![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 72. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by 4WD on May 17, 2005, at 22:21:29
I am sound asleep in the morning.
Something wakes me up. I become aware that there is a feeling of nervous jitteryness/too much adrenaline racing around in my stomach and chest. I try to go back to sleep because it's too early to wake up but I can't. The fear has started.I get up and try to calm down by deep breathing, praying, going for a walk, not thinking about it, trying to read, getting busy. It doesn't work. The fear begins to mount. In an hour it isn't fear any more, it's terror. Then the thoughts begin to race around : "why is this happening to me? what is wrong with me? Why can't my doctor fix it?" I lose the ability to think rationally. I cannot believe it will ever end. There's no answer to it except to take a benzodiazepine and that terrifies me because if I take one today, I'll still have to take one tomorrow and soon I'll have taken one every day and I'll be dependent but the fear will still be lurking there just under the surface. Maybe worse than ever because now I'm benzo-dependent. "This must be something physical wrong with me. Or maybe it's because I was on Effexor so long and now I"m not. Maybe a different combo of drugs is what I need. But which ones. Maybe I need to pray harder. Maybe I should call my pdoc. Maybe I should call the endocrinologist." The thoughts start to circle round faster and faster and pretty soon I can't stand the terror anymore and I start to cry. Sometimes I end up crawling around on the floor, screaming at the ceiling "God, Please make it stop, make it stop MAKE IT STOP." But it doesn't stop. There is total despair. I cry and rage and then I just want to die to stop the pain. I start thinking what I will need to take to the hospital with me because I will have to go there to keep from killing myself.
Somehow after crying and and screaming and moaning I will drag myself up and somehow find the will to keep going.
And then somehow I've made it to night time. On a good day, I only have to make it til about 4 or 5. On a bad day I have to wait til 8pm or 11pm. Because then it starts to lift. By 8 or 10 or 11, I feel almost normal. Except I remember the horror. And I think I can't go through that again.
And I wake up the next morning. Something wakes me up. The fear has started again.
This has been my life since October. Some days are not this bad. Some days, it's fear not terror. But there is always fear that the terror is there, just waiting.
I'm looking for any insight as to what is happening to me. My pdoc shakes his head. He doesn't know. The endocrinologist doesn't know. My therapist doesn't know. My husband doesn't know. I'm caught in an unbearable situation that doesn't have a solution.
I was on Prozac for depression for nine years before it pooped out. I tried Zoloft, couldn't take the side effects. Then I was on Effexor XR for about four years when it quit working for depression. I had some anxiety before going on it - GAD. The Effexor took care of it. I didn't have much emotion on Effexor, couldn't cry at all. When it quit working a couple years ago I started trying different drugs. I switched to Celexa with no withdrawal problems but had insomnia and some mild anxiety and so switched back to Effexor. It still didn't work, so I tried Paxil. That was when the terror started. Ten days off Effexor and onto Paxil and I started getting scared. So I went back to Effexor. I tried Paxil again a few months later; same results, back to Effexor. In October, when Cymbalta came out, I tried it. After four weeks, terror. I stayed on Cymbalta for 4-5 months along with different APs but still, terror. In January, in desperation, I went back to Effexor. This time I was on it for two months and was still waking up scared with episodes of severe depression and fear.
Now I'm on Celexa and Nortriptyline. If anything, the daytime terror is worse. I am seeing an endocrinologist, hoping he can find something physically wrong. My cortisol levels are three times normal but everything else seems normal or close to normal. I have a tiny pituitary tumor but the endocrinologist doesn't think it's causing this-the degree of terror is too great. I'm having all the tests anyway.
If I go to the gym and spend 45 minutes on the treadmill going as hard and as fast as I can I get some temporary relief, a significant reduction in the terror. Why?
Has anyone experienced this? Why does it usually go away at night? What in the name of God is happening to me?
Marsha
Posted by Paul Smith on May 17, 2005, at 22:58:41
In reply to Morning Terror. Please, please read this., posted by 4WD on May 17, 2005, at 22:21:29
I persnally think it is probably the meds unless you had this problem before you starting taking them. These sorts of meds alter chemistry that is essential for calming, the breaks so to speak. And I am not optimistic that changing meds would help. Be glad that you are not benzo dependent. Can be a very long term nightmare for many.
