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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Penny on December 19, 2003, at 9:04:15
and avoided discussing anything important, including how I'm going to go without therapy for two weeks over the holidays. My therapy session last night was a bust. I did talk a bit about work and my frustrations there, but other than that...I just talked about nonsense. I told her that I've figured out the best way to get relaxed and fall asleep every night - I've been listening to Harry Potter V on CD. She agreed that that was a wonderful bedtime routine. So we spent a couple of minutes discussing HP. I told her about the 'therapy gripe' thread, particularly the part about my telling about my pdoc eating in front of me and how we don't always like to see our therapist's and pdoc's as human...she thought that was cute. I told her about the last episode of Judging Amy, where Amy's mom Maxine (Tyne Daly), who is a social worker for those of you who don't watch the show, decides to use her certificate in Marriage and Family Counseling that she's kept current for years but has never used, and she ends up telling this man who's crying and carrying on in his session to "get a grip!" I told her that I suspected many therapists, including her, have felt like saying that on more than one occasion - I told her that I'm sure the thought has crossed her mind, to tell me to 'get a grip' and told her "Thank you for not doing that!" She said it was more likely that she would find herself biting her tongue when working with her 15-year-old patients, when they tell her about getting a piercing or something.
So, I managed to avoid any and all truly serious and therapeutic discussion, again. Perhaps this should be my New Year's Resolution - to get more serious in therapy. sigh.
I did, however, give her the ornaments I painted for her - two little kitty picture frames. She said she loved them and knew exactly which pictures she would put in them (she has two cats). She thanked me several times. I'm taking the one I've painted for my pdoc (a jumping-jack Santa) to him tonight.
Now if I can just make it without my therapist until Jan. 6. Sigh...
:-(
P
Posted by judy1 on December 19, 2003, at 9:50:41
In reply to I wasted time..., posted by Penny on December 19, 2003, at 9:04:15
Penny,
not all sessions can be 'the big breakthrough'. it sounds like you needed to relax and enjoy speaking to your therp- what's wrong with that? I look at it as improving social skills :-). I'm glad she liked the Xmas gift- it sounds like you put a lot of thought into it. enjoy your holidays- a lot of therps like to leave the year on a up note, and not leave you with heavy issues to think about during Xmas. mine does the same.
take care, judy
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 19, 2003, at 10:13:52
In reply to I wasted time..., posted by Penny on December 19, 2003, at 9:04:15
Penny, I discussed the same episode of Judging Amy with my shrink yesterday! Great minds think alike I guess.
Maybe you can use the two weeks you go without therapy to outline some of the more "serious" topic you want to discuss. perhaps you could give this list to your therapist so she knows to concentrate more on these issues instead of just letting the session meander?
Posted by Karen_kay on December 19, 2003, at 12:10:21
In reply to Re: I wasted time..., posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 19, 2003, at 10:13:52
What, therapists sometimes allow you to not talk about the hard stuff before they leave you for two weeks? Mine is a jerk (how many times have I said that?)!!! He made me talk about a bunch of very hard things and then the last few minutes he was like "And this means that you are really ready to start remembering exactly what happened. We'll continue discussing what happened in two weeks." I was just like "Huh?"... You mean you're not going to be around? But, you promised... Men, I swear...
Penny, it is OK to not just jump into discussing the hard stuff, especially since you'll be without your therapist for a while. It would be a great time to make a plan of action, while you have a break from therapy. Make a commitment to start talking about the hard stuff. I really thought it would be harder than it is. It is hard to talk about it, and it is hard to deal with it. But, it isn't nearly as hard as ignoring it. If you don't deal with it soon, it will come back to bite you. Take it from me! I've dissociated so much that my memory is severly suffering. I mean I have trouble remembering my own age. And as a student, that sucks. I have to work so hard just to get a B in class. I used to make the Dean's list.
So, I urge you to take advantage of the help you have. But, you have to be ready. It took me quite a while to finally be ready to talk aobut things. And I still hesitate a bit. And I still argue with him. For instance, he wants me to close my eyes and describe my dad during the session. And I refuse everytime. I guess it's because I don't want to freak out in front of him. He seems to think he'd be able to control me. Ha, he has more confindence in himself than I do :)Oh, and it might help to start with some of the things you've made progress with from your other therapist. Something smaller (not to say there is a scale or anything) but if you've made some headway with some issues, start there and work your way up...
Posted by zenn4 on December 19, 2003, at 12:43:36
In reply to Re: I wasted time...Penny, posted by Karen_kay on December 19, 2003, at 12:10:21
Sometimes a break in therapy can give you a new (hopefully better perspective). Since I've been having problems with my therapist/pdoc and haven't gone since Thanksgiving basically. I've come to the realization that therpists aren't the end all - be all I sometimes make them out to be. They are human. They do make mistakes, sometimes big mistakes. Some bad things happened to me during this time, a good friend of mine died etc. and it's been tough but I recognize that I can get through it. Sometimes, it's true therapy is pretty ho-hum and you don't come upon any great insights and they can't give you any good "advice". Try not to get too frustrated and hang in there.
Posted by tabitha on December 20, 2003, at 0:28:38
In reply to I wasted time..., posted by Penny on December 19, 2003, at 9:04:15
I don't know, it sounds like a perfectly normal session to me. I do so much just rambling or complaining about 'little' things, just everything that's on my mind. At least that's what most of my sessions were like until I started doing the group stuff.
Every now and then I'd tell her I felt like I had wasted the session and she'd find some way to make it meaningful, pull out the thread of what I said and put some spin on it that made it seem like it was about important themes in my growth as a person. I would usually doubt her summary and suspect it was really just some kind of pollyanna trick therapists do, but it made me feel better about rambling.
Posted by pegasus on December 20, 2003, at 1:03:12
In reply to I wasted time..., posted by Penny on December 19, 2003, at 9:04:15
You know, sometimes I think those "wasting time" sessions can be really helpful too. If the hard stuff just doesn't come, then maybe it'll make things easier later if you let yourself coast for a while, and enjoy the relationship part of therapy on its own. I mean, if what you need most is just some refuge and kind company, or some sense of being connected, or whatever, then getting that from your therapist is good, right?
But I know it can feel wastful, especially if you're strapped for cash or time. Maybe you can look at it as helping you build up the motivation (i.e., guilt or whatever you're feeling) to really get into some productive work in your next session. Sort of the procrastinator technique.
At any rate, I hope you can let yourself off the hook for this one, and feel good about giving her a really sweet and thoughtful gift that she likes! That's so brave.
Good luck over the holidays. I think you're in good company worrying about that one. Maybe we can all help each other through it.
-P
Posted by Dinah on December 20, 2003, at 10:42:44
In reply to I wasted time..., posted by Penny on December 19, 2003, at 9:04:15
I always deliberately make the last session before a stretch of therapy-less time a light one. Since he's gone so d*mn frequently, that makes for a lot of light sessions. But I do think it sometimes helps the general positive feelings and sends me into the holidays feeling ok, so I don't at all consider it a waste of time. I think that before one vacation we talked about childhood holidays, his as well as mine. Just the good side of the memories.
I'm thinking of bringing cards to the last session before Christmas if he's going to be away the week after. He *still* hasn't found out his plans, but in the past when it's taken this long for him to decide, he generally does take off. Totally annoying man, not to have told me by now. I told him I needed to know whether or not to dread Christmas. He seemed really surprised that I'd say that and laughed like he didn't think I was serious. They really are clueless aren't they?
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