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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 759 to 783 of 1133. Go back in thread:
Posted by NikkiT2 on January 8, 2006, at 16:16:18
In reply to Re: Too bad attending no longer appeals to me. » zeugma, posted by alexandra_k on January 8, 2006, at 15:45:06
If you had been around before the civility rules, when the things that caused the rules were happening..
Then you WOULD believe we needed them.
Nikki
Posted by zenhussy on January 8, 2006, at 16:21:59
In reply to Re: Too bad attending no longer appeals to me. » zeugma, posted by alexandra_k on January 8, 2006, at 15:45:06
> i guess my understanding is...
> i guess my understanding is...> i think he is doing his best...
> that he has done his best to devise a fair system...
> that isn't to say that there are no instances of unfairness.
> he isn't perfect.
> but i believe he is doing his best.you've made it very clear that you think Dr. Bob is doing his best. this has been repeated in many threads. the boards know how you feel and think about Dr. Bob's efforts.
> i really do believe...
> that he does want our input
> that he is interested in what we have to say.sure Dr. Bob requests input from the posters to his site. years of archives will show discussion over new ideas and features often go on for upwards of two years before any changes are made.
> but what that means... is there needs to be some people who are prepared to accept that yeah he is doing his best... which isn't to say he might not be misguided at times ;-) but yeah he is doing his best... but that there might be a better way... and to make those suggestions. of a better way. if you don't like the present system with determinations on 'grey' cases then what would a better one be?
most ppl are not appreciative of being told what they need to be prepared to accept. most ppl are able to judge for themselves what they will or will not accept. we can easily accept that you believe Dr. Bob to be doing his best and that you believe there could be a better way of doing things.
> i think people will have more luck with jumping on board and trying to change from within than trying to overthrow...
again, the archives show YEARS of ppl working from within on board trying to change how this board is run. often those who were most vocal were pegged as some kind of cabal because their views weren't necessarliy shared by the population of this site as a whole. even civil posts can be placed under an umbrella of suspicion. ppl will believe what they will. no amount of efforts will change those who have set their minds.over time this site has shown that truth isn't always relevant to a situation and how it is handled. civility, as this site defines it, is relevant.
Posted by crazy teresa on January 8, 2006, at 16:49:06
In reply to Re: Hysterically (not the good kind) LMAO, bobster, posted by alexandra_k on January 8, 2006, at 15:29:24
Cough, cough, cough. Sorry, I was choking on bull sh*t. I won’t get those cough drops again, that’s for sure.
What part of DO NOT POST is not understood here?
Sigh. I thought I had come so far. Somebody please send me the links explaining DNP, so I can use this handy tool effectively. Is there a glitch in this function? Or am I just not using/understanding it correctly?
I did my receiving in the spirit it with which it was sent… as I CLEARLY explained above. Blame was laid completely to me, for conclusions jumped to.
Silly me for thinking a true apology consists of accepting full responsibility for a perceived wrong, whether one personally feels he was wrong or not; not a mere manipulation in the arrangement of words. How in the world did I come up with such a notion??? Anyway, I'm sorry and I won’t make that mistake again.
“Complain away if it helps“???
I really don’t appreciate being made to feel as if I am being uncivil for explaining how I feel! I am left feeling hurt and accused for following the rules. And I feel as if my boundries have been seriously violated, like I have to be told how to feel. But they’re my feeling aren’t they? And they really hurt and I feel like no one cares that they hurt. All after a DNP, besides. I was trying to avoid conflict by that DNP. I've never even used one before.
make sure dr-bob sees it and make sure he blocks me if it helps... Am I being accused (of tattletailing?) because bobster’s rules should include all of us? I hope you’re not feeling accused or put down bobster. We know you’re capable of reading our post on your own.
((((((((((bobster))))))))))
And doesn’t it suck when one is called out for breaking our rules? I believe I have seen post, after post, after post, after post asking bobster, “Is this civil?”, and I never fully understood why. But civility rules need to apply all of us, not just when we want them to. And I am so thankful that they do.
