Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 596330

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Im still Schizoid (not schizophrenia...)

Posted by robot on January 7, 2006, at 19:58:39

My relationships are suffering. My depression is now docked but Im struggling with this personality disorder that makes me emotionally distant. Mary Jane helps with this some (and anhedonia), but hurts in other ways, so Im getting off it.
Ive come to accept that I have schizoid tendencies--disinterest in people, anhedonia. But I also have tendencies that go the other way, they just seem really dead right now. I have a friend who I know I have deep feelings for but Im not feeling them and I view everyone in this disconnected way. Its been worse, but this is still not good enough. A few months ago on zoloft I had times when I felt more. But I dont want to get back on it for a few reasons (for sexual and otherwise).
My physical sexual desire and performance is better. Yet--I dont have much real desire to get laid, to be with someone in that way. Even in fantasy. I dont get aroused without effort, foreplay isnt really fun. I dont feel affectionate. Its hard to explain.
Id like to find something that would help me *feel* more. I wish it were less vague than that.
I take St John's Wort (2.5 weeks), and I wonder if, as it helps in other ways, it might make me feel less in other nuanced ways.

 

Re: Im still Schizoid (not schizophrenia...)

Posted by Declan on January 8, 2006, at 0:56:19

In reply to Im still Schizoid (not schizophrenia...), posted by robot on January 7, 2006, at 19:58:39

Hi Robot

Well obviously (if I remember correctly) deprenyl's not the thing for you. On the Alternative Board there was someone who felt that 5htp (maybe) had improved his libido.

Of course I've no idea what schizoid means, splitting, all that stuff.

Anhedonia and disinterest in people are not, perhaps, ideal.....but they are entirely normal IMO.

Declan

 

Re: Im still Schizoid (not schizophrenia...)

Posted by robot on January 10, 2006, at 0:18:12

In reply to Re: Im still Schizoid (not schizophrenia...), posted by Declan on January 8, 2006, at 0:56:19

Thanks declan. I think that when I take Melatonin at night (seretonin-related) I do tend to have more of a libido the next morning.
Id like to try some 5htp again, IM just trying to balance my supplements right now so I can begin experiementing with other things like that.
Schizoid is hard to explain. I lose a sense of who people are and feel no empathy, though in other ways I can be functioning just fine. Its different than just wanting to be alone. Everyone experiences it sometimes I guess, I think the diagnosis is one of magnitude and duration. Ive had extreme episodes where these parts of me become very obvious--schizoids tend to experience a kind of perpetual depersonalization. Its hard to find others who understand it because its not a popular diagnosis these days, plus if someone is classically schizoid they are probably not seeking help, and if they are, they probably arent seeking communities online. Im on that middle ground so Ive been on both sides. Sometimes I wish I was completely schizoid. Its very confusing. My main complaint about my depression was, I dont feel like a person. I think my depression pushed me towards the schiz tendencies I already had.

> Hi Robot
>
> Well obviously (if I remember correctly) deprenyl's not the thing for you. On the Alternative Board there was someone who felt that 5htp (maybe) had improved his libido.
>
> Of course I've no idea what schizoid means, splitting, all that stuff.
>
> Anhedonia and disinterest in people are not, perhaps, ideal.....but they are entirely normal IMO.
>
> Declan

 

Re: Im still Schizoid (not schizophrenia...) ยป robot

Posted by Declan on January 11, 2006, at 16:25:24

In reply to Re: Im still Schizoid (not schizophrenia...), posted by robot on January 10, 2006, at 0:18:12

I can empathise with depersonalisation. Maybe I was always going to be vulnerable to that because I lived in my head so much, and maybe the drugs (all of them, I guess) made it much worse. OTOH I overempathise, try to please, which sounds different.

Oldfashioned diagnoses are really good. Neurasthenia? Maybe we've all got that.

Declan


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