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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 55 to 79 of 89. Go back in thread:
Posted by stellabystarlight on April 24, 2009, at 17:27:40
In reply to Re: PWD Yet Again » Dr. Bob, posted by SLS on April 24, 2009, at 17:19:06
> Dr. Bob:
>
> That was a very compassionate act.
>
> I can't remember your ever attempting to allow someone to heal in such a way as to actually offer a potentially insightful and helpful suggestion.
>
>
> - Scott*********************************************************************************************
I applaud this compassionate act from Dr. Bob. I would love to see more of it...more consistently.It's wonderful to see people work it out given the opportunity.
Stellabystarlight
Posted by stellabystarlight on April 24, 2009, at 17:58:31
In reply to hey guys » rskontos, posted by raisinb on April 24, 2009, at 17:15:57
I believe that rules are always needed. Period. We live with many different rules everyday. What hurts is when the rules are carried out in a subjective way.
My perception is that some people are getting blocked for weeks and months when others get warnings for sayings worse...or sometimes they're not even getting a warning.
Rules, rule makers, and people who carry out the rules aren't perfect, and it is a part of life...but, sometimes it's so glaringly unfair ....this makes me personally feel unsafe and hurt.
Even though I lurk most of the time, I come here for support and to support others if I can like so many of you here, and it's very tough to watch someone get blocked and shut-out when they have helped you.
Twinleaf is a good person...she was just trying to help another poster going through a hard time.
And then it went out of control.
Stellabystarlight
Posted by garnet71 on April 24, 2009, at 18:21:12
In reply to and of course there are more..., posted by alexandra_k on April 22, 2009, at 1:32:05
So we have this thing in the U.S. military called an "amnesty box". When you are departing from a war zone and have illegal paraphenelia, before you have to go through search points at the Port, you can place it in the box and the illegal act is ignored. Stuff like bomb shells, stuff from Sadaam's palaces, Iraqi weapons, other stuff people take as souveniers, drugs--anything.
People will look the other way--in terms of the law--if a person had the sensibility to discard what they knew they shouldn't have brought back. It encourages trust and good will. It allows reflection. It fosters integrity-doing the right thing.
So how about having a PB amnesty box--forgive and unblock everyone - and start over. I bet you like psychological experiments and would be interested in the outcome. Let's have an amnesty moment, Bob.
AmnestyBob
New beginnings.
Posted by rskontos on April 24, 2009, at 21:37:55
In reply to Hey Dr. Bob - how 'bout this? » alexandra_k, posted by garnet71 on April 24, 2009, at 18:21:12
> So we have this thing in the U.S. military called an "amnesty box". When you are departing from a war zone and have illegal paraphenelia, before you have to go through search points at the Port, you can place it in the box and the illegal act is ignored. Stuff like bomb shells, stuff from Sadaam's palaces, Iraqi weapons, other stuff people take as souveniers, drugs--anything.
>
> People will look the other way--in terms of the law--if a person had the sensibility to discard what they knew they shouldn't have brought back. It encourages trust and good will. It allows reflection. It fosters integrity-doing the right thing.
>
> So how about having a PB amnesty box--forgive and unblock everyone - and start over. I bet you like psychological experiments and would be interested in the outcome. Let's have an amnesty moment, Bob.
>
> AmnestyBob
>
> New beginnings.
excellent suggestion, I like the amnesty box idea.rsk
Posted by rskontos on April 24, 2009, at 21:46:27
In reply to Hey Dr. Bob - how 'bout this? » alexandra_k, posted by garnet71 on April 24, 2009, at 18:21:12
Due to this thread, and the one above by Verne, titled Blocks,
I think my babble days are over. Three years is long enough. I've mainly been posting here versus psychology board and even that isn't feeling like it used too.
I read that Fayeroe was block for saying something about Bob and a gnat, again I repeat that some get blocked for being uncivil to you Bob, and some don't who cuss.