I’ve learned this the hard way. It’s never easy to learn to look outside of ourselves and do what’s right for the good of all of us, but I will sincerely continue to try. And I will continue to encourage other posters to do this as well.
Posted by zenhussy on January 8, 2006, at 17:04:49
In reply to Re: Too bad attending no longer appeals to me. » alexandra_k, posted by zenhussy on January 8, 2006, at 16:21:59
>>>>>i think people will have more luck with jumping on board and trying to change from within than trying to overthrow...
cause if we overthrow him then what are we going to do????<<<<<
the word cabal was used in reference to the above statements from another poster suggesting that ppl might be trying to overthrow the administration.
in no way was cabal used to apply description to any members of this board. the archives are full of posts with members describing posters that express any non-pro-PB sentiment as part of some larger network of disgruntled posters. we weren't aware that PB was split into pro and anti and no middle ground for the rest. ;)
Posted by alexandra_k on January 8, 2006, at 18:33:28
In reply to Re: Too bad attending no longer appeals to me. » alexandra_k, posted by zeugma on January 8, 2006, at 16:12:37
> it seems to me that there is an inherent problem that is peculiar to the nature of this board. and that is, not that people say nasty things (because i am not going to defend nastiness) but that people try to help.
larry was trying to help. yes. but i don't think the consequence (the block) was delivered because he was trying to help. i think the block was delivered because of the things he said. we might think 'tough love' helps. but i don't think that being well intentioned mediates what is said.
when therapists tell me that i'm manipulative or attention seeking or that i'm making them sick that does not help me. they might well be trying to help me. they might well think that they are helping me. but those comments are not helpful. they are hurtful. all the good intentions in the world... don't moderate that.
> and there are times when say person x knows that substance y is toxic in a certain dosage and advises against those quantities,
and that is fine.
> consuming substance y is *insert uncivil word here*. now is that nastiness? no.
not nastiness. but it assumes intent behind people doing that.
i used to take overdoses... i just wanted the pain to stop. i just wanted the pain to stop. if you see it that way then i think you find you will feel less frustrated with me than...
if you see it as a manipulative gesture. seeing it as a manipulative gesture isn't helpful to me. because... i don't think it is nice to manipulate others. and if i think i am being manipulative then i feel very bad :-( and that leads to... more pain.did i do it to manipulate or play games?
or did i do it because i wanted to stop the pain?
is there a fact of the matter?the way you see it...
can make a difference for how you feel about the person
frustration
sympathy
it can make a difference for what you say to the person
blame
sympathydo you think that it would benefit the forum if people were allowed to call each other manipulative and say that other people are making one sick?
even if it is true...
isn't the burden on us to not get involved in things that make us sick? like clearskies was saying on relationships...
we need to take responsibility for our own recovery
our own mental health
and sometimes that does mean pulling back and walking away for a time
yes.
i don't want to fight with you either :-(
Posted by wildcard on January 8, 2006, at 18:40:15
In reply to Re: Hysterically (not the good kind) LMAO, bobster, posted by crazy teresa on January 8, 2006, at 16:49:06
Posted by alexandra_k on January 8, 2006, at 18:42:03
In reply to Re: Too bad attending no longer appeals to me. » alexandra_k, posted by zenhussy on January 8, 2006, at 16:21:59
> you've made it very clear that you think Dr. Bob is doing his best.
or that i try to think charitably and that helps me, yes.
> > i really do believe...
> > that he does want our input
> > that he is interested in what we have to say.
> sure Dr. Bob requests input from the posters to his site. years of archives will show discussion over new ideas and features often go on for upwards of two years before any changes are made.right. sometimes... change can be slow. i'm sure that you appreciate that there is a difference between being interested in what people have to say and thinking that their idea would in fact be the best thing to do to profit the forums.
i mean... it can take a long while and there are many things to consider.
yeah change is slow.
