Posted by 10derheart on September 5, 2011, at 0:01:41
In reply to Why do people here view me as an addict, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on September 4, 2011, at 21:45:51
Why, Matt? Because you have said so - over and over again. Which, BTW, I've always thought was a good, mature and courageous thing...to not deny it.
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8/12 - Now, I have an addiction potential with many medications and I have a big tendency to abuse medications and that needs to be well known here. I'm a recovering addict in Narcotics Ananymous. I go to meetings everyday.8/14 - I am a drug addict and I understand how I operate. Resisting things that change the way I feel is the only way to stay abstinent.
8/23 - Oh by the way maybe not taking addiction potential substances isnt that bad. I'm free. For now at least.
8/19 - ...they gave me adderall XR for the conditions. I began abusing it when I was 17 and it lasted till 22
9/1 - I am recovering addict. I never snorted pills. I snorted cocaine and that's it.
9/1 - I have been in drug seeking behaviors before on this website.
9/3 - I can't take any amphetamines because of my addiction for now
====================================Matt, you know I care about you and know your long story. I remember all the way back at least to when you were 18. But now, to be angry and ask Babblers why they "view" you in a negative way....I don't quite get that. Addiction - true addiction - really is for life. I am addicted to nicotine and/or other chemicals in cigarettes. I have not allowed those substances into my body since April 1, 1994 - almost 17.5 years. I believe I must NEVER smoke one cigarette or I will buy a pack. (Not home free, as I slowly replaced that severe 15-year addiction with an addiction to food, caffeine and some other time-wasting, though legal, obsessions.) Anyway...most alcoholics I know or know of are taught by addiction doctors the same thing and it's proven true when they slip and fall off the wagon and learn the hard way whether they can have "just one..." It's a harsh and difficult thing to accept, but I'd have to say I do think addiction is for life. Addictive behaviors don't have to be, though. That's key.
I doubt telling lies is the answer. I also don't think you actually know how people here view you. I don't view ANY addict, whether it be to booze, pills, pot, coke or whattheheckever - as "low." Addiction is a horrible, difficult, devastating, thing. I am thankful for the intervention that happened for you when it did. Doesn't mean your mom is right in all her treatment of you, or that your doctor is or isn't good/bad. Your life is not a black and white situation, and as you've said, it can be complicated. Just means I care and I know abusing stimulants could have gotten much, much worse. Babblers have more compassion and sense than to pass judgment and to view you as "low." I know you know that.
You are frustrated. I get that. But your energy may be misdirected to these boards as far as concrete. immediate IRL help. Posters can't go with you to ask a friend to let you stay the night, to call your brother, to call a social worker, to go on more interviews, or start volunteering, etc. We just can't be there in that way. I hope you find someone IRL who can.
The suggestions made before about the baby steps are still great ones. That is an amazing post, actually. Which step will you try first? Let us know.
MDD (presently in complete remission); ADD-Inattentive type; mild anxiety (not fomally dx'd)
Meds: Strattera 80 mg q day
poster:10derheart
thread:995882
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20110902/msgs/995895.html