Posted by shar on April 20, 2002, at 12:47:51
In reply to Re: general comment » JohnX2, posted by IsoM on April 20, 2002, at 12:23:28
Oh, yes. Eggshells, tiptoes, whispering...all of it. Not waking the dragon.
The up side is it makes for a good learning environment for saying what one thinks and then accepting the fact that others feel differently.
And, to learn that when others attack it is about THEM and not the poster. It is about their issues, life experiences, family of origin experiences, their fears, worries, anxieties. It isn't about the poster at all, really.
I find I get po'd about attitudes or concepts or whatever, and it's very clear that it stimulated something in ME and thus my reaction. It is rarely a poster I'm upset with, it's that someone dared to believe something I do not....j/k
If we could learn to "own" our feelings here (sort of the "I feel this when you say that") kind of thing, it would be of great personal benefit to us, and make it safer for others. Also, if we could learn to accept differences--in thoughts, opinions, etc.--as just that, a difference, we would be much sturdier people IMO.
We often run from differences, or see them as threatening...I think because we feel that we are "wrong" if someone disagrees, or that we "must" change how we feel if others disagree. But, that is not the case. It is the truer nature of the world that everyone who wants to can keep their "spot" (not have to change) in the face of disagreement, or even ridicule, or harassment. However, we've usually been taught dozens of reasons and expectations that this shouldn't happen, so people "defend" their beliefs from attack by others.
So, for PSB it means we don't get the full measure of what people think and believe and feel. Too bad for us, IMO.
Shar
poster:shar
thread:4228
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20020420/msgs/4239.html