![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 7 to 31 of 43. Go back in thread:
Posted by crushedout on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:12
In reply to I can't even believe it. Maybe a trigger., posted by Dinah on July 19, 2005, at 23:28:41
Dinah, I'm so sorry. I somehow missed that you had another death recently. Two in one week seems crazy. I know how hard it is to lose a pet.
Posted by 10derHeart on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:12
In reply to I can't even believe it. Maybe a trigger., posted by Dinah on July 19, 2005, at 23:28:41
Posted by Bobby on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:13
In reply to I can't even believe it. Maybe a trigger., posted by Dinah on July 19, 2005, at 23:28:41
Posted by Dinah on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:13
In reply to I'm sorry Dinah (nm), posted by Bobby on July 20, 2005, at 1:04:30
It was rough because it was such a surprise. And came at a time when I was pretty so low that I don't think I could feel much more depressed. In the common sense of the word not the clinical sense. I didn't sleep well last night for the leaden weight in my belly.
It was also rough because of the proximity of the two deaths. As logical as I try to be, I sort of feel like the angel of death when that happens, and it's happened twice now in less than a year.
I was checking my third old dogs breathing all night, even though everyone says she's as healthy as a horse. I checked my husband's breathing a few times too.
But logically I know this was best for her. She was in significant pain from the arthritis for a few months, and couldn't take the more effective drugs. From time to time I wondered if I was doing her a service. But she still enjoyed getting attention, and still got as happy as could be at a doggy treat. Now she's out of pain, and died so peacefully right at the feet of her favorite person at the ripe old age of thirteen. Not that thirteen is old for my little dogs. But she was a medium size dog with a long coat. I understand it's older for them. What a lucky dog. Well, as lucky as a chronically anxious and neurotic dog can be. (Wonder why we got on so well?)
I'm going to have quite a crowd waiting for me in doggy heaven.
But here, I went from having six to having four in the space of a week. Why, I think we're down to normal in the dog area. For the first time since I was a teen.
Posted by Nikkit2 on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:13
In reply to I can't even believe it. Maybe a trigger., posted by Dinah on July 19, 2005, at 23:28:41
*hugs you*
I'm so sorry Dinah, that must be terribly upsetting for you..
*more hugs*
Posted by partlycloudy on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:13
In reply to I can't even believe it. Maybe a trigger., posted by Dinah on July 19, 2005, at 23:28:41
(((Oh, Dinah))) I'm so sorry for such a large loss. What a wonderful doggy mom you have been to your pets.
Thinking of you today.
pc
Posted by fallsfall on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:13
In reply to Thanks everyone., posted by Dinah on July 20, 2005, at 5:40:50
(((((Dinah)))))
And (furry) Dinah was a very special dog because she shared her name with you. She helped you to find a voice you didn't know you had. I am grateful to her for that.
I'm glad that she didn't suffer. And I hope that you can celebrate the loving life she had and keep her in your heart always.
With love,
Falls
Posted by Dinah on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:13
In reply to Re: Thanks everyone. » Dinah, posted by fallsfall on July 20, 2005, at 7:56:08
Just think how different my image would have been if I looked down and saw Lolli at my feet while registering. :)
Seriously, I'll never forget her. She was the only perfectly behaved dog I've ever had. Most likely because I took her in when she was older and already trained. :) I am not much of an authority figure. She was afraid of most everything, but so eager to do what was right. And nothing like burying your face in a full shepherd dog's coat when you feel like crying. There's a comfort there I recall from my childhood collie.
My husband and I were struck with how much her death mirrored her life. She didn't make a bit of fuss, and died at my feet.
I think she's got a special place in doggy heaven for the truly *good*.
Posted by bimini on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:13
In reply to Dinah, posted by Dinah on July 20, 2005, at 8:16:47
I have a slowly deminishing zoo myself. No matter if they bark, purr, peep, chirp or bubble, they are appreciated family members and greatly missed when they are gone.
bimini
Posted by gardenergirl on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:13
In reply to Dinah, posted by Dinah on July 20, 2005, at 8:16:47
Oh dear, Dinah. I'm so sorry. I'm glad it was peaceful, but I know the loss of a pet can hurt so darned much...even if logic says it's "okay."
It's been a rough time for you lately. Take extra gentle care. Please let me know what I can do to help.
(((((dinah))))))
gg
Posted by AuntieMel on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:13
In reply to Dinah, posted by Dinah on July 20, 2005, at 8:16:47
All our pets leave holes in our hearts when they go.
But I can't imagine not having furry friends.
I'm sorry.
Posted by Ilene on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:13
In reply to I can't even believe it. Maybe a trigger., posted by Dinah on July 19, 2005, at 23:28:41
I'm so sorry about your doggies. We had our old kitties put down a couple of years ago. I still miss them. Our current cats just aren't the same. It must be harder when you aren't expecting them to die.
At least animals don't know about mortality.
I.
Posted by MidnightBlue on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:13
In reply to Dinah, posted by Dinah on July 20, 2005, at 8:16:47
Tears in my eyes for both of you! Take care Dinah!
Hugs,
MidnightBlue
Posted by Jazzed on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:13
In reply to I can't even believe it. Maybe a trigger., posted by Dinah on July 19, 2005, at 23:28:41
Posted by Dinah on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:13
In reply to Re: ((((hugs Dinah)))) (nm) » Dinah, posted by Jazzed on July 20, 2005, at 15:55:01
I really appreciate it.
