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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 23 of 23. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by JohnX2 on April 20, 2002, at 3:23:08
I need to vent (Sorry Bob):Does anyone besides me feel like they are "walking on egg shells" when posting to this web site?
John
Posted by Fi on April 20, 2002, at 9:08:49
In reply to general comment, posted by JohnX2 on April 20, 2002, at 3:23:08
Not usually.But sometimes get caught out!
Fi
Posted by IsoM on April 20, 2002, at 12:23:28
In reply to general comment, posted by JohnX2 on April 20, 2002, at 3:23:08
I definitely have felt like that, John, which is why I'm not commenting about anything that's not ABSOLUTELY safe anymore.
Posted by shar on April 20, 2002, at 12:47:51
In reply to Re: general comment » JohnX2, posted by IsoM on April 20, 2002, at 12:23:28
Oh, yes. Eggshells, tiptoes, whispering...all of it. Not waking the dragon.
The up side is it makes for a good learning environment for saying what one thinks and then accepting the fact that others feel differently.
And, to learn that when others attack it is about THEM and not the poster. It is about their issues, life experiences, family of origin experiences, their fears, worries, anxieties. It isn't about the poster at all, really.
I find I get po'd about attitudes or concepts or whatever, and it's very clear that it stimulated something in ME and thus my reaction. It is rarely a poster I'm upset with, it's that someone dared to believe something I do not....j/k
If we could learn to "own" our feelings here (sort of the "I feel this when you say that") kind of thing, it would be of great personal benefit to us, and make it safer for others. Also, if we could learn to accept differences--in thoughts, opinions, etc.--as just that, a difference, we would be much sturdier people IMO.
We often run from differences, or see them as threatening...I think because we feel that we are "wrong" if someone disagrees, or that we "must" change how we feel if others disagree. But, that is not the case. It is the truer nature of the world that everyone who wants to can keep their "spot" (not have to change) in the face of disagreement, or even ridicule, or harassment. However, we've usually been taught dozens of reasons and expectations that this shouldn't happen, so people "defend" their beliefs from attack by others.
So, for PSB it means we don't get the full measure of what people think and believe and feel. Too bad for us, IMO.
Shar
Posted by JohnX2 on April 20, 2002, at 15:59:04
In reply to Re: general comment » JohnX2, posted by IsoM on April 20, 2002, at 12:23:28
> I definitely have felt like that, John, which is why I'm not commenting about anything that's not ABSOLUTELY safe anymore.
Thanks for the feedback. I understand.
That's a tough position for me (a pscychiatric patient) to be in....making a judgement as to whether or not what I say is "safe" not knowing the mindset of the others and also maybe being off "in my old world," at the same time (so to speak).
John
Posted by JohnX2 on April 20, 2002, at 16:02:33
In reply to Re: general comment, posted by shar on April 20, 2002, at 12:47:51
> If we could learn to "own" our feelings here (sort of the "I feel this when you say that") kind of thing, it would be of great personal benefit to us, and make it safer for others. Also, if we could learn to accept differences--in thoughts, opinions, etc.--as just that, a difference, we would be much sturdier people IMO.
>
> We often run from differences, or see them as threatening...I think because we feel that we are "wrong" if someone disagrees, or that we "must" change how we feel if others disagree. But, that is not the case. It is the truer nature of the world that everyone who wants to can keep their "spot" (not have to change) in the face of disagreement, or even ridicule, or harassment. However, we've usually been taught dozens of reasons and expectations that this shouldn't happen, so people "defend" their beliefs from attack by others.
>These are really good points to think about.
> So, for PSB it means we don't get the full measure of what people think and believe and feel. Too bad for us, IMO.
>
> SharArghh.
Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts.
John
Posted by JohnX2 on April 20, 2002, at 16:09:56
In reply to Re: general comment » JohnX2, posted by Fi on April 20, 2002, at 9:08:49
> Not usually.But sometimes get caught out!
>
> FiI don't feel that way unless my emotions flare up (positive or negative). Sometimes I think you need to follow a computer generated flowchart to post your thoughts on the news board. I'm not good at following rules when my mindset is *way* off base. Hmm how often is that, and how am I to judge the state of my own mindset at times...arghh!. ;-)
I'm probably being melodromatic. Sorry.Thanks for sharing your experience.
