking and I wanted to talk. Anyway, I can only go to one group through my insurance, so I told the intake department a bit about myself and two weeks later, my therapist called. I was new to all of this and didn't even think to ask any questions.
So, I saw him a few times, thought I would like him, and decided to continue seeing him. After a few months and after finding this site, I decided to ask him all of the questions I didn't ask in the first place. I told him it felt awkward at that point, but I was feeling very unsure as to what I "jumped" into and I wondered why I hadn't asked more questions of the guy who was helping me "fix" my mind than of a guy who might fix my car. (I even told him I thought I might be a *little* mad at him for not offering the basic information. Oh my gosh - a hint of anger. That was a first for me.)
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is if you are feeling uncomfortable about not having interviewed your therapist, it's never too late to ask questions.
Take care,
All Done
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 17, 2004, at 11:27:22
In reply to Re: Feeling a wee bit self-conscious » Asya, posted by All Done on January 17, 2004, at 1:10:45
I never interviewed my Therapist, and luckily, it has worked out. To be honest, I put as much stock into your chemistry with the Therapist and how comfortable you feel with him as his orientation, etc. I STILL don't really know my T's orientation. I guess I would call it "eclectic."
I don't think Ts are bothered by your not asking questions the first time out. My T did make a point though of saying during our first meeting that I should feel free to be able to ask him anything about his training, philosophy, etc.
I think a lot of this stuff happens by chance. I first sought therapy last January and decided to go straight to the top (so I thought) and see a psychiatrist. So I did. And withing 20 minutes of meeting me he wanted to put me on meds. I said I would rather first try the psychoanalytic route. So he said OK, let me refer you to my Social Worker. And he actually said "I know you'll want to see a woman." Actually, no, I didn't!
But I gave her a try as well. I didn't interview her or ask about her orientation though. I had 3 sessions with her and there was NO chemistry. All she did was give me long looks of concern with never ending silent pauses. UGH!!! So I dropped her.
I now have a T who suits me. It helps a lot that we come from similar backgrounds and he has a lot of the same interests and can understand and participate in my sense of humor.
I'm just saying, always trust your gut about these things. You can interview all you want, but in the end it comes down to chemistry.
This is the end of the thread.
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