Posted by theo on May 17, 2005, at 23:22:18
In reply to Morning Terror. Please, please read this., posted by 4WD on May 17, 2005, at 22:21:29
Are you possibly going through repeated Effexor withdrawal? Seems like every time you stop Effexor is when you have terrors versus the new meds you are trying.
Effexor withdrawal scared me so bad, I thought I was going to lose my mind for good. I have never experienced anything so frightening as stopping Effexor XR at just 37.5mg and it lasted several days.
Posted by Larry Hoover on May 17, 2005, at 23:26:07
In reply to Morning Terror. Please, please read this., posted by 4WD on May 17, 2005, at 22:21:29
> I am seeing an endocrinologist, hoping he can find something physically wrong. My cortisol levels are three times normal but everything else seems normal or close to normal.
Was that a 24-hour cortisol, or separate samples during the day?
> I have a tiny pituitary tumor but the endocrinologist doesn't think it's causing this-the degree of terror is too great. I'm having all the tests anyway.
Nice of him to dismiss your subjective experience so lightly. Pituitary tumours are often the size of a grain of sand, but the effects can be huge.
I'm glad you're following through on the tests.
> If I go to the gym and spend 45 minutes on the treadmill going as hard and as fast as I can I get some temporary relief, a significant reduction in the terror. Why?
Not sure. Do you want to try some simple experiments?
Taurine. It's an inhibitory amino acid. Released into blood following muscle exertion, if I recall correctly. It's real cheap, where body builders get their aminos and potions.
Try 1000-2000 mg, and I'd hope you feel better in 10 or 20 minutes.
The other one would be niacinamide, a specific form of vitamin B3. It is also inhibitory. Up to 500 mg. up to four times a day. Make very sure you get niacinamide.
> Has anyone experienced this? Why does it usually go away at night? What in the name of God is happening to me?
>
> MarshaThere is a significant diurnal cycle of hormone release. Some hormones are high in morning, others at night. There are disturbances that invert those cycles, or exaggerate their size. I'm darn glad you're seeing an endocrinologist. I only hope he truly listens to your symptoms and their pattern.
I'm so sorry you're going through this, without any sign of relief.
Lar
Posted by JenStar on May 18, 2005, at 0:17:06
In reply to Morning Terror. Please, please read this., posted by 4WD on May 17, 2005, at 22:21:29
Marsha,
I'm SO sorry you're going through this! I'm so, so sorry. I really feel for you.I wish I had advice, but mostly what I have is sympathy. I've listed out my story below in case it helps.
About 2 yrs ago, I thought I had MS due to muscle twitches and fatigue. I started seeing a neurologist for tests. When I started getting tests & awaiting results, I experienced morning terror exactly as you describe. I would fall asleep and sleep poorly, fitfully, but I would sleep. rather early, at 5 or 6 am, I would awaken suddenly as if to some screaming silent alarm. For about 1/2 a second, everything would be OK. Then the terror would rush in like an ocean todal wave. My heart would race, my mind would race, I would actually cry with fear. I was afraid of being sick, afraid of being afraid, afraid of getting a panic attack. Mostly I was just filled with an indescribable terror.
It WOULD abate somewhat during the day, but it was AWFUL in the morning. It was all I could do to get out of bed, shower as if I was "normal" and get about my day.
When I described this feeling to my doctor, he said that is common with extreme anxiety. He prescribed Lexapro (10 mg/day). While we were waiting for the LEx to kick in, I took 1 mg of Xanax 3 times/day for about 4 weeks. After about 2 weeks of this, my morning anxiety started to fade. After about 2 months, I felt "normal" again.
I never, ever want to feel that pressing morning terror again.
I saw that you've tried lots of drugs; I hope you find a mix that works. I really really do sympathize. You're not alone and it WILL get better.