I have never been blocked or even PBC because I try too hard and I am too sensitive but this bull*hit has gone on long enough. I am finding the blocks uncivil if you ask me and even if you don't.
Take care all Babblers, you know I care about you but I can't take this attitude of Dr. Bob anymore. I will leave my babblemail on but I am not going to even check anymore.
This is toxic as far as I am concerned. Fayeroe, Twinleaf, Happyflower, Zaze, all my blocked friends are gone and others I like that never post anymore, it is just too much.
Dr. Bob needs to take a step back and stop playing with us.
I feel like a lab rat.
bye,
rsk
Posted by stellabystarlight on April 24, 2009, at 22:11:13
In reply to Re: bye for now babble...., posted by rskontos on April 24, 2009, at 21:46:27
Hi Rskontos,
I'd like to let you know that I've always appreciated all of your posts...you're always sensitive and kind.
I was just thinking about your gorgeous talented daughter, and wondering how she's doing with her singing.
She really does have that "it". She must be your pride and joy.I will miss reading your thoughts.
You take care, Rskontos.
Bye for now.Stellabystarlight
Posted by softheprairie on April 25, 2009, at 3:21:47
In reply to Re: bye for now babble...., posted by rskontos on April 24, 2009, at 21:46:27
Posted by raisinb on April 25, 2009, at 13:31:05
In reply to Re: bye for now babble...., posted by rskontos on April 24, 2009, at 21:46:27
I will miss you too, rsk. I hope you come back soon. You have been such a help to me here.
Posted by raisinb on April 25, 2009, at 14:56:01
In reply to Re: hey guys » raisinb, posted by stellabystarlight on April 24, 2009, at 17:58:31
I hear you, stella. Subjective and inconsistent or harsh enforcement can be just as bad as no rules. If Twinleaf was unfairly blocked, I agree with bringing her back into the fold. I miss her wisdom too.
Hope we all get through this.
Posted by Kath on April 26, 2009, at 16:21:29
In reply to Re: PWD Yet Again » Dr. Bob, posted by SLS on April 24, 2009, at 17:19:06
> > Thanks for apologizing to Scott. Maybe you're straining to stay sober, too?
> >
> > Bob
>
> Dr. Bob:
>
> That was a very compassionate act.
>
> I can't remember your ever attempting to allow someone to heal in such a way as to actually offer a potentially insightful and helpful suggestion.
>
>
> - Scott~ ~ ~ ~ Dr. Bob - that also struck me - that you are aware of verne's struggle & your post seemed like you were seeing Verne as a real human being with problems, feelings, etc......rather than you only being the 'rules' guy. It's not the first time I've seen you post like that & when you do, I really appreciate it.
Thx, Kath
PS - by saying 'struggle' I hope I am not being insulting or hurtful. I didn't know how else to put it.
Posted by Kath on April 26, 2009, at 16:25:08
In reply to Re: bye for now babble...., posted by rskontos on April 24, 2009, at 21:46:27
Jeez - it certainly won't be the same without you!!!
:-(
((((((((you)))))))))
luv, Kath
Posted by Sigismund on April 26, 2009, at 18:18:00
In reply to Re: bye for now babble...., posted by rskontos on April 24, 2009, at 21:46:27
I'm sorry to hear that. You have always been a kind presence here. I think Fayeroe blocked herself for a month after receiving a PBC or something like that. It does sound optimistic, but I think what is currently happening is way better than what happened before, specifically zazenduck's block
Posted by Sigismund on April 27, 2009, at 3:16:09
In reply to Re: bye for now babble.... » rskontos, posted by Sigismund on April 26, 2009, at 18:18:00
I'm clearly behind the eightball.
It seems that Fayeroe's formula had the same result as Bob's though.
What was hers?
Multiply something by the stars in the sky and deduct 7% for rain?
Posted by Dr. Bob on April 29, 2009, at 9:13:57
In reply to Re: PWD Yet Again ) Dr. Bob, posted by Kath on April 26, 2009, at 16:21:29
> > There does seem to be this persistent idea that I have all the power and posters have none.
