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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 43. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:12
The second sick dog just died at my foot. I didn't even realize it. She took a few deep breaths, or gasps. I looked down and she looked ok. I figured it was one of those throat or nose things they do.
Five or ten minutes later, I went to read to my son and tuck him in. He was nearly asleep so I was only gone a few minutes. When I came back I noticed her foot was oddly placed, so I bent down to check on her and she was dead.
I don't think I can blame myself for this one. She was gone so fast, even if I had understood the breaths were serious it wouldn't have made a difference.
I'm just stunned. Lolli Thursday, my namesake tonight. Both apparent heart attacks. Lolli in my arms, Dinah touching my foot.
I have to say, though, that's the way I'd like to go. She'd been in pain from the arthritis with a few bad flareups lately, but had been checked out thoroughly by two vets in the past month and declared otherwise ok. She died so peacefully I didn't even notice even though she was lying against my shoeless foot.
But I'm still just stunned and shocked.
Posted by sleepygirl on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:12
In reply to I can't even believe it. Maybe a trigger., posted by Dinah on July 19, 2005, at 23:28:41
That sounds so sad! I'm so sorry your furry loves are gone. At least she's (furry Dinah) not in pain. :(
Posted by Jen Star on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:12
In reply to I can't even believe it. Maybe a trigger., posted by Dinah on July 19, 2005, at 23:28:41
oh Dinah,
I'm so sorry. The loss of a pet is so sad! I'm at least glad that they went peacefully. You know the last one wasn't your fault either, right? If she wasn't so frail, normal activity would not have hurt her.I know it hurts so much when a dear pet dies. I'm sorry for your loss.
jenStar
Posted by Damos on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:12
In reply to I can't even believe it. Maybe a trigger., posted by Dinah on July 19, 2005, at 23:28:41
Posted by alexandra_k on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:12
In reply to I can't even believe it. Maybe a trigger., posted by Dinah on July 19, 2005, at 23:28:41
Peaceful in no pain and right by someone who loved her very much. My thoughts are with you.
Posted by All Done on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:12
In reply to I can't even believe it. Maybe a trigger., posted by Dinah on July 19, 2005, at 23:28:41
Oh, (((((Dinah))))). I can't even believe it. I'm so very sorry. The amount of loss you've experienced this year just seems so wrong.
I am glad Dinah was at your foot, though. She must have felt so safe and peaceful with you.
Please let me know if there's anything I can do and please, please remember to take care of yourself.
Hugs,
Laurie
Posted by crushedout on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:12
In reply to I can't even believe it. Maybe a trigger., posted by Dinah on July 19, 2005, at 23:28:41
Dinah, I'm so sorry. I somehow missed that you had another death recently. Two in one week seems crazy. I know how hard it is to lose a pet.
Posted by 10derHeart on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:12
In reply to I can't even believe it. Maybe a trigger., posted by Dinah on July 19, 2005, at 23:28:41
Posted by Bobby on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:13
In reply to I can't even believe it. Maybe a trigger., posted by Dinah on July 19, 2005, at 23:28:41
Posted by Dinah on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:13
In reply to I'm sorry Dinah (nm), posted by Bobby on July 20, 2005, at 1:04:30
It was rough because it was such a surprise. And came at a time when I was pretty so low that I don't think I could feel much more depressed. In the common sense of the word not the clinical sense. I didn't sleep well last night for the leaden weight in my belly.
It was also rough because of the proximity of the two deaths. As logical as I try to be, I sort of feel like the angel of death when that happens, and it's happened twice now in less than a year.
I was checking my third old dogs breathing all night, even though everyone says she's as healthy as a horse. I checked my husband's breathing a few times too.
But logically I know this was best for her. She was in significant pain from the arthritis for a few months, and couldn't take the more effective drugs. From time to time I wondered if I was doing her a service. But she still enjoyed getting attention, and still got as happy as could be at a doggy treat. Now she's out of pain, and died so peacefully right at the feet of her favorite person at the ripe old age of thirteen. Not that thirteen is old for my little dogs. But she was a medium size dog with a long coat. I understand it's older for them. What a lucky dog. Well, as lucky as a chronically anxious and neurotic dog can be. (Wonder why we got on so well?)
I'm going to have quite a crowd waiting for me in doggy heaven.
But here, I went from having six to having four in the space of a week. Why, I think we're down to normal in the dog area. For the first time since I was a teen.
Posted by Nikkit2 on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:13
In reply to I can't even believe it. Maybe a trigger., posted by Dinah on July 19, 2005, at 23:28:41
*hugs you*
I'm so sorry Dinah, that must be terribly upsetting for you..
*more hugs*
Posted by partlycloudy on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:13
In reply to I can't even believe it. Maybe a trigger., posted by Dinah on July 19, 2005, at 23:28:41
(((Oh, Dinah))) I'm so sorry for such a large loss. What a wonderful doggy mom you have been to your pets.
Thinking of you today.
pc
Posted by fallsfall on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:13
In reply to Thanks everyone., posted by Dinah on July 20, 2005, at 5:40:50
(((((Dinah)))))
And (furry) Dinah was a very special dog because she shared her name with you. She helped you to find a voice you didn't know you had. I am grateful to her for that.
I'm glad that she didn't suffer. And I hope that you can celebrate the loving life she had and keep her in your heart always.