I called someone at rescue this morning, to put my name on the list. But I was pretty particular about what I wanted. Older (at least four or five), housebroken, well behaved, gentle, not dominant, able to get along with kids and small animals.
Imagine my distress to discover just how many possibilities there were. I thought it would take months or years to come up with a paragon like that. People utterly astonish me sometimes.
I'm still going to take my time. Adopting a dog that will be with you for years and years, especially a big one who can really make an impact on your life, is a big big decision.
I'm trying to decide if I'm quite *quite* ready. Right now I still feel like I've been run over by a manure truck. I told my therapist that I thought I felt so bad before she died that I wasn't sure that her death could make me feel worse. I think I was right.
It's so weird, watching myself behaving normally while inside every nerve feels alive with pain, and only Risperdal is keeping me going without dissolving in a puddle on the floor. Or a raging tirade. Come to think of it, those jangling nerve endings feel a whole lot more like pure rage than sadness.
It's kind of hard to consider myself as boiling with rage. But I think I am.
My husband always laughs at my lack of expression of feelings (in a nice way). He gives some quote, said in a very flat tone of voice. "I am enraged."
I'm not mad at anything in particular. Just life in general. And at loss.
Posted by Dinah on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:13
In reply to Thanks everyone., posted by Dinah on July 20, 2005, at 17:55:00
I know you'll likely redirect this. But could you just ask the thread to stop instead?
I can't handle the grief board when I'm feeling strong, and I know I can't handle it now.
I'd feel bad knowing that people might be responding and I don't feel able to brave the roiling seas of loss to venture to those shores.
Posted by Dinah on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:14
In reply to Thanks everyone., posted by Dinah on July 20, 2005, at 17:55:00
To be interested in looks? I'm not talking purebred or anything. But a beautiful golden coat or a satiny black coat, or a certain grace in form, brings a certain pleasure just in looking at them.
Personality is the most important thing, of course. Beauty can't make up for that.
Posted by gabbii on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:14
In reply to Is it terribly shallow of me, posted by Dinah on July 20, 2005, at 18:21:04
> To be interested in looks? I'm not talking purebred or anything. But a beautiful golden coat or a satiny black coat, or a certain grace in form, brings a certain pleasure just in looking at them.
>
Even people who pick the dogs who they think are ugly, because they feel sorry for them are still picking them based on looks. I bet there are just as many, if not more people who love ugly dogs because they think they are misfits,
which makes them not really misfits at all!
So you can even feel virtuous and take pity on a beautiful one because so many people love the "Charlie Brown Christmas tree dogs"
Posted by Dinah on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:14
In reply to Of course it isn't » Dinah, posted by gabbii on July 20, 2005, at 18:55:13
You have a special genius for making me smile, Gabbi.
Posted by Ilene on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:14
In reply to Is it terribly shallow of me, posted by Dinah on July 20, 2005, at 18:21:04
> To be interested in looks? I'm not talking purebred or anything. But a beautiful golden coat or a satiny black coat, or a certain grace in form, brings a certain pleasure just in looking at them.
>
> Personality is the most important thing, of course. Beauty can't make up for that.
>
>
Many years ago, my husband brought home a kitten in a cardboard box. I thought she was so ugly no one could ever love her. A few days later I was head over heels in love with her, and I thought she was the most beautiful cat on earth. It truly is in the eye of the beholder.I.
Posted by Sarah T. on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:14
In reply to Dinah, posted by Dinah on July 20, 2005, at 8:16:47
Dinah,
I'm very sorry to hear about your dog. You have suffered through a lot of loss this year. I think it would be wonderful if you could go on vacation for a week or so, away from the scene of so much of your pain. Is that possible?
Sarah
Posted by Dinah on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:14
In reply to Dinah » Dinah, posted by Sarah T. on July 20, 2005, at 19:27:32
Thanks Sarah. Actually we are. We're going to Southern California the first week of August.
I can't say I'm actually looking forward to it, but then I rarely do beforehand. I still manage to have fun on most of them anyway.
I'm guessing it's not going to be all that relaxed, though. My husband is planning it. :)
Posted by annierose on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:14
In reply to Re: Dinah » Sarah T., posted by Dinah on July 20, 2005, at 19:42:13
We went to Southern CA last summer, and fell in love. Just being on the beach, roasting marshmellows, looking at the summer sky, finding beach glass ... those are the memories I'll treasure. There's much to do, and much to take in. I hope you find that perfect balance. Enjoy!!
Annierose
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:14
In reply to Dr. Bob, posted by Dinah on July 20, 2005, at 18:09:53
> I can't handle the grief board when I'm feeling strong, and I know I can't handle it now.
>
> I'd feel bad knowing that people might be responding and I don't feel able to brave the roiling seas of loss to venture to those shores.Could you follow the redirected thread and not the rest of the board? My condolences,
Bob
Posted by Dinah on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:14
In reply to Re: roiling seas of loss » Dinah, posted by Dr. Bob on July 22, 2005, at 2:01:56
Yeah, I guess that's an option.
I just can't scroll through the whole board, but I could follow the link here and put one of those email notification thingies on it.
Thanks, Dr. Bob.
Go forward in thread:
Psycho-Babble Grief | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.