>
> Could you please tell me what power we have with the exception of leaving?
>
> rskYou do have the power of flight. And the power to fight.
You also have the power to show others how they might interpret things more charitably, to encourage them to apologize, and to suggest they not address those they can't get along with. You have the power to help them avoid being blocked. And of course you have the power to apologize yourself.
--
> So we have this thing in the U.S. military called an "amnesty box". When you are departing from a war zone and have illegal paraphenelia, before you have to go through search points at the Port, you can place it in the box and the illegal act is ignored. Stuff like bomb shells, stuff from Sadaam's palaces, Iraqi weapons, other stuff people take as souveniers, drugs--anything.
>
> People will look the other way--in terms of the law--if a person had the sensibility to discard what they knew they shouldn't have brought back. It encourages trust and good will. It allows reflection. It fosters integrity-doing the right thing.
>
> So how about having a PB amnesty box--forgive and unblock everyone - and start over.
>
> garnet71Exactly! And here we have an "apology box". When you post something uncivil, you can dissociate yourself from it (place it in the box) by apologizing. It may not necessarily be forgiven, depending on who you've been uncivil to, but as you say, it fosters trust, good will, reflection, and integrity.
But it depends on having the sensibility to "discard" what's uncivil. Soldiers aren't forgiven if they keep paraphernalia that's against the rules.
--
> > Dr. Bob:
> >
> > That was a very compassionate act.
> >
> > I can't remember your ever attempting to allow someone to heal in such a way as to actually offer a potentially insightful and helpful suggestion.
> >
> > SLS
>
> Dr. Bob - that also struck me - that you are aware of verne's struggle & your post seemed like you were seeing Verne as a real human being with problems, feelings, etc......rather than you only being the 'rules' guy. It's not the first time I've seen you post like that & when you do, I really appreciate it.
>
> KathThanks, I appreciate your support!
Bob
Posted by Sigismund on April 29, 2009, at 15:28:30
In reply to Re: what power we have, posted by Dr. Bob on April 29, 2009, at 9:13:57
>You do have the power of flight.
Which they did.
But your idea is a good one.
Did it come in just after zazenducke's block or does it only apply to some?
Posted by Kath on April 29, 2009, at 21:04:09
In reply to Re: what power we have, posted by Dr. Bob on April 29, 2009, at 9:13:57
>... to encourage them to apologize, and to suggest they not address those they can't get along with. You have the power to help them avoid being blocked.
~ ~ ~ I wonder about this. I can't imagine how to encourage someone to apologize, etc, except in a Babblemail...because if we have a problem with a post, we're supposed to do the "notify administration" aren't we? But I guess a kind, polite, caring Babblemail would do the trick.
Kath
Posted by Tabitha on April 30, 2009, at 2:07:44
In reply to Re: what power we have, posted by Dr. Bob on April 29, 2009, at 9:13:57
You have the power to pick your battles.
Battling Dr. Bob on PB Admin? Generally results in frustration and effects on policy ranging from
- none
- the exact opposite of what you intended to accomplish
- some other seemingly random policy change that isn't what you wanted.Choose wisely!
Posted by Dr. Bob on April 30, 2009, at 9:35:26
In reply to Re: what power we have » Dr. Bob, posted by Sigismund on April 29, 2009, at 15:28:30
> But your idea is a good one.
>
> Did it come in just after zazenducke's block or does it only apply to some?Thanks! Posters have always had the power to apologize.
Bob
Posted by jai narayan on May 6, 2009, at 20:32:14
In reply to Re: PWD Yet Again » Dr. Bob, posted by SLS on April 24, 2009, at 17:19:06
Verne I love you. I know I've said that before but now I really mean it.
and yes Dr. B's voice has changed.
Posted by verne on May 7, 2009, at 2:18:06
In reply to Re: PWD Yet Again, posted by jai narayan on May 6, 2009, at 20:32:14
Jai,
I appreciate your feelings but we've never met and all that you know about me is here at Dr Bob's website.