I'm thinking of you!
jenStar
Posted by JenStar on May 18, 2005, at 0:23:53
In reply to Morning Terror. Please, please read this., posted by 4WD on May 17, 2005, at 22:21:29
I think exercise helps with a lot of anxiety/depression - keep doing it! I'm sure it's good for you in many ways. They say that excess adrenaline released by anxiety (the "flight or fight" syndrome) can be quickly washed away/metabolized by exercise. The same with other stress hormones like cortisol. Maybe it would be good to work out 2X/day in shorter doses, or add an evening walk to your routine?
I think it's a good idea to see the endocrinologist to rule things out. Maybe there is a physical cause.
Have you ever tried Lexapro? It worked for me.
Don't worry about getting addicted to a benzo. Take what you need now; you can always get off them later. Obviously everyone is going to be different. But I foudn that when my anxiety lifted (amazing!) I was able to cut off the xanax immediately with no issues and no missing it. I only "needed" it for the anxiety; when that was gone, there was no dependence AT ALL. Maybe I'm just lucky and my body didn't become dependent, but I didn't find it hard to quit them at all. But it's critical to find the source of the anxiety.
I hope you find it. take care of yourself!
jenStar
Posted by 4WD on May 18, 2005, at 11:35:41
In reply to Re: Morning Terror. Please, please read this. » 4WD, posted by JenStar on May 18, 2005, at 0:17:06
I finished tapering the effexor in mid march. Could I still be having this response two months later? I took it for four years steady and then off and on for several more years while I tried to find a different med.
I took .5mg Klonopin this morning and I am not so terrified but am now very weak and shaky and I can't shake the feeling of horror.
I will try taurine.
Maybe I ought to get off all meds except a tranquilizer to see me through withdrawal. I don't see how I could be any worse.
Now I am shaky. And sluggish and depressed and apathetic from the klonopin. And still scared at the same time. I called my pdoc. He doesn't work on Wednesdays but he will check his message box around 3. Maybe I will go to the ER.
Marsha
Posted by Phillipa on May 18, 2005, at 18:35:05
In reply to could it still be effexor withdrawal after 2 month, posted by 4WD on May 18, 2005, at 11:35:41
I'm benzo dependant. I still wake up with the terror and it goes away at night. This is because I think now I can finally take the maximum dose of benzo and go to sleep. Some relief til the morning. Fondly Phillipa
Posted by 4WD on May 18, 2005, at 18:47:04
In reply to Re: could it still be effexor withdrawal after 2 month » 4WD, posted by Phillipa on May 18, 2005, at 18:35:05
> I'm benzo dependant. I still wake up with the terror and it goes away at night. This is because I think now I can finally take the maximum dose of benzo and go to sleep. Some relief til the morning. Fondly Phillipa
Phillipa,
I read your earlier post somewhere where you said you were now your husband's shadow. That hit home with me. I felt so bad for you. And for me.
I used to be a strong confident competent woman. I was the director of a public library with a $450,000 budget at my discretion. For ten years I did that job and I was great.
And now look at us. I only get out of bed in the morning because it's too painful to lie there and feel the fear. I am scared of everything. I am scared of nothing in particular, I'm just living in terror most days. The Klonopin helps the terror but it makes me more depressed. ANd it takes hours after I take it to quell the terror.
I have no life. My entire engergy and thinking is centered around trying to avoid the fear. People say don't focus on it. Get out and do something to take your mind off it. So I try that and I end up in tears in front of a bunch of people.
My terror goes away at night without drugs. It usually just disappears on its own in early evening or by 11pm. Does yours go away by itself or only after you take your valium?
Is yours anxiety or is it actual fear, like a phobic person facing their phobia? My fear is like that. My terror is like having a crazy person holding a gun to my head with the trigger cocked. For hours. It's like a panic attack that won't stop.
