Posted by 838 on March 5, 2006, at 3:28:46
In reply to Re: Please don't post to me » 5, posted by 838 on March 5, 2006, at 3:13:53
And all this comes from...
The point that you have trouble with argumentation and criticism. In the sense that you take them personally. And... That is understandable with respect to your history. I'm sure it is. And so... You find our posts hard to take because of that. Because we insist on keeping on doing it. And I guess you might be thinking that you are often hurt because of the pervasive posting style and thus the poster should change. Because of the hurt. And the hurt makes it hard.
It makes it hard.
Because the way we see it... That is a very big ask. To cease with rational argumentation. Because... That is so very important to us. To crtique ideas etc. And it is somehting that we do in our own life and somehting that we find very worthwhile. And other people... SOme people appreciate it. They really really do. That is a fact. But other people... Hurt because of it. And that seems to be a fact too.
And so... Weighing up benefit and hurt... It is a hard one. For me... It is a huge part of my identity. What I identify with myself as being. Something about me. Something that makes me unique. And I guess from where you are standing you just see the hurt and think that it is not worth it. And I need to change to tow the line or be banned indefinately. But me... From where I am standing I see the hurt (though sometimes not as well as I should that is true) but I see the hurt and I think about what it would mean to me if I were to radically change. I think about what it would mean for me if I were to radically change. And I wouldn't be me anymore. And we are having trouble with that already (in case you hadn't noticed) But we were having trouble with that already.
And so... It is a hard one.
And if I"ve learned something... It is that I need to be extra special careful with some people around that. Crazy t. I hurt her. I didn't mean to but I hurt her. And you. And you know... I never meant to hurt you either... But it was mostly to do with this thread a while back over on substance - wasn't it? Where you started the thread and it evolved into a discussion of AA / NA and problems with that... And you saw me as hijaking the thread and continuing with critique when you didn't want me to critique AA / NA.
I didn't mean to hurt you...
But the more you wanted me to stop with that...
The more relentless I became...
Because I saw you as trying to silence me because you didn't like what I was saying.
And... I have been silenced before.
I have.
And not again.No.
And so it is hard...
And I need to be sensitive.
But I need to ask you to be sensitive too - okay?Maybe it would be better if you stopped with reading our posts. Because we don't want to hurt you. ANd we want to learn to get better at finding a middle ground... But maybe we are just too different. Maybe we clash too much. Maybe... We would be better off just not reading each others posts. Because I don't want to keep hurting you - okay? And also... I don't want to keep feeling hurt by you.
poster:838
thread:615969
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20060225/msgs/616093.html