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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 61 to 85 of 85. Go back in thread:
Posted by 838 on March 6, 2006, at 17:16:15
In reply to Re: Ethics, posted by Dr. Bob on March 6, 2006, at 14:17:05
> > He is god here.
> > And he asks us to trust him...
> It's a lot to ask, I know. For some people, it may be too much to ask.It can be a bit challenging... Especially when you consider we have no board of appeal or anything... Your verdict is final...
> But I've also been thinking lately that some posters may feel it's unfair. I hold them to rules, but "can do whatever the f*ck I like" myself.
Er yeah. There is something to that methinks.
> > IMO he is crazy anyways
> Um, please be sensitive to the feelings of others.Sorry. Didn't mean to offend anybody. I meant that kind of affectionately. Kind of... I'm crazy I know that lol. But yeah okay sorry bout that.
> But please also don't take this personally, this doesn't mean I don't like you or think you're a bad person.Though when you pass civility judgement then you decide that something was accusatory or hurtful or whatever. Thinking back to my block... I feel very offended that you interpreted my words in that way... To the best of my knowledge nobody else did. Or if they did... Surely a more mature way to handle things would have been for someone to say they felt hurt and give me the change to put things right... Two weeks. I think another block really would destroy me... And I don't say that to try and blackmail you into not blocking me. Really. It is just that I can't bear it. I can't. And I know other peoples have said similar before... And I'm coming around to their way of thinking I am. Too long. Blocks are too long. Especially for peoples who typically post (a lot) every single day. And hurt... That you interpreted my post that way too. Whatever happened to charity?
Posted by muffled on March 6, 2006, at 19:09:34
In reply to Re: Ethics » Dr. Bob, posted by 838 on March 6, 2006, at 17:16:15
Though when you pass civility judgement then you decide that something was accusatory or hurtful or whatever. Thinking back to my block... I feel very offended that you interpreted my words in that way... To the best of my knowledge nobody else did. Or if they did... Surely a more mature way to handle things would have been for someone to say they felt hurt and give me the change to put things right... Two weeks. I think another block really would destroy me... And I don't say that to try and blackmail you into not blocking me. Really. It is just that I can't bear it. I can't. And I know other peoples have said similar before... And I'm coming around to their way of thinking I am. Too long. Blocks are too long. Especially for peoples who typically post (a lot) every single day. And hurt... That you interpreted my post that way too. Whatever happened to charity?
***Thats it exactly, Dr.Bob, it REALLY hurts people. I dunno if you get just HOW MUCH. The 'punishment so way outweighs the crime. HUGELY.
Posted by JenStar on March 6, 2006, at 23:48:34
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob!!! » Dr. Bob, posted by Larry Hoover on March 6, 2006, at 14:52:55
I almost fell out of my chair, too!!! At first I thought someone had hijacked the post and put words in Dr. Bob's mouth, like a fake post. I reread it and decided it was 'real.' Yikes. I curse from the mouth (fingers?) of Dr. Bob! The world is turned on its end!
JenStar
Posted by AuntieMel on March 7, 2006, at 11:09:33
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob!!! » Dr. Bob, posted by Larry Hoover on March 6, 2006, at 14:52:55
Ok, I don't have anything to say. I just wanted it repeated.....
> > But I've also been thinking lately that some posters may feel it's unfair. I hold them to rules, but "can do whatever the f*ck I like" myself.
>
> > Thanks,
> >
> > Bob
>
> Whoa! I just about jolted out of my chair.
>
> But you're right.
>
> Lar
>
>
Posted by AuntieMel on March 7, 2006, at 11:10:57
In reply to Re: Ethics » Dr. Bob, posted by 838 on March 6, 2006, at 17:16:15
Could you send me your email so if you *do* ever get blocked again I can talk to you??
You can find (one of) mine in the FAQ
Posted by Dr. Bob on March 7, 2006, at 23:55:57
In reply to Re: Ethics » Dr. Bob, posted by 838 on March 6, 2006, at 17:16:15
> > But please also don't take this personally, this doesn't mean I don't like you or think you're a bad person.
>
> Though when you pass civility judgement then you decide that something was accusatory or hurtful or whatever. Thinking back to my block... I feel very offended that you interpreted my words in that way... To the best of my knowledge nobody else did. Or if they did... Surely a more mature way to handle things would have been for someone to say they felt hurt and give me the change to put things right...It's not always easy to handle hurt in a mature way. Some people just leave. I'd prefer for them not to feel hurt in the first place.
It's necessary to have some rules. Having rules means making judgments. Making judgments means deciding that some posts are against the rules. Deciding that posts are against the rules hurts those posters. Ergo, unfortunately, it's necessary to hurt some posters.
Bob
Posted by 838 on March 8, 2006, at 4:07:54
In reply to Re: civility, posted by Dr. Bob on March 7, 2006, at 23:55:57
> It's not always easy to handle hurt in a mature way. Some people just leave. I'd prefer for them not to feel hurt in the first place.
