Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 560375

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Re: enough

Posted by Maxime on September 29, 2005, at 14:08:55

In reply to Re: enough » Maxime, posted by Racer on September 29, 2005, at 1:58:40

Hey Racer.

Sometimes a doctor can get samples. He would have to call the makers of Adderall XR. Of course now I am not in the same province as him anymore. Last time I was the one who had to figure out how to get Strattera.

I don't even think the Adderall will help at this point. I am too far gone. I need a gun or a miracle.

I wish there was some place I could go where I could leave myself behind. I am sick of myself always being there. I wish I would just f*ck off already! I'm depressed and always complaining and constantly crying. I'm keeping Kleenex in business.

Any suggestions?

Maxime the loser.

 

Re: enough » Phillipa

Posted by Maxime on September 29, 2005, at 14:11:48

In reply to Re: enough » Maxime, posted by Phillipa on September 28, 2005, at 17:57:14

Phillipa, can I borrow $125 to buy my Adderall XR please? :-)

Maxime


> Maxie, well for goodness sakes borrow it then. What about all the volunteer work you've done? Couldn't they help out? Offer to pay them back. And when are you and Link getting together. Can't wait to see what you come up with! Fondly, Phillipa

 

Re: enough » Maxime

Posted by Phillipa on September 29, 2005, at 17:16:30

In reply to Re: enough » Phillipa, posted by Maxime on September 29, 2005, at 14:11:48

Maxie if it means you will get better I will. I'll scrounge it up somewhere. Fondly, Phillipa

 

Re: enough » Maxime

Posted by Racer on September 29, 2005, at 19:53:42

In reply to Re: enough, posted by Maxime on September 29, 2005, at 14:08:55

> Hey Racer.
>
> Sometimes a doctor can get samples. He would have to call the makers of Adderall XR. Last time I was the one who had to figure out how to get Strattera.

But no compassion programs at all up there? Have you checked NeedyMeds.com? I just want to make sure that there's not an easy solution here. If you tell me that you've checked -- and don't listen to the docs, they often don't know about these programs -- I'll leave it alone.

>
> I don't even think the Adderall will help at this point. I am too far gone. I need a gun or a miracle.

I've felt that, too, Maxime. And I'm still here. I'll put my great brain on it and see if I can help you on that miracle, 'K? I won't help with the gun, though. I don't like loud noises, and I do like the world better with you in it.

>
> I wish there was some place I could go where I could leave myself behind. I am sick of myself always being there. I wish I would just f*ck off already! I'm depressed and always complaining and constantly crying. I'm keeping Kleenex in business.
>
> Any suggestions?
>
> Maxime the loser.
>

I have a bunch of suggestions, Maxie -- I'm not sure you'd like any of them right now. I'll think about what they might look like for you right now and get back to you.

One suggestion, which you might think is too stupid to consider, is to give yourself permission to grieve tomorrow -- for your health, your job, your move, etc -- and maybe watch a tear jerking movie to help you cry out as much of your misery as you can. While it will make you feel sick, and it will seem like a total waste of time, and you'll probably wonder why you're such a "loser" and all the rest of it -- it might be that you need a bit of catharsis. I know that "Anne of a Thousand Days" will often help me feel better simply because I cry so hard -- making myself quite sick in the process -- that a lot of my grief comes out, leaving me free to start over the next day with less emotional tension inside me.

I hope you feel better soon, dear. You are important.

 

Re: requesting money » Maxime

Posted by Dr. Bob on September 29, 2005, at 21:32:48

In reply to Re: enough » Phillipa, posted by Maxime on September 29, 2005, at 14:11:48

> Phillipa, can I borrow $125 to buy my Adderall XR please? :-)

I'm sorry it's rough for you right now, but please don't request money directly from others here.

If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, please see the FAQ:

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#illegal

Follow-ups regarding these issues should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration.

Thanks,

Bob

 

Disturbing turn in this thread » Phillipa

Posted by Sarah T. on September 29, 2005, at 22:24:57

In reply to Re: enough » Maxime, posted by Phillipa on September 29, 2005, at 17:16:30

I must say that I find the above request for money extremely disturbing. Phillipa is one of the nicest people on Psychobabble. She is probably too nice for her own good, and I worry that she might be the kind of person who is easily taken advantage of or used by others. Phillipa, if that is the case, I do hope you will deal with that characteristic with a therapist because, in the long run (and probably the short run), allowing oneself to be used is not in the best interests of either party. If someone is particularly needy and has an excessive need to be liked, they may think others will like them more if they allow themselves to be used. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way.