> most ppl are not appreciative of being told what they need to be prepared to accept.
sorry didn't mean to be directive. just meant that you might find that your life goes a little easier and you feel a little happier if you try and give people the benefit of the doubt. sometimes the way we view the world and other peoples intentions... has an effect on the way the other people view us.
i mean... if i respect what you have to say then you are more likely to extend that courtesy back to me.
> again, the archives show YEARS of ppl working from within on board trying to change how this board is run.right.
and what changes did they suggest?
and would those changes benefit the forum as a whole?
those things need to be discussed...
and that is going to take time.> over time this site has shown that truth isn't always relevant to a situation and how it is handled. civility, as this site defines it, is relevant.
yeah.
because it is counter-productive to a supportive environment to have people judging or attacking or accusing other people.
and thus... people aren't supposed to do that.
regardless of the 'truth' of what they have to say.it might be true that i am ugly and fat
does that mean that it should be acceptable to the forum for you to say 'you are ugly and fat'
?
Posted by Phillipa on January 8, 2006, at 19:50:24
In reply to Re: Too bad attending no longer appeals to me. » zenhussy, posted by alexandra_k on January 8, 2006, at 18:42:03
I believe Larry's block was unwarranted. And that's all I'm saying. Fondly, Phillipa ps how come a lot of posters in the past were allowed to question every post that was posted? And usually was successful in stopping the Thread. Leading me at times to be very hurt. So I then tried to not go to the Faith board. Now I do. Wonder why?
Posted by Dr. Bob on January 9, 2006, at 0:00:52
In reply to Re: i can be a cow sometimes..., posted by alexandra_k on January 7, 2006, at 2:07:34
> sometimes...
>
> i get into a funny headspace and i don't appreciate that people are sensitiveThanks for apologizing, but she asked you not to post to her, so I'm going to block you from posting for a week again.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#harassed
Also, I'd like this thread to stick to Toronto.
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by Deneb on January 9, 2006, at 0:24:27
In reply to Re: blocked for week » alexandra_k, posted by Dr. Bob on January 9, 2006, at 0:00:52
I want to book my days at the hostel I'm going to be staying at now.
Someone told me that hotels are filling up quickly and prices are rising.
Right now I'm thinking I will book
Saturday May 20
Sunday May 21
Monday May 22Do we think that we will do something after the APA meeting or before?
I will spend as many days there as others are spending.
Do people want to do something on Friday? What about Tues? I'm guessing Tues is probably not good for most people. I'm guessing most who come will make it a long weekend of Sat, Sun and Mon?
Deneb
P.S. Thanks so much Muffled for reminding me of the Babble Party. You are a life-saver.
Posted by Voce on January 9, 2006, at 1:55:15
In reply to Re: blocked for week » alexandra_k, posted by Dr. Bob on January 9, 2006, at 0:00:52
Wait I'm confused.
Alex didn't post to her in the subject line.
So even if you don't post to the person in the subject line but say words meant for them, that they may or may not read, that's against the rule?
Just wondering....Voce
Posted by Deneb on January 9, 2006, at 17:16:33
In reply to Babble Party 2006, posted by Deneb on January 9, 2006, at 0:24:27
> I want to book my days at the hostel I'm going to be staying at now.
>
> Someone told me that hotels are filling up quickly and prices are rising.
>
> Right now I'm thinking I will book
> Saturday May 20
> Sunday May 21
> Monday May 22
>
> Do we think that we will do something after the APA meeting or before?
>
> I will spend as many days there as others are spending.
>
> Do people want to do something on Friday? What about Tues? I'm guessing Tues is probably not good for most people. I'm guessing most who come will make it a long weekend of Sat, Sun and Mon?
>
> Deneb
>
> P.S. Thanks so much Muffled for reminding me of the Babble Party. You are a life-saver.
>Are we still interested in going to the Babble gathering?
I want to start planning it. It's fun to plan for this event.
Posted by gardenergirl on January 9, 2006, at 17:31:44
In reply to Re: Babble Party 2006, posted by Deneb on January 9, 2006, at 17:16:33
I know I enjoyed the last one immensely. I can't go this year, unfortunately.