John
Posted by shar on April 21, 2002, at 2:34:20
In reply to Re: general comment » shar, posted by JohnX2 on April 20, 2002, at 16:02:33
Posted by Dr. Bob on April 21, 2002, at 11:15:17
In reply to general comment, posted by JohnX2 on April 20, 2002, at 3:23:08
> Does anyone besides me feel like they are "walking on egg shells" when posting to this web site?
>
> JohnI know it can be an effort, but I do appreciate it. IMO, the fewer broken eggs, the better!
Bob
Posted by IsoM on April 21, 2002, at 12:59:07
In reply to Re: walking on egg shells, posted by Dr. Bob on April 21, 2002, at 11:15:17
Silly analogy really, but...
If you try walking on ostrich egg shells you won't breaking any unless you WANT to, probably by jumping on them with hob-nailed shoes.
But if you walk on robin egg shells, even the lightest step will shatter them.
See the difference? That's what it's like on the forum at times - AND one's not always sure just what mix of egg shells there are. Like walking on them in the dark when one doesn't know the posters well or can't 'read' their facial expressions.
Posted by beardedlady on April 21, 2002, at 13:20:06
In reply to Re: walking on egg shells » Dr. Bob, posted by IsoM on April 21, 2002, at 12:59:07
Iso's right: the correct phrase is walking on eggs. If they're shells, the eggs are already broken, so there's no need to be careful anymore.
beardy : )>
Posted by Janelle on April 22, 2002, at 3:21:38
In reply to Re: walking on egg shells, posted by Dr. Bob on April 21, 2002, at 11:15:17
EEEEK ... l'il ol' UNassertive me went and spoke her mind in the thread regarding the new exclusive boards and now I bet everyone must hate me, think I'm a bi***, and if I dare post something on PB I fear that no one will even answer me (and I really need to post on PB cuz I think I'm having major probs with a med).
Ack ... I've done myself in ... I've blown it for myself on PB. But darn it, didn't I have a right to speak up? It was all just my feelings, thoughts and opinions. Ack ... regret, but no regret, regret, yet no regret ... confusion reigneth. Egg shells? I don't even feel a floor under me anymore.
Posted by CtrlAlt n Del on April 22, 2002, at 3:46:38
In reply to I'm now AFRAID to post on PB !, posted by Janelle on April 22, 2002, at 3:21:38
Hello Janelle...Hey girl ..it's never as bad as it seems...easy for me to say in this high mood eh : )
What wrong with your meds?
You're on depaoke {sp?} right?
Sometimes they work well sometimes they don't sometimes the word placebo comes to mind : )I don't see a problem with your posting we all go posting crazy at some point...like myself today/tonight or whatever it is -theraputic .
I'll check in on you tommorrow/today well later...
to see how your feeling.... I sound like a dizzy doctor: )
dreamer
Posted by Krazy Kat on April 22, 2002, at 9:08:52
In reply to I'm now AFRAID to post on PB !, posted by Janelle on April 22, 2002, at 3:21:38
Posted by IsoM on April 22, 2002, at 15:45:56
In reply to I'm now AFRAID to post on PB !, posted by Janelle on April 22, 2002, at 3:21:38
Posted by Janelle on April 22, 2002, at 23:37:33
In reply to Re: I'm now AFRAID to post on PB ! » Janelle, posted by CtrlAlt n Del on April 22, 2002, at 3:46:38
Thanks to those who responded to my fearful post here ... I appreciate it ... glad you realize I'm not a bi*** (far from it, if you only knew!)
Hey, CtrlAlt n Del (GRRRREAT name!) I'm very impressed that you remember I'm trying Depakote ... my brain is so shot that I can't recall any meds that any posters are on and this really bothers me because I usually have a fine mind for details ...
BTW, Depakote SUCKS ... at least for me ... (and this is what I need to post about on PB) I think it's making me feel even MORE DEPRESSED ... I have gone downhill since being on it, am doing terribly during the days, very, very badly ... will see pdoc soon and hopefully try yet another in that class of med ... I hate this process!
Posted by trouble on April 23, 2002, at 5:56:28
In reply to Thanks, y'all are so kind ..., posted by Janelle on April 22, 2002, at 23:37:33
hey Janelle,
You've put alot of energy into this thread and I support 100% your taking a break to replenish.