If someone is borrowing money for a prescription that lasts a month, then how are they going to pay for it next month, and the month after that? Everyone, or nearly everyone, who posts on Psychobabble is having a very difficult time. What if we all asked Phillipa for money for our prescriptions? And what about food, clothing and rent? Will Phillipa pay for that, too?

Wasn't there a similar incident here recently in which a blocked poster zeroed in on Phillipa and tried to use her to post messages for him although that poster knew the rules better than anyone?

Phillipa, no one can tell you what to do, but I really hope that you work on yourself and your own needs. Dr. Bob says that PB is for education and support, but I highly doubt that financial support is the kind of support he meant when he started this site.

Psychobabble has many boards, including the Psychology and Social boards. We don't just discuss medications here. We try to learn healthier ways of relating to ourselves and to others.

 

Re: Disturbing turn in this thread » Sarah T.

Posted by Phillipa on September 29, 2005, at 23:39:15

In reply to Disturbing turn in this thread » Phillipa, posted by Sarah T. on September 29, 2005, at 22:24:57

Sarah I thought the same thing about next month. I just hoped she could work by then or find another source. And you are Soooooo right I do have a need to be liked by others. Thanks for pointing this out to me. I really appreciate it. Thanks again, Fondly, Phillipa

 

In defense of Maxime

Posted by Craig on September 30, 2005, at 1:31:28

In reply to Re: requesting money » Maxime, posted by Dr. Bob on September 29, 2005, at 21:32:48

I think Maxime’s humor appears to have been misunderstood.

She said she didn’t have the money to pay for a prescription. http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050927/msgs/560536.html

Phillipa told her, “Maxie, well for goodness sakes borrow it then.” http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050927/msgs/560735.html

Maxime replied, “Maybe there is no one I can borrow money from Phillipa. Don't you think that if I could buy the medication I would? I have rent to pay in 2 days and many other bills.” http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050927/msgs/560771.html

Since Phillipa seemed to imply that somebody somewhere ought to be able to lend her money, I believe that Maxime was joking when she replied, “Phillipa, can I borrow $125 to buy my Adderall XR please? :-)” Look, she even added a smiley! http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050927/msgs/561002.html

Maxime, I’m sorry for all the stress in your life. I hope something will happen soon that helps you feel better.

 

I don't think Maxime was serious » Sarah T.

Posted by Racer on September 30, 2005, at 2:04:12

In reply to Disturbing turn in this thread » Phillipa, posted by Sarah T. on September 29, 2005, at 22:24:57

I very much doubt that Maxime was serious about asking Phillipa to lend her that money. I'm pretty sure that she was making a point that she didn't have anyone she could ask, since Phillipa had suggested that she borrow money for her prescriptions.

I agree that Phillipa is a very nice person here, and genuinely cares enough that she would lend money if asked. But I think that Maxime is about the last person here to take advantage of Phillipa especially, or anyone else for that matter.

Maxime has been going through some really rough times, and it's hard for people who haven't experienced that sort of problem to understand fully just how hard it can be. Before finding out about the compassion programs -- and before finding a county doctor willing to sign the dang forms for it -- I went through periods of intensely painful withdrawal from Effexor simply because I couldn't afford the drugs. Imagine living through total hell? Vomitting and crying from the pain? All because I couldn't afford the medications I needed? That's pretty well where Maxime is now, only in Canada where the health system is a little different from here.

You know, I know that you are looking out for Phillipa, which is very sweet -- it's one of the best things about this site, that we do look out for one another. I'm just looking out for Maxime, because I really think she was kidding about it. I hope you can understand, and won't think badly about the people here -- particularly Maxime, who needs all the support we can offer here.

 

Re: requesting money » Dr. Bob

Posted by Maxime on September 30, 2005, at 6:08:14

In reply to Re: requesting money » Maxime, posted by Dr. Bob on September 29, 2005, at 21:32:48

I'm sorry Dr. Bob. It was meant as a joke. Won't happen again.

Maxime


> > Phillipa, can I borrow $125 to buy my Adderall XR please? :-)
>
> I'm sorry it's rough for you right now, but please don't request money directly from others here.
>
> If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, please see the FAQ:
>
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#illegal
>
> Follow-ups regarding these issues should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration.
>
> Thanks,
>
> Bob

 

Re: I don't think Maxime was serious

Posted by Maxime on September 30, 2005, at 6:14:24

In reply to I don't think Maxime was serious » Sarah T., posted by Racer on September 30, 2005, at 2:04:12

I wasn't serious at all! Although it was sweet and kind of Phillipa to say "yes", I wouldn't accept the money ... ever. I was totally joking which believe me is hard to do considering the state I am in right now.

