Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 995882

Shown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Why do people here view me as an addict

Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on September 4, 2011, at 21:45:51

You know there are people that take narcotics here. I'm not a person who downs pills right when I see or shoot dope into my arms. I just have taken them not suggested like they be a couple of times. It's not a big deal and im really getting mad because people here view me low because of my history of addiction. You know what I need to just forget all of this addiction and not tell doctors anymore. I'll tell them I'm a recovering addict but not the history of stimulant abuse. It's old news. I shared it here many years ago and people here seem to think that once your an addict you'll always be an addict. There are people here that have gotten past the part of addiction and improved there lives and choose not to do what they used to do. I can do that too.

Please can someone give me support and show me how things are suppost to be. I am 24 year old still living at home and im looking for something better to life than this. I don't keep dope in the house nor do I do it, I don't abuse my medication either.

Now all I need is someone to help me with some instructions to move out but the thing is I have to get a job and I feel helpless when no one else is helping. I need someone to help me. I don't care if its codependency I need help to get through the day sometimes. I really wished people would not view me as a dependent person but this is who I am. I need help.

 

Re: Why do people here view me as an addict

Posted by emmanuel98 on September 4, 2011, at 23:21:10

In reply to Why do people here view me as an addict, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on September 4, 2011, at 21:45:51

Maybe people view you as an addict because you've said you are an addict. Also, you post a list of your desired drugs, which are all addictive and dangerous. Also, you seem unable to manage your own life and ask for help from a forum that is not geared toward the kind of help you're looking for. The first step in 12-step groups says we were powerless over our addictions and our lives had become unmanageale. you don't seem to feel powerless, but your life is unmanageble.

 

Re: Why do people here view me as an addict

Posted by Phillipa on September 4, 2011, at 23:38:50

In reply to Re: Why do people here view me as an addict, posted by emmanuel98 on September 4, 2011, at 23:21:10

Matt you have said you are an addict, have an addictions doctor and attended NA meetings so that's the facts you have presented. And I do think a therapist could help you with your dependency to family. Somehow I don't really feel you wish to leave home or you would have moved and shared an appartment with a friend. You have a lot at another site. Phillipa

 

Re: Why do people here view me as an addict » rjlockhart04-08

Posted by 10derheart on September 5, 2011, at 0:01:41

In reply to Why do people here view me as an addict, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on September 4, 2011, at 21:45:51

Why, Matt? Because you have said so - over and over again. Which, BTW, I've always thought was a good, mature and courageous thing...to not deny it.

=============================================

8/12 - Now, I have an addiction potential with many medications and I have a big tendency to abuse medications and that needs to be well known here. I'm a recovering addict in Narcotics Ananymous. I go to meetings everyday.

8/14 - I am a drug addict and I understand how I operate. Resisting things that change the way I feel is the only way to stay abstinent.

8/23 - Oh by the way maybe not taking addiction potential substances isnt that bad. I'm free. For now at least.

8/19 - ...they gave me adderall XR for the conditions. I began abusing it when I was 17 and it lasted till 22

9/1 - I am recovering addict. I never snorted pills. I snorted cocaine and that's it.

9/1 - I have been in drug seeking behaviors before on this website.

9/3 - I can't take any amphetamines because of my addiction for now
====================================

Matt, you know I care about you and know your long story. I remember all the way back at least to when you were 18. But now, to be angry and ask Babblers why they "view" you in a negative way....I don't quite get that. Addiction - true addiction - really is for life. I am addicted to nicotine and/or other chemicals in cigarettes. I have not allowed those substances into my body since April 1, 1994 - almost 17.5 years. I believe I must NEVER smoke one cigarette or I will buy a pack. (Not home free, as I slowly replaced that severe 15-year addiction with an addiction to food, caffeine and some other time-wasting, though legal, obsessions.) Anyway...most alcoholics I know or know of are taught by addiction doctors the same thing and it's proven true when they slip and fall off the wagon and learn the hard way whether they can have "just one..." It's a harsh and difficult thing to accept, but I'd have to say I do think addiction is for life. Addictive behaviors don't have to be, though. That's key.

I doubt telling lies is the answer. I also don't think you actually know how people here view you. I don't view ANY addict, whether it be to booze, pills, pot, coke or whattheheckever - as "low." Addiction is a horrible, difficult, devastating, thing. I am thankful for the intervention that happened for you when it did. Doesn't mean your mom is right in all her treatment of you, or that your doctor is or isn't good/bad. Your life is not a black and white situation, and as you've said, it can be complicated. Just means I care and I know abusing stimulants could have gotten much, much worse. Babblers have more compassion and sense than to pass judgment and to view you as "low." I know you know that.

You are frustrated. I get that. But your energy may be misdirected to these boards as far as concrete. immediate IRL help. Posters can't go with you to ask a friend to let you stay the night, to call your brother, to call a social worker, to go on more interviews, or start volunteering, etc. We just can't be there in that way. I hope you find someone IRL who can.

The suggestions made before about the baby steps are still great ones. That is an amazing post, actually. Which step will you try first? Let us know.


 

Re: Why do people here view me as an addict

Posted by Christ_empowered on September 5, 2011, at 1:43:27

In reply to Why do people here view me as an addict, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on September 4, 2011, at 21:45:51

I personally don't care to label people as "addicts" or whatever. I think maybe you obsess over pills and your addict/non-addict status because you don't seem to have a lot going on in your life right now. I mean, I don't either--its hard for me to get a job b/c when I was truly crazy, I didn't work and now the economy sucks, so I'm screwed--but I still sense that in your posts.