One thing I've learned during my agony-blocks by bugging dr.b w/emails and talking it to death w/other members is this is supposed to be fun. We're visionaries!!
Please don't worry about being too intense, the people who stick w/ an issue to the bitter end are generally having a blast, or they wouldn't do it, ideas take so much out of you. Thinking is punishing. If it's any good.
So I say terrific work, braveheart.BTW my new guide is that the argument must be exciting and thrilling and passionate, never small-minded, but only for the purpose of discovery, and when it starts to drain and frustrate me it's time to look a new word up in the dictionary and start all over.
Or watch Jon Stewart and laugh about the whole silly enterprise, but that's just me.
As if.love,
trouble
Posted by Janelle on April 24, 2002, at 2:32:56
In reply to woman of ideas i salute you, posted by trouble on April 23, 2002, at 5:56:28
Posted by wendy b. on April 24, 2002, at 16:13:07
In reply to Re: I'm now AFRAID to post on PB ! » Janelle, posted by CtrlAlt n Del on April 22, 2002, at 3:46:38
Dreamer,
Your reaching out to Janelle is the nicest gesture of support I've seen on PBA in a hell of a long time...
glad you're high & not low,--------------
--- | ---\______/
(me, smiling)much respect,
W.
>
> Hello Janelle...
>
> Hey girl ..it's never as bad as it seems...easy for me to say in this high mood eh : )
>
> What wrong with your meds?
> You're on depaoke {sp?} right?
> Sometimes they work well sometimes they don't sometimes the word placebo comes to mind : )
>
> I don't see a problem with your posting we all go posting crazy at some point...like myself today/tonight or whatever it is -theraputic .
> I'll check in on you tommorrow/today well later...
> to see how your feeling.... I sound like a dizzy doctor: )
>
>
> dreamer
Posted by CtrlAlt n Del on April 24, 2002, at 16:42:13
In reply to Re: I'm now AFRAID to post on PB ! » CtrlAlt n Del, posted by wendy b. on April 24, 2002, at 16:13:07
Posted by JohnX2 on April 25, 2002, at 4:07:01
In reply to I'm now AFRAID to post on PB !, posted by Janelle on April 22, 2002, at 3:21:38
> EEEEK ... l'il ol' UNassertive me went and spoke her mind in the thread regarding the new exclusive boards and now I bet everyone must hate me, think I'm a bi***, and if I dare post something on PB I fear that no one will even answer me (and I really need to post on PB cuz I think I'm having major probs with a med).
>
> Ack ... I've done myself in ... I've blown it for myself on PB. But darn it, didn't I have a right to speak up? It was all just my feelings, thoughts and opinions. Ack ... regret, but no regret, regret, yet no regret ... confusion reigneth. Egg shells? I don't even feel a floor under me anymore.Hi Janelle,
Please don't be so hard on yourself. But if you feel uncomfotable
posting at pbabble....that is a shame.I have joined a group support for depressives/manic-depressives
(no doc's involved, just people), and I found that meeting with
people face-to-face to be much more rewarding than on psychobabble.Hearing the horror stories about how these problems
literally tear people's lifes to shreds from people's
mouths is a totally different experience than reading it
here. I also hear the turn-arounds. ;) Its nice that we are
not patrolled in that group, and it is much easier to read
someone's body language to know how "sensitive" to be.Take Care,
JohnX2
Posted by Janelle on April 27, 2002, at 1:51:09
In reply to Re: I'm now AFRAID to post on PB ! » Janelle, posted by JohnX2 on April 25, 2002, at 4:07:01
Hi John,
Thanks for the kind words. I have long considered (but not gotten myself to do anything about yet) joining a *live* support group for people with mental disorders (not sure which specific one(s) I'd go to) because I have long had the hunch that meeting with people face-to-face would be much more rewarding and dare I say more valuable in some ways than via the distance of a computer message board. So, it's interesting and good to hear you validate this.
Thank you very much for sharing your experience with such a group.
take care,
Janelle
Posted by JohnX2 on April 29, 2002, at 23:47:52
In reply to Arghh? (nm) » JohnX2, posted by shar on April 21, 2002, at 2:34:20
Sorry Shar,Bad lingo... I was agreeing with your statement.
"Arghh" for me means.."I agree, it's a shame".Thanks,
JohnX2
This is the end of the thread.
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