I'm sorry.

Maxime

 

Don't you DARE!!! » Maxime

Posted by Racer on September 30, 2005, at 12:37:37

In reply to Re: I don't think Maxime was serious, posted by Maxime on September 30, 2005, at 6:14:24

Don't you dare apologize to me, Maxime. Just know that it seemed clear that it was a joke, to any of us who know you, and that those of us who do accept you as is, always.

Be well, dear.

 

Re: Don't you DARE!!!

Posted by Phillipa on September 30, 2005, at 18:13:54

In reply to Don't you DARE!!! » Maxime, posted by Racer on September 30, 2005, at 12:37:37

Maxime I knew you were joking as if you were serious you know where to find me. I hope you find a way to get the drug asap. Love Phillipa

 

Re: enough » Maxime

Posted by 4WD on September 30, 2005, at 21:35:18

In reply to enough, posted by Maxime on September 27, 2005, at 19:54:36

> I have had enough of living living like this. I cn't do it much longer,yet there is nothing that helps.
>
> Maxi

Maxime,

I can't imagine this will help you but I want you to know that there is someone else out here who is feeling exactly like you feel at the moment.

Every SSRI makes the muscles in my neck clench so tightly that the pain eventually becomes unbearable.

Effexor stopped working and Cymbalta never worked.

I'm bulimic (in remission) so I can't go on Nardil or Zyprexa. The other atypicals didn't help.

I have insomnia issues so Parnate is out.

I'm a former opiate abuser so opiates are out.

Tricyclic side effects were so intense I couldn't bear them.

I am one week into switching from Celexa to Luvox. The Celexa has worn off and the Luvox is doing nothing yet. If no other SSRI has been effective and tolerable what chance is there that Luvox will be?

This post is horrible. I am sorry. I was thinking it might help you to know that you are not alone but it has ended up sounding as if it would depress Mary Poppins.

I will pray for you anyway.

Marsha

 

Re: enough

Posted by lynn970 on September 30, 2005, at 21:46:48

In reply to Re: enough, posted by Maxime on September 29, 2005, at 14:08:55

>Maxime the loser

Maxime, please dont call yourself a loser. Speak positive about yourself. You would be amazed at just how powerful words can be.

You are here, on earth, for a reason. You do matter.

 

Re: enough » lynn970

Posted by Declan on September 30, 2005, at 21:54:48

In reply to Re: enough, posted by lynn970 on September 30, 2005, at 21:46:48

Yes Lynn I agree, lets not have that awful winners and losers stuff here. I remember Maxime did an inspired post ages back about loonies/being crazy etc where she said something like let's at least create a small place here where we don't think or talk like that.
Declan

 

Re: enough » Declan

Posted by Phillipa on September 30, 2005, at 22:26:12

In reply to Re: enough » lynn970, posted by Declan on September 30, 2005, at 21:54:48

Declan, and I remember when she felt well and believed in CBT. And volunteering makes her feel so good. So Maxime what do you say. Start from scratch? Fondly, Phillipa

 

Re: enough » 4WD

Posted by Phillipa on September 30, 2005, at 22:29:05

In reply to Re: enough » Maxime, posted by 4WD on September 30, 2005, at 21:35:18

Marsha, I'm with you there. Just stopped luvox and day two of 5mg lexapro and nothing not even side effects. I've tried all the SSRI's SNRI's and nortiptaline. They just don't work. And nightmares every night. Even with my valium. And all I want to do is sleep at night. Fondly, Phillipa

 

Re: enough » Phillipa

Posted by 4WD on September 30, 2005, at 22:40:35

In reply to Re: enough » 4WD, posted by Phillipa on September 30, 2005, at 22:29:05

> Marsha, I'm with you there. Just stopped luvox and day two of 5mg lexapro and nothing not even side effects. I've tried all the SSRI's SNRI's and nortiptaline. They just don't work. And nightmares every night. Even with my valium. And all I want to do is sleep at night. Fondly, Phillipa

PHillipa

What happened with the Luvox? Did it help at all with anxiety and/or depression? What dose did you take and for how long? How long before it started to work?

Marsha

 

Re: In defense of Maxime » Craig

Posted by Sarah T. on October 1, 2005, at 0:41:37

In reply to In defense of Maxime, posted by Craig on September 30, 2005, at 1:31:28

Hello Craig,

Thank you for that clarification. Perhaps I did misunderstand Maxime's post and, if that is the case, I apologize. I think my misunderstanding was reinforced by Phillipa's reply to her.

