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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by shanpan on May 1, 2005, at 10:26:51
Selective Mutism is a childhood anxiety disorder.
Severe social anxiety apprears to be the underlying cause, and most notable is the child's inability to speak in social situations even though they demonstrate in comfortable situations that they both understand and are capable of speech.
Most of these children are classified by others as being "just shy", but SM is much more than shyness, and left untreated can have negative long-term effects on a child's social and academic functioning.
Many children are identified as being Selectively Mute after they encounter situations in school where they are expected to speak but are unable to.
There is help for these children and their families!
SMCanada is holding a workshop on May 14, 2005, in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada.
Guest speakers include child psychiatrist Dr. Deborah Reisner, art and family therapist Nicola Sherwin-Roller, pharmacist Brenda Yuzdepski, craniosacral therapist Linda Fisher, as well as Shannon Panchyshyn for SMCanada.
Workshop topics include: obtaining an accurate diagnosis and finding treatment for your child, helping your child understand anxiety, anger management for children, collaborating with your therapist, SSRI medication – making informed decisions, physical symptoms of stress, craniosacral therapy and other natural methods of stress relief, finding the support and resources that you need, all about SM, what to do while you’re on the waiting list, Sensory Integration Disorder and occupational therapy, Canadian services and research, success at school, and how SMCanada can help.
The workshop content is of interest to parents and extended family, teachers and school staff, daycare and childcare workers, psychologists, family therapists, social workers, university students, and anyone with an interest in learning to understand this exceptional group of children. Together, we invite participants to look beyond the silence into the depths of this childhood anxiety disorder.
The beautiful surroundings and retreat atmosphere of Cedar Lodge will allow families to get to know one another and find much needed support.
It is hard to describe the sense of isolation that I felt in the first several years of dealing with my daughter’s SM. I knew that people were trying to understand what was happening with Jaiden, but at the same time realized that many truly weren’t getting it. It was an incredible experience to meet other parents and children at the SMG~CAN family retreat in Baltimore last summer, and to know that I was among people who really understood what we were going through. I came away with a strong support network and new friendships, and my daughter came away with a new sense of self-confidence that shone through in everything that she did. The family aspect of the conference was invaluable, and we hope to create the same supportive atmosphere for families at our workshop in May.
As part of the workshop, we will share the story of our daughter’s challenges with SM. “A year ago, Jaiden was only able to speak with a handful of people, and every day posed a struggle. Working closely with Jaiden’s school staff, we used a variety of techniques which allowed her to experience tremendous success this year. It is impossible to express the feeling of pride and joy that I feel each morning now, as I watch Jaiden head happily off to school where she is now comfortable speaking with all staff and students. My personal goal is to help other families find the help they need to achieve this level of success with their children.
The mandate of SMCanada is to provide education and support to families facing the unique challenges of Selective Mutism. The group intends to apply for charitable status so that funds raised can be used to directly assist families with treatment.
For information regarding the SMCanada workshop please contact:
Shannon Panchyshyn
(306) 862-9192
www.selectivemutism.ca
Please note: the website is in it's infancy and we are having some technical difficulties getting information posted at the moment! New information should appear on the site daily.
Posted by Lydia on May 4, 2005, at 9:13:06
In reply to Help For Children With Selective Mutism, posted by shanpan on April 30, 2005, at 17:07:28
Thank you for posting this! I feel that childhood anxiety disorders, especially Selective Mutism, are grossly underdiagnosed. Most parents with "shy" children may even find the quality endearing; in reality, the child is suffering tremendously.
It's very encouraging to hear about SMCanada and the support they're providing.
Still, there need to be more groups like this, I'm not aware of any in the States, and parents need to be aware that the "shyness" their child exhibits is actually silent terror that will lead to all kinds of problems down the road.
Posted by Dinah on May 5, 2005, at 23:27:59
In reply to Re: Selective mutism article, posted by shanpan on April 30, 2005, at 17:04:39
Posted by henrietta on May 5, 2005, at 23:27:59
In reply to Re: Selective mutism article, posted by shanpan on April 30, 2005, at 17:04:39
Thank you for this! I am working, as a volunteer, with a child who simply won't speak, will hardly ever smile, even with me bringing M&ms to teach colors (and to eat), even with m e doing insanely absurd vaudvillian renditions of the ABC song (dancing, singing)... Yes, there is a language problem, but I've worke3d with so many others with the same language problems who do respond...and learn quickly. She is so contained. She doesn't even speak when encouraged to do so in her first language....From what I know about her and her family I don't believe there are abuse issues. I don;t believe her problems with speaking can be solely attributed to her being a brand new immigrant stuck in an inappropriate school environment. (Which I have railed against to no avail). Frankly, I'm at my wit's end.... She doesn't speak in any of the 3 languages she undoubtedly comprehends. Well, she will speak, fearfully and almost inaudibly, if pressed, but then I feel I'm torturing her. (When I ask her to speak loudly enough for me to hear.)
Sorry. This is of no use to anyone. Just want to say thanks for opening up another avenue to explore in my efforts to help this child.