Marsha
Posted by Phillipa on May 18, 2005, at 20:17:36
In reply to Morning Terror. Please, please read this., posted by 4WD on May 17, 2005, at 22:21:29
Marsha, When it gets dark and it's okay to be inside and doing nothing I seem to be better. Like when it's daytime I should be productive. I don't want to clean, I don't work anymore, I follow my husband to work. He is a graphics designer painter on boats. Very talented. He went to work on his own because of me. My clinginess and having to have him home by a certain hour. Until he was home I rode my bike around and around because I was scared to be in the house alone. Now that he's working on his own I can go with him and I just do "grunt" work or something. I was a very successful Rn, and expert witness in malpractice cases able to testify in court. And I always won our cases. Then I started small dose of paxil l0mg with the benzos I've taken for years. Since then it's been downhill. I don't know if it's the meds or not that calm me down. Because there is added stress in my life now I took an ambien last night with the valium and still woke up. So I tried some chloral hydrate then. The same thing. So I really don't think it's the meds. Does anyone have an answer? Feel free to Babblemail me anytime. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by 4WD on May 18, 2005, at 20:37:52
In reply to Re: Morning Terror. Please, please read this. » 4WD, posted by Phillipa on May 18, 2005, at 20:17:36
> Marsha, When it gets dark and it's okay to be inside and doing nothing I seem to be better. Like when it's daytime I should be productive. I don't want to clean, I don't work anymore, I follow my husband to work. He is a graphics designer painter on boats. Very talented. He went to work on his own because of me. My clinginess and having to have him home by a certain hour. Until he was home I rode my bike around and around because I was scared to be in the house alone. Now that he's working on his own I can go with him and I just do "grunt" work or something. I was a very successful Rn, and expert witness in malpractice cases able to testify in court. And I always won our cases. Then I started small dose of paxil l0mg with the benzos I've taken for years. Since then it's been downhill. I don't know if it's the meds or not that calm me down. Because there is added stress in my life now I took an ambien last night with the valium and still woke up. So I tried some chloral hydrate then. The same thing. So I really don't think it's the meds. Does anyone have an answer? Feel free to Babblemail me anytime. Fondly, Phillipa
Hi Phillipa,
I don't think for me it's the "okay to be inside at night" issue. Because some days it goes away as early as 2pm, some days at around 4. Bad days it doesn't go away til about 8 or 9. Real bad days not till 11 or not at all. I can sometimes actually feel it "lifting up and away" from my body. Several times I've felt it start to go away and looked at the clock to note: today it went away at 3:47." That's without taking klonopin or any other benzo.
I was addicted to Ativan about 20-25 years ago. I took 5mg at night for sleep for years. I got very depressed, went to the doctor, he said: you don't need to be on tranquilizers, you need to be on an antidepressant. That's why you're depressed." So I quit the Ativan, cold turkey after ten years on it. I never want to go through that again, that's why I'm so scared of benzodiazepines. But right now I have no choice. I can take klonopin or go to the psych ward.
You still have morning terror even though you're on valium? Does it wear off during the night? Could you take a longer acting drug? Has your doctor given you any reason for the morning fear? I keep thinking it must be physical, since it started relatively suddenly and it's so intense.
What dose of valium do you take?
I hate this disease. It has taken my life from me.Marsha
Posted by Phillipa on May 18, 2005, at 21:25:29
In reply to Re: Morning Terror. Please, please read this. » Phillipa, posted by 4WD on May 18, 2005, at 20:37:52
Marsha, I take a total of l5mg of valium a day. 5 in the am and l0 at night. This is not that high a dose. I also take 25mg of zoloft. My pdoc thinks I'm taking 50mg. I can take up to 200mg. I don't want to though. Where you are afraid of the benzos, I'm afraid of the AD's. At least i know they have been around for years and years. The horrible w/d from AD's is something I don't want. Interestingly I have a small tumor on my pituitary that the doctors all say is nothing to worry about. I'm so sick and tired of doctors. And the pdoc just tells me to see one of the therapists. She tried to convince me that I needed an antipsychotic cause she takes one with her prozac. So no more therapist. There has to be an answer. Look at all the Threads now all dealin with others who want off their meds. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by Colleen D. on May 18, 2005, at 21:47:25
In reply to Re: could it still be effexor withdrawal after 2 month, posted by 4WD on May 18, 2005, at 18:47:04
> > I'm benzo dependant. I still wake up with the terror and it goes away at night. This is because I think now I can finally take the maximum dose of benzo and go to sleep. Some relief til the morning. Fondly Phillipa
>
> Phillipa,
>
> I read your earlier post somewhere where you said you were now your husband's shadow. That hit home with me. I felt so bad for you. And for me.