We exchanged a few emails in the past but that went nowhere. As with many others, I put far more into it than you did. I responded in length to one of your emails and got no response. Where was the "love" then?
So I guess (to quote the song), tell me what "love" is then? Forget what I wrote on the social thread when I encouraged you. We've never even met and any feelings are based on only words.
I'm coming to my senses and leaving this site for good.
enough,
Verne
Posted by verne on May 8, 2009, at 1:05:48
In reply to Online Love, posted by verne on May 7, 2009, at 2:18:06
Jai, I'm sorry I was so abrupt with you. I was out of line but still think most online relationships aren't REAL. I'm really sorry I was so mean about it.
Verne
Posted by Sigismund on May 8, 2009, at 2:04:08
In reply to Re: Online Love » verne, posted by verne on May 8, 2009, at 1:05:48
>but still think most online relationships aren't REAL
At least this way we don't have to really meet each other.
Posted by verne on May 12, 2009, at 18:58:31
In reply to Re: Online Love » verne, posted by Sigismund on May 8, 2009, at 2:04:08
Hey Sig,
The babblelites meet annually and sometimes on their own. Some babble relationships have evolved into something in the real life - or what, we in the know, like to call the matrix.
Actually, I don't know anything and I'm adrift. I'm surprised I wasn't blocked for being so downright mean and sarcastic to Jai (sorry again) and wish to appeal my non-block. Review my posts and at least find the sarcasm and block me for a year.
Some of you do meet and find happiness. I don't get it, this love with words that people "speak" online. I think Harold Pinter was getting at this with plays like "Homecoming" and "The Caretaker"
Just after I renounced "online romance" I saw the movie, "Message in a Bottle" and, although repelled, it told me this sort of thing was real for some people.
So I sincerely apologize to the group and Jai, in particular, for being so insensitive. I also think I brought it on with my flirtatious social post. So, in a way, I ambushed the first person to respond.
I'm trying to make a case, that I should have been blocked.
What drives me? I react badly to complements, yet worry about what people think about me. I live a tortured life. I rarely venture past the front porch. I'm in tears about the flickers losing their nest to the starlings. I can barely deal with life one day to the next.
My plan is to freeze myself to death this next winter. Don't call 911! It's Spring. I'm just tying up lose ends and waiting (9 months) until the temp drops low enough and get 2 qts vodka, which I haven't drank in 25 years, and deepfreeze myself. Everyone will think it was an accident. I can't and don't have insurance so that won't be a motive.
That's where I'm at. But, don't start calling the authorities since I'm happily alive, want to live, and my "accident" is at least 8-9 months off.
Sorry, this isn't administrative. I'm not in any immediate danger. Just tying up loose ends, hanging in there until the first really good freeze. Lots may change. That's just where I'm at now. Not even terminal or in bad health. I guess depression can do that to a person.
Got sidetracked. Just meant to apologize for the way I reacted to Jai's post about love. I used to cut myself if someone even said something nice about me or I got good grades. (Hello, fellow borderliners)
I should be blocked (please reconsider for the group's sake, Dr Bob. I won't be hurt).
Alcohol and borderline personality disorder is a scary combination. Again, I'm hopeful, making it longer between slips, getting support, may turn it around.
Most people at online poker games hate me in the end, perhaps, you will learn to.
love verne
after numerous attempts I couldn't get the book or DVD links to work. I would change one and the rest would reset.
Posted by Sigismund on May 12, 2009, at 19:11:52
In reply to Re: Online Love, posted by verne on May 12, 2009, at 18:58:31
Verne
Have you ever come across "Talking Heads" by Alan Bennett?
You might like it.
They are monologues that impart information in spite of the language used.
You can get the monologues read out by various people on CD which is how I came across them first.
Posted by Sigismund on May 12, 2009, at 19:17:14
In reply to Re: Online Love, posted by verne on May 12, 2009, at 18:58:31
'A Bed Among the Lentils' was the one I liked most.
Very very funny.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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