With love,
Falls
Posted by Dinah on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:13
In reply to Re: Thanks everyone. » Dinah, posted by fallsfall on July 20, 2005, at 7:56:08
Just think how different my image would have been if I looked down and saw Lolli at my feet while registering. :)
Seriously, I'll never forget her. She was the only perfectly behaved dog I've ever had. Most likely because I took her in when she was older and already trained. :) I am not much of an authority figure. She was afraid of most everything, but so eager to do what was right. And nothing like burying your face in a full shepherd dog's coat when you feel like crying. There's a comfort there I recall from my childhood collie.
My husband and I were struck with how much her death mirrored her life. She didn't make a bit of fuss, and died at my feet.
I think she's got a special place in doggy heaven for the truly *good*.
Posted by bimini on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:13
In reply to Dinah, posted by Dinah on July 20, 2005, at 8:16:47
I have a slowly deminishing zoo myself. No matter if they bark, purr, peep, chirp or bubble, they are appreciated family members and greatly missed when they are gone.
bimini
Posted by gardenergirl on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:13
In reply to Dinah, posted by Dinah on July 20, 2005, at 8:16:47
Oh dear, Dinah. I'm so sorry. I'm glad it was peaceful, but I know the loss of a pet can hurt so darned much...even if logic says it's "okay."
It's been a rough time for you lately. Take extra gentle care. Please let me know what I can do to help.
(((((dinah))))))
gg
Posted by AuntieMel on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:13
In reply to Dinah, posted by Dinah on July 20, 2005, at 8:16:47
All our pets leave holes in our hearts when they go.
But I can't imagine not having furry friends.
I'm sorry.
Posted by Ilene on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:13
In reply to I can't even believe it. Maybe a trigger., posted by Dinah on July 19, 2005, at 23:28:41
I'm so sorry about your doggies. We had our old kitties put down a couple of years ago. I still miss them. Our current cats just aren't the same. It must be harder when you aren't expecting them to die.
At least animals don't know about mortality.
I.
Posted by MidnightBlue on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:13
In reply to Dinah, posted by Dinah on July 20, 2005, at 8:16:47
Tears in my eyes for both of you! Take care Dinah!
Hugs,
MidnightBlue
Posted by Jazzed on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:13
In reply to I can't even believe it. Maybe a trigger., posted by Dinah on July 19, 2005, at 23:28:41
Posted by Dinah on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:13
In reply to Re: ((((hugs Dinah)))) (nm) » Dinah, posted by Jazzed on July 20, 2005, at 15:55:01
I really appreciate it.
I called someone at rescue this morning, to put my name on the list. But I was pretty particular about what I wanted. Older (at least four or five), housebroken, well behaved, gentle, not dominant, able to get along with kids and small animals.
Imagine my distress to discover just how many possibilities there were. I thought it would take months or years to come up with a paragon like that. People utterly astonish me sometimes.
I'm still going to take my time. Adopting a dog that will be with you for years and years, especially a big one who can really make an impact on your life, is a big big decision.
I'm trying to decide if I'm quite *quite* ready. Right now I still feel like I've been run over by a manure truck. I told my therapist that I thought I felt so bad before she died that I wasn't sure that her death could make me feel worse. I think I was right.
It's so weird, watching myself behaving normally while inside every nerve feels alive with pain, and only Risperdal is keeping me going without dissolving in a puddle on the floor. Or a raging tirade. Come to think of it, those jangling nerve endings feel a whole lot more like pure rage than sadness.
It's kind of hard to consider myself as boiling with rage. But I think I am.
My husband always laughs at my lack of expression of feelings (in a nice way). He gives some quote, said in a very flat tone of voice. "I am enraged."
I'm not mad at anything in particular. Just life in general. And at loss.
Posted by Dinah on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:13
In reply to Thanks everyone., posted by Dinah on July 20, 2005, at 17:55:00
I know you'll likely redirect this. But could you just ask the thread to stop instead?
I can't handle the grief board when I'm feeling strong, and I know I can't handle it now.
I'd feel bad knowing that people might be responding and I don't feel able to brave the roiling seas of loss to venture to those shores.
Posted by Dinah on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:14
In reply to Thanks everyone., posted by Dinah on July 20, 2005, at 17:55:00
To be interested in looks? I'm not talking purebred or anything. But a beautiful golden coat or a satiny black coat, or a certain grace in form, brings a certain pleasure just in looking at them.
Personality is the most important thing, of course. Beauty can't make up for that.
Posted by gabbii on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:14
In reply to Is it terribly shallow of me, posted by Dinah on July 20, 2005, at 18:21:04
> To be interested in looks? I'm not talking purebred or anything. But a beautiful golden coat or a satiny black coat, or a certain grace in form, brings a certain pleasure just in looking at them.
>
Even people who pick the dogs who they think are ugly, because they feel sorry for them are still picking them based on looks. I bet there are just as many, if not more people who love ugly dogs because they think they are misfits,
which makes them not really misfits at all!
So you can even feel virtuous and take pity on a beautiful one because so many people love the "Charlie Brown Christmas tree dogs"
Posted by Dinah on July 24, 2005, at 9:56:14
In reply to Of course it isn't » Dinah, posted by gabbii on July 20, 2005, at 18:55:13
You have a special genius for making me smile, Gabbi.
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