>
> I used to be a strong confident competent woman. I was the director of a public library with a $450,000 budget at my discretion. For ten years I did that job and I was great.
>
> And now look at us. I only get out of bed in the morning because it's too painful to lie there and feel the fear. I am scared of everything. I am scared of nothing in particular, I'm just living in terror most days. The Klonopin helps the terror but it makes me more depressed. ANd it takes hours after I take it to quell the terror.
>
> I have no life. My entire engergy and thinking is centered around trying to avoid the fear. People say don't focus on it. Get out and do something to take your mind off it. So I try that and I end up in tears in front of a bunch of people.
>
> My terror goes away at night without drugs. It usually just disappears on its own in early evening or by 11pm. Does yours go away by itself or only after you take your valium?
>
> Is yours anxiety or is it actual fear, like a phobic person facing their phobia? My fear is like that. My terror is like having a crazy person holding a gun to my head with the trigger cocked. For hours. It's like a panic attack that won't stop.
>
>
>
> Marshain evenly spaced out (as possible) doses throughout the day? My pdoc likes 3 doses - 7 am, 3pm and bedtime. He says it's really inportant to keep the level steady in your body. I sympathize with you. At times my anxiety has been soooo horrible. I hope you find some relief soon.
Colleen
Posted by 4WD on May 18, 2005, at 22:26:56
In reply to Marsha, are you taking the Klonopin... » 4WD, posted by Colleen D. on May 18, 2005, at 21:47:25
> in evenly spaced out (as possible) doses throughout the day? My pdoc likes 3 doses - 7 am, 3pm and bedtime. He says it's really inportant to keep the level steady in your body. I sympathize with you. At times my anxiety has been soooo horrible. I hope you find some relief soon.
>
> Colleen
Colleen,It makes me tear up when someone reads my posts and answers. I've spent so long feeling like my doctor doesn't know/care, that when someone seems like they DO care, I can't take it. Thank you. And you too Phillipa. And everyone who answered my post.
I try to take as little Klonopin as possible. I had been waiting til I got to the point of starting to pack for the hospital before I would take it. I had to stop that. I was going crazy.
I took .5mg this morning at 9 and none since. I will take another .25mg when I go to bed around 1am. I can't take it in early evening because it gives me restless legs and then I can't sleep. Even taking it in the morning causes me to have restless legs at night. Maybe as I get used to taking it the RLS will go away.
It also makes me apathetic and lethargic and deeply sad. (I told this to my doctor and he asked which was worse, that or the anxiety!)Sometimes I can't believe his lack of compassion. Surely there's another benzo that won't do all that. Anyway, I'll ask again at my next appt. (earliest available is late next week). In the meantime, I'll try your suggestion and maybe take .25mg t.i.d.
I have to laugh about one thing this doc said, though. When I asked if there was anything I could do about the dry mouth from nortriptyline, he said I could suck on a lemon.
And then I gave him his $160 and left.
Marsha
Posted by 4WD on May 18, 2005, at 22:28:25
In reply to Marsha, are you taking the Klonopin... » 4WD, posted by Colleen D. on May 18, 2005, at 21:47:25
Colleen,
Did you say Lexapro worked for your anxiety? Had you ever been on Celexa? I find Celexa not to be effective but I've heard many people say Lex worked for them.Marsha
Posted by Phillipa on May 18, 2005, at 22:57:06
In reply to Re: Marsha, are you taking the Klonopin... » Colleen D., posted by 4WD on May 18, 2005, at 22:26:56
Marsha, The last post to you made me remember a time when I first was given klonopin to wean off xanax. One Sunday I said to my husband "I feel suicidal, but I don't want to die". We called the pdoc. He called back from his car phone. He spoke aloud to himself and said"it's the klonopin" that's what's making you feel that way. Go back on the xanax and stop the klonopin. I did and the feeling went away. It's funny how what someone says can trigger a past experience. Maybe you do need a different benzo. Just a thought. And we're here to help each other and listen when others won't. So don't tear up in anything other than thankfulness that you found this site and all the wonderful people here who care. I mean really care.Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by Colleen D. on May 19, 2005, at 7:22:34
In reply to Re: Marsha, are you taking the Klonopin... » Colleen D., posted by 4WD on May 18, 2005, at 22:28:25
No. I take Klonopin and Effexor, plus 25mg of doxepin (TCA) at bedtime. No experience with Celexa. I used to take Zoloft, but it made me a zombie.
