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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by judy1 on July 31, 2002, at 22:40:19
I think this must be transference- I get extremely upset at my male psychiatrist. I hold him to much higher standards then my female therapist, and I know I'm overreacting now. I never get upset at my therapist, but the smallest thing with him and I feel like getting rid of him, even though i know i will never find someone who won't land up threatening to put me in the hospital (my worst fear and I've mentioned the dozen plus shrinks i went through who either threatened hospitals or ECT). Now I'm debating canceling with my therapist and she did nothing. I realize none of this makes sense (which is why I'm posting it:-)- maybe someone can rationally explain why I'm behaving this way. Thanks- judy
Posted by Dinah on August 1, 2002, at 0:06:50
In reply to Having difficulty with shrink (my problem), posted by judy1 on July 31, 2002, at 22:40:19
I think it could be many things Judy. Since you specified that it was a man, perhaps you have the expectation that men will hurt you or let you down. Or maybe he looks a bit like an incompetent boob from your past.
Or if you were like me, maybe you just idealize him somewhat and get angry when he falls short of what you think he is. I know I get along much better with my therapist now that I've lowered my estimation of his intelligence and sensitivity, and therefore lowered my expectations.
I think the only way to try to get a handle on what's happening is to talk it out. So don't cancel that therapy appointment. :) You have something to talk about.
Good luck with it. If I remember correctly you've only been with this doctor a few years? I'm over seven years with my therapist now and things like this still crop up from time to time. But much less often now, especially since I have come to be completely open with him and bring things up at least by the next session rather than letting them fester.
Posted by judy1 on August 1, 2002, at 10:04:22
In reply to Re: Having difficulty with shrink (my problem) » judy1, posted by Dinah on August 1, 2002, at 0:06:50
Just about every sentence you wrote was right on- he does remind me of my past shrink, I do idealize him- and yes if he doesn't give me the type of answer I expect I get upset (but never let it show). Thanks for being so intuitive (methinks you've been there:-) Take care, judy
Posted by Dinah on August 1, 2002, at 10:47:50
In reply to Thank you Dinah! » Dinah, posted by judy1 on August 1, 2002, at 10:04:22
Posted by terra miller on August 1, 2002, at 11:11:41
In reply to Having difficulty with shrink (my problem), posted by judy1 on July 31, 2002, at 22:40:19
fwiw, it sounds a little like you're feeling threatened and your defenses are going up. sometimes this comes out in the form of "i'll quit before you can hurt me/hurt my feelings." sometimes when your shrink or therapist gets too close to the truth, those defenses go up often without you knowing it. (and then it's called transference, which i hate.) you might look to see if either your shrink or therapist said something or even moved in a particular way to set something off inside of you. it's not likely to go away until you face and address it in some way that you can find tolerable... anywhere from talking to the person directly or writing it down on paper and throwing it away.
of course, i could have completely missed this one. :-)
take care.
terra
p.s.... i'm taking a break looking for a new pdoc. i'm emotionally beat from the whole experience. i still have an appt. scheduled with old shrink so that i don't run out of meds. i might put off until january looking again, since my insurance has run out for the year already.
Posted by judy1 on August 1, 2002, at 16:50:51
In reply to Re: Having difficulty with shrink (my problem) » judy1, posted by terra miller on August 1, 2002, at 11:11:41
You're still going to your therapist, right? And the shrink is just for meds? When I went shrink shopping (and yes it is incredibly draining), my internist helped with meds too- in case your refills run out from your old shrink. All I did was bring my bottles so he could see what I was taking. He did it for about 6 months until he really pushed me, I think he was concerned I needed 'real' help.
As far as my shrink- I liked your idea of writing things down, do you thinkit would be a mistake to give it to him? I expect so much from him, and he does remind me of my old shrink in some ways, so maybe that's some of the anger. My therapist wants me to try someone local that she really likes- but I think I would rather drive the 100 miles and try to repair my relationship with my shrink now. I've had him for 2 years now, and I know you understand how difficult it would be to start over with trust. The difference is he does therapy with me (not just meds) which I think is important because I'm so labile, he needs to understand me. As far as abandonment, you've got that right. My number one fear. I wish I had the money (he doesn't take insurance) and energy (to drive) to make things right. Sorry for going on so much. Take care, judy
Posted by terra miller on August 1, 2002, at 23:08:34
In reply to Hi Terra » terra miller, posted by judy1 on August 1, 2002, at 16:50:51
hi. about your shrink... have you two talked about how he feels about letters? they are all different. i understand having gone two years and not wanting to start over. that actually is such a good sign because that means you are more apt to work through discomfort than to run.. which means more opportunity for healing.
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