Shown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by pseudoname on April 26, 2006, at 15:12:02
I wish I could draw a graph of what I've been going through lately. If once every day I gave myself a score for mood & mental state on a scale of 1-10, over the last decade it would usually look like this:
1 1 1 1 2 1 1 1 1 1 3 1 0 1 1 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 1
Over the last couple months I've been going through something like this:
1 1 6 2 2 2 7 2 2 2 7 7 2 2 1 2 2 8 8 3 3 7 3 7 2 8 3 3
Make sense? It'd be better visually. But I seem to be making, without really expecting to, incremental gains that are STICKING AROUND. I'm doing an unusual med AND a very unusual therapy, but I've tried unusual things before without success.
Although things still go up & down, the Down is not as bad as it used to be, and the Up occurs more often. Almost every other day is decent.
Also, the very WORST times, which could go on for 8-48 hours, now only last about 20 minutes, and then that's it, they're over. (Where do they go? Why? I don't know.)
My life is still a relative disaster; emotionally & mentally I'm still probably the worst-off person for half a mile in any direction; I'm not improving uniformly, but...
I'm tackling stuff I've avoided for YEARS. And today I thought, “Why the hell are you not working to get into grad school?” I have *NEVER* had such a positive, hopeful thought about academics in all my life.
For a couple months, I've tried to deny that I'm getting better. After all, it's never happened before: I've always quickly lost any improvements. I think it's risky to publicly state that you're improving: when you “inevitably” crash, that makes it feel all the worse. Or so I've always thought.
But what I've been going through over the last few months is just too much to ignore. I'm getting incremental, cumulative improvement. I hope I won't have to post an update that it all went away.
;)
Posted by flame on April 26, 2006, at 15:28:44
In reply to Improving? No way! What's going on?, posted by pseudoname on April 26, 2006, at 15:12:02
Pseudo,
This is AWESOME!!
What is it that you are doing different? (Forgive me, but I have not read any previous threads, if you've already posted somewhere.)
I will be standing by to hear continuing good updates!
~flame
Posted by denise1966 on April 26, 2006, at 16:30:18
In reply to Improving? No way! What's going on?, posted by pseudoname on April 26, 2006, at 15:12:02
That sounds great, I have to admit I'm jealous but you deserve it after going through a decade of this crap.
I tried doing a search but can't seem to spot what's made the change. Is it down to a new medication?
Denise
Posted by pseudoname on April 26, 2006, at 18:39:34
In reply to Re: Improving? No way! What's going on? » pseudoname, posted by flame on April 26, 2006, at 15:28:44
> This is AWESOME!! ~flame
> That sounds great, I have to admit I'm jealous –denise1966
Thanks, folks. And I'm just reporting some *improvement*, not cure. Like I said, overall I'm still a mess! ;-)
> What is it that you are doing different?
> Is it down to a new medication?
It's a cliché, but I think it's both med AND therapy. The med gives me hope, and the therapy helps me go toward it. I won't give up either one.
My “unusual med” is buprenrophine (Subutex®) tablets, a mild synthetic opioid.
My “unusual therapy” includes part of "Acceptance and Commitment Therapy" (ACT).
Posted by Phillipa on April 26, 2006, at 20:48:56
In reply to My med and therapy, posted by pseudoname on April 26, 2006, at 18:39:34
Oh I've heard of ACT I hear it is wonderful. If anyone wants to you can google it. Love Phillipa
Posted by SLS on April 26, 2006, at 20:50:14
In reply to My med and therapy, posted by pseudoname on April 26, 2006, at 18:39:34
> It's a cliché, but I think it's both med AND therapy. The med gives me hope, and the therapy helps me go toward it. I won't give up either one.
>
> My “unusual med” is buprenrophine (Subutex®) tablets, a mild synthetic opioid.
>
> My “unusual therapy” includes part of "Acceptance and Commitment Therapy" (ACT).Cool.
:-)
Keep up the good work.
- Scott
Posted by Phillipa on April 26, 2006, at 20:52:24
In reply to My med and therapy, posted by pseudoname on April 26, 2006, at 18:39:34
I believe ACT is realizing you have a problem and accepting it instead of fighting it. I know Matt84 posted easlier and he knows all about it Sroll up find his name and see if his babblelight is on. He's very well informed with this ACT. Hope this helps Love Phillipa
Posted by pseudoname on April 27, 2006, at 6:45:25
In reply to Re: My med and therapy, posted by Phillipa on April 26, 2006, at 20:52:24
> I know MattW84 posted earlier and he knows all about it […] He's very well informed with this ACT.
Thanks, Phillipa. I appreciate knowing that. I hadn't seen any posts by him about ACT.
I've tried several times over the last couple years to see if anybody here was interested in it.
> I believe ACT is realizing you have a problem and accepting it instead of fighting it.
I would say ACT is accepting your uncontrollable *responses* to a problem — accepting your thoughts & feelings. You can/should still work on a problem, the ACT people say, if fixing it helps you move toward personally-chosen values.
:-)
Posted by pseudoname on April 27, 2006, at 11:24:08
In reply to mattw84 and ACT » Phillipa, posted by pseudoname on April 27, 2006, at 6:45:25
These are all of my Babbleometer (CES-D) scores since August 2004:
53, 52, 53, 47, 56, 54, 48
(Out of a maximum of 60. *16* is considered depressed.)
But yesterday, my score was...
...28 !!
Posted by Phillipa on April 27, 2006, at 19:12:03
In reply to mattw84 and ACT » Phillipa, posted by pseudoname on April 27, 2006, at 6:45:25
Thank=you you explained it well. So in ACT you recognize you have a problem accept it and then work on it? Sometimes I just don't get things unless them are very simplistic. Love Phillipa
Posted by Dr. Bob on April 28, 2006, at 10:34:44
In reply to Re: mattw84 and ACT » pseudoname, posted by Phillipa on April 27, 2006, at 19:12:03
> Thank=you you explained it well. So in ACT you recognize you have a problem accept it and then work on it?
Sorry to interrupt, but I'd like to redirect follow-ups regarding ACT to Psycho-Babble Psychology. Here's a link:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060422/msgs/637795.html
Thanks,
Bob
This is the end of the thread.
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