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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by seldomseen on January 19, 2008, at 15:31:48
I swear I am the worst when it comes to taking my prozac.
It's almost like clockwork, I start taking it, go through the start-up ick, start to feel better, then just stop.
Of course, it takes several weeks for it to leave my system, during which time I convince myself - YAH! I'm drug free! Look at me.
Then slowly, in creeps the darkness, the paranoia and the insomnia. Leaden paraysis. Full blown badness was imminent. I am bad without it.
And the cycle starts all over again. Why can't I just stay on it?
I'm finished with the start up ick right now and on the upswing. I cleaned my house, paid my bills and got some work done.
Seldom.
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on January 19, 2008, at 16:53:38
In reply to Cycling on and off drugs - why do I do this?, posted by seldomseen on January 19, 2008, at 15:31:48
promise yourself that you'll take it uninterrupted for some period of time, like 3 mos, and then reevaluate...
or just tell yourself "I have a chronic health condition. I require medication and medication management"
and be satisfied that you respond well to prozac. you are living in a lucky era, psychiatry-wise
Posted by stargazer2 on January 19, 2008, at 19:13:28
In reply to Cycling on and off drugs - why do I do this?, posted by seldomseen on January 19, 2008, at 15:31:48
SS, How many times have you done this?
It's just like people that start an antibiotic, they feel better by the 3rd or 4th day and don't complete the 10 day course. The infection never is treated and comes back over and over.
Taking Prozac until you feel better, but not continuing to take it indefinately guarantees the the depression will not ever be controlled and you have proven this to yourself.
You sound like you have not had depression for very long. Once you take it continuously and feel better longer and longer that should be enough to convince you that you need it.
I hope you can do this and get on a stable, long running remission of your depression, You will feel better and not have those ups and downs like you have been having...Stargazer
Posted by bleauberry on January 19, 2008, at 19:27:09
In reply to Cycling on and off drugs - why do I do this?, posted by seldomseen on January 19, 2008, at 15:31:48
You should feel immensely blessed that you have identified something that helps you and respect that with all of your might.
No one is more interested in your health than you. Find a way to take the med every day. The previous post had excellent suggestions.
If you have a cell phone set an alarm to go off at the same time every day reminding you it is time for a dose. Set some kind of alarm clock. Even if you already remember it is time, the alarm clock can kind of be like a companion saying, hey, don't skip this.
Write a journal on how bad you feel off of prozac. When it is time for your dose, open the pages and read it.
Imagine what life would be like if you returned to prozac after some time off and found to your dismay that it did not work anymore. That happens a lot in psychiatry. Go mess with a good thing and you might lose it completely.
Posted by Racer on January 19, 2008, at 20:02:15
In reply to Cycling on and off drugs - why do I do this?, posted by seldomseen on January 19, 2008, at 15:31:48
Have you identified *why* you stop taking it? That might be the first step to fixing this cycle...
Hm... I guess I don't have anything more that's helpful to offer, except that I agree with Llurpsie about setting a time period that you'll continue taking it.
Good luck.
Posted by Phillipa on January 19, 2008, at 21:12:58
In reply to Cycling on and off drugs - why do I do this?, posted by seldomseen on January 19, 2008, at 15:31:48
Seldomseen you are so blessed to be able to have a medication that works for you and as blueberry said in different words and even though you stop it when you start it again it continues to work. And that is seldomseen what a perfect name. Love Phillipa
Posted by seldomseen on January 20, 2008, at 8:57:06
In reply to Cycling on and off drugs - why do I do this?, posted by seldomseen on January 19, 2008, at 15:31:48
I am very lucky that I am in the ~1/3 of patients that respond to an SSRI - and I do respond, very well in fact.
I've been off and on prozac for the last 8 years. For the first 5 years I was very compliant. It's only been in the last 3 that I've been so squirrely with it.
Overall, I am not a stupid person. The difference in me on prozac vs. off prozac is dramatic. Not only that, but each time I stop, then resume prozac, the start up is not pleasant.
I guess I would like to think that with all the years of therapy and advances in my coping skills, insight into my own behaviour and change in cognitive awareness, that I don't need the drug anymore.
I think I want to be drug free, and lie to myself (continually evidentally) that I can be.
But I guess the drug + therapy combo is what is going to work for me.
You would think that with all my awareness of mental illness that I would welcome prozac therapy and be grateful for it. But right now I feel very weak and ashamed that I need it.
I guess that is the heart of the issue. That somehow I am not strong enough on my own.
Seldom.
Posted by Racer on January 20, 2008, at 10:52:18
In reply to Every single one of you is correct » seldomseen, posted by seldomseen on January 20, 2008, at 8:57:06
>
> You would think that with all my awareness of mental illness that I would welcome prozac therapy and be grateful for it. But right now I feel very weak and ashamed that I need it.
>
> I guess that is the heart of the issue. That somehow I am not strong enough on my own.
>
> Seldom.Hm... Do I detect a whiff of judgment there? Criticism? A nuance of, say, absence of compassion? Seems like you've always offered a lot more kindness to others than you're offering to yourself in this one.
It's not weakness. I suspect you really do know it, but are having trouble wrapping your brain around that when it comes to you. (Hey, not like I don't understand. In my case, though, I get sick of living half a life on the medication, so I stop. Net result is the same for both of us, though, right?)
Can you look at this as being more like diabetes, arthritis, even some cancers, where it requires chronic treatment to maintain optimal health? (Hm... Come to think of it, could it be you who brought that up a couple of times to others? Maybe not, my memory is fritzy right now...)
Good luck to you. And I hope this was coherent. This is me, pre-caffeine...
Posted by bleauberry on January 20, 2008, at 11:17:09
In reply to Cycling on and off drugs - why do I do this?, posted by seldomseen on January 19, 2008, at 15:31:48
I'm just curious. A little bit off topic so I apologize...
