Shown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Fivefires on May 14, 2008, at 15:42:23
I was diligently calling for inpatient medication re-eval and stabilization for days and days, but kept having doors slammed in face 'because I wanted to live', not haha.
So began the Nardil I was leaving in bag to be opened by a professional upon arrival so they could tell me when to turn right or left or get up or sit down or go to bed or whatever.
Can't google, read, speak clearly; everything much too unmanageable. Wobbling and feeling a bit of stomach/body ache. Had a panic attack. Think I feel another one coming.
I SO KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN. Was left alone in this major depressive episode (ALL I'M PRETTY SURE OF IS WHAT THIS IS.) way, way too long, and now did what didn't want to do, try it here alone w/o anyone ever see me. And now, I sure as hell know, I know myself well.
No doc call back. Insurance confused from beginning. Cannot function and certainly cannot do 'NORMAL' activities of daily living. Can't even do an activity.
Only spell and type somewhat well because profession for 15yrs.
My hands just literally slipped off the keyboard.
5f
Posted by SLS on May 15, 2008, at 5:28:01
In reply to NARDIL DAY 1. KNEW WOULD LOSE SELF, posted by Fivefires on May 14, 2008, at 15:42:23
If you haven't started at 1/2 pill, I would consider doing that. Even 1/2 pill every other day. You must do all you can to get past these startup side effects.
Feeling weird when starting Nardil can be a good thing. It means your CNS is naive to the drug and more likely to respond. Of course, it depends on precisely what kind of "weird" you are experiencing. You might be experiencing low blood pressure for all I know. I hope you find Nardil tolerable.
Navigating startup side effects can be difficult. However, if you never get beyond them, you will never get well.
If Nardil works well and then poops-out, you can try adding Deplin.
Think in terms of weeks and not days. Nardil can sometimes take a few months to work.
- Scott
Posted by Phillipa on May 15, 2008, at 11:50:53
In reply to Re: NARDIL DAY 1. KNEW WOULD LOSE SELF, posted by SLS on May 15, 2008, at 5:28:01
FF did you get a blood pressure cuff? Phillipa
Posted by Simon79 on May 15, 2008, at 16:46:05
In reply to Re: NARDIL DAY 1. KNEW WOULD LOSE SELF, posted by Phillipa on May 15, 2008, at 11:50:53
You gotta give nardil at least 3 months for the magic to start working man and at least 2 of those months have to be a 60mg+. i know it's hard right now for you but you have to hang in there and make sure they give you a decent dosage, at least 60mg daily would be my advice. if you are having problems with anxiety also demand a decent dosage of benzodiazepine. nardil and benzos are the real deal compared to ssri's and the other crap they perscribe. it sounds like you need the big guns right now not the water pistols.
ssri's are patented to drug companies which do clinical trials on them, magnify their positive results, show it off to the medical community and market them as hard as they can because they want to make as much MONEY as they can.
Posted by Fivefires on May 16, 2008, at 4:49:05
In reply to Re: NARDIL DAY 1. KNEW WOULD LOSE SELF, posted by Simon79 on May 15, 2008, at 16:46:05
Hey all ... things are strange.
Files are all moved around in my pute. Cell phone isn't ringing and incoming text messages were locked. This occurred just after 'I really got angry w/ some FOO'; one works in pute/phones/communications. Can sum1 hack a cell?
I rec'd like 5-6 text messages, but was sending one at same time, so finished it, and then when went back to read them, they were all locked! Below will explain why another person also saw them, so you all know I wasn't 'imagining this'.
Last night someone stole a beautiful pot and plant I'd had for like 15yrs out front. I reported it to an officer today. When he was here, I told him about PC and cell. I showed him my text message inbox w/ all these locked messages and he said 'wow I've never seen anything like that before'.
Later, I was talkin' w/ someone on the phone and telling them about it, got cell out, opened to text messages, and there they were all 'unlocked'.
I'm scared to go to sleep because I might stop breathing. I have no appetite. Body aches. Thirsty. I'm a zombie.
My pdoc (He called only because county next to me called on my behalf saying I should be seen by my doctor immediately and then move over there way asap.) said 'U don't meet the criteria for inpatient medication stabilization.' Then, he said, 'I don't know what I can do to help you'(?) So is he saying I'm a hopeless case? Is he saying he can't help me and assuming no one else can help me? Is he saying he can't help me and I can't go inpatient because he has a godplex and wouldn't want someone else to?
I would think, if he thinks, he can't help me, he'd want me inpatient!
I AM COMPLETELY UPSET AND ALONE AND ANGRY AND IMMENSELY CONFUSED. DO I JUST NOT MATTER AT ALL?
