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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by alienatari on July 5, 2005, at 6:52:57
Hey all. I saw my psychatrist today. I had a bad week last week. I was very suicidal and becoming psychotic according to my GP or something like that. I cut up my arm the other night (i dont know why I cut myself, i only do it when i get really depressed). And I had a plan to kill myself, and I didnt do it thankfully (i just cut myself up some more instead, deep too. I think it will scar and I dont want scars.) For some reason when I cut the psychological pain is less.
Anyway, I was put back on zyprexa but only 5mg. This was last week (my GP did it after a phono convo with my pdoc and he told her to do it). Im feeling a LOT better. Still depressed a little bit but not as much. The paranoia is still here and so are the voices I hear but its kind of complex my situation.
Anyway, he basically said even though he has the information from my other pdoc's and hospital admissions it's too early to say but he believes that I am not bipolar and I probably have a psychotic disorder (I guess he is leaning towards paranoid schizophrenia, but I really dont know.)
So he said basically at the momoent I have as follows:
OCD (and a pretty bad case of it, its basically my main problem)
Unipolar depression
Anxiety with psychotic features
Psychotic episodesThe meds I am on now are as follows:
clomipramine - 150mg
olanzapine - 5mg
diazapam - 10mg
valproate - 1000mgI asked why am I still on valproate if I am not bipolar and he said because it can help potentiate the effect of the antidepressant and neuroleptic that I am on. He is also going to give me blood tests every 3 months, im not sure exactly what he is testing for but I feel better about this as my old pdoc tested me once every 2 years, if I was lucky lol.
Anyone else here relate to psychotic problems or paranoia? Id really love to speak to others that have these problems. Thanks guys and take care everyone.
Chris.
Posted by woolav on July 5, 2005, at 7:57:39
In reply to not bipolar, just psychotic lol, posted by alienatari on July 5, 2005, at 6:52:57
Chris, The only thing i can relate to is the cutting..When i was in a major depressive episode about 8 wks ago, i too decided to see what it was like to cut myself. I took a razor blade into the bathroom and cut until i saw blood and it made me alot calmer. I dont know why that is. But shortly there after, I saw a new pdoc and told him what happened and how i was thinking about suicide alot. He basically said i was bp2. I am on 2 mood stabelizers now and prozac for depression and klonopin for anxiety. So far so good.....
S
Posted by ed_uk on July 5, 2005, at 17:06:26
In reply to not bipolar, just psychotic lol, posted by alienatari on July 5, 2005, at 6:52:57
Hi Chris :-)
>Anyway, he basically said even though he has the information from my other pdoc's and hospital admissions it's too early to say but he believes that I am not bipolar and I probably have a psychotic disorder.........
Did he mention schizoaffective disorder? Perhaps that's what he's thinking of.
Love Ed xx
Posted by Phillipa on July 5, 2005, at 17:20:49
In reply to Re: not bipolar, just psychotic lol » alienatari, posted by ed_uk on July 5, 2005, at 17:06:26
Chris, I've always been taught that cutting is a sign of Borderline Personality. Unless you are really suicidal and want to die. They say the cuting does let out some of the pain[emotional] if you're Borderline. When you say psychotic anxiety are you out of touch with reality? A true schizophrenic is. They hear voices, see things that aren't there, etc. Your thoughts are too organized to be considered psychotic, at least to me, or maybe you write well or the meds are really working. Just don't hurt yourself please. I love having you on the Board and don't want to lose you. Can you get a second opinion? Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by Phillipa on July 5, 2005, at 17:23:22
In reply to not bipolar, just psychotic lol, posted by alienatari on July 5, 2005, at 6:52:57
Chris, sorry you did say suicidal and hearing voices and meds are working. They must be working very well. But you still might want that second opinion. Sorry I read you post so quickly. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by alienatari on July 6, 2005, at 5:31:32
In reply to Re: not bipolar, just psychotic lol, posted by woolav on July 5, 2005, at 7:57:39
Cutting isnt a good thing. I hope you dont do it again. I hope i dont either. I have done it a lot of times now, when I am really depressed.
I hope they dont label me as schizophrenic :( Not that there is anything wrong with being schizophrenic, just that the term holds such a stigma in society. God people are ignorant :(
Take care
Chris :)
> Chris, The only thing i can relate to is the cutting..When i was in a major depressive episode about 8 wks ago, i too decided to see what it was like to cut myself. I took a razor blade into the bathroom and cut until i saw blood and it made me alot calmer. I dont know why that is. But shortly there after, I saw a new pdoc and told him what happened and how i was thinking about suicide alot. He basically said i was bp2. I am on 2 mood stabelizers now and prozac for depression and klonopin for anxiety. So far so good.....
> S
Posted by alienatari on July 6, 2005, at 5:33:07
In reply to Re: not bipolar, just psychotic lol » alienatari, posted by ed_uk on July 5, 2005, at 17:06:26
He didnt actually but I think he was thinking that. My old psychatrist and other psychologists thought it was possible that I have schizoaffective disorder.
Schizophrenia runs in my family though. I wouldnt be surprised If I turn out to be schizophrenic.
Take care
Chris :)
> Hi Chris :-)
>
> >Anyway, he basically said even though he has the information from my other pdoc's and hospital admissions it's too early to say but he believes that I am not bipolar and I probably have a psychotic disorder.........