Again, good luck!
Colleen
Posted by lfitzge on December 12, 2015, at 9:52:47
In reply to Morning Terror. Please, please read this., posted by 4WD on May 17, 2005, at 22:21:29
> Marsha,
If you still post to this site, can you or anyone else tell me if any of you found some relief from the walking up terrors?
My partners story is exactly what Marsha went through. Looking for help.
Debbie
>
> I am sound asleep in the morning.
> Something wakes me up. I become aware that there is a feeling of nervous jitteryness/too much adrenaline racing around in my stomach and chest. I try to go back to sleep because it's too early to wake up but I can't. The fear has started.
>
> I get up and try to calm down by deep breathing, praying, going for a walk, not thinking about it, trying to read, getting busy. It doesn't work. The fear begins to mount. In an hour it isn't fear any more, it's terror. Then the thoughts begin to race around : "why is this happening to me? what is wrong with me? Why can't my doctor fix it?" I lose the ability to think rationally. I cannot believe it will ever end. There's no answer to it except to take a benzodiazepine and that terrifies me because if I take one today, I'll still have to take one tomorrow and soon I'll have taken one every day and I'll be dependent but the fear will still be lurking there just under the surface. Maybe worse than ever because now I'm benzo-dependent. "This must be something physical wrong with me. Or maybe it's because I was on Effexor so long and now I"m not. Maybe a different combo of drugs is what I need. But which ones. Maybe I need to pray harder. Maybe I should call my pdoc. Maybe I should call the endocrinologist." The thoughts start to circle round faster and faster and pretty soon I can't stand the terror anymore and I start to cry. Sometimes I end up crawling around on the floor, screaming at the ceiling "God, Please make it stop, make it stop MAKE IT STOP." But it doesn't stop. There is total despair. I cry and rage and then I just want to die to stop the pain. I start thinking what I will need to take to the hospital with me because I will have to go there to keep from killing myself.
>
> Somehow after crying and and screaming and moaning I will drag myself up and somehow find the will to keep going.
>
> And then somehow I've made it to night time. On a good day, I only have to make it til about 4 or 5. On a bad day I have to wait til 8pm or 11pm. Because then it starts to lift. By 8 or 10 or 11, I feel almost normal. Except I remember the horror. And I think I can't go through that again.
>
> And I wake up the next morning. Something wakes me up. The fear has started again.
>
> This has been my life since October. Some days are not this bad. Some days, it's fear not terror. But there is always fear that the terror is there, just waiting.
>
> I'm looking for any insight as to what is happening to me. My pdoc shakes his head. He doesn't know. The endocrinologist doesn't know. My therapist doesn't know. My husband doesn't know. I'm caught in an unbearable situation that doesn't have a solution.
>
> I was on Prozac for depression for nine years before it pooped out. I tried Zoloft, couldn't take the side effects. Then I was on Effexor XR for about four years when it quit working for depression. I had some anxiety before going on it - GAD. The Effexor took care of it. I didn't have much emotion on Effexor, couldn't cry at all. When it quit working a couple years ago I started trying different drugs. I switched to Celexa with no withdrawal problems but had insomnia and some mild anxiety and so switched back to Effexor. It still didn't work, so I tried Paxil. That was when the terror started. Ten days off Effexor and onto Paxil and I started getting scared. So I went back to Effexor. I tried Paxil again a few months later; same results, back to Effexor. In October, when Cymbalta came out, I tried it. After four weeks, terror. I stayed on Cymbalta for 4-5 months along with different APs but still, terror. In January, in desperation, I went back to Effexor. This time I was on it for two months and was still waking up scared with episodes of severe depression and fear.