Am I doing something wrong?
I told a woman on the nurseline I couldn't get up and fix food. And she said, 'So! Lots of people can't'.
I'M NOT CLEAR ABOUT THESE REACTION BY MEDICAL PERSONNEL, TO MY REQUEST FOR HELP, EVERYWHERE I AM TURNING!
DO THEY THINK I'M TOO ILL OR NOT ILL ENOUGH OR WHAT?
The most empathy I've received these past (Is this day 2? Yeah.) ... hours ... is from my insurance company, of all places!
All are saying stuff like 'I'm needy and I shouldn't be'; pdoc office, nurse line, FOO, friend.
And, there are no beds unless I want to die, kill, or am psychotic.
But, now, if my pdoc says, as above, I don't meet criteria for inpatient; I dunno .. can he keep me from getting help? He's county. My insurance is different and allows me inpatient w/ a co-pay, if there's a bed for someone who wishes to live. (They must be really short on these here!)
Can pdoc mess this up for me, I mean if by some miracle it happens? Who should I call to ask? I feel I need to have someone around me.
I'm still scared to sleep. I'm just plain scared to be alone too. I wish someone was here!!!!!!!
Tks all. Had stay off all day cuz of stuff up at top there, and then too, kinda' worried about all my files being moved around in folders here.
Pls use babble feature if insight about hacking.
5f
Posted by Fivefires on May 17, 2008, at 3:19:37
In reply to Re: NARDIL DAY 1. KNEW WOULD LOSE SELF, posted by Phillipa on May 15, 2008, at 11:50:53
Did I say I called NAMI who called county next and they got me appt? Went. They checked BP and to my request be inpatient said no.
I did call pharmacy Scott re decrease and titrate up more slowly, thinking score these red tabs, but was told I shouldn't because it could 'increase side effects'??? So, I suggested to the N.P., not pdoc, I saw today, I not be on 3xaday but 2xaday for this first week.
I've awakened at 1a. Must have collapsed into bed after appt. I can hear a motorcycle off in the distance. I'm much too isolated out here. I checked my doors(have two-one iron) and they were unlocked, so seems nothing is missing, but is odd I'd leave this unlocked in just having ended relationship and he may be angry.
Daughter went w/ me today and observed and was livid to say the least at the way I was treated. I mean, the way i was 'not really treated at all'. She said to the N.P., 'look at her, can't you see she's out of it', and as I'd suspected would happen, she said 'how would I know? I've never seen her before!' Hate it when happens.
When we left, daughter was like 'don't make another appt, your outta here. This place CR*P!' It felt good she cared, and my children are all pretty much NOT lacadaisical or indifferent to an issue important, so I suspect this daughter along w/ husb and other two of mine, will be trying to help me do what I'll write below or keep trying to use other ins. get to Scottsdale.
Any1 heard of Sierra Tucson? It's got all kinds of programs, one being dual, but not CD & behavioral health, the other program being pain management. There is a possibility, if my PCP can say I've not found Pain Management I need here successful, which I haven't, epidurals in c-spine haven't worked, and I need to go out of network, I could go there. Wherever Kath is I need to her head up the 'vigil' 'cuz maybe that would bring me back to life.
So ... the N.P. today only really said 'you can get off of it if you want. You don't meet inp. criteria because you're not suicidal'.
sos diff' mid of night, 5f
Posted by Fivefires on May 17, 2008, at 4:15:55
In reply to Re: NARDIL DAY 1. KNEW WOULD LOSE SELF, posted by Simon79 on May 15, 2008, at 16:46:05
> You gotta give nardil at least 3 months for the magic to start working man and at least 2 of those months have to be a 60mg+. i know it's hard right now for you but you have to hang in there and make sure they give you a decent dosage, at least 60mg daily would be my advice.>
U see I mention my weight is just 110lbs tho
>if you are having problems with anxiety also demand a decent dosage of benzodiazepine.>
Well I've had a panic attack and an almost-panic-attack since began, so asked today for 'a little extra in this beginning', but think they feel I'm on enough as is so shouldn't need any more; so no.
> nardil and benzos are the real deal compared to ssri's and the other crap they perscribe. it sounds like you need the big guns right now not the water pistols.>
Yep, it's just w/ the 'zombie' on 15mg 3x a day scaring me quite a bit as alone and no one to function for me, decided must titrate up more slowly. 4give pls if repeating self.
> ssri's are patented to drug companies which do clinical trials on them, magnify their positive results,>Bad.
>show it off to the medical community and market them as hard as they can because they want to make as much MONEY as they can.>
Disgusting.
tks S79
5f
This is the end of the thread.
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