Good luck with the planning, and I hope everyone has a marvelous time.
gg
Posted by ClearSkies on January 11, 2006, at 8:25:06
In reply to Re: Babble Party 2006, posted by Deneb on January 9, 2006, at 17:16:33
I am not going.
ClearSkies
Posted by Deneb on January 11, 2006, at 16:17:08
In reply to Re: Babble Party 2006, posted by ClearSkies on January 11, 2006, at 8:25:06
> I am not going.
> ClearSkiesI will miss you ClearSkies. :-(
Take care of yourself
Deneb
Posted by Deneb on January 16, 2006, at 0:45:37
In reply to Re: Babble Party 2006, posted by Deneb on January 9, 2006, at 17:16:33
Just wanted to mention that I booked my days.
Posted by Dr. Bob on January 16, 2006, at 14:58:25
In reply to Re: Babble Party 2006, posted by Deneb on January 16, 2006, at 0:45:37
Posted by Deneb on January 16, 2006, at 16:58:05
In reply to Re: maybe it'll end up being just you and me (nm) » Deneb, posted by Dr. Bob on January 16, 2006, at 14:58:25
I'll have you all to myself then Dr. Bob! LOL Just kidding! :-)
I'm pretty sure Larry's coming...with buttertarts! :-)
It'll be fun people!
Deneb
Posted by NikkiT2 on January 17, 2006, at 5:31:01
In reply to Re: maybe it'll end up being just you and me (nm) » Deneb, posted by Dr. Bob on January 16, 2006, at 14:58:25
hey, theres still a few months for me to win the lottery and make it!! *laughing* And EuroLottery is up to £80m this Friday..
Cross your fingers for me people!
Nikki x
Posted by Deneb on January 21, 2006, at 21:39:14
In reply to Re: maybe it'll end up being just you and me, posted by Deneb on January 16, 2006, at 16:58:05
Larry and I are going to eat some raw oysters in Toronto because I've never had them before and I want to try them.
Does anyone else want to eat them with us? Will you eat them with us Dr. Bob?
What else should we do? Is it really going to be just me, Lar and Dr. Bob??
Let's do some fun things in Toronto. Wanna go to the CN tower? I went once. I felt bad then and wished I could jump off, but it's impossible because of the way they designed the fence there.
Wanna go to the Royal Ontario Museum?
What other fun things can we do? Will you have fun with us Dr. Bob?
Deneb
Posted by Dr. Bob on January 21, 2006, at 22:08:59
In reply to Oysters and stuff, posted by Deneb on January 21, 2006, at 21:39:14
> Wanna go to the CN tower? I went once. I felt bad then and wished I could jump off, but it's impossible because of the way they designed the fence there.
Please don't treat death lightly. Sorry, but I'm going to block you from posting for 4 weeks again.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by Dr. Bob on January 22, 2006, at 0:43:05
In reply to Re: blocked for 4 weeks » Deneb, posted by Dr. Bob on January 21, 2006, at 22:08:59
> Please don't treat death lightly. Sorry, but I'm going to block you from posting for 4 weeks again.
Sorry again, I also meant to add:
Please don't take this personally, this doesn't mean I don't like you or think you're a bad person. And I don't want anything bad to happen to you. In a crisis, please also get help in person. You may also wish to check out a listing compiled by a poster of helpful web pages on coping with crisis at:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/psycho-babble-tips/links/Coping_with_crisis_001012507973
Bob
Posted by crazy teresa on January 22, 2006, at 1:34:57
In reply to Re: addendum » Deneb, posted by Dr. Bob on January 22, 2006, at 0:43:05
Posted by wildcard11 on January 22, 2006, at 7:20:39
In reply to Re: addendum » Deneb, posted by Dr. Bob on January 22, 2006, at 0:43:05
Posted by Dinah on January 22, 2006, at 8:30:47
In reply to Re: addendum » Deneb, posted by Dr. Bob on January 22, 2006, at 0:43:05
Go forward in thread:
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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