Posted by fires on May 5, 2005, at 23:27:59
In reply to Re: Selective mutism article, posted by henrietta on April 30, 2005, at 20:29:54
> Thank you for this! I am working, as a volunteer, with a child who simply won't speak, will hardly ever smile, even with me bringing M&ms to teach colors (and to eat), even with m e doing insanely absurd vaudvillian renditions of the ABC song (dancing, singing)... Yes, there is a language problem, but I've worke3d with so many others with the same language problems who do respond...and learn quickly. She is so contained. She doesn't even speak when encouraged to do so in her first language....From what I know about her and her family I don't believe there are abuse issues. I don;t believe her problems with speaking can be solely attributed to her being a brand new immigrant stuck in an inappropriate school environment. (Which I have railed against to no avail). Frankly, I'm at my wit's end.... She doesn't speak in any of the 3 languages she undoubtedly comprehends. Well, she will speak, fearfully and almost inaudibly, if pressed, but then I feel I'm torturing her. (When I ask her to speak loudly enough for me to hear.)
> Sorry. This is of no use to anyone. Just want to say thanks for opening up another avenue to explore in my efforts to help this child.I'm curious if you have tried any paradoxical techniques? Like: You not speaking - just smiling and doing whatever else you might do to help her nonverbally. Also, have you tried telling her that you don't care if she doesn't speak?
Posted by shanpan on May 5, 2005, at 23:27:59
In reply to Re: Selective mutism article, posted by henrietta on April 30, 2005, at 20:29:54
Henrietta,
Dealing with an SM child can seem like the ultimate exercise in frustration!
SM does seem to enjoy a higher prevalence with bilingual children, and in girls.
Here are some suggestions for you:
First of all, remove all expectations on the child to speak. This is much easier than it sounds. Your entire school staff needs to be educated and on side with the effort.
Provide her with nonverbal means of communication to include her whenever possible. She can have a ring of picture cards to indicate her answers and needs. If the teachers are conscious of the wording of their questions, they can make sure that they ask questions that can be answered with a yes or no nod.
Instead of focusing on trying to get this little girl to speak, make your goal be reducing her anxiety. SM is based on severe social anxiety, and the child is likely experiencing all kinds of physical symptoms of stress that she is unable to voice to you.
Set goals for communication, but make sure that you move in baby steps.
The biggest thing is to promote understanding and acceptance of her condition among your staff.
Feel free to contact me directly if you would like some more detailed help.
Shannon
Posted by henrietta on May 5, 2005, at 23:27:59
In reply to Re: Selective mutism article » henrietta, posted by fires on April 30, 2005, at 20:53:40
That's a very good idea. I think I'll see what happens if I never again ask or prompt her to speak. I already usually have her respond by pointing. I FEEL like I don't talk much myself, but I imagine it may not feel like that to her. I'll try being more quiet... (The vaudeville was a freakish, desperate attempt to make her smile, not part of my usual repertoire, as it were. :})
Thanks for your suggestions.
(P.S. She didn't smile, by the way. She just looked like she thought I was nuts. Perceptive kid.)
Posted by henrietta on May 5, 2005, at 23:27:59
In reply to Re: Selective mutism article, posted by shanpan on April 30, 2005, at 21:20:48
Thank you for your suggestions. I've already been instinctively doing a lot of that, but have not had much faith in myself. You have helped me a lot by affirming my instincts. I had decided after Friday's session with her that I'm just going to DO things with her, like putting together puzzles, coloring, etc. for the rest of the year. I thought I'd comment from time to time on what we're doing, praise her activities, and not overtly try to "teach" or require her to "perform" in any way. Since I'm just a volunteer, the school can't fire me for not being able to demonstrate quantifiable progress!! (No Child Left Behind and all that.)
Really, thanks so much for the encouragement.
I already feel much better about the next 6 weeks, much more optimistic! And I feel like I've been given "permission" to not ask her to speak AT ALL. I don't think I'd have been able to make that big a leap without you and Fires.
Posted by shanpan on May 5, 2005, at 23:27:59
In reply to Re: Selective mutism article » shanpan, posted by henrietta on May 1, 2005, at 8:06:07
Henrietta,
I think that much of what we need to do for these children involves allowing ourselves to trust our instincts.
As parents, caregivers, educators, and therapists, we need to give ourselves permission to do what is best for the child rather than to try to make them behave like other children.
Unless a person suffers from social anxiety themselves, it is difficult for them to truly understand the way these children feel, and how desperately terrified they are.
Adults can identify fears as rational and irrational, and usually can force themselves to act accordingly. For children, fear is fear, rational or not, and that's just the way it is.
I think that you will find that as you remove the pressure from this little girl she will begin to respond to you.
My daughter and I made a game of Animal Go Fish. At first we played in an empty classroom -- just the two of us -- to allow her to feel comfortable vocalizing. Instead of naming the animals, we made their sound. It was fun, and we laughed a lot. Then we invited in a friend that she was comfortable speaking with already and continued our game. While this was going on, the teacher aid would quietly enter the classroom. She did little things as far away from us as possible such as sweeping the floor or getting something from a cupboard. If Jaiden's anxiety rose and she changed her demeanor or her volume of vocalization, the aide immediately disappeared from the room.
