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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by 5 on March 4, 2006, at 18:55:20
In reply to Re: IF YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT SOMEONE, posted by ClearSkies on March 4, 2006, at 6:36:06
Not only did you disclose information about a poster without their permission you repeat the information after being made aware that you have done that and that it was not appreciated.
To the best of my knowledge it is up to the poster to disclose / withold personal information. A poster might post their email address on the boards. I still would have though that it was not another posters place to repeat that information or post a link to it.
> I'm not even going to apologize for this silly thing.
I see. Thanks for your sensitivity.
Please don't post to me. In fact, seeing as you have made it clear that you object to posters posting a new sentance on a new line, how about just not reading the posts of posters who choose to do that. You have made it clear that you have a problem with certain posters posting styles and that you consider they need a radical personality overhaul in order for them to be acceptable to the forum.
What I don't understand is why you continue to read when it clearly upsets you so.
I'd request you not read - but I don't think that is a legitimate request. So at this point I'll just have to make do with
DO NOT POST TO ME
And while this doesn't seem to be a legitimate request I'd also like to ask you (please please please out of the goodness of your heart) to stop posting ABOUT me either.
Maybe you speak some funny little idiolect where IMPLICATION is part of semantic meaning. To the best of my knowledge there isn't a post where I say who I used to post as. You might want to think about that.
Just leave us alone.
Posted by 838 on March 5, 2006, at 3:13:53
In reply to Please don't post to me » ClearSkies, posted by 5 on March 4, 2006, at 18:55:20
Okay... So we were a lot mad. That doesn't make up for what was said. Sorry about that :-(
I apologise for the sarcasm in 'thanks for your sensitivity'. I felt hurt by your comment that it was a 'silly thing'. It did not feel like a 'silly thing' to me. Even if it was a 'silly thing' you didn't mean to call my (real) hurt a 'silly thing' - did you? I think... Being charitable... That you did not. It didn't seem that way to me at the time... But I should be charitable.
We never meant to come back here and hurt people. But... There are some things that we would like to say to you. Because where we are standing... We feel like you have had a problem with us for a while now... And we would like to either sort it out... Or decide to part amicable ways if possible.
>In fact, seeing as you have made it clear that you object to posters posting a new sentance on a new line, how about just not reading the posts of posters who choose to do that.
That was about your post a while back to the social board. People were talking about a certain posters posting style... Just asking about it and we felt that you jumped in with a judgement. A judgement that is a little like 'we don't like the way you dress' or 'we don't like the colour of your hair'. We felt very hurt by your criticism. We took it personally... Then we thought we should probably be charitable... So we tried... And we apologised to you for taking it personally. And we really need to stop doing that. Because... It was personal. Wasn't it?
> and that you consider they need a radical personality overhaul in order for them to be acceptable to the forum.
That is coming from your comment about 'pervasive posting style' and that the reason for the block was that something more generally was wrong with the posters 'pervasive posting style' and that the poster would keep getting blocked until that changed. Once again... Trying hard to be charitable but you know these little comments just seem to keep on adding up...
We will lift the request.But please think about comments you make and how much they can hurt
:-(
It is not a 'silly little thing'
It is not.
And about the posting the link thing...
Very hurt that you did that AFTER the person saying how they didn't like that. Very hurt. And about saying what you said that was hurtful again. Very hurt about that too.
We think it does come down to the point that it is not another persons place. Because of google. But also the point that it is not another persons place. If the poster decides to do that then that is one thing. But I think the point about the email address is a good one... SOmeone might post theirs somewhere for a specific purpose... My thoughts on that would be that posters shouldn't repost that. Because there is a difference as to whether info occurs once or twice in relatively inconspicuous places and whether info occurs in multiple places on the boards.
Sorry if you are hurting over this.
I've never had a problem with you.
I just find some of your comments to be hurtful.
I'm sorry for mine.
That was badly done.