Do you take brand name Lilly prozac? Or is it generic prozac? Have you had experience with both to judge if there is a difference?
Posted by seldomseen on January 20, 2008, at 11:52:19
In reply to Re: Every single one of you is correct » seldomseen, posted by Racer on January 20, 2008, at 10:52:18
You're right, this is about me coming to terms with my own illness and taking responsibility for it.
There was this little voice in me, and it's always been there, that said "well, there is just something wrong with you, you don't think about things correctly, you make too much out of everything, you're lazy - quit being such a drama queen". I'M not really sick, I'M just stupid.
I was just really hoping that little voice inside my head was right and that if I could fix all those things about myself, then I would be better. I really was hoping it was "all in my head".But it's not, it's as real for me as it is for anyone else. I'm going to require medication for the rest of my life. This is not going to magically go away and I can't think my way out of it.
I've known it for others all along, I think I finally learned that for myself.
Seldom.
Posted by seldomseen on January 20, 2008, at 12:11:13
In reply to Re: Cycling on and off drugs - why do I do this? » seldomseen, posted by bleauberry on January 20, 2008, at 11:17:09
I started out on brand name prozac, then switched to generic.
I currently take fluoxetine manufactured by Sidmak, but I switch pharmacies enough that I've tried a lot of different generics.
I can't tell any difference between name brand and generic (except in price).
I must be very sensitive to prozac. With both generic and name brand I start to notice a change in the way I feel at 3 days (sweaty palms and feet, vivid dreams, profound sensitivity to caffeine, and change in taste and smell). I've started and stopped this drug enough to know and it's 3 days. On day 7-8 the anxiety kicks in, then about day 14 it levels off and I feel better - more aware, less fatigued and just clearer. I usually start to whistle (isn't that odd).
Seldom.
Posted by Larry Hoover on January 20, 2008, at 13:26:57
In reply to Re: Every single one of you is correct » Racer, posted by seldomseen on January 20, 2008, at 11:52:19
> There was this little voice in me, and it's always been there, that said "well, there is just something wrong with you, you don't think about things correctly, you make too much out of everything, you're lazy - quit being such a drama queen". I'M not really sick, I'M just stupid.
This specific voice.....does it remind you of someone?
I had a persistent voice, though with a much different message. In any case, once I had labelled the source (mom), I was much more able to dismiss it as external to my own self.
It sounds like you're at one of those forks in the road. I like forks in the road. You not only get to choose one path, you get to choose one to leave behind.
Kind regards,
Lar
Posted by stargazer2 on January 20, 2008, at 22:04:26
In reply to Re: Every single one of you is correct » seldomseen, posted by Larry Hoover on January 20, 2008, at 13:26:57
SS, Just wondering what your dose of Prozac is. You seem to have alot of start up effects and I was wondering if your dosage might be too high.
I'm one of those people who respond at a much lower dose than many others and I think alot of those early effects often caused me to stop the med too soon. I finally said to my pdoc that I felt at lower doses and once I did this, I felt better and had less side effects that had often kept me from staying on any med long enough to know if it was working.
Many people do better at a low doses of some meds, even as low as 10 mg with prozac. And the beauty of prozac is that you can miss a few doses and still feel OK. Most meds do not give you this luxury, some only give you a few hours before your body starts to have effects which indicate you are due for another dose.
P.S. I used to feel so defective because I needed medication to be "normal"...now I thank God when I find a med that can give me this feeling that I once took for granted. The only time I stopped my meds is if they made me feel worse than how I felt off them. The depression always returned without meds. So I know I can never stop the very few that have worked.
stargazer
Posted by seldomseen on January 20, 2008, at 22:18:13
In reply to Re: Every single one of you is correct/dosage?, posted by stargazer2 on January 20, 2008, at 22:04:26
I start with 10 mgs for a week then up to 20. I don't mind the start up except for the anxiety. But I can control that for a few days until it resolves.
I can't stop my meds either. I've finally learned that.
Seldom.
Posted by stargazer2 on January 21, 2008, at 7:37:02
In reply to Re: Every single one of you is correct/dosage? » stargazer2, posted by seldomseen on January 20, 2008, at 22:18:13
SS, You are in good company....SG
Posted by 49er on January 21, 2008, at 11:32:21
In reply to Cycling on and off drugs - why do I do this?, posted by seldomseen on January 19, 2008, at 15:31:48
Seldom,
It is very dangerous to stop any psych med cold turkey. When you do that, you get severe withdrawal symptoms that look like a return of the illness. That is a common mistake made my medical professionals.
Obviously, only you can decide whether you need the med or not. But please don't base it on withdrawal symptoms that occurred in my opinion due to cold turkey withdrawal.
As an FYI, I am tapering off of all my antidepressants due to concerns about serious side effects including hearing loss, impaired memory, tinnitus, and hand tremor. I have been on meds since 1995 and started tapering in 2006. I expect to be med free within 12 months to a year. I am doing better than I ever did on meds in spite of dealing with stresses like a job loss and the illness of a family member.
Anyway, I don't mean to imply that just because I am tapering off of meds, that everyone can do it. At the same time, I am concerned that many people have convinced themselves they have to be on meds for life when that simply isn't true.
Like many people on this board, I spent years chasing the perfect med combination. I would say the last one I was on was mediocre at best. But before I became concerned about these side effects, I figured that a mediocre combination of meds was still better than nothing.
Little did I realize how wrong that thinking was.
Good luck with your decision.
49er
PS - Another withdrawal symptom is even though my brain knows what I want to type, my fingers don't cooperate. I just edited the sentence where I said please. Initially, it came out as people.
This is the end of the thread.
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