Gradually, over the course of several months, the aide increased her proximity to our game. Eventually she was sitting at a table a few feet away working on something and pretending not to have any interest in our game. Finally, she was invited to join in the game. Again, we watched closely for any signs of distress, and she would excuse herself from the game when Jaiden seemed uncomfortable.
This particular aide was wonderful, and very willing to get down on the floor and play. Her animal sounds were all exaggerated and hilarious. Laughter is one great way to help to break down the barriers for SM kids.
When Jaiden had been using full voice vocalizations in front of the aide for several weeks, I made a point of not being able to go to the school one day. The game carried on, and Jaiden always had the choice of one of two other children to invite into the game so that she was never alone with the adults.
The game went smoothly that day, and from there my absence increased.
Jaiden was able to transfer her comfortable vocalization with the aide to the classroom and playground settings. She particularly like to use cat sounds, and after a while you could hear words mixed in with cat sounds.
At the end of the school year, she spoke with the aide. This was significant -- the first adult that she had spoken to outside of our family!
What was measurable was the decrease in Jaiden's anxiety level. It could be seen in her physical state, and her willingness to participate nonverbally in classroom activities. The speaking was a bonus.
We played the fish game (and others) over a period of five months before comfort and speech were established. Patience and baby steps.
Perhaps you could suggest to your school to measure the girl's anxiety rather than her ability to speak in the school setting.
When you remove the pressure from yourself that you are feeling to make the girl talk, you will also find yourself enjoying your time with her and making more progress.
Good luck.
Posted by henrietta on May 5, 2005, at 23:28:00
In reply to Re: Selective mutism article, posted by shanpan on May 1, 2005, at 9:14:08
Shannon,
Yes, yes! Thank you again. I already feel MY anxiety decreasing, and I've long been afraid that the pressure I feel, the anxiety I feel, are only making things worse for the child. I'm just adding to her problems. I've thought that I should quit, actually, because of this, but keep thinking if I could only find the right route ....
If only I could relax more...I've been to several selective mutism sites this morning. (I'd never heard of selective mutism till last night!) I can't thank you enough for
bringing this to our attention. I am immensely grateful to you.Henrietta
Posted by shanpan on May 5, 2005, at 23:28:00
In reply to Re: Selective mutism article » shanpan, posted by henrietta on May 1, 2005, at 10:32:41
Thank goodness for people like yourself who don't quit, but who are prepared to open their minds to educate themselves so that they can help a child.
I wish that there were more people like you!
Please keep me informed and updated. I'll help you in any way that I can.
Shannon
Posted by henrietta on May 5, 2005, at 23:28:00
In reply to Re: Selective mutism article, posted by shanpan on May 1, 2005, at 13:51:37
Posted by shanpan on May 6, 2005, at 11:43:31
In reply to Re: I will! Thanks again for all your help. (nm) » shanpan, posted by henrietta on May 2, 2005, at 14:35:35
We have had several requests about obtaining video copy of the May 14th workshop.
We are trying to make arrangements to offer live streaming video.
If anyone is interested in more information or registering to "attend" the workshop in this way they can contact me directly:
School staff are key to a child's success in overcoming Selective Mutism.
Our daughter is as successful as she is today largely because her entire school participated in helping her to achieve her goals.
Posted by henrietta on May 11, 2005, at 19:29:40
I thought this thread had been moved over here to Parents, as if parents are the only people who care about children....but that's another tale....
But I can't find the thread on selective mutism...
Shanpan: Just wanted to let you know that since our interchange I've had 3 sessions with the silent child , and the moment I stopped asking her to say anything, she started saying more than she'd said for 3 months! I know this seems too good to be true, but it IS true.
No, she isn't speaking in full sentences or anything, but she is volunteering words constantly, repeating words I say, and more importantly, she is grinning smiling playing tricks on me with real humor and gusto---interacting!! She's thinking and responding and having fun! The fear is gone. (Or what I interpreted as fear.)
It seems so amazing to me that such a simple
thing---don't ASK her to speak---can have such a profound effect.
Thanks again! I am immensely grateful.
henrietta
Posted by henrietta on May 11, 2005, at 19:34:52
In reply to Selective Mutism--shanpan?, posted by henrietta on May 11, 2005, at 19:29:40
Posted by BrianS on May 28, 2005, at 16:36:49
In reply to Help For Children With Selective Mutism, posted by shanpan on April 30, 2005, at 17:07:28
Selective mutism, if untreated, continues to affect the child when he grows, as is my case. I am 19 and still suffer from it. Most organizations I have seen only help children. Is there any help out there for teens and adults?
Posted by Cecilia on July 4, 2005, at 23:59:36
In reply to Selective Mutism--shanpan?, posted by henrietta on May 11, 2005, at 19:29:40
Just a comment on selective mutism. I think if a child has this it may actually be a sign that they are doing better, feeling safer, than the child who forces herself to talk. When I was a child I was desperately shy but would never in a millon years have been brave enough to refuse to answer when pressured to by an adult. I can still feel the overwhelming terror, terrified to talk, even more terrified of what would happen if I didn`t. Cecilia
This is the end of the thread.
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