S.

 

Re: enough » Maxime

Posted by Declan on October 1, 2005, at 1:29:25

In reply to enough, posted by Maxime on September 27, 2005, at 19:54:36

Hey Maxime, I was just thinking....you know how depression's a made up word, its meaning is not clear (DSM notwithstanding) unlike unhappiness, dread, fear, words that have a very clear meaning to us. You didn't use the word depression, I know, but.....(do you mind me asking?) what have you had enough of?
Declan

 

Re: I don't think Maxime was serious

Posted by Sarah T. on October 1, 2005, at 3:04:05

In reply to I don't think Maxime was serious » Sarah T., posted by Racer on September 30, 2005, at 2:04:12

> >> Maxime has been going through some really rough times, and it's hard for people who haven't experienced that sort of problem to understand fully just how hard it can be.>>>

----I have indeed experienced "some really rough times" and I know full well how hard it can be, and so do the vast majority of people on this site. By and large, Psychobabble is NOT populated by "The Worried Well." In spite of the name "Psychobabble," most of us do not come here to babble. Except for occasional forays over to the Social Board, most of the time I come here in desperation and pain, and I know I'm not alone. I'd be willing to bet that most of us look forward to the day when we don't HAVE to log onto this site ever again.

In the five or more years that I've been here, I have met only a handful of people who are NOT going through some really rough times. Nearly everyone on PB, especially those who are long-time members, have been from here to hell and back more times than any human being should ever have to bear. Each of us expresses his or her plight differently, and expression can vary depending on where we are in the course of our illness.

>>>>>Before finding out about the compassion programs -- and before finding a county doctor willing to sign the dang forms for it -- I went through periods of intensely painful withdrawal from Effexor simply because I couldn't afford the drugs. Imagine living through total hell? Vomitting and crying from the pain?"

----I don't have to imagine living in total hell because I've been there, too. I wasn't aware that Maxime was withdrawing from Effexor. Perhaps I misunderstood that as well. I know that Effexor withdrawal is notoriously difficult, and I had no idea that Maxime had switched to Effexor or that she was struggling to get off of it. I thought that she was on Dexedrine and had been on it since Adderall XR was withdrawn in Canada. I live in the United States and I'm not at all well-informed about Canadian health care, so although I shouldn't try to extrapolate based on my experiences in the U.S., I will mention that my doctor always has samples of Adderall available. I hope that Maxime would discuss her financial situation with the doctor who prescribed the Adderall. Even if he didn't have readily available samples, I would think he'd be able to come up with some sort of stop gap measure to hold her over until she could afford to buy the full-month's prescription. Perhaps it would be best for her to remain on Dexedrine until she can afford the Adderall. Adderall is approximately 69-70% dextroamphetamine (it may even be closer to 75%; I'm not sure). Do Canadian doctors charge for office visits? Couldn't the doctor have agreed to temporarily waive his office visit fee or couldn't he have agreed to bill Maxime later, when she is solvent? When I see my psychopharmacologist, although the sessions aren't very long, we always talk briefly about other things going on in my life. If I don't volunteer the information, he asks. Doctors need to know what's going on in their patients' lives, and if a patient can't afford the medicine the doctor prescribes, the prescribing doctor needs to know that.

Although I don't know Maxime well, I've read many of her posts, and I like her a lot. I was very happy for her when I heard that she got a good job, and I was sorry to hear that it didn't work out. I don't think badly of her, and I don't recall saying I did. I do feel that requesting money from fellow mental health patients is unusual, potentially exploitative, and inappropriate; however, I think both Craig and Maxime have clarified the misunderstanding.

 

Re: enough » Declan

Posted by Maxime on October 1, 2005, at 7:36:48

In reply to Re: enough » Maxime, posted by Declan on October 1, 2005, at 1:29:25

> Hey Maxime, I was just thinking....you know how depression's a made up word, its meaning is not clear (DSM notwithstanding) unlike unhappiness, dread, fear, words that have a very clear meaning to us. You didn't use the word depression, I know, but.....(do you mind me asking?) what have you had enough of?
> Declan

I have had enough of life. Living with depression all the time. You see, Parnate did relieve me of my depression (about 80 percent of it). But now, I think all it does is get me out of bed. I cry all the time ... anytime, anyplace. I've lost friends. My mom is sad and can't handle seeing me suffer. This gives me enormous amounts of guilt.

I also have an eating disorder to contend with.