Posted by 838 on March 5, 2006, at 3:28:46
In reply to Re: Please don't post to me » 5, posted by 838 on March 5, 2006, at 3:13:53
And all this comes from...
The point that you have trouble with argumentation and criticism. In the sense that you take them personally. And... That is understandable with respect to your history. I'm sure it is. And so... You find our posts hard to take because of that. Because we insist on keeping on doing it. And I guess you might be thinking that you are often hurt because of the pervasive posting style and thus the poster should change. Because of the hurt. And the hurt makes it hard.
It makes it hard.
Because the way we see it... That is a very big ask. To cease with rational argumentation. Because... That is so very important to us. To crtique ideas etc. And it is somehting that we do in our own life and somehting that we find very worthwhile. And other people... SOme people appreciate it. They really really do. That is a fact. But other people... Hurt because of it. And that seems to be a fact too.
And so... Weighing up benefit and hurt... It is a hard one. For me... It is a huge part of my identity. What I identify with myself as being. Something about me. Something that makes me unique. And I guess from where you are standing you just see the hurt and think that it is not worth it. And I need to change to tow the line or be banned indefinately. But me... From where I am standing I see the hurt (though sometimes not as well as I should that is true) but I see the hurt and I think about what it would mean to me if I were to radically change. I think about what it would mean for me if I were to radically change. And I wouldn't be me anymore. And we are having trouble with that already (in case you hadn't noticed) But we were having trouble with that already.
And so... It is a hard one.
And if I"ve learned something... It is that I need to be extra special careful with some people around that. Crazy t. I hurt her. I didn't mean to but I hurt her. And you. And you know... I never meant to hurt you either... But it was mostly to do with this thread a while back over on substance - wasn't it? Where you started the thread and it evolved into a discussion of AA / NA and problems with that... And you saw me as hijaking the thread and continuing with critique when you didn't want me to critique AA / NA.
I didn't mean to hurt you...
But the more you wanted me to stop with that...
The more relentless I became...
Because I saw you as trying to silence me because you didn't like what I was saying.
And... I have been silenced before.
I have.
And not again.No.
And so it is hard...
And I need to be sensitive.
But I need to ask you to be sensitive too - okay?Maybe it would be better if you stopped with reading our posts. Because we don't want to hurt you. ANd we want to learn to get better at finding a middle ground... But maybe we are just too different. Maybe we clash too much. Maybe... We would be better off just not reading each others posts. Because I don't want to keep hurting you - okay? And also... I don't want to keep feeling hurt by you.
Posted by 838 on March 6, 2006, at 0:15:32
In reply to Re: Please don't post to me, posted by 838 on March 5, 2006, at 3:28:46
i'm sorry i hurt you
((((((clearskies))))))
we admire your strength and your courage
we love your 10's
you have a determination that we admire very much
i'm sorry i hurt you
Posted by ClearSkies on March 6, 2006, at 8:22:34
In reply to ((((((clearskies)))))))), posted by 838 on March 6, 2006, at 0:15:32
Posted by Dr. Bob on March 6, 2006, at 15:18:52
In reply to Re: Please don't post to me, posted by 838 on March 5, 2006, at 3:28:46
> I think about what it would mean for me if I were to radically change. And I wouldn't be me anymore. And we are having trouble with that already (in case you hadn't noticed)
This can come up in therapy or even with medication. The uncertainty can be scary, but you would still be you.
Bob
Posted by 838 on March 6, 2006, at 17:28:42
In reply to Thank you (nm) » 838, posted by ClearSkies on March 6, 2006, at 8:22:34
I really do have a lot of admiration for you. You have a lot of strength... And there is a sensitivity there too yes.
I really am sorry if you are hurting over this. I guess you are... I'm sorry. Gentle hugs. You are valued here you know :-)
Posted by 838 on March 6, 2006, at 17:29:31
In reply to Re: radical change, posted by Dr. Bob on March 6, 2006, at 15:18:52
This is the end of the thread.
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