:-( You think people would leave over what I said?
> It's necessary to have some rules.I've never questioned that...
>Having rules means making judgments. Making judgments means deciding that some posts are against the rules. Deciding that posts are against the rules hurts those posters. Ergo, unfortunately, it's necessary to hurt some posters.
Yeah but... Typically I don't have a problem with the warnings / blockings. This time I did. I don't know whether I would be having such a problem if that blocking happened to another poster or not. I don't know. I feel too personally involved so I can't say...
I am still having trouble with my post being interpreted in that way :-(
But I never meant to say that PBC's / blockings were a bad thing in general...
Though... For regular posters who are typically supportive - and who try and be civil... I don't think the block lengths should stack up the way they do at present.
Because it is kind of like... The longer you are here... The longer the blocks get. I used to think that it was a matter of people either learning from their errors or deserving longer blocks. But I'm having trouble here. Maybe I'm just stupid... I dunno... I never meant to hurt. And... Did I hurt? I don't think so...
Posted by 838 on March 8, 2006, at 4:21:47
In reply to Re: civility » Dr. Bob, posted by 838 on March 8, 2006, at 4:07:54
all i know is... i'm too damned terrified to venture back to the politics board.
:-(
:-(
:-(i mean... it is too easy to come up with 'nicer phrasings' in hindsight. it is much harder to see what is likely to be considered problematic at the time. and even more than that... i don't just want to avoid the liklihood of a block... i want to avoid a block.
and so i guess that means... either passing my posts through... who? you? i'm not sure that the other moderators are confident on the politics board rulings. or... just shutting up.
so...
i dunno.
interesting way of getting people to stop talking about politics i guess. don't ban the topic... just ban people who talk seriously about the topic...
and it's not really a matter of my getting angry over on politics either... i mean... i don't really feel angry... i feel... ignorant much of the time.
i feel like that with cricket too.
i mean... why is it that people 'typically' get out after however many balls... i don't understand. i have trouble with some things...
Posted by AuntieMel on March 8, 2006, at 9:39:55
In reply to Re: civility raquo; Dr. Bob, posted by 838 on March 8, 2006, at 4:21:47
I find that if I'm having a hard time wording something in a civil way, or if I'm in doubt, wording things as questions helps soften them.
Posted by Dinah on March 8, 2006, at 11:37:32
In reply to Re: civility raquo; Dr. Bob, posted by 838 on March 8, 2006, at 4:21:47
If you want, I'll volunteer as your civility buddy.
Then if Dr. Bob has a problem with what you wrote, and I've looked over, he'll fuss at me.
I warn you though, I try to err on the side of caution. You might prefer to get someone who is a bit more bold.
By the way, the problem you described is the reason for the new concept of cooling off blocks, which I think might now be official?
But you'd have to be block free for a while.
Posted by muffled on March 8, 2006, at 14:21:57
In reply to Re: civility, posted by Dr. Bob on March 7, 2006, at 23:55:57
> It's not always easy to handle hurt in a mature way. Some people just leave. I'd prefer for them not to feel hurt in the first place.
***but its GUARANTEED to hurt if your blocked.
And lets be real here, duhhhh, ya, people hurt each other, its a fact of life, they may not mean to do it, but with blocks there's no chance of apology, to talk it out, etc. Sorta like getting hit upside the head with a 2x4 and getting no chance to reply.
I admire that you want babble to be safe, but it needs to be real too........
IRL its illegal to bash someone for a slight miscomment......Hell, it just ain't civil....
>
> It's necessary to have some rules. Having rules means making judgments. Making judgments means deciding that some posts are against the rules. Deciding that posts are against the rules hurts those posters. Ergo, unfortunately, it's necessary to hurt some posters.***so it all basically comes down to a judgement call from The Man. I guess I have a problem with the fact that there is no avenue of appeal if perhaps you had a human moment and maybe made a mistake?
See the post MIGHT have hurt someone, maybe, but the block DID hurt someone, FOR SURE.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Sure wouldn't want your job......
Muffled
Posted by Deneb on March 8, 2006, at 15:56:52
In reply to Re: civility » Dr. Bob, posted by muffled on March 8, 2006, at 14:21:57
I'm so conflicted right now. I love Dr. Bob, but I was hurt by him blocking me four times.
The only way I can reconcile this is to assume that Dr. Bob didn't have a choice in blocking me.
I don't handle blocks well at all. I'm not used to punishment. I yell and scream at Dr. Bob when I'm blocked. I beg and scream and beg and scream some more. I stop and then I start again.
It makes me sad to remember being blocked. I think I have PTSD from being blocked.
I don't know how to handle hurt in a mature way. I'm stuck here now. I still don't know whether this place is good or bad for me.