I kind of think you might want to focus less on drugs and your relationship to them (taking them, not taking them, etc.) and more on establishing a life for yourself away from your parents. There comes a point where if you don't bloom, you decay.

 

Re: Why do people here view me as an addict

Posted by sigismund on September 5, 2011, at 4:07:59

In reply to Re: Why do people here view me as an addict, posted by emmanuel98 on September 4, 2011, at 23:21:10

I become agitated with all this talk of addiction. I may be wrong but I felt you enjoyed the repentance of accepting you were an addict.

The problem as I see it is that you keep seeing things through the prism of the drug (for or against), rather than your health.

I'd just forget about people/religion/society and try to make your life work....and most basically, this means looking after your health and doing what is necessary to become able to live your own life.


 

Re: cigarettes » 10derheart

Posted by zonked on September 5, 2011, at 10:04:15

In reply to Re: Why do people here view me as an addict » rjlockhart04-08, posted by 10derheart on September 5, 2011, at 0:01:41

>I am addicted to nicotine and/or other chemicals in cigarettes. I have not allowed those substances into my body since April 1, 1994 - almost 17.5 years. I believe I must NEVER smoke one cigarette or I will buy a pack. (Not home free, as I slowly replaced that severe 15-year addiction with an addiction to food, caffeine and some other time-wasting, though legal, obsessions.)

Do you mind if I ask how long it was before you stopped thinking about cigarettes and what method you used to quit? I am at my Mom's and left my patches at home, and am SO tempted to buy a pack. What a mess. :/

-z

 

Re: cigarettes » zonked

Posted by 10derheart on September 5, 2011, at 13:24:06

In reply to Re: cigarettes » 10derheart, posted by zonked on September 5, 2011, at 10:04:15

Well, hard to remember so far back but I'll try ;-)

I used nicotine patches and also went to a group smoking cessation class for a couple months. I chewed on straws and cinnamon sticks when I was driving, talking on the phone and other places to help with the intense oral craving. I totally avoided alcohol and any bar situations. It took about 2-4 weeks for the worst physical symptoms to ease off. It probably took 1-2 years before I stopped having occasional, intense psychological cravings, but honestly, maybe 1-2 times a year, when triggered by some random thing on TV, etc., I still want to smoke. So after 17 years, this is why I know this is addiction and I must be as vigilant as an alcoholic, etc. I still recall the whole ritual of lighting up and inhaling, and it *seems* comforting, even though it was killing me and wrecking my health and finances. In my case, I am sure a huge part of the attraction was legally medicating undiagnosed ADD.

I wish you well. Some experts said it's harder to kick than cocaine. I had tried 5-6 prior times and gone back to it. I see every "failure" as a success - ANY smoker who abstains even for one day, in my view, successfully quit an incredibly powerful drug for one day. That is amazing to me. So, I hope you can hold out, but even if you slip, just start again once you get the patches back. Best thing I ever did. I remember feeling so much better within a few months, and being stunned at how my lungs must have been compromised and I didn't realize it. I could do numerous flights of stairs without even being winded.

Could your doc talk to a pharmacy near you and get you enough patches for the time at your mom's? Just a thought.

 

Re: cigarettes » 10derheart

Posted by zonked on September 5, 2011, at 15:21:44

In reply to Re: cigarettes » zonked, posted by 10derheart on September 5, 2011, at 13:24:06


> Could your doc talk to a pharmacy near you and get you enough patches for the time at your mom's? Just a thought.

California Medicaid ("Medi-Cal") will pay for up to two complete "courses" per year. In other words, I got all the step 1 patches at once, then I go back to see the doc for the remainder of the course on steps 2 and 3.

I'm back at home most of the time now... You know, it seems a little bit ironic that I started feeling double digit points better after starting testosterone, and within days my patches FINALLY got authed (long story, CVS was screwing up and I had them transferred to Walgreens) and I lost that gain - I hope temporarily. Withdrawal is masking it, I think.

But that's life, and life isn't fair. This morning I was hit with OUT OF THIS WORLD cravings, I came so close to walking down to a populated area and offering someone a DOLLAR for a cigarette. I was able to calm down and know that it would provide me with minutes of relief in exchange for NASTY guilt the rest of the day and a possible full relapse.

These things are brutal. A friend pointed out that, since I am doing it primarily for financial reasons, that if I end up making decent money again I may return to them. He has a good point. I will be aware of that ahead of time.

It's no fun when you realize you're on government income, trying to get a job and spending more on cigarettes than food.

I hope no matter what my financial situation is a year from now I can stay away from them.

50% of former smokers in the US have quit now. That's an encouraging statistic.

I am glad you mentioned caffeine and food; it's a little embarrassing but I have been drinking _way_ more coffee and occasionally going on sugar binges. My brain wants the dopamine, I guess.

-z

 

Re: cigarettes

Posted by emmanuel98 on September 5, 2011, at 20:12:59

In reply to Re: cigarettes » zonked, posted by 10derheart on September 5, 2011, at 13:24:06

If you're in the US, patches and gum and lozenges are sold OTC and are as easy to go out and buy as a pack of cigarettes. Quitting cigarettes was a bitch. I stopped and started, stopped and started. I have been off them for 14 years now and still use the gum. I would never start again, because if I did, I'd have to stop again.

 

Re: cigarettes

Posted by Phillipa on September 5, 2011, at 20:42:13

In reply to Re: cigarettes, posted by emmanuel98 on September 5, 2011, at 20:12:59

I wonder why smoking without drinking I just couldn't do I just didn't like them and they sure made me feel terrible. Is this a sign of a deficiency of some neurotramitter or too much of one? Phillipa


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