Posted by alienatari on July 6, 2005, at 5:42:04
In reply to Re: not bipolar, just psychotic lol, posted by Phillipa on July 5, 2005, at 17:20:49
*hugs* thanks Phillipa for that message, your very kind. I think they ruled out borderline, well most of my docs did before.When I am truely psychotic or manic, whatever it is, most people cannot understand the way I talk because it becomes very disorganised and I halucinate visually and also I get auditory halucinations. I hear voices when I am in these episodes. And they last for months unless I am put on an antipsychotic.
I think I was just at the beginning of one of those episodes last week as I was starting to hear voices again and I am paranoid again :(
The paranoia is still here though but the depression is a whole lot better.
When I get anxious, I mean really anxious, I also get the same symptoms as I do when I have those episodes. One example I can remember is when I was driving and had a flat tire, I wouldnt pull over because I was so paranoid. I began to see people jump out of bushes with guns and didnt know what was going on (maybe there really were people with guns jumping out of bushes lol but I really think that it was a halucination) and I did hear a voice. I ended up driving to my grandmothers house with the flat until the tire caught on fire lol It was crazy!
This was about 10pm at night and I really freak out being alone at night. If it was in the day Im sure I would just stop.
The funny thing is with cutting, I could never cut because I am scared I will get Necrotising Fascitis (the so-called "flesh eating bacteria"). But since my OCD is starting to settle a little bit from the Clomipramine I dont have the obsession as bad. I actually started a course of antibiotics after I did the cutting lol, so the obsession is still there I guess.
So how is Luvox treating you?
Take care and lots of love,
Chris :)
> Chris, I've always been taught that cutting is a sign of Borderline Personality. Unless you are really suicidal and want to die. They say the cuting does let out some of the pain[emotional] if you're Borderline. When you say psychotic anxiety are you out of touch with reality? A true schizophrenic is. They hear voices, see things that aren't there, etc. Your thoughts are too organized to be considered psychotic, at least to me, or maybe you write well or the meds are really working. Just don't hurt yourself please. I love having you on the Board and don't want to lose you. Can you get a second opinion? Fondly, Phillipa
poster:alienatari
thread:523634
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050702/msgs/524158.html