Maybe there should be better warnings about how Babble can make you worse.
Deneb*
Posted by Deneb on March 8, 2006, at 19:01:39
In reply to Re: civility, posted by Deneb on March 8, 2006, at 15:56:52
Sorry about the whining. I'm pretty sure I don't have PTSD from being blocked. I think the whining is a continuation of my tantrum.
Deneb*
Posted by Dr. Bob on March 8, 2006, at 23:02:19
In reply to Re: civility » Dr. Bob, posted by 838 on March 8, 2006, at 4:07:54
> > It's not always easy to handle hurt in a mature way. Some people just leave. I'd prefer for them not to feel hurt in the first place.
>
> :-( You think people would leave over what I said?I don't know. Maybe they'd just stay away from Politics for a while? Still, neither of us want that, either, do we?
Bob
Posted by 838 on March 9, 2006, at 2:37:23
In reply to Re: civility, posted by Dr. Bob on March 8, 2006, at 23:02:19
> > :-( You think people would leave over what I said?
> I don't know. Maybe they'd just stay away from Politics for a while?I guess they might...
Whereas I know for a fact that I WILL.In fact... I had to stay away from ALL boards for a while...
Posted by gardenergirl on March 9, 2006, at 10:21:26
In reply to Re: civility, posted by Dr. Bob on March 7, 2006, at 23:55:57
> I'd prefer for them not to feel hurt in the first place.
>Ouch! That sounds to me like feeling hurt is somehow "bad" or "wrong".
gg
Posted by Dinah on March 9, 2006, at 10:38:17
In reply to Re: civility » Dr. Bob, posted by gardenergirl on March 9, 2006, at 10:21:26
I'm guessing that he wishes that no one ever met hurt here. Rather than that he just wishes they didn't feel it. Or chose not to feel it.
Posted by muffled on March 9, 2006, at 10:52:58
In reply to Re: civility, posted by Dr. Bob on March 8, 2006, at 23:02:19
Posted by gardenergirl on March 9, 2006, at 10:53:09
In reply to Re: civility » gardenergirl, posted by Dinah on March 9, 2006, at 10:38:17
I agree that how I interpreted it is not necessarily what he meant. And I'm sure my own baggage is leaking out in my reaction.
gg
Posted by muffled on March 9, 2006, at 11:00:49
In reply to Re: civility » Dinah, posted by gardenergirl on March 9, 2006, at 10:53:09
> And I'm sure my own baggage is leaking out in my reaction.
>
> gg***eeewwwww! :-o Lol. I needed that. I just got the most gross mental image w/that statement!!!!
Ha!
Muffled
Posted by 838 on March 9, 2006, at 17:35:51
In reply to Re: civility » Dr. Bob, posted by gardenergirl on March 9, 2006, at 10:21:26
> > I'd prefer for them not to feel hurt in the first place.
> Ouch! That sounds to me like feeling hurt is somehow "bad" or "wrong".
Yeah,it doesn't imply that...
It is just that pain is something that tends to be avoided, and pleasure is something that tends to be sought out - by definition (? maybe). There is a literature on that (if you are interested)...If there was an experience of phenomenological pain (just like how pain feels) but these alien creatures were wired up in such a way that they purposely sought it out...
Then would the phenomenological experience be pleasurable for them?
Or would there just be a different behaviour associated with the pain?aka is pain essentially aversive.
(ack. i've been working too hard)
;-)
Posted by 838 on March 9, 2006, at 17:36:30
In reply to Re: civility raquo; Dr. Bob » 838, posted by Dinah on March 8, 2006, at 11:37:32
> If you want, I'll volunteer as your civility buddy.
Thanks. I might take you up on that at some point :-)
Posted by Damos on March 12, 2006, at 16:37:36
In reply to Re: civility raquo; Dr. Bob » Dinah, posted by 838 on March 9, 2006, at 17:36:30
I'd offer except that:
a) I'm notoriously unreliable
b) I've have a reputation for extreme bluntness
c) My vocabulary & brainpower just aint up to the task.What the heck is 'raquo' anyway? (shrugs)
Damos :-)
Posted by agent858 on March 12, 2006, at 18:22:41
In reply to Re: civility raquo; Dr. Bob » Dinah » 838, posted by Damos on March 12, 2006, at 16:37:36
> What the heck is 'raquo' anyway? (shrugs)
I have no idea how that got in there...
I don't know whats wrong with 838's email address dr-b...
I don't want to change it...
So how come I need to update it?
Sorry bout all the changes...
Posted by Dr. Bob on March 14, 2006, at 2:06:30
In reply to Re: civility raquo; Dr. Bob, posted by agent858 on March 12, 2006, at 18:22:41
> I don't know whats wrong with 838's email address dr-b...
> I don't want to change it...
> So how come I need to update it?The issue wasn't changing it, it would've been better to say "confirm" than "update", sorry...
Bob
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