My face rarely shows expression anymore. I feel like I am dragging a ton of brick around with me all the time because everything takes so much effort ... even having a shower.

I know the Parnate is doing something to help me because I have gone into catatonic depressions before where I couldn't even dress myself. I just stared out into space.

I've had enough of always thinking of suicide. When I walk around the city I'm always looking for things (buildings to jump off, construction sites to jump into) that might be a way out of this hell.

I've had enough of spending what little money I have on meds that barely help.

I've had enough of being alone.

So that is why I say I have had enough of life because I am not living ... I'm already dead inside. I am only existing.

Maxime

 

Re: Last comment on this » Sarah T.

Posted by Maxime on October 1, 2005, at 7:47:16

In reply to Re: I don't think Maxime was serious, posted by Sarah T. on October 1, 2005, at 3:04:05

I'm sorry you have felt so much pain yourself.

You pay to see a doctor in Canada. You do pay for your medication. I barely have the money to buy bus tickets at this point. I also moved to another Province. After 3 months of moving to a new Province you must switch to that Province health care plan. Therefore, as of today, my pdoc is no longer my pdoc. And there are no pdocs or GPs accepting patients where I am now residing. However my pdoc is an angel and if I wanted, I could phone him and talk. He doesn't worry about money ... he is 80 years old. He is probably the best pdoc I have ever had too.

So there's a little info on the Canadian Health Care system (oxymoron).

Maxime


> > >> Maxime has been going through some really rough times, and it's hard for people who haven't experienced that sort of problem to understand fully just how hard it can be.>>>
>
> ----I have indeed experienced "some really rough times" and I know full well how hard it can be, and so do the vast majority of people on this site. By and large, Psychobabble is NOT populated by "The Worried Well." In spite of the name "Psychobabble," most of us do not come here to babble. Except for occasional forays over to the Social Board, most of the time I come here in desperation and pain, and I know I'm not alone. I'd be willing to bet that most of us look forward to the day when we don't HAVE to log onto this site ever again.
>
> In the five or more years that I've been here, I have met only a handful of people who are NOT going through some really rough times. Nearly everyone on PB, especially those who are long-time members, have been from here to hell and back more times than any human being should ever have to bear. Each of us expresses his or her plight differently, and expression can vary depending on where we are in the course of our illness.
>
> >>>>>Before finding out about the compassion programs -- and before finding a county doctor willing to sign the dang forms for it -- I went through periods of intensely painful withdrawal from Effexor simply because I couldn't afford the drugs. Imagine living through total hell? Vomitting and crying from the pain?"
>
> ----I don't have to imagine living in total hell because I've been there, too. I wasn't aware that Maxime was withdrawing from Effexor. Perhaps I misunderstood that as well. I know that Effexor withdrawal is notoriously difficult, and I had no idea that Maxime had switched to Effexor or that she was struggling to get off of it. I thought that she was on Dexedrine and had been on it since Adderall XR was withdrawn in Canada. I live in the United States and I'm not at all well-informed about Canadian health care, so although I shouldn't try to extrapolate based on my experiences in the U.S., I will mention that my doctor always has samples of Adderall available. I hope that Maxime would discuss her financial situation with the doctor who prescribed the Adderall. Even if he didn't have readily available samples, I would think he'd be able to come up with some sort of stop gap measure to hold her over until she could afford to buy the full-month's prescription. Perhaps it would be best for her to remain on Dexedrine until she can afford the Adderall. Adderall is approximately 69-70% dextroamphetamine (it may even be closer to 75%; I'm not sure). Do Canadian doctors charge for office visits? Couldn't the doctor have agreed to temporarily waive his office visit fee or couldn't he have agreed to bill Maxime later, when she is solvent? When I see my psychopharmacologist, although the sessions aren't very long, we always talk briefly about other things going on in my life. If I don't volunteer the information, he asks. Doctors need to know what's going on in their patients' lives, and if a patient can't afford the medicine the doctor prescribes, the prescribing doctor needs to know that.
>
> Although I don't know Maxime well, I've read many of her posts, and I like her a lot. I was very happy for her when I heard that she got a good job, and I was sorry to hear that it didn't work out. I don't think badly of her, and I don't recall saying I did. I do feel that requesting money from fellow mental health patients is unusual, potentially exploitative, and inappropriate; however, I think both Craig and Maxime have clarified the misunderstanding.

 

Re: thanks (nm) » Maxime

Posted by Dr. Bob on October 4, 2005, at 23:57:32

In reply to Re: requesting money » Dr. Bob, posted by Maxime on September 30, 2005, at 6:08:14


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