>
> Did he mention schizoaffective disorder? Perhaps that's what he's thinking of.
>
> Love Ed xx
Posted by alienatari on July 6, 2005, at 5:42:04
In reply to Re: not bipolar, just psychotic lol, posted by Phillipa on July 5, 2005, at 17:20:49
*hugs* thanks Phillipa for that message, your very kind. I think they ruled out borderline, well most of my docs did before.When I am truely psychotic or manic, whatever it is, most people cannot understand the way I talk because it becomes very disorganised and I halucinate visually and also I get auditory halucinations. I hear voices when I am in these episodes. And they last for months unless I am put on an antipsychotic.
I think I was just at the beginning of one of those episodes last week as I was starting to hear voices again and I am paranoid again :(
The paranoia is still here though but the depression is a whole lot better.
When I get anxious, I mean really anxious, I also get the same symptoms as I do when I have those episodes. One example I can remember is when I was driving and had a flat tire, I wouldnt pull over because I was so paranoid. I began to see people jump out of bushes with guns and didnt know what was going on (maybe there really were people with guns jumping out of bushes lol but I really think that it was a halucination) and I did hear a voice. I ended up driving to my grandmothers house with the flat until the tire caught on fire lol It was crazy!
This was about 10pm at night and I really freak out being alone at night. If it was in the day Im sure I would just stop.
The funny thing is with cutting, I could never cut because I am scared I will get Necrotising Fascitis (the so-called "flesh eating bacteria"). But since my OCD is starting to settle a little bit from the Clomipramine I dont have the obsession as bad. I actually started a course of antibiotics after I did the cutting lol, so the obsession is still there I guess.
So how is Luvox treating you?
Take care and lots of love,
Chris :)
> Chris, I've always been taught that cutting is a sign of Borderline Personality. Unless you are really suicidal and want to die. They say the cuting does let out some of the pain[emotional] if you're Borderline. When you say psychotic anxiety are you out of touch with reality? A true schizophrenic is. They hear voices, see things that aren't there, etc. Your thoughts are too organized to be considered psychotic, at least to me, or maybe you write well or the meds are really working. Just don't hurt yourself please. I love having you on the Board and don't want to lose you. Can you get a second opinion? Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by sleepygirl on July 6, 2005, at 13:08:05
In reply to not bipolar, just psychotic lol, posted by alienatari on July 5, 2005, at 6:52:57
Why not just be a combo of all of the symptoms you mentioned? I really hesitate with the labels. Everyone is so different. There are definitely lots of psychotic features to mood disorders. There's so much overlap to everything. I know the word 'schizophrenia' sounds so heavy.
I've gotten a bit, shall we say, "out there"-glad to be back, thank you, when I was really anxious and depressed. That my friend was truly frightening, and hard to admit or wrap my head around. My symptoms thankfully were fairly mild. I'll be curious to know how this turns out for you. Hang in there.
-sleepy
Posted by Phillipa on July 6, 2005, at 18:50:44
In reply to Re: not bipolar, just psychotic lol Phillipa, posted by alienatari on July 6, 2005, at 5:42:04
Chris, You very well may be schizophrenic. I've read your last posts. But medication today lets you lead a normal life. Who cares what society says. If the meds work no one will know. I had a pt Billy who came into the p hospital because he was bringing dead racoons home to eat. Really he was. One day before his meds started working he was dumping the garbage can in the dining room on the table. I said Billy what are you doine? He replied Feeding the horses. I asked him What horses. He said I have one here. I asked him where he slept and he pointed to a bedroom. Now the good part of the story is that his Mother is schizophrenic and believe me no one would ever know. Didn't know until she told us she was. She's very compliant on her meds. So try not to be scared. Every day they come out with new meds for this illness. They weren't even able to tx it years ago. People were institutionalized. So look at how far we've come. And the luvox. I'm cutting down. Starting to wonder if I'm even depressed or have just become so needy from not working in so long. Love you Chris. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by Sebastian on July 10, 2005, at 12:11:10
In reply to not bipolar, just psychotic lol, posted by alienatari on July 5, 2005, at 6:52:57
I've been psychotic since '97. What would you like to know?
I've never cut my self on purpose. But I did some other stuf not directly on purpose, I felt like I could not control what I was doing. And I knew what would hapen before I did it. Like standing up too quicly in the shower and hitting the spiket or falling over. This is what I did when I was not on medication. Taking zyprexa got me out of all that stuff, I took 10 mg for 7 years and now I'm switching to geodon which works almost as well. I didn't like the weight gain on zyprexa, even though I could control it, it was just difficult. Also I used to think the TV was talking to me, I still get this some times even on medication or I here voices that I think are around me but not sure it can be posible to hear that. Its like people who are talking about me, so that I just can barely hear. I don't like it, but not convinced its true. My diagnosis is schitzo-affective disorder. I used to be a drug induced psychosis, from all the pot I used to smoke. I've never tried to kill myself, I just used to worry that some one would try to kill me.(I was blamed by some locals in a death.)(for real) I have lots of anxiety problems. My psychotic episodes were always when I did not take my medication. I would stop taking it for months at a time.
This is the end of the thread.
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