>
> Now I'm on Celexa and Nortriptyline. If anything, the daytime terror is worse. I am seeing an endocrinologist, hoping he can find something physically wrong. My cortisol levels are three times normal but everything else seems normal or close to normal. I have a tiny pituitary tumor but the endocrinologist doesn't think it's causing this-the degree of terror is too great. I'm having all the tests anyway.
>
> If I go to the gym and spend 45 minutes on the treadmill going as hard and as fast as I can I get some temporary relief, a significant reduction in the terror. Why?
>
> Has anyone experienced this? Why does it usually go away at night? What in the name of God is happening to me?
>
> Marsha
>
>
Posted by Lou Pilder on December 12, 2015, at 12:53:58
In reply to Re: Morning Terror. Please, please read this., posted by lfitzge on December 12, 2015, at 9:52:47
> > Marsha,
> If you still post to this site, can you or anyone else tell me if any of you found some relief from the walking up terrors?
> My partners story is exactly what Marsha went through. Looking for help.
> Debbie
> >
> > I am sound asleep in the morning.
> > Something wakes me up. I become aware that there is a feeling of nervous jitteryness/too much adrenaline racing around in my stomach and chest. I try to go back to sleep because it's too early to wake up but I can't. The fear has started.
> >
> > I get up and try to calm down by deep breathing, praying, going for a walk, not thinking about it, trying to read, getting busy. It doesn't work. The fear begins to mount. In an hour it isn't fear any more, it's terror. Then the thoughts begin to race around : "why is this happening to me? what is wrong with me? Why can't my doctor fix it?" I lose the ability to think rationally. I cannot believe it will ever end. There's no answer to it except to take a benzodiazepine and that terrifies me because if I take one today, I'll still have to take one tomorrow and soon I'll have taken one every day and I'll be dependent but the fear will still be lurking there just under the surface. Maybe worse than ever because now I'm benzo-dependent. "This must be something physical wrong with me. Or maybe it's because I was on Effexor so long and now I"m not. Maybe a different combo of drugs is what I need. But which ones. Maybe I need to pray harder. Maybe I should call my pdoc. Maybe I should call the endocrinologist." The thoughts start to circle round faster and faster and pretty soon I can't stand the terror anymore and I start to cry. Sometimes I end up crawling around on the floor, screaming at the ceiling "God, Please make it stop, make it stop MAKE IT STOP." But it doesn't stop. There is total despair. I cry and rage and then I just want to die to stop the pain. I start thinking what I will need to take to the hospital with me because I will have to go there to keep from killing myself.
> >
> > Somehow after crying and and screaming and moaning I will drag myself up and somehow find the will to keep going.
> >
> > And then somehow I've made it to night time. On a good day, I only have to make it til about 4 or 5. On a bad day I have to wait til 8pm or 11pm. Because then it starts to lift. By 8 or 10 or 11, I feel almost normal. Except I remember the horror. And I think I can't go through that again.
> >
> > And I wake up the next morning. Something wakes me up. The fear has started again.
> >
> > This has been my life since October. Some days are not this bad. Some days, it's fear not terror. But there is always fear that the terror is there, just waiting.
> >
> > I'm looking for any insight as to what is happening to me. My pdoc shakes his head. He doesn't know. The endocrinologist doesn't know. My therapist doesn't know. My husband doesn't know. I'm caught in an unbearable situation that doesn't have a solution.
> >
> > I was on Prozac for depression for nine years before it pooped out. I tried Zoloft, couldn't take the side effects. Then I was on Effexor XR for about four years when it quit working for depression. I had some anxiety before going on it - GAD. The Effexor took care of it. I didn't have much emotion on Effexor, couldn't cry at all. When it quit working a couple years ago I started trying different drugs. I switched to Celexa with no withdrawal problems but had insomnia and some mild anxiety and so switched back to Effexor. It still didn't work, so I tried Paxil. That was when the terror started. Ten days off Effexor and onto Paxil and I started getting scared. So I went back to Effexor. I tried Paxil again a few months later; same results, back to Effexor. In October, when Cymbalta came out, I tried it. After four weeks, terror. I stayed on Cymbalta for 4-5 months along with different APs but still, terror. In January, in desperation, I went back to Effexor. This time I was on it for two months and was still waking up scared with episodes of severe depression and fear.
> >
> > Now I'm on Celexa and Nortriptyline. If anything, the daytime terror is worse. I am seeing an endocrinologist, hoping he can find something physically wrong. My cortisol levels are three times normal but everything else seems normal or close to normal. I have a tiny pituitary tumor but the endocrinologist doesn't think it's causing this-the degree of terror is too great. I'm having all the tests anyway.
> >
> > If I go to the gym and spend 45 minutes on the treadmill going as hard and as fast as I can I get some temporary relief, a significant reduction in the terror. Why?
> >
> > Has anyone experienced this? Why does it usually go away at night? What in the name of God is happening to me?
> >
> > Marsha
> >
> > Debbie,
You wrote,[...my partner...looking for help...].
I know what is happening relevant to your post, and can offer a way out. But first, is it you or someone else in this situation needing help?
Lou
>
>
Posted by SLS on December 12, 2015, at 15:13:21
In reply to Re: Morning Terror. Please, please read this., posted by lfitzge on December 12, 2015, at 9:52:47
Hi Debbie.
> If you still post to this site, can you or anyone else tell me if any of you found some relief from the walking up terrors?
> My partners story is exactly what Marsha went through. Looking for help.Does your partner have a diagnosed mental illness of any sort? This would include depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety disorder, PTSD, etc.
Any physical medical conditions?
Current medications?
At what age did these terrors first appear?
At what time at night does your partner experience these terrors?
Does he or she wake up during the terror?
Does your partner have nightmare dreams that can be remembered?
Any history of childhood abuse or neglect?
Sorry for all of the questions.
- Scott
Posted by Phillipa on December 12, 2015, at 19:44:18
In reply to Re: Morning Terror. Please, please read this. » lfitzge, posted by SLS on December 12, 2015, at 15:13:21
Scott I know Marsha not a Debbie? I don't think Marsha posts here but not certain. Friend on facebook. I could ask her? Phillipa
Posted by Lou Pilder on December 12, 2015, at 20:08:57
In reply to Re: Morning Terror. Please, please read this., posted by lfitzge on December 12, 2015, at 9:52:47
Debbie,
I would like for you to view the following video. I am under great restrictions here due to prohibitions posted to me here by Mr. Hsiung. But you can see this video by bringing up Google and typing in:
[ youtube, xltCohsjjDY ]
usually first
Lou
Posted by Lou Pilder on December 12, 2015, at 20:15:52
In reply to Lou's request-preparation for deliverance » lfitzge, posted by Lou Pilder on December 12, 2015, at 20:08:57
> Debbie,
> I would like for you to view the following video. I am under great restrictions here due to prohibitions posted to me here by Mr. Hsiung. But you can see this video by bringing up Google and typing in:
> [ youtube, xltCohsjjDY ]
> usually first
> Lou
there is an error
Lou
Posted by SLS on December 12, 2015, at 21:55:19
In reply to Re: Morning Terror. Please, please read this. » SLS, posted by Phillipa on December 12, 2015, at 19:44:18
> Scott I know Marsha not a Debbie? I don't think Marsha posts here but not certain. Friend on facebook. I could ask her? Phillipa
I thought Debbie was the author of the post by "lfitzge".
Anyway, it could be true sleep terrors (night terrors) or PTSD nightmares among other possible reasons. It is important to differentiate between them in order to determine which direction to go for proper treatment.
- Scott
Posted by Lou Pilder on December 13, 2015, at 21:11:39
In reply to error-Lou's request-preparation for deliverance, posted by Lou Pilder on December 12, 2015, at 20:15:52
> > Debbie,
> > I would like for you to view the following video. I am under great restrictions here due to prohibitions posted to me here by Mr. Hsiung. But you can see this video by bringing up Google and typing in:
> > [ youtube, xltCohsjjDY ]
> > usually first
> > Lou
> there is an error
> Lou
>
correction;
Lou
Go to Google and type in:
[ xtranormal, Xanax, klonopin